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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good afternoon minions
I shall be going to Morrisons later, this will be the first time I ever been to one. What should I expect from this bastion of Northern consumerism?

alt: I get to go here www.angelamalik.co.uk/ to learn some Asian cooking, which cusine shall I go for?

altalt: thursday is the new Friday so waht's going on this weekend?
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:17, 189 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
You should peruse the good wine section and also marvel at their new fresh veg section
WITH MIST!
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:19, Reply)
What is this "mist" you speak of?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:20, Reply)

like sprinklers for veg.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:20, Reply)
This^
Their butcher's section is quite good too
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:23, Reply)

It's not great but they do a have a good butcher section.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:19, Reply)
alt: Indian of course
Thai is shit.

Last time I went to Morrison's was to pick up some specific bottled beers - Erdinger Dunkel - as payment for a favour I'd been done. So check out their beers.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:21, Reply)
I think this might be trhe prefect thread
it involves food, Northernism and weekdn plans...mayeb some ill thought out politicla opinion would round it off
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:22, Reply)
Reading this post is like playing Scrabble

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:28, Reply)
I'm not very good at scrabble :(

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:30, Reply)
Chin up
You CAN spell it
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:36, Reply)
Morrisons is the best place here for fruit and veg.
The range is not that bad, and the prices are generally okay. There's very little chance of being sidetracked by non-grocery stuff either, as that department is nonexistent/shit.

*fucks off back to mumsnet*

Altalt: those in the know are whispering of a Next half price sale this weekend. This is of interest to me and my pathetic life.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:21, Reply)
Someone's been on MSE, sales are everywhere at the moment

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:23, Reply)
Yeah, it was in the MSE newsletter yesterday.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:32, Reply)
I stopped reading that.
It kept trying to save me money on things I don't buy.
If I followed all his tips I'd be worse off, not better off.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:35, Reply)
i read it
and then only use the tips I find applicable to me.
I guess it's easier than asking him to write me a special newletter all of my own ; )
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:40, Reply)
I WANT MY OWN NEWSLETTER!

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:42, Reply)
It is this weekend
online one was today but fuck all in it.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:31, Reply)
The online sale is shit.
If you put something in your basket they dont remove it from stock, meaning when you check out the items have sold out.

THE FUCKING CHEEKY CUNTS
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:35, Reply)
i see i missed OT's newest lowest low
and between the flouncers and the beakers and the imagination-devoid newslinkers and the sockers and the trollers and the cat-flinging and the sister-fucking and the fake engagements... that's pretty fucking low.

i have had morrisons on the other side a few times. they are very hard work, don't blink or give an inch. never eaten anything from there, though.

just been to the new but old-fashioned sweet shoppe on fleet street. they have the BEST american drinks in there - cherry dr pepper zero, vanilla diet coke etc. why is american stuff so much better than ours?
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:22, Reply)
American food is designed for children

It's been pretty dire here today
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:24, Reply)
I'm not sure that it is
Those drinks sound vile.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:24, Reply)
Vanilla Coke sounds good
Just not diet
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:25, Reply)
oh you have no taste
it is just that the range is so much bigger - eg they don't just have reeses peanut butter cups, they also have them in white chocolate and with caramel and with mint.

/first world problems
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:29, Reply)
I'm a troller.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:25, Reply)
I'm a smoker

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:25, Reply)
I'M A MIDNIIIGHT SOCKER

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:26, Reply)
*slide guitar wolf whistles*

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:26, Reply)
i think i like this post
i mean, i really really like it
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:26, Reply)
i thought sheds were made of wood
wouldn't a tin shed get really hot?
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:28, Reply)
It would have a rusty roof.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:35, Reply)
WAHT!

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:35, Reply)
ooooooooooh!
my name
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:37, Reply)
Only if you are a cat
with a banjolele
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:36, Reply)
*cough* hershey 'chocolate' *cough*

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:30, Reply)
Hershey ruined chocolate for everyone with their science and shit

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:31, Reply)
And their sexually gratifying "highway".

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:34, Reply)
Hideous stuff that smells like sick and tastes even worse.
See also American cheese. May as well eat thinly sliced plastic.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:38, Reply)
The US market gets caffein free diet pepsi too
and for some reason that died a death over here. You can get it, but at something like a pound a can, which can go and fuck off.

Also, I like to think /OT is b3ta's low point. Having said that, I have *seen* /talk, so maybe it isn't.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:34, Reply)
these fancy cans are £2 each
which is ridiculous, but then again, all the vending machines around here are that, so.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:35, Reply)
yeah, it's fine if you consider that a fair price
but with a lot of this stuff, they're really taking the piss.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:41, Reply)
go to the pizza section
buy the biggest mustard, gherkin and pastrami pizza you can find. It's the best thing ever.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:23, Reply)
I have started making my own pizzas, so might try this as a topping combo
pretty odd for a pizza though?
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:25, Reply)
best thing ever
I have to look away when I pass them at the moment in my attempt not to be a bloater
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:27, Reply)
gherkins = devils food

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:27, Reply)
make your own
if you do it without cheese, that won't be so bad, surely??
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:28, Reply)
I can only eat what tesco diets allow me
except today when I'm hosting a party with sloppy white chocolate cake and jelly and sandwiches.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:32, Reply)
Huh?
That sounds fucking horrible (apart from pastrami)
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:26, Reply)
Never been.
I like Sainsbury's.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:25, Reply)
It's a supermarket what the fuck do you expect?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:25, Reply)
I dunno a particularly well stocked rope and duck tape section in the MK branch?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:26, Reply)
Those damn sexy ducks

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:27, Reply)
What the fuck is duck tape?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:27, Reply)


(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:28, Reply)
IN YOUR FACE KRONEY

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:29, Reply)
i am LOLLING
lolling hard
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:30, Reply)
Quacking up?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:32, Reply)
Is there an echo in here?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:32, Reply)
THAT ISNT EVEN DUCT TAPE
ITS FUCKING GAFFER TAPE

Multiple layers of idiocy.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:32, Reply)
So what's duct tape then compared to gaffer tape?
and which is better for shed raping?
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:39, Reply)
Duct tape has a metal backing.
As it's used to patch up stuff like air con ducts.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:40, Reply)
so what's gaffer tape then?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:44, Reply)
A recording of a popular Bill Maynard series.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:47, Reply)
The stuff that sportscow linked
material backing with a plasticky coating.

Perfect for repairing waterproof trousers.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:50, Reply)
Of course, if you purchase a good quality brand (say Peter Storm) this is unnecessary.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:53, Reply)
Kroney, yesterday

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:33, Reply)
His bill is shit
Looks nowt like a duck
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:34, Reply)
DUCT
Fucking commoner.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:31, Reply)

b3ta.turb0t.net/questions/offtopic/post1671325
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:32, Reply)
I don't give a fuck. What does a brand name mean?
Toilet Duck bleach isn't a fucking duck that cleans my crapper.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:33, Reply)
Although I would love that.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:34, Reply)
I wish it was :(

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:34, Reply)
Also:
GAFFER TAPE
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:35, Reply)
this

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:36, Reply)
Gaffer tape is boss

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:37, Reply)
this is better than mine

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:40, Reply)
I was quite pleased with it

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:40, Reply)
I clicked it for you

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:41, Reply)
I get nothing for Bill Maynard?
Cunts.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:45, Reply)
No matter how many times you post it :p

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:50, Reply)
I just want a little fucking recognition.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:54, Reply)
HAHAHAHA BILL MAYNARD!!!!!!!!!

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:55, Reply)
don't know wh this is no matter how many times it'sposted

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:00, Reply)
Thanks Tangers.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:04, Reply)
Isn't a tape invented by Bill Maynard.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:37, Reply)
Isn't that the tape that's in charge of the other tapes?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:37, Reply)
This is funny because you think supermarkets stock for individuals.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:30, Reply)
Actually with the incresed personalisation of the shopper experience through data collection and analysis
this isn't as far fetched as it sounds
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:33, Reply)
this is so true
the ethnic section in the kensington tesco is all japanese rice noodles and big sacks of spices and flour for asian cuisine. meanwhile the one in brixton is very jamaican, without a bottle of soy sauce to be seen.

etc.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:37, Reply)
You're a fucking idiot.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:39, Reply)
on what grounds
specifically in this instance?
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:40, Reply)
They do not cater for individuals, they cater for what gets sold out the quickest.
It's not personalisation its stock control.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:41, Reply)
You really know nothing at all, this I promise you

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:42, Reply)
They do not cater for individuals.
They do not ship products specifically for one person through their entire logistics chain, pay someone to unload them and then pay someone to put it on a shelf for one person to buy them.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:44, Reply)
Do you work in Tesco's stalker department?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:44, Reply)
No
But I have experience with large grocery reatilers, and the amount of effort that goes into ranging the correct products is incredible and far more complex than we sell lots of X so stock more.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:45, Reply)
I'm a analyst, you say it's a lot of effort but the principle maths is based on not being sold out.
Just on enourmous databases. The "effort" and "thought" is managment bull shit, it's a formular.
/with the exception of special offer lines
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:48, Reply)
You know this from your close persoinal working relationship with large grocery retailers and their suppliers?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:50, Reply)
I have written a till polling script that was used by M&S food.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:51, Reply)
course you have sweetheart

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:52, Reply)
I have it on a usb pen somewhere I'll post it on here.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:53, Reply)
Promise?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:53, Reply)
Probably not to be honest.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:54, Reply)
Sadly he is correct.
They make it look personalised. Because we only shop in supermarkets and they only sell certain lines, you think tou have a choice catered to your tastes.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:44, Reply)
of course they don't alter their offering for individuals, I ws being facetious
but every purchase that you make has a bearing on what is stocked, what will be stocked and what will no longer be stocked.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:47, Reply)
You've just proved my point.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:50, Reply)
your point was that you are making assertions about a business that you have no experience of
which makes you look like a prick
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:52, Reply)
Only for brands within lines of stock.
It's all pretty much fixed. Example: when was the last time you saw fresh artichokes in a s/m? Now I fucken love 'em, as do all right minded people, but will shitcunt Tesco's stock them? No!
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:52, Reply)
I'm afraid as a sample of 1 your opinion doesn't count
whether something is in or out, does not simply depend on how popular the item is, it is also dependent non many other factors that i can't, should'nt and can't be bother to get into.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:56, Reply)
Ha ha,
I AM RIGTH BUT I CANT TELL YOU SO SHUT UP I AM HIGH UP IN BIZNIZZ SHUT UP
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:57, Reply)
Shhh
He's already said too much.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:59, Reply)
this was true on day one of /OT

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:01, Reply)
not at all, but giving awaqy IP to you mongs would be pretty stupid

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:59, Reply)
That's pretty weak, dude.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:02, Reply)
Genuinely, I would get fired
but as someone who is in the business, rather than a analyst for the NHS who is arguing for the sake of it, what i say is true.

The investment of time and money into the personalisation of your shopping trip, nearest store etc is far more than I suspect most people realise.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:07, Reply)
Yeah the NHS is a piddly little organisation.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:08, Reply)
I never said that, I mearly pointed it out as it is a different area to the one we are talking about
but don't let your insecurities show, k?
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:10, Reply)
I know exactly what's going on.
Someone managery thinks we must put demographic predition into a sales forecast. Analyst says ok, puts it in doesn't make a statistical difference, manager says put it in anyway. Analyst does but weighs it as 0.0000001% of overall volume. Manager goes to bosses saying he's improved the forecast. Rinse and repeat for sex, children in household, pets, clubcard data, phone surveys, smell of bread as you walk in, wine offers etc.
Managers go on about how they're taking all variables into account. Analysts sigh.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:07, Reply)
I cannot even begin to tell you how far off the mark you are
maybe stop arguing about stuff you clearly have no idea about, it makes you look stupid and childish, k?
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:09, Reply)
Go ask the nearest analyst about noise and extraneous variables dear.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:19, Reply)
The sexual tension is palpable here.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:21, Reply)

alp unish
+ by death
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:23, Reply)
Thanks for the advice! But I'm not in the office today so will ask them all tomorrow, k?
I think the NHS needs some excel work done now, so off you toddle
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:23, Reply)
Also: A SAMPLE OF 1 IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN GROCERY RETAIL!

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:58, Reply)
or that Chompy
is a product of his psycopathic environment
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:34, Reply)
I actually have a claw hammer some alan keys and a pair of pliers on my bedside table at the moment.
I was fixing my bed yesterday.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:36, Reply)
that's some hot stuff right there

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:37, Reply)
+for action!

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:37, Reply)
oh dear is your gf the same size as Bobby?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:41, Reply)
She's got bigger boobs.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:41, Reply)
LIES!

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:48, Reply)
I hope so, for the NHS's sake.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:55, Reply)
Grilled whippet
and roast ferret.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:26, Reply)
Is it my birthday already?
*runs muddy hands together*
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:27, Reply)
I just had a phone call which was a wrong number
they asked for Keith Richards
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:31, Reply)
Was it the honky tonk woman?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:32, Reply)
i didn't ask

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:33, Reply)
Angie?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:33, Reply)
Do you remember me?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:37, Reply)
Wasn't that Frankie?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:38, Reply)
I was 16 you were 12.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:40, Reply)
NONCE!

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:46, Reply)
You say that like it's a bad thing.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:46, Reply)
...when if felt so good

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:48, Reply)
Oh baby it hurts so good
It hurts so gooood.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:49, Reply)
Simple Minds' less successful follow up single.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:39, Reply)
I had someone on for Tyneside Hospital earlier
and my old falt number was one digit off the Port of Sunderland. I'd often arrive home to find 20-30 voicemails all from ships asking where to berth
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:33, Reply)
Pier 9 - colloquially know as "TGB"

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:34, Reply)
Nautical space docking

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:34, Reply)
They sell food, and drinks.
And have staff who take your money and fill shelves.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:34, Reply)
I worked stacking shelves at Morrisons
Not many were stacked.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:38, Reply)
Slacker stacker shocker.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:41, Reply)
This^
I worked there one month until payday then instantly asked what the notice period was and left after that (1 week)
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:47, Reply)
I worked for Associated Dairies in Swanley when I was 15.
I was chief shelf stacker in the toiletries section. It lasted 3 weeks. I still have some of the johnnies I stole.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:42, Reply)
Been busy then?>

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:43, Reply)
I am not known as Captain Waterbomb for nothing.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:46, Reply)
Obviously not "busy" enough

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:47, Reply)
You mean bizaaay.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:48, Reply)
*waggles eyebrows whilst rubbing fingers on gums*

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:51, Reply)
When are you next coming to dat London?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:53, Reply)
Not a clue, sorry
I generally dont go away with work these days but should a London visit arise I'll ensure I'm near Tayyabs/Needoos and give you lot notice!
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:55, Reply)
Please do.
I might be in your neck of the woods next month or early September and would appreciate a guide for Newcastle curry and slags.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:57, Reply)
haha!
OK
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:02, Reply)
or Bizet

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:53, Reply)
Or Bezique.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:54, Reply)
I worked nights at tesco before uni.
I worked about twice the speed of everone else so I could go for a fag and play pool upstairs on the free pool table.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:45, Reply)
Who was your allotted customer to shelf-stack for?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:46, Reply)
It was me, that's why he's so bitter now

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:48, Reply)
I did pet food, a couple of thousand catfood tins a day so someone like swipe in five years.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:49, Reply)
Haha.
Lolled at that.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:54, Reply)
No shed/rape/mods tomfoolery?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:50, Reply)
You askin'?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:56, Reply)
I am so bored.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:56, Reply)
hey dozer, you seen quentin anywhereabouts?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:57, Reply)
yes.
IN MY SHED!!@@@@

LOL!!@@"@!!!!!
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:03, Reply)
But I've saved /OT from it's post lunch doldrums!

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:57, Reply)
I am appalled at the dearth of coverage of England's young hopefuls.
www.thefa.com/England/mens-u19s/News/Match%20Centre/2012/englandvgreece/minute-by-minute?p=mbm&mid=241208

We have an actual chance of getting to the final and there's sod all anywhere about it.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:59, Reply)
teenagers play football whilst on holiday
great story
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:00, Reply)
For some reason as soon as English players get to 20 they turn shit
We're excellent at U-17 and U-19.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:04, Reply)
Our players are probably stabbiest

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:05, Reply)
They're certainly not the brightest
www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/chelsea/9395243/John-Terry-racism-trial-Chelsea-captain-only-too-pleased-to-follow-orders-in-courtroom-gaff.html
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:14, Reply)
I lolled.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:37, Reply)
We're a goal down but we've won a penalty

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:35, Reply)
U19's England vs Greece?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:12, Reply)
Naughty Battered in the naughty shed.
Tut tut.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:22, Reply)
again?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:23, Reply)
I bet he's grinning like a mong now.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:23, Reply)
What's he done now?

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:24, Reply)
Shedgate, apparently.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 15:24, Reply)
Him and Rory I bet
www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=wTbW8pQbWt0#%21

Double Shed lolz
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 16:11, Reply)

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