b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 1734647 | Search
This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

Weekend planz???????
Alt: Tell everyone about some grotesque manky thing you do with food like bacon-wrapped toast soldiers or something as gay and unpleasant as that.

Altalt: What's the best thing (apart from my dear old mum) you've done recently?
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:45, 166 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
I'm taking the mrs into London tomorrow and we're going to go and see a show. We don't know which one yet.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:46, Reply)
I can help you with this!
'Shows' are all, and I mean ALL, completely shit-awful.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:48, Reply)
On this we can agree completely

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:49, Reply)
I'd like to take your opinion on board, really I would
I like you, your fun to spend time with, everything about you wants to tell me that your opinions are the sort that I should listen to. It's just that every time I'm about to take the plunge and do it, I experience what can only be described as an near damascian epiphany, like the scales are falling from my eyes and I suddenly see just how much of a senile old bellend you are, and how much of a failure your life is in every, and I do mean every, respect.

So I don't take your opinions on board.

lots of love

xxx
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Oh. Right. OK.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:52, Reply)
I'm going to the London tomorrow!
www.marshallamps.com/artists/news/artist_news.asp?newsId=46
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Fancy a pint?

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:50, Reply)
He's going to be too busy watching Yngwie Malmsteen.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:52, Reply)
Let's hope they've got those swimming pool covers safely on.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:52, Reply)
I really wish there was a recording of that.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:53, Reply)
I'll watch him
but they can't make me like the man
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:54, Reply)
He's fucking dismal.
I really couldn't care a fig if you can play widdly solos at two million miles an hour - they sound shit.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:58, Reply)
The whole neo-classical thing is sort of interesting
but for about 20 seconds. Then you realise there's 15 albums worth of it...ALRIGHT YNGWIE...WE GET IT.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:00, Reply)
He's a knob, his records suck and he looks like a complete cunt.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:03, Reply)
Woah, why all the hostility Monce?
Did you have a shower this morning but it didn't take? I feel really grumpy if my shower didn't take.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:16, Reply)
I just don't like foreigners, Tee Aitsch.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:22, Reply)
To be fair, Yngwie doesn't do much for international relations
He is an insufferable twat
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:23, Reply)
I don't think I'm going to have time, sadly
We're cutting it a bit fine getting down there. Next time though, definitely.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:54, Reply)
You got it, big guy.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:55, Reply)
14 artists in 4hours?

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:09, Reply)
Yeah, it'll be interesting
but who cares. I love Paul Gilbert. And I'm hoping Slash might make an appearance.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:13, Reply)
is ed sheeran going to be there?
he's my guitar hero!
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:40, Reply)
Go and see the woman in black, very good and proper scarey

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:50, Reply)
Dawn French?
Keep up Nakers they've split up.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Poor Ainsley

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:52, Reply)
Awooga.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:53, Reply)
Surely that should be the other way round?

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:52, Reply)
I think you're doing sex wrong

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:53, Reply)
He does a lot of things wrong
sex really isn't one of the big issues here.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:54, Reply)
I think I liked that, I went to see it with school and the main memory afterwards was of pain and hearing loss

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:56, Reply)
there's some great street theatre on at the moment
watch out for the guys dressed as tramps fighting over kebab wrapper full of vomit and if you spot santa disguised with a trolley full of presents you can ask for one!
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:51, Reply)
I don;t really do anything manky with food
Although I do like messing around with strong flavours. For instance:
- Cheese, pesto and salami toasties
- Bit of cheddar with a drizzle of honey and a pinch of instant coffee
- Strawberry with balsamic vinegar and black pepper

Try it, or not. Up to you. What am I, your fucking mother?
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:48, Reply)
I do hope so, as I'm looking for a short-term* interest-free loan and you're usually OK to tap up.
If indeed you really are me ma.


*look in truth you won't get it back. Like the other ones.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:49, Reply)
how else would you do strawberries?

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:50, Reply)
1) Get some strawberries
2) slice
3) Insert in mouth
4) Repeat
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:53, Reply)
What do you do once you can no longer fit any more strawberries in?

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:54, Reply)
That's when the chewing starts
Remembering of course to swallow when the pieces are small enough
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Just thinking aloud here...
Would this work with other foods too?
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:56, Reply)
I'd say it's worth a try
Although be sure to consult manufacturers instructions beforehand
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:57, Reply)
Cool, thanks for the tips TH

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:03, Reply)
*fingers guns*

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:08, Reply)
can this also be done simultaneously with other orifaces?

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:05, Reply)
That's down to your own discretion
Just be safe
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:08, Reply)
WRONG

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:56, Reply)
WELL LOOK AT JAMIE McFUCKING OLIVER HERE

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:57, Reply)
God, that was horrible
Let's never fight again
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:58, Reply)
hold me

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:59, Reply)
fuck off coffee
you've ruined enough cakes, stay away from cheese
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:05, Reply)
Come on Glued, it's not coffee's fault

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:07, Reply)
Barnes food fair tomorrow which will be good
Can't remember my Sunday plans so I'll just say, your sister, in the dirt box with a candle stick
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Poodo

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:44, Reply)
A little while ago, BT moved their appalling corporate support desk from Chennai in India
to somewhere unspellable in Hungary. We were so full of hope that after all of our whinging we were going to get some decent service. But no, just a different type of shit.

I miss the days of the call centre in Sevenoaks. It was staffed by actual engineer types, rather than simple call loggers and a call would go something like "'Ello mate, site fucked, is it? Which one? Oh yeah, it's knackered. 'Ang on a minute. Yeah, can't reach it from 'ere, neiver. I'll send Tim out."

Not relevant, just having a whinge.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:52, Reply)
That's all you do these days. It's liked you've been dumped again

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:54, Reply)
I can't believe anyone would dump a fine young gentleman like Kroney.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:59, Reply)
I'm doing alright for myself, cheers.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:01, Reply)
wankinglolz

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:02, Reply)
Do you not think that in the striving for excellent customer service
companies seem to have forgotten that we just want something fixed, or we just want a cup of coffee, or a pair of shoes or whatever? I would trade all the "your calls are important to us" and the "customer is always right" bullshit for somebody competent who can just do what I need done with the mimimum of fuss. I don't even care if they fucking smile at me.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Somebody needs to go on a customer service course.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:04, Reply)
I can't think of anything worse.
That guy that sent Tim out has probably been removed from the phones because he didn't have the right customer-facing attitude or some shit. THat makes me sad. I liked him :(
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:06, Reply)
^^This^^
Don't go through your scripted spiel, don't try to 'upsell' me, don't 'make me aware of your wonderful new offers', just FIX THE FUCKING PROBLEM!
*Recent BT customer service line horror*
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:05, Reply)
For most people I would sympathise with poor helpline service
but in your case, I'm willing to bet that your attitude was more than likely the cause of any problems you experienced.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:08, Reply)
I expect he takes notes of everything they say in complete silence

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:09, Reply)
I suspect the first words out of his mouth after they said "Hello, how can I help?"
were along the lines of "LOOK THIS ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH NOW FIX IT OR I'LL RAPE YOUR DAUGHTERS AND LAUGH WHEN THEY KILL THEMSELVES IN SHAME AFTERWARDS!"
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:10, Reply)
I'm going to see Jon Gomm, Andy Mckee and Preston Reid tonight
Woo!
Tomorrow I may be doing domestic stuff like gardening and housework. Sunday I'm planning a mahoosive roast dinner.
Alt: My favourite sandwich is smoked turkey, ancona chilli sauce and nutella.
Altalt: Everything I do is great.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:56, Reply)
None at all
Alt: Ham, cheese and pickle toastie
Chicken and marmite sandwiches (has to be crap chicken)
Salami and pickle sandwiches.

Alt: Probably the day at the tank museum, that was excellent.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 9:59, Reply)
Um, when I'm eating fried eggs on toast, the yolks need to be at least a *little* runny.
The reason why is because I eat all the whites first, and then I break open the yolk, spread it over the toast, and then fold the toast in half, and eat it while the hot yolk drips out the end onto the plate.

I have *always* done this, since I was a little girl.

Um. I joined the gym.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:02, Reply)
well at least the yolk's not on you
:D
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:03, Reply)
I GET THIS JOKE!!!

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:05, Reply)
YOU MEAN YOLK?

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:06, Reply)
EGG-ZACKTLY!!!!!!!

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:10, Reply)
well egg-cited by this subthread

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:15, Reply)
YOUR FACE LOOK EGG-ZACKERY LIKE YOUR ASS!

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Classic joke, that one.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:18, Reply)
thank god for that.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:08, Reply)
Working Monters,
still freshers week, and the stupidest of them will now have figured out where the pubs are, so i assume it will be a busy one.
I worked briefly with a chap who had trained with Farran Adria, we created some wonderful things, Coca Cola Caviar, this weird freeze dried tomato and apricot thing, all sorts, was lovely.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:07, Reply)
Oh nice.
I saw a doc on him recently, fascinating guy and not the pompous prick he's every right to be.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:09, Reply)
yeah,
i put my name on the list for his restaurant, i think last time i checked i might get a table in about 4 years.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:10, Reply)
Mental innit

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:12, Reply)
his food is spectacular,
Heston can fuck right off.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:13, Reply)
My sister's husband's best man works for him at the Fat Duck,
by all accounts he's a nice employer but from what I've seen of him on the telly he's a bit of a dick.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:17, Reply)
fair enough,
Raymond Blanc told me he was a fucking cunt.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:20, Reply)
Now he comes across as a gent.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:24, Reply)
he's ace, him and his wife used to come in to a bar i ran in Oxford loads,
he's fucking hilarious, and his wife has lovely tis.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:27, Reply)
Tis?

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:29, Reply)
She has a pristine copy of Frank McCourts autobiography.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:37, Reply)
Like tits, only shorter

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:40, Reply)
tis was popular in the 70s

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:42, Reply)
*flings flan*

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:50, Reply)
I ate lunch at his brasserie in Oxford last year.
I am sorry to say it was really fucking mediocre.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:30, Reply)
it really is, it's no longer run by him, he just has his name on it,
and pops in now and then to show his face for some of the big investors. He doesn't cook anymore and that is a real shame.

My bar was across the road from that Brasserie.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:42, Reply)
I can't get on with apricots
Dried, fresh, anything...I've really tried to like them, but I just can't.
Does this make me an homesexual?
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:10, Reply)
well no, it means that the way your tastebuds developed as you were growing up,
mutated in to some sort of mouth wrong cunt.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:14, Reply)
:O

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:14, Reply)
Maybe you'll both need to accept your differing views and move on?

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:16, Reply)
We only deal in absolutes here on the internet.
Right and wrong.
Black and white.
And we must argue incessantly until one point of view or the other is proven to be correct, or until we get a bit bored and talk about something else.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:18, Reply)
No we don't
and here is a series of links to amateur flag enthusiast websites that also offer holiday caravans in Margate that proves my point unequivocally.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:21, Reply)
You can play spot the "mates" who won't be "mates" by the end of the month.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:19, Reply)
I got lumbered with a christian bloke at the Freshers Ball.
He turned out to be a tedious cunt.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:22, Reply)
Innit.
I didn't socialise with anyone from my university until after Christmas in my first year. By then the tossers had outed themselves - plus I had loads of chums living locally anyway so didn't need to hang around with a bunch of needy flids that I didn't know.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:23, Reply)
This exaplins a lot about you. It really does.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:24, Reply)
What does it explain, Al?
Or rather 'exaplin', as you would have it.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Well Monty, exaplin was possibly the wrong way of putting it. more that it clearly demonstrates character traits

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:34, Reply)
this is a great game,
there is always that wonderful group of people, that aren't the most confident, probably living on the same corridor, met on the first day, don't really like eachother, but are too timid to just ditch and find someone else to talk to.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:26, Reply)
Just got a text off Orange
offering me £100 off a Nikon D800.
Sounded good until I googled it - it costs £2200 and the lens is extra.
Pointless advert is pointless.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:08, Reply)
Not if you really liked Nikon D800 and had a lot of spare cash.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:09, Reply)
Not many of those about I shouldn't think
What next, £50 off a Ferrari?
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:13, Reply)
It's a 5% discount, without having to do anything at all.
So if you were in the market for a camera but were unsure which to plump for, if someone suddenly offered you 5% of one of the models, your decision is likely to be swayed in that direction.

Why do have such a hard time getting this?
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:14, Reply)
I'm sure a photography enthusiast would be quite prepared to spend over £2000 on a camera they liked.
Particularly if they were offered a discount.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:16, Reply)
I would suggest
someone spending £2k on a camera would already have made their mind up based on features, previous experience and so on. But would happily take an offered discount nonetheless.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:22, Reply)
I would suggest you know fuck all about anything and should therefore cunt the fuck off.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:22, Reply)
Earthy, but accurate.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:25, Reply)
Fuck off cave duck

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:31, Reply)
what?
Even by your usual standards that makes no sense whatsoever.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:35, Reply)
It does, you're just fick innit

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:40, Reply)
I'm sure it does in your world

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:42, Reply)
I'm going to Norwich,
looks like I won't get there until 9pm, fucking middle of nowhere shit hole
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:43, Reply)
You should meet up with Darth again

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:44, Reply)
I will, we're going to have a secret discussion about how we both WEALLY SHUUPER HATE AL

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:47, Reply)
It's actually your fault that he stopped being in supermegaflounce with me
after realising that you weren't actually a cunt, he decided that I probably wasn't either.

Bless him and his terrible reasoning skills.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:54, Reply)
You should post a picture of him applying this reasoning.
He'd like that.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:56, Reply)
He's even camper in real life by the way.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 11:01, Reply)
What? How are you travelling, horse and cart?

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:48, Reply)
To blend in

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:49, Reply)
I won't leave until 6, Coach to Cambridge, 20min walk, train to Norwich

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:50, Reply)
Is that really the quickest way of getting there?
Madness. You'd think you could just connect at King's Cross or somewhere.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:51, Reply)
I can go through euston then liverpool street
but it's 15 minutes quicker and £15 more expensive, so not worth it.
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:55, Reply)
You should drive, like an adult

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:53, Reply)
I'll get right on that NA, STRAIGHT AWAY

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:58, Reply)
Good idea, that way you'll be less of a public transport pleb

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:59, Reply)
One step closer to being like my hero, Naked Ape.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 11:04, Reply)
It's a long road, I'm sure you'll give hitting your best though

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 11:17, Reply)
Step two, lose my ability to write coherent sentences.

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 11:19, Reply)
Well you've just failed that test, LOSER

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 11:22, Reply)
Bottom

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:51, Reply)
+ fun

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:53, Reply)
Prizes to be won!

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:55, Reply)
*mullets*

(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 10:56, Reply)
Another winning contribution to /qotw from me.
www.b3ta.com/questions/claimstofame2/post1734879
(, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 11:10, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1