Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
Come on you lazy lot, time to get up - "hands off cocks, on socks" as the army sayDid everyone have a good weekend? Tell us one thing you did and one thing you wish you hadn't done
Alt: I am off to that there Olympics now and then 90 mins of sweaty yoga tonight. What's going on today for YOU?
Alt alt: which newspaper headline would you most like to see about yourself?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 7:12,
167 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
I had an alright weekend, I was at work for most of it. I wish I hadn't been at work for the whole weekend.
Alt. Today I'm working, then a leaving do for a friend tonight, luckily Tuesday and Wednesday is my weekend, so tonight might get a bit messy.
Alt. Alt. Man found alive inside Great White, and appears to be controlling it. Has become some sort of Shark king.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 8:09,
Reply)
Good morning Sir Mont, You alright?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:01,
Reply)
For a Monday morning, I am....acceptable. (
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:06,
Reply)
weekend was alright ta.Read two features on Will Self, this has spurred me to get back in to the reading habit. I usually go for Stateside fiction, I'm going to go Ukaydian this time. Currently reading Amis, then after that I'll go for Will Self's new one.
Headline: Fiona Bruce marries stalker, Stockholm syndrome suspected.
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 8:20, Reply)
Mine was excellent thanksI went to my Brother's wedding, which was excellent, I just wish I hadn't spent as much as I did there.
Alt: Work, then I might be installing a wireless extender tonight, as well as sorting out another tenant's laptop. Joy(!)
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 8:34,
Reply)
Nah, you're alright thanks. I'm driving.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 8:56,
Reply)
As I already have socks on, can I keep my hands on my cock?I did have a good weekend, thanks. Although it did involve too much of other people's kids.
One thing I did was some swimming.
The one thing I wish I hadn't done was fall asleep on the sofa on Saturday night. I hate waking up at 2am confused, with a stiff neck and an unfinished beer beside me.
Alt: The usual dreary routine.
Alt alt: Album of the year, again.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 8:40,
Reply)
GOOD MORNING TANGALANGADINGDONG(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 8:52,
Reply)
Morning MontstantinopleIs this part of your MONTY FOR SUPER SECRET MOD campaign? Or have you started the day with a bottle of brandy?
Or is it both?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 8:56,
Reply)
I'm afraid I am not at liberty to discuss my super-secret mod activities.Not with you, not with anyone - apart from my campaign manager and cape designer.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 8:57,
Reply)
But they might involve brandy?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:13,
Reply)
I think I am allowed to say that yes, fine cognacs feature heavily.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:16,
Reply)
Watched the Olympics, mostly.wish I hadn't drunk so much red wine in the process, though.
alt: work : (
altalt: other than "localboy discovers cure for cancer" I'll tick the "no publicity " box, ta.
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 8:46, Reply)
It's not going to look good for the campaign if you can't pick up not even mildly obscure popular culture references.
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:07, Reply)
My team normally handle these PR issues.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:15,
Reply)
I spent the weekend reapplying creosote. Today I might replace the roof felt. I really want a hanging basket, but think I may have left it too late this year.(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Took my daughter to the petting zoo at Mill Hill, which was an excellent way of entertaining a child. I also purchase a bike. It's excellent.I wish I hadn't cooked beer can chicken - lots of hassle for something that just tasted like normal chicken.
AltAlt: Billionaire philanthropist Battered cures Malaria and wins 4th successive Formula 1 World Championship.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 8:55,
Reply)
Origin:Mid 18th century: from Greek philanthrôpos, from philein 'to love' + anthrôpos 'human being'
This really doesn't sound like you at all, Battered.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:10,
Reply)
GOOD MORNING SWIPESTER.Moderate weekend. I wish I hadn't tried to meet up with Lusty's mum for a City pint yesterday, as some selfish spastics had stuck a fucking Olympic marathon right in the fucking way. Cunts.
Alt: more worky tedium. Ho hum.
Altalt: Hawkwind recruit East London guitarist on £50k a gig and all the MASSIVE DRUGS he can consume.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 8:55,
Reply)
I have that One Tree Hill thing on the telly at the moment.This is possibly the worst show ever created. I've never seen a show where _every_ scene is over-emotional and over-dramatic. It's the hollywood equivilient of having everything on bold italics.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 8:56,
Reply)
Says someone who thinks that Hollyoaks is the best thing ever.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:00,
Reply)
it deals with real "issues" that teenagers come across veryday like serial killers, transgender conmen/woman and bent irish gangstars(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:10,
Reply)
Hollyoaks rocks, it takes balls to make hollyoaks.In fact, it took two balls and an arsehole, and was the first show to depict a gay rape scene agmonst school children since Scum.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:12,
Reply)
I often think there isn't enough gay rape amongst school children depicted on our screens.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:14,
Reply)
Scum is a good film, apart from that bit.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:16,
Reply)
I had an excellent weekendBBQ on Saturday and my Mam cooked Sunday dinner yesterday. Much beer and Jagermeister consumed
Alt:
Bovine athlete splits Kylie Minogue
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:01,
Reply)
*crosses arms Gangsta' style*WASSUP
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:11,
Reply)
Had a great weekend. Out on Friday. Gourmet cheffing on Saturday, enjoyed watching the golds come rolling in. Day at the Artillery Barracks for a couple of medals ceremonies yesterday.
Work today - boo.
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:01, Reply)
It was a fucking mess, chef.Cheering spastics everywhere.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:14,
Reply)
Weekend was good - kite flying on the beach Saturday morningI wish I hadn't come back.
Alt: Today is mostly work - boo hiss.
Alt alt: Coventry man wins biggest-ever Euromillions payout.
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:02, Reply)
kite flying, Or Kite Flying?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:07,
Reply)
Jagermeisteralt: fuck all, thanks for rubbingh it in
alt alt: Great Ape serves medal on a Plate! or something
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:06,
Reply)
I had to drink all of my wife's as she can't do shots and people kept buying them...and she wonders why i fell a asleep on the bog when i got home
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:15,
Reply)
I discovered a bottle at homeThere is now about an inch left which will disappear tonight
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:18,
Reply)
Monday night Jaegermeister in Scarpecow's house(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:22,
Reply)
There's a party and I'm invited(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:25,
Reply)
the olynpic park is BUSYThis is the first time my lust for diet coke has been outweighed by a queue.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:06,
Reply)
sticky and sugar free, Even I'm turned on by that.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:08,
Reply)
I would imagine he plans the occasional food and/or lavatory break,(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:12,
Reply)
maybe, Who knows. Why? You rather I fucked off?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:15,
Reply)
of course not, you seem like a good eggNew blood is always welcome. Just watch out for Monty, he's a predatory groomer.
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:17, Reply)
I wish to high heaven that you weren't such a massive knobend.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:24,
Reply)
first my unborn child, Now this. I'm distraught, I may need a draught of Dr Fennimans cure all elixir and a good lie down.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:24,
Reply)
I studied all weekend. Except saturday, I was sick saturday. But I studied all day yesterday, and was spoiled rotten by the fella. Then I made lasagne, and watched doctor who. Today I've had a test worth 20% of my mark for that unit, and dissected a pig the size of my arm.
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:07, Reply)
either you have big arms, Or you cut up a piglet.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:08,
Reply)
it was your unborn son actually.I cut it out of your missus's stomach and then sliced it open so I could observe the heart attempting to beat.
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:12, Reply)
Dear God woman what's come over you?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:13,
Reply)
I for one am shocked that an Australian could be so crude(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:17,
Reply)
WHAAAAAA????(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:14,
Reply)
Don't worry, she's in an bath of ice with a phone taped to her hand. She'll be right.
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:16, Reply)
You genuinely think I'm going to attack you after you gave me Haribo?Silly person.
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:20, Reply)
Baby sucking pig is excellent cooked on a barbeque.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:10,
Reply)
Sucking pig is all of teh aces, some people have a slight moral issue with it though(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:14,
Reply)
it was a pig fetus. Seriously, it had the umbilical cord attached and everything. And weighed nearly 3 and a half kgs.
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:11, Reply)
I dunno, I don't eat meat.even when I used to eat meat, I never tried suckling pig.
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:18, Reply)
SO. Not only did I accidentally see some of the marathon yesterdaybut I also had a look at the 'big screen' bollocks in Victoria Park. What a load of shit. There was 'The Sun pub', a couple of bent fairground rides and some cinema screens. Effectively a load of people watching the telly in a field. It made me very sad that I had to be subjected to a fairly major search just to go into a park. Nice one, 'radical Islam' you fucking wankers.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:10,
Reply)
It would be one of those headlines with the bullet points.• Trillionare found dead in bed from expected over-exertsion.
• Billionare's mistrist is admitted to Priory; is said to be distrort at the state of her vagina after encounter.
• Entire female cast of hollyoaks between the ages of 20 and 50 DNA found at the scene.
• That thing they do when they spray some stuff down and get the black out lights, yeah', that thing in CSI. You know, the thing that looks really cool. Well, they did that and found the cieling had a recreated version of the 16th chappel.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:10,
Reply)
UV light destroys DNASo that stuff may look cool but it's bullshit.
16th = Sistine?
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:12, Reply)
I was wondering where the other 15 was.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:13,
Reply)
what i should have asked: write the headlines for each other - guess the media star(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:15,
Reply)
if only ignore weren't for the weak of character and brainI could so ignore you for that
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:19,
Reply)
Come on, it was funny. And if you WILL put a story up on QOTW about being in bed with your prick of a boss who shit the bed....
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:21, Reply)
Man arrested over "dirty protest" at Hawkwind gigA man was arrested late last night after stipping naked and smearing hiself in faeces and attempting to access the backstage of a Hawkwind gig. Police say the the man appeared dishevelled, confused and had money problems. Hawkwind were unavailible for comment
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:21,
Reply)
ooh oohIt's battered, isn't it???
The song that always reminds me of monty is steppenwolf "magic carpet". I think I must have seen him dancing to it once because that's the image I get
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:26,
Reply)
York man shamed in "non-matching cufflink" horror(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:26,
Reply)
'York man removes plasters and verucca socks from shallow endbefore re-stocking the vending machine and letting someone into their locker who had lost their key'
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:31,
Reply)
Claims that "Hip-Hop single most important musical movement since Jazz"(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:32, Reply)
Had a nice long walk around the neighborhood on Saturdaywandered down to Tower Bridge/Tower of London for the Women's Marathon on Sunday, that was good. I'll go and do the men's next weekend I reckon.
The pint I had afterwards with lunch was the only alcohol I had all weekend, I'd like to have not had it so I could have made a clean sweep of it.
Alt: Work and more work.
AltAlt: something about sex. And money.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:31,
Reply)
Hey healthy-boy. How come the no booze?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
Got hammered on Thursday nightstill felt bad on Saturday, then decided to do 3 dry days to give my liver a rest.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:39,
Reply)
Long live the new Poppet.Alt: Work, work.
Alt alt: Criminal mastermind cornered in secret volcano lair escapes. Whereabouts unknown.
(
Kroney, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:31,
Reply)
Have you seen him on BBC breakfast TV recently? Apparently he's now a 'motivational speaker'.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:40,
Reply)
...and also a professional fanny patter(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:42,
Reply)
Might make it worth watchingif he ends every programme by whispering "awooga" and patting Fiona Bruce on the fanny.
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:44, Reply)
Haven't bullied anyone who didn't deserve it.I'm not sure what this Windypig person is doing here, but he has a PLOT and I will find it OUT and then he will be ridiculed.
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:36, Reply)
She has a back like a plasterer's radio(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:38,
Reply)
No, I wouldn't take that title from Roota, she's the detective.I'm just suspicious of new people.
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:37, Reply)
Wow - reverse webcam action!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:41,
Reply)
What do you mean new? I've been like this for at least two or three weeks now.
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:45, Reply)
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:39, Reply)
Actually hang on, if two of my boyfriends have been foreign, how does that make me racist?No. I don't think that's it. I think it's just my natural suspicion of new people.
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:41, Reply)
I can't be racist because i love black cock!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:44,
Reply)
like thiswww.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2182158/Scientists-discover-new-species-blind-snake-Brazilian-river-stop-sniggering-back.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:51,
Reply)
The naturally occuring kindas opposed to the kind that has been bashed against the taps for twenty minutes
(, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 9:51, Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »