Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Great news. We may have a new Raoul Moat. Introducing Peter Reeve. One copper dead already.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-18778574
What's caused you great excitement recently?
Alt: Ian Huntley. Is he as bad as people make out?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 7:18,
287 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
Ummmm excitement? I'm excited that I get to genetically work out the sex of a chicken experimentally as part of my course, does that count?Pretty sure any person who goes out of their way to kill another human being, much less two young girls, is just as bad as they appear.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 7:26, Reply)
If it has a cock, it's a cock(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 7:43,
Reply)
we don't even get to see the chicken.We get like, a sample of muscle, blood or feather and have to determine the sex from that.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 7:46, Reply)
He only wanted to give them a bath.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:51,
Reply)
'A white tent now stands where the officer was shot'A more fitting tribute you'd struggle to find. I'm sure it is exactly what he would have wanted.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 7:27,
Reply)
Needs a flashing blue light really(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 7:41,
Reply)
I'm waiting for a drunken former footballer to turn up with some takeaway food. Got to wait for Peter Reeve (or 'the Reevster' as I like to call him) to hide away somewhere first. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 7:44,
Reply)
Peter Shreeves should turn up(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:37,
Reply)
I'm hoping he's hiding in a shed. That would make it perfect (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:39,
Reply)
Hiding in a shed?I have a shed I can't get into on campus. It's behind the office. I just want to get in so I can see what they're HIDING from us students!!
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:47, Reply)
Shooting that copperI was always more of a Maxine Carr fan. I bet she took it up the shitter
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 7:43,
Reply)
Carr has got a bit of a wonky face though.I prefer Myra Hindley.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:25,
Reply)
Richard Chase, the vampire of Sacramento, is the connoisseurs' choice.When he was caught, he had some baby's brain wrapped in tissue paper in his pocket 'in case he got hungry'.
Fuck 'sub of the day', that's food on the go for ya.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:54,
Reply)
That will take some beating. Top serial killing. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:55,
Reply)
"We had lunch. Grace sat in my lap and kissed me. I made up my mind to eat her". As you do really.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:02, Reply)
No, CQ really said that.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:04,
Reply)
He ate human flesh and drank blood:some sources say he was trying to prevent Nazis from turning his blood to powder, and others say he was trying to prevent aliens from stealing his brain or shrinking his heart.
Good lad.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:00,
Reply)
It worked though, didn't it?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:01,
Reply)
Yes, the guy was electrocuted.That looks quite a barbaric way to go.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:03, Reply)
"All we know is, he's called the Stig."(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:07,
Reply)
I wouldn't say great excitement, but I was rather pleased with my winning bet last weekAlt: Not really, he only killed Manc kids. It's almost a mercy killing.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:45,
Reply)
No, to Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:03,
Reply)
best stick to nicking sweets from the cinema AA(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:12,
Reply)
I'm fucking brilliantYou're up early, anything good on the box today?
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:18,
Reply)
I don't know mate.It's a few bottles of wine, and the park for me.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:22, Reply)
pass on my regards to blaireau69 when you're therehe's usually found shouting at the ducks
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:26,
Reply)
If you fancy a bet today,"Peaks of Fire", 18.45, Uttoxeter. Favourite, but should piss it.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:21, Reply)
Have they got the guy or not?It says he's been detained, but then goes on to say he's dangerous and must not be approached. Even by Gazza presumably.
Also, "The manhunt has been extended beyond the Clacton area to include the rest of Essex and other counties".
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:48, Reply)
No they haven't got him. The Reevster is still outdoing them. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:51,
Reply)
Hearing someone being called the Reevster is making me think of Reavers from Firefly and also from Dragon Age: Redemption.(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Ha! Yeah me too!**I've no idea what either of these things even mean.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:54,
Reply)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reaver_%28Firefly%29that's the most relevant one.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:56, Reply)
Is that his official nickname now?The Reevster? It contains no wooden building references whatsoever.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:53, Reply)
A cool nickname can make all the difference.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:55,
Reply)
Well your username doesnt fit this 'rule' (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:56,
Reply)
You think my name is cool?Thanks Batts!
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:59,
Reply)
I feel as though I have really made it now.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:02,
Reply)
You should.I've been here five years. I'm practically OLD around here now.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:03, Reply)
Dennis Skinner is screwed then."The Beast of Bolsover" ffs, he's never killed anyone, probably.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:56, Reply)
Poor old Huntley gets a lot of bad press.He's alright really.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:52,
Reply)
This is either a typo or a searing indictment of Monty's character. (
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:02,
Reply)
Not a typo. I was going to call him Montster, but figured he'd cope without an extra T.
Plus he's a bit ... methusela-ish.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:03, Reply)
I'm shit actually. Sorry. Problems re kid, usual shit.You?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:11,
Reply)
Do you need me to cunt punch your ex anonymously?I'll do it yo'. Just fly me over.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:13, Reply)
If I start thinking too much about this shit I will get very upset this morning.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:15,
Reply)
Very Upset as in "I'll go off and have a little cry and some drugs/booze/revenge sex with Lusty"? or Very Upset as in "I'll go on a murderous rampage"?
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:19, Reply)
Very upset as ingetting very upset.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:19,
Reply)
Aww man. That's not cool at all.
Change of topic. What do you eat when you have no money?
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:22, Reply)
Yeah! That'll cheer him up!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:24,
Reply)
Well I figured he's the person to ask, he makes comments about no money and I literally have about $2.40 in my bank account until next wednesday.I also have very little food in the house.
I suppose my question is, if I whore myself out for drugs, will the drug effects stop me feeling hungry?
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:26, Reply)
super noodles are your friendsI think you have a aussie specific variety or maybe that NZ
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:27,
Reply)
urgh, I was hoping it wouldn't come to Super Noodles.yes. We have them. I've just been trying so hard NOT to be that kind of student.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:28, Reply)
don't you call them something else though? IE isn't there an aussie brand?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:29,
Reply)
find a shop with products out of sight from the till and steal them(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:29,
Reply)
O.O I could NEVER DO THAT!
I am OUTRAGED at the suggestion.
seriously, who would do such a thing, stealing from people who work hard?
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:30, Reply)
KRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYY(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:54, Reply)
Make friends.Visit them.
Eat their food.
Profit.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:32,
Reply)
There's this kid on here called Agnostic Antichrist, he does a very good impression of being a chav(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:33,
Reply)
I am shocked and appalled, I thought this place did a good job of weeding out the chavs and their impressionists.(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:35, Reply)
if it looks, sounds, and acts like a chavit's a congleton chav
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:38,
Reply)
ALSO AA HAS JUST DELETED HIS QOTW STORY DETAILING HIS CHAVVY STEALING HIS MOTHER WILL BE TURNING IN HER GRAVE !!!
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:40,
Reply)
IT'S OK IT'S BACK AGAIN, AA MADE THE CRUCIAL FIRST MISTAKE OF SAYING IT WAS ON THE PEAROAST TIP(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:54,
Reply)
Nah, but we manage to drag in the spastics like Rory.I posted a story (that I've since removed, I'll admit I misjudged) showing a way of saving cash at the cinema. Someone pointed out it was shoplifting, they had a fair point, I removed it.
It's an interesting observation that the last time I posted it, others thought it was a good idea. Ah well, things change.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:42,
Reply)
bOOhOO you deleted you massive gayyour polyester tracksuit stinks
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:45,
Reply)
We have to excuse Rory,the childhood sexual abuse really messed him up. "Daddy's special bathtimes" were a particular nightmare. He's more to be pitied than scolded.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:01, Reply)
i think that i read somewhere that if your mum passes away when you're littleyou're 80% more likely to grow up to be a criminal
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:09, Reply)
alot of AA's posts are criminally bad for instance(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:16,
Reply)
:o(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
This thread is certainly causing great excitement.Alt: we all get a little carried away sometimes, but y'know, some people do take things a bit too far.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 8:52,
Reply)
My bus got a sudden and unexpected puncture on the way to work this morningmaybe Reevesy shot out the tyre
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:21,
Reply)
I can't believe he missed.This is going to ruin Monty's day.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:22,
Reply)
More than I ruined it already by asking how he is and his food habits?(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:26, Reply)
Excellent news.We haven't had a proper mental about since.... Ooh, that last thread, probably.
In other, less exciting news, I'm back from my trip to haggisland. Did anyone miss me?
Alt: he was a shit paedophile, and an ineffective murderer.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:31,
Reply)
Awright.Got lots of laundry to do now, though. And I thought I'd clean my fridge while it's empty.
And I have to get back to work at some point this week, too.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:35,
Reply)
I have to study at some point this week but I haven't yet. I suspect I will start tomorrow. :)I know what you mean about an empty fridge. *sads*
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:36, Reply)
Mine isonly empty because we've been away for a week.Later today it will be full again.
Sorry.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:38,
Reply)
Youth isn't all it's made out to be when you've reached twenty and still have acne.(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:49, Reply)
yeah but we'll all be dead and you'll still be alive(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:52,
Reply)
Faaackin' 'Ammersmith and Shitty line 10 minutes late and then stopping repeatedlyIt's a good job nobody minds if you're 10 minutes late here.
... I hope nobody minds if you're 10 minutes late here.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
I mindMy bus got a puncture so i was 15 minutes late after being 1/2 late yesterday due to the sodding M4 being closed.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:35,
Reply)
and I kicked a massive dog turd down the street by accidentall in all a good start to the day
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:35,
Reply)
Did it land in a busker's hat?That would have been totally worth a bit of shitty shoe.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:37,
Reply)
sadly not, but it was the size and shape of a horse dropping(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:43,
Reply)
maybe, although it may have been carrying a very small banjole thus skewing perspective(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:52,
Reply)
i hate this memeyou've all got it backwards, i hate you all
i'm leaving
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:52, Reply)
yes!i did this to monty yesterday b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1665886
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:11, Reply)
I have a life....When I'm not studying madly, or lurking on here.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:20, Reply)
All London employers have to have a tolerance for transport-based lateness which their regional counterparts often do not.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:36,
Reply)
Topcat lols(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:41,
Reply)
did you know they pretty much shit constantly, 24hrs a dayalso one once bit me on the nipple
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:51,
Reply)
you lucky, lucky bastardwhat i wouldn't give to be bitten on the nipple :(
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:52, Reply)
Why were you fucking it in the first place?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:53,
Reply)
it was the slowest and least poisonous creature they have(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:54,
Reply)
at least i can reply to the correct posts(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:59,
Reply)
It's odd that such a mild-mannered marsupialHas such a vicious cousin. A guy I knew was in a party that got attacked by a drop bear once. He got away alright, but several people were hospitalised with severe lacerations and the guy it landed on lost his head.
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Kroney, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:00,
Reply)
Well, he'd B Flat nowIt's what he would have wanted
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:13,
Reply)
It's something that has been Major(ly) Scale(d) out of proportion.(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Perhaps you people shouldn't be taking touristsinto arias in which they congregate.
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Kroney, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:29,
Reply)
did you delete this and repost it?i said something about violints
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:29, Reply)
A Sharp observation, sporto(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:23,
Reply)
^ This one is the funniest one,because enharmonically Bb and A# are the same note LOL!
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:26,
Reply)
Don't start on Tangles, Poppet.God, you're being so cruel today :(
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Kroney, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:30,
Reply)
She really is being quite hurtful :'((
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:32,
Reply)
OH man you'll live. you're only hurting cos you're surprised that I'm being like this.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:34, Reply)
I'm sorry, I don't know what's got into me.Oh yes I do, it's called getting off motherfucking meds and not being a sluggish mess!
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:32, Reply)
I preferred you when you were on the meds(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:38,
Reply)
I didn't. I put on 20 kgs and was sleeping 12+ hours a day.
Three weeks off them and I've already lost a kg and a half, I'm not groggy during the day, and I'm sleeping well.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:39, Reply)
That was what we liked about you You fitted in like that.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:59,
Reply)
I heard she called him a flaming galah earlier(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:59,
Reply)
It's not bullying, more...I put my foot in my mouth, and kept going.(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Since he didn't actually answer your questionhe mostly survives by heading down to Covent Garden and street performing. You know those guys that pretend they're statues, or robots? Monty does classical art. His most famous being The Laughing Cavalier.
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Kroney, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:09,
Reply)
He's not laughing today, after Poppet's relentless bullying.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:10,
Reply)
It's time I had a go at dishing out what people give. I don't know why I picked Monty, I just did.And now he will suffer the consequences of being my chosen victim!
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Battered, meanwhile, only really finds employment over the Christmas seasonhe is thinking of quitting show-business, however, as he feels he's getting typecast as Grumpy.
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Kroney, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:13,
Reply)
there are fewer roles out there since the advent of CGIno more R2D2, no more oompah loompah, no more willow :(
that's probably why they started doing all those 'little people are funny' documentaries
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:18, Reply)
I'm holding out for Louis Theroux. I won't settle for any other documentary. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:32,
Reply)
PC Dibbletop nominative determinalism, right there.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:00,
Reply)
You are off to see a small Dutch team from Venlo?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:13,
Reply)
because you are thinkning of men's cocks(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:18,
Reply)
Oh right, so cock euphemisms are more important than classic film knowledge now?(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:23, Reply)
can you punch AA really hard in the ear for me pleaseand say something like "that's for being a shoplifting chav"
ta
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:18,
Reply)
pick n mixthat stuff's like gold dust, it takes african sweatshop workers six months just to get enough ingredients together to make two cola bottles and a fried egg
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:23, Reply)
and don't even start on the sherbet fountainsthey have to measure each grain of sherbet individually and they only get paid tuppence a year.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:24,
Reply)
I heard that he stole a dildo(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:37,
Reply)
Hang on, I'll just activate the fist-sized teleportation device, the other part of which is currently situated on AA's shoulderYour timing is flawless kiddo, normally I keep it in Apey's pants.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:22, Reply)
single barreled pump action yoghurt rifles(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:35,
Reply)
oh fuck you right in your barking spider(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:41,
Reply)
Oh man, my housemate is looking at me like I'm a nutter.I just laughed so hard a bit of spit flew out my mouth onto my laptop.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)
Update: police are searching a specific area for him. Hurry up Gazza, you may not have much time. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:28,
Reply)
Raol Moat was "caught" on the day I got marriedit was such a happy day
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:34,
Reply)
He lost his head when he found he was invited(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:39,
Reply)
Not everyone's gf works in the sex industry(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:44,
Reply)
He could make her cum. Unlike NA who couldn't find a clitorous if it was painted neon yellow. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:46,
Reply)
luckily your wife's is like a soggy aubergine and i could hit it with a rubber band from across the room(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:47,
Reply)
HE'S DEAD. Gutted. Pathetic attempt. Moaty still has the crown.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:56,
Reply)
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