Traffic sucks arse.
And why do buses get lanes? Where the fuck do all these poor people need to be in a hurry?

Alt: I saw the Rolling Stones up close last night, they is well old. What sleb have you seen looking less than their best?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 8:16, 202 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Workshy bastards.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 8:21, Reply)

alright Stunned?
Pint tomorrow?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 8:25, Reply)

Yo.
Gaz me your mobile and I'll give you a shout. (Basically, if my Mrs doesn't object too much).
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 8:26, Reply)

what sort of time?
And which hotel are you staying in?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 8:34, Reply)

The Blue Bridge on Fishergate?
It was the only one that was less than £200 for a couple of nights.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 8:36, Reply)

I know where that is.
Not far from the walls. There is actually a decent Wetherspoons near there. Shocking, I know.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 8:41, Reply)

I saw Carol Vorderman outside The National Theatre last week.
As I said at the time, she looks like she is made from modelling clay and Humbrol #10 Paint (Service Brown).
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 8:32, Reply)

You still would though.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 8:33, Reply)

Well, yeah.
But I'd do The Queen just to be able to say I had, so that's no reflection on what she looks like.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 8:39, Reply)

I met Vorderman around 96/97 before she had all the work done
I had never particularly fancied her, but y'know, I would've.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 8:39, Reply)

You moan about the poor people getting bussed to places quicker
but if you arrived at work or back home to find that it hadn't been cleaned or the bins emptied or whatever, you'd kick off.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 8:33, Reply)

If my Greggs Hat hadn't been ironed there'd be bloody murder, bebbeh.
Anyway, that's what night buses are for. So these cunts can get to their next cleaning job.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 8:39, Reply)

I'm banned again, only from OT though.
I saw anneka rice a while back, she looks fucking ropey
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 8:39, Reply)

Please type quietly this morning. I have a hangover.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 8:41, Reply)

christ you're all pricks

(quintsy, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:07, Reply)

hahahaha yeah!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:08, Reply)

I have now got my phone set up the way I want it
and am bored with it. What new piece of technology should I get?
( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:11, Reply)

Tablet PC.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:12, Reply)

Nah, they're shit, I don't like them.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:14, Reply)

Nah' man, they rock, I love my one
You could all be like "Ploppsy plopsy ..... ...... pl..... plopsy...............grrrrr GRRRRR....*bite shirt collar*........splash......." whilst browsing websites at full screen.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:40, Reply)

Think nexus 7 tab is worth putting on my christmas list?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:10, Reply)

i dunno, something which tells you the correct lyrics to wheatus songs or something

(quintsy, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:13, Reply)

Sick burn dude.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:14, Reply)

anybody who gets Girls Aloud lyrics wrong is basically sub human in my book

(quintsy, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:16, Reply)

Good job they weren't girls aloud lyrics then isn't it.
Something kind of Ooo! Jumping on my Tooo Tooo!
( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:17, Reply)

dude, don't you mean Tutu?
Tooo Tooo doesn't even make any sense
(quintsy, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:18, Reply)

I'm gonna make you, make you love me
doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
promise you made, promise you made
doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:19, Reply)

you make me sick

(quintsy, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:20, Reply)

The blonde one made herself sick

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:22, Reply)

I'd make teh blonde one sick
if you know what I mean.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:26, Reply)

Mouldy old cock?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:27, Reply)

No, I'd finger her bum and then put it in her mouth.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:27, Reply)

she makes me sick too
those pictures of her with the black eye and all that 'OH WOE IS ME MY BOYFRIEND BEAT ME UP' bollocks, she's clearly as mental as a sack of ferrets and twice as piss fragrant
(quintsy, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:28, Reply)

Teasmaid

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:17, Reply)

I like your thinking.
I'm going to take this idea on board.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:17, Reply)

Can you get one with an in built toaster?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:18, Reply)

I don't know, but I like this idea.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:19, Reply)

Top of the range ones can POACH MOTHERFUCKIN' EGGS!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:19, Reply)

NO WAI!
George foreman missed a trick here
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:21, Reply)

What? How the fuck do you have a machine that can poach eggs on demand?
Do you have to crack the eggs into a small ramikin the night before?
( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:26, Reply)

No idea, guess so...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:28, Reply)

Yep
Just imagine!

Poached eggs on toast with coffee
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:28, Reply)

If only there was a way to make it bake you a fresh croissant

( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:31, Reply)

And a glass of cold white?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:32, Reply)

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/4423635/New-style-Teasmade-wakes-you-with-freshly-cooked-bacon.html
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:37, Reply)

I like the populol page, you thieving shits.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:26, Reply)

Hey, imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.
You should be proud.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:27, Reply)

oh I am al, I am.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:28, Reply)

well you weren't here to keep reposting so that other guy was like
wtf
(quintsy, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:28, Reply)

I had a rare "get to the Metro station at just the right time to get on" moment
Alt:
Various footballers pissed as cunts, my favourite of which was local Sunderland boy Lee Howey (whose brother Steve played for Newcastle), slurring all over the place and singing his song:

Lee Howey, Lee Howey, Lee Howey
My brother is a cunt

...at the top of his voice in the pub
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:30, Reply)

I decided to be lazy and get the tube this morning
I'd been sitting there a couple of minutes when they announced that the next H&C would be 10 minutes. If I'd known that at the start I'd have walked. TfL = TeufeL = devil.

Alt: I was at Gary Oldman's Birthday bash a few weeks ago, he looks dog-rough.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:34, Reply)

How did you end up at the Oldman's bash?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:37, Reply)

Ladder, rope and a false moustache

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:39, Reply)

Connections
I'm talking about Monty you div
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:39, Reply)

I didn't know that but I was leaning the conversation that way

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:43, Reply)

because he's an Old Man !!!!!
I get it now.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:48, Reply)

what? i mean seriously, what?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-20000954
(quintsy, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:39, Reply)

Nick Griffin is no better than Abu Hamza and should be treated with the same contempt

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:46, Reply)

Retarded man does something really retarded.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:46, Reply)

I do like the way the BNP hardly even need countering as they are so self destructive anyway

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:48, Reply)

"we'll go down there and show them some drama"
"oh I meant we'll have a peaceful protest with amateur dramatics"

what the actual? how old is this guy? is he still at school?
(quintsy, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:48, Reply)

He was sodomized a lot at school
and he is a closet homosexual.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:49, Reply)

Someone bummed his eye wonky

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:50, Reply)

that explains it all
i bet he even takes out his wonky eye and lets big black guys skull fuck him
(quintsy, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:50, Reply)

i am a bit dopey this morning
and read the article thinking it was talking about clegg. i was really surprised. then i realised who it was. not at all surprising, the prick.

it would have been much more newsworthy if it had been clegg.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:17, Reply)

There is a girl on jeremy kyle who's mum pushed her towards smack and prostertution.
But the girl's boyfriend said he woke up to his mum's mouth around his cock.

There's some proper wankbank going on for later
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:49, Reply)

wait, his mum was sucking him off, or her smack prostitute mum was sucking him off?

(quintsy, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:50, Reply)

No her mum wasn't a smack prozzie, she was a smack prozzie.
Her mum was a dirty ho who made her daughter a smack prozzie.

But I'm unsure as to whether it was the boyfriends mum who sucked him off or the smack prozzies mum who was doing the sucking.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:54, Reply)

that's the only bit that's confused me
he said his mum sucked him off, but she seems peripheral to the original story
(quintsy, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:55, Reply)

I'm sure her mum was a smack prozzy too.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:57, Reply)

that was the assumption i made, superfly just can't read between the lines

(quintsy, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:00, Reply)

The girlfriend's smack-tart mum was sucking him off.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:54, Reply)

I'm glad this has been clarified.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:56, Reply)

thanks, i feel better now
it wouldn't be very nice if there was incest at breakfast
(quintsy, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:56, Reply)

It's more of a lunchtime kind of thing.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:57, Reply)

it's a lot like Ginsters in that respect

(quintsy, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:58, Reply)

You're sick.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:59, Reply)

I've had ginsters for breakfast before
It's alright at the time, but it usually makes me feel a bit sick afterwards.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:59, Reply)

give incest a try and report back on whether that makes you feel sick too

(quintsy, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:01, Reply)

The marks'n'sparks by the hospital has a deli section, where they have things like fresh pasta and rotissory chickens, and they do this saussage roll right.
And this saussage roll, I swear man, I've never had anything like it. I don't really eat pastry, especially savory, but these saussage rolls are fucking amazing.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:06, Reply)

fucking hell gonz, there's proper porn online you know.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:53, Reply)

Especially since he's got a tablet pc.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:54, Reply)

You can get a flesh light attachment for them now
And specific porn so it looks like your actually having sex, Gonz could lose half of his virginity!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:58, Reply)

It would just grow back again.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:59, Reply)

Unlike your foreskin

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:01, Reply)

I'm not entirely sure why you think thats a diss.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:05, Reply)

I dont, just pointing it out

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:05, Reply)

That's the only thing you've managed to point out.
*starting the rumour that you have errection problems.*
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:09, Reply)

How does that work then?
You can just see either the small of someones back or a stomach? Does it pan up if you lift the tablet up and show you some tits?
( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Dunno the details soz
I guess you shake it to jizz or something
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:03, Reply)

The wikipedia page for Gonzo Pornography
contains several NSFW images that should alleviate your curiosity.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:12, Reply)

Oh man, technically, you could make it so as you pan the tablet around, it changes the viewpoint of the video so you're looking at different sections of the virtual body.
But then you run into problems with the attachment of the phsyical device; the tablet would be too heavy to hold one handed like that for an extended period of time. The new formfactor coming out next week, the "iPad Mini" would be better suited. Or I guess you could create some kind of one-handed case for the iPad itself. Naturally the second hand would hold the device itself. You've also got problems with Apple's move to Lightining connectors instead of the old 'Dock' connector - The conversion process with adaptors are not compatitble with all hardware; especially unofficall hardware and apple would never sancton such a device. Lighining development TOS requires lisance too, which would cause production issues.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:14, Reply)

You want those google glasses that Sergey Brin wears

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:28, Reply)

it's even named after him

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:01, Reply)

I don't know, Stunned.
But I was driving down the Atlantic highway the other day and I passed a faded sign by the side of the road.
( Kroney, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:57, Reply)

What did the sign say?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 9:59, Reply)

Was it concerning the approximate distance to an item of headgear?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:01, Reply)

They'd left it in the middle of a field, apparently
Seems careless
( Kroney, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:03, Reply)

I don't know what this is but I think you two are probably being shit, so stoppit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:10, Reply)

they are getting their groove on bebbeh
but the assumption that they are being shit is always a fair one
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:14, Reply)

Did you see a Greggs hat at the side of the road, bebbeh?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:20, Reply)

And why were you driving down the Atlantic Highway?
Were you looking for something?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:10, Reply)

For a love getaway?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:21, Reply)

There was another sign
That said "STAY AWAY FOOLS", because bakes rule. At the Gre-he-he-hegs Hat
( Kroney, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:25, Reply)

Are you sure it didn't say "STALE WAFERS"

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:31, Reply)

The poor people have to get to work on time so that rich people can make more money off of them.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:09, Reply)

Romney for Prime Minster!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:10, Reply)

I can't believe no one's asked me about my ginger beer yet.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:20, Reply)

How are you, you ginger beer?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:22, Reply)

I'm good, I made ginger beer last night.
It smells awesome* and I'm expecting it to come out at about 5-6% ABV

*Although it looks like a really bad smoothy at the moment
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:24, Reply)

Is it a one brew and then drink straight away dealy?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:27, Reply)

Nah it'll be brew for a week or so, then bottle for a couple of weeks.
I'm planning for it to be ready for my halloween party.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:30, Reply)

Where's my invite?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:31, Reply)

Hey Naked ape want to come to my house party. I've just moved to the Shetlands
I'll pick you up from the airport.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:32, Reply)

I'll dress as my favourite character from Street Fighter!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:33, Reply)

You can be E Honda

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:34, Reply)

Honda pants. Hahahahahaha.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 11:02, Reply)

Is this where we start a conversation about red-haired actresses who Al would like to finger?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:23, Reply)

Please don't.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:26, Reply)

Emma Stone

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:29, Reply)

She's on the list

( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:35, Reply)

ron weasely
ron howard
ronald mcdonald
(quintsy, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:42, Reply)

Dirtier than a Cornish tin miner's sock, all three of them

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:45, Reply)

Lol
twitter.com/HestonBlumental/status/258878962623717376/photo/1
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:26, Reply)

Snigger

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:29, Reply)

*chortle*

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:30, Reply)

Lol

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:39, Reply)

That is fucking brilliant

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:49, Reply)

The new P!nk album is quite good, haven't listened to her in ages.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:29, Reply)

This is not an attack on popular music, but Pink is really shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:31, Reply)

It sounds like an attack on popular music to me.
*shakes head sadly*
( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:35, Reply)

I was trying not to be a 'all pop music is shit' music bore
Pink is shit though, her singing voice is horrible
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:36, Reply)

*continues to shake head sadly*

( Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:41, Reply)

It's not though, she has an amazing vocal range.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:45, Reply)

So?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:48, Reply)

Are you being deliberately argumentative?
Maybe her range is good, I don't know, but her voice sounds horrible
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:51, Reply)

A piano has a huge range.
That doesn't mean it is releasing good records.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:52, Reply)

New thread please.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Oct 2012, 10:52, Reply)