Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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so that lady whose wedding i went to the other weekher cancer's kicked it up a notch and she doesn't have long left.
makes you think, doesn't it?
alt have you ever shoved a highlighter up your girlfriend and told her to move about like a big trak?
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:25, 223 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
One of my mums friend has just been diagnosed with women cancer.I'm thinking of getting boxing tickets for the olympics... £20 for lightweight, not baaad.
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:27, Reply)
Maybe you could box her in the tits, it might help(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:29,
Reply)
Kroney could go see the kayaking, there's tickets avable for that and it's just outside slough.(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:31, Reply)
ent that the rowingI thought the other shit was up on the lea by waltham cross
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:33,
Reply)
I think it's both... Eton Dorney is where the kayaking is and it's not sold out.(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:33, Reply)
Oh, that's not proper canoeiung, that's just rowing for people who can't use a skiffwww.london2012.com/venue/lee-valley-white-water-centre/
There is some canoeing at the Lee Valley
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:43, Reply)
I'll 'Kayak' up your 'Cheshunt' in a minute.(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:43,
Reply)
I had dinner near Cheshunt last night.I'd forgotten just how chavvy the small towns north of London were.
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:43, Reply)
I've never had the pleasure.Anyway, I live in Essex, so I know ALL about Chavvy.
*adjust Kappa pants*
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:46,
Reply)
pretty sure you're only bringing up tickets all the time to piss swipe offone more time and i'll gaz the mods on you
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:33, Reply)
I think he should be allowed a random figure between 1 and 5 gazes. When he hits that figure, he gets a naughty step for a week.He doesn't know if his next gaz would throw him out for a month or not, when the step happens, the number of attempts gets reset. MWAHAHHAAHHA
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
that was the least deserved punishment ever, gonzhow come i got bullied so bad?
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:06, Reply)
I NO ! When you took the creep factor away from pretty much everyone by harrasing a girl who doesn't know you from adam just because you post on the same forum as her boyfriend.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:12,
Reply)
i think you should re-imburse swipe before you go buying anymore tickets, chompwomen cancer is the worst, all the women seem to have it
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:29, Reply)
yeah, with man cancer you have to have your bumhole taken away(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:31,
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we all decay day by daybecoming older uglier balder stupidier
it's disgusting
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:31,
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you've seent he photos of me at her wedding, haven't you?:( i look so working class
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:32, Reply)
you should have tut tutted at her wasting all that money and everyone's time what with her being nearly dead(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
the lucky groom gets all her assets now and alland all the wedding presents
and a sob story for all the chicks
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:36,
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Its WIN WIN, no matter which way you look at it(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:50,
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Cancer is, to quote, "fucking shit"Fucking terrible way to go
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:31,
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BigMuffTrak sounds good though(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:31,
Reply)
i've got some excellent olympics tickets - men's 800m finals, for a startbut i'm not sure the hassle of living v near the bloody earls court venue is worth any of it.
alt: what is a big trak?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:36,
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Still available in most good gadget shops, tooand iirc there's a mini version.
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:45, Reply)
We had big trak in school.I thought it was fucking shit even in the 80's
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Peej, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:21,
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I'm going to see the Weightlifting - I am really hoping for a full anal prolapse.Not my anus, you understand.
Alt: No - but I'm going to stop by Rymans on the way home.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:42,
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I did some weight lifting in my lunch break, you could have come and watched for free(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:44,
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I'm not sure watching you lift a foot long in to your gob counts, Nakers.(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:45,
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even if it is attached to a really fat man?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:47,
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Hey DiTI know I was mean to you on Facebook, but are we still going to the Olympics next week?
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:53, Reply)
We are, that is if you want to as you do not like me just now.(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
I do, I do want to, and I don't not like you just now either.It's just banter innit
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:00, Reply)
YOU DON'T LIKE ME ANY MORE *WAILS*OK, see you Friday then. As long as you promise never to use the word 'banter' again, like some kind of Nuts reading neanderthal.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:03,
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Christ.I just looked at that website. It's tooth-grindingly maddening.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:07,
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It makes me so sad that there are people out there that actually think that kind of thing is funny.(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:07, Reply)
I was going to post an example of idiocy but it'd be like saying a drop of water was an example of the ocean.It's the internet's biggest hive of fuckwittery.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:11,
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That said, you look at Monty constantly going on about how much he hates ethnic minorities, and you wonder ...(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:13, Reply)
I was trying to remember that phrase too!Dammit!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:12,
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NO, I said I don't not like you.It's a double negative innit, like totally banter and that.
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:07, Reply)
Oh. Oh, right.Brilliant! Let's go to the Olympics and spend too much money on Heineken and only use our VISA cards to buy Olympic themed tat*.
(*Which I am totally going to do.)
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:08,
Reply)
My mrs has laready met Wenlock and Mandevillethey came to her office.
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:12, Reply)
She was a bitI think she noshed one of them off in a taxi later, but she said it was okay because they were on her list and I wasn't allowed to get upset.
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:16, Reply)
what i liked about the olympic torch relaywas that it went filthy cops - coke bus - lloyds tsb bus - sunshine bus - torch
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:19, Reply)
Of course, they are a pair of sexy little blighters.(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:20,
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Thing is, she won't show me her list, and it seems to have a lot of names on it.(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:22, Reply)
I dunnoGaz me your real name and I'll ... OH, that's not gonna work is it.
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:28, Reply)
Oh yeah, yeah, you'll go to the Olympics but you won't come to Bristol and run 13.1 miles with me n' al.Etc.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:28,
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I knew there was someone else I had to grovel to:Listen, I'm sorry, and I have been an awful member of TCHGT, but I will be better. I can be better. But this time I have to be an awful cunt.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:31,
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You could stll come, just leave your wife to do the BBQingThere's still room in the car, that's all I'm saying.
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:35, Reply)
I don't think Flim's going to go for that...Give me another half, and I am there. My main fault with this one is that I dodn't put the date in my diary and I got confused.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:38,
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Sign up for the Coniston marathon next year and all is forgiven.(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 18:35,
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No, but I did onceshove a jumbo Pritt-Stik up her chuff to play "hunt the slug", though she said I took it too far when I attacked her with the salt cellar.
I was clearing Pritt-Stik off the carpet for fucking days.
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Kroney, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:46,
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The non-sticky sticky muff?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:50,
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I'm not and I don't think you are either(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:59,
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It's the same one that started the thread.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:59,
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If you want boring you should read AB's QOTW answer.What a heap of dull shit.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:06,
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b3ta.com/questions/tantrums/post1680099#answers-post-1681058
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:10,
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If you're going to be a cunt to QOTW posters, you cannot then post such a dull yarn and get away with it.And I hate QOTW posters on the whole.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:16,
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IndeedBut HE WALKED INTO A BED!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:16,
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA
classic
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:19,
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IT'S LIKE THE STORMTROOPER IN STAR WARS ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:19,
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Oh Montyjust when I thought you were a one trick pony you go and totally redeem yourself.
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:24, Reply)
B3ta! ASSEMBLE!https://plus.google.com/u/0/101414138205420067910/posts
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
I deleted my google plus account as it is shitWhat are you linking to?
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:00, Reply)
It's Penguin Books who are encouraging people to write stories line by line like you did at school.I thought this bunch of liars and fatties could really make it zing, you know?
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:02,
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I just ate a whisper and I have choclate all over my deskI guess i was fairly careless
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:22,
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Too fucking right you will pal*shakes fist*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:32,
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are you trying to make everyone melancholy?(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:14,
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then perhaps tonight, tonightyou should cheer up
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:20,
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This is the worst pun thread I've ever seen(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:28,
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the dayshift just aren't ready for uswho only come out at night
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:30,
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Stop being so mellon collie.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:29,
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fucks sake, you've already done that oneI'm going to have to dmaakm.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:30,
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Nope but I once shoved a maglight up a girl and when you angled it right her insides glowed(
Peej, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:19,
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now this is SCIENCE.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:22,
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You say tomato...(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:24,
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If he's walloped it up her foof, isn't it still rape?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:26,
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I don't think so, not in the UK.Rape is with a penis, anything else is sexual assault.
That's two to me BTW.
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:30, Reply)
You're on fire today, Al.Although I'd possibly be careful about boasting over your better knowledge of rape laws.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:32,
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I only know because I got involved in a rather vicious debate on QOTW once after some bloketold a story about putting chilli on his ex wife's vibrator after she cheated on him and left. And some mentalist woman called him a rapist.
And then I took the piss out of the story.
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:36, Reply)
Ah, that sounds about right for /QOTW.It's interesting, though, presumably that means there's no circumstance in the UK where a woman can commit rape.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:38,
Reply)
Errrrm, I'm not sure. I don't think that's rightthough I do remember a female teacher being prosecuted for doing one of her students and it not being rape, even though it was statutory rape.
But i'm sure there have been women prosecuted for rape before.
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:42, Reply)
That's what I thoughtbut that kind of goes against the whole "has to be a penis to be rape thing" which you're spot on, is the exact wording of the law.
Not that I'm going to get many plus points for googling "sexual offences act 2003" at work, of course, but meh, fuck 'em. Except just with a strap-on, so it's only sexual assault.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 16:02,
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i saw this vid of a frog eating a gloworm rightand the gloworm was luminescing from inside the frog
it was WELL cool
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:22, Reply)
I saw a video of a toad eating a firefly yesterdaywhen the lights were turned off it glowed inside the toad
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:23,
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Did you watch You've Been Framed yesterday?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:29,
Reply)
Did you see the bit with the toad eatinga firefly?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:36,
Reply)
i saw something similar, la-la was inserting a luminescent frog up phillie's mum's po(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:27, Reply)
So you thought you'd Tell The Tubbies?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:27,
Reply)
while you fiddled with your tinky winky(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:28,
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*returns with patentable device to make water colder*(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 16:10,
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Since second lunch, more like(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:33,
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i really haven't :(whats with the quentin bullying today i'm not even that fat
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:35, Reply)
If you are a giver, you need to be a taker(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:35,
Reply)
i could post the page i get when i try to gaz?its not very interestign though
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:51, Reply)
i thought maybe cr3 wouldn't want me handing out his email address(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:55, Reply)
you can get a fleshlight attachement for your computer these days(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 16:00,
Reply)
Not just any girlfriend, she's a yiffer(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 16:02,
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it's against all laws of nature(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 16:04,
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[email protected]HAHAHAHAHA topical and witty
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 15:58,
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I've got hotmail for non work drossall the cool kids have kept it reel with hotmail
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 16:01,
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It's funny because you think your going to pull him up on being rude about Cr3's physical apperance but actually you play th old switcheroo and joke about his email provider beng rubbish!anyway what's wrong with hotmail?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 16:02,
Reply)
what exactly do you mean 'emplain himself'?what needs explaining? that i gazzed a couple of very unattractive women some fairly obviously joke gazzes?
(, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 16:06, Reply)
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