Charity
Tis the season and all, but how much do you get involved in charity?

I never really go past the odd office collection or throwing change in buckets. Just gave some to some sort of save the children thing for this years office collection.

Alt. Worst job you've ever had.

I can honestly say Ive never had a job Ive hated. Though I did get into a relationship with a manager once that got a bit uncomfortable when it ended and I left...
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:13, 134 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Psst. There's a thread down there that hasn't run out of steam yet.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:15, Reply)

You sure?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:17, Reply)

is it stomping if the old thread is less than 100?
there should be a stomp rule.

i have an automatic salary deduction that goes to charity every month and i always put my change in the pot if it's less than £1 in a shop.

alt: dressing up as a fluffy animal for money
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:17, Reply)

I give all our old clothes and toys away to charity
and put in when work does stuff but I'd never put into a charity collector on the street or give via DD
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:19, Reply)

What do you have against direct debits?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:25, Reply)

Giving them to charities

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:40, Reply)

I don't know the rules!!
Won't happen again, guv.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:23, Reply)

You should peobably DYAAKY

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:25, Reply)

there was a food bank collection in waitrose the other day.
I gave them a tin of chickpeas
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:18, Reply)

Homeus

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:19, Reply)

No, I rent a flat.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:20, Reply)

Remember Harvest Festival at school?
The poor local old peoples home, bombarded with old tins of peaches and other such shit.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:24, Reply)

I love canned peaches.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:25, Reply)

Millions of peaches. peaches for me.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:32, Reply)

DAMN IT

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:34, Reply)

millions of them?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:33, Reply)

My pub quiz raises about £1000 every couple of months for various charities,
Got a big wall of thank you letters and certificates. Makes me feel I've done my bit and can be as rude as I like to the ones harrasing me in the street or at my front door.

I've only ever done pub work, and I enjoy it, worked with some proper cunts.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:20, Reply)

I've only had two proper jobs

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:20, Reply)

I was lying up their, i remembered
I did work experience in a library, for about 3 weeks. It was alright.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:24, Reply)

Ah! I forgot about that!
Annually I go home for a friend's pub quiz to raise money for a Cancer charity after his dad passed. Always raises a few hundred quid and is a jolly good laugh! Minus the dead Dad/cancer part.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:25, Reply)

I write mine.
Therefore I'm more charitable than you. So there.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:26, Reply)

IT'S NOT A CONTEST!!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:32, Reply)

so why do they report that "Children in need" beat last years total every time?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:34, Reply)

Or get b3ta to write it for you
KAPOWIE, RIGHT IN THE KISSER
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:43, Reply)

YEAH

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:08, Reply)

In other news I've just written a formal response to my consultation
It boiled down to "give me a job" and "outsource them, they're shit anyway"
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:21, Reply)

No one cares.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:25, Reply)

this^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:40, Reply)

I give to local charities mainly
but fuck help for heroes and shit like that, I blew my legs off and I get stuck with the NHS so why shouldn't they.

alt. I worked for my local secondary school. My boss was a bully and the kids there were utter cunts.
( Peej, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:23, Reply)

doing what?
Dinner lady?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:25, Reply)

worse

( Peej, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:28, Reply)

Alright Ian Huntley

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:41, Reply)

I really don't like Help for Heroes.
Not because of what they do, I think they probably do a lot of really good work, I just really hate the name.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:27, Reply)

They actually
divert funds away from the traditional forces charities and dont provide that much after care. Unlike the traditional ones. They get a vast amount of press coverage, they are in a sense the "Apple product" version of something like ABF a triumph of style over substance
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:40, Reply)

I can't believe they let flids in the army in the first place personally.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:40, Reply)

"Special" Air Service lols

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:48, Reply)

Has everyone seen this from the newsletter
badkidsjokes.tumblr.com/

There's some actual genius jokes in here.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:27, Reply)

Such as
Batman
Q.what did batman say to robin before they got in the car

A.get in the car
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:28, Reply)

I approve.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:28, Reply)

And:
John
John has 32 cookies he eats 28 of them what does he have


diabetes
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:29, Reply)

John B3th
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:29, Reply)

That is about the only good one.
Although the one "Your mum is so stupid she bought tickets to Xbox Live" raised a smile.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:29, Reply)

What about this
Immigrents

knock knock
whos there
immigrents
go away !
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:31, Reply)

LOL

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:35, Reply)

I’m A Curtain
Doctor Doctor I feel like im a curtain

Shut Up
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:36, Reply)

Duck
A duck walks into a bar. A man runs out because its unnatural to have a duck in a bar.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:32, Reply)

That was my favourite one

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:43, Reply)

Mine was:
WHAT DO YOU DO IF A DINOSAUR IS IN LOVE WITH YOU?


YOU HIDE
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:45, Reply)

YOUR SO UGLEY THAT MUDUSA TEARNED TO STONE
WHAT DO GET WHEN YOU CROSS A VAMPIRE HOMEWORK AND BRUSEL SPROUTS? DONT KNOW ITS PROBALELY SUPER DANGEROUS
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:47, Reply)

Crocodile
what do you call a crocodile with a big butt


A noob
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:34, Reply)

Leaning Tower of Pisa
when will the leaning tower of piza fall down?


i dunno
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:34, Reply)

I used to sort the homeless with food'n'stuff all the time until a series of bastards disillusioned me.
There was the bloke outside marks selling big issue who started asking me for full meals, "for my children, they are hungry", every time I went into marks.

And then there was the bloke who I gave a nandos card (with all 3 free-meal things on) who then asked for some money for a drink, and then went "what kind of drink can I get for £2?" and finished the conversation with "I guess I should say thanks".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:28, Reply)

I've been waxed to raise money for charity in the past
I've decided I'm never doing that again, as it's seriously fucking painful.

Alt: Did telesales for a month and half, I was fucking awful at it, and hated it. On the day they sacked me, the guy just looked at me and said "This isn't for you, is it?". I agreed, he wished me luck, and promised me that if I ever go into inbound customer service stuff, he'd give me a glowing reference.

I ignored him, went into a different industry, and I've been here nearly 6 years now.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:35, Reply)

Actually call centres were a fucking horrific place to work.
Orange was a good company, but Sky. Fuck me. I left that place with an offer of anti depressants from the doctor.

Managed by pricks who had no more clue than I did.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:45, Reply)

Alt: drug dealer about 20 years ago.
Terrible business. I didn't do it for long.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:37, Reply)

You didn't get a sniff of the profits

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:42, Reply)

they all went up in smoke

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:44, Reply)

Maybe someone Grassed him up?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:05, Reply)

I made a right hash of it.
Not exactly a whizz with numbers sadly. ETC
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:06, Reply)

You should have had a partner and made it
A Joint venture
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:07, Reply)

No need to reproach yourself

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:09, Reply)

I don't understand this subthread.
I feel a right Charlie.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:09, Reply)

You have to keep tabs on it to get it

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:12, Reply)

His plans were s(K)unk

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:15, Reply)

He only gave it a toke(n) effort

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:19, Reply)

Can't take it back now

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:23, Reply)

Shut up the pair of you before I smack you one

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:26, Reply)

He would like that you'll probably get his op(ium)s up

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:29, Reply)

I get very disillusioned with charities
a relative worked for a couple, got to see how much money goes on admin/management, not really the idea of "Charity" imo.
Still give to things like the RNLI and air ambulance, though.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:40, Reply)

RNLI is just about the richest charity with the largest reserves and one of the biggest spenders on admin in the country.
I don't actually agree that 'they spend on admin' is a good reason not to donate, but if you're going to do that then the RNLI isn't the best charity to make an exception for.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:45, Reply)

I work with a lot of charities
and with regard to the admin comment, what you have to remember is charities are essentially businesses they just have a different trading model... If you imagine that they are selling the myth of care (in the spiritual sense) when you donate you are "buying some spiritual wellbeing" then they start to make sense with regard to costs.
The larger a charity the exponentially the admin costs go up, they always need to get more "customers" which require more staff to maintain which then need more "customers" etc etc etc
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:48, Reply)

hah
www.guardian.co.uk/books/poll/2012/dec/04/bad-sex-award-2012-poll?fb=native
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:53, Reply)

lols
"He came, like a wubbering springboard".

wtf?

Also, why no entry for 50 shades of shite? would surely win by a mile?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 15:59, Reply)

HOT

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:03, Reply)

At least 70 people have now upvoted my daily mail comment.
More probably because I'm guessing a bunch of you downvoted it.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:14, Reply)

*looks shifty*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:14, Reply)

I upvoted it you cunt

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:26, Reply)

I counteracted your white knighting by downvoting it twice

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:30, Reply)

You bitch ass nigga

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:31, Reply)

FOOO-SURE

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:35, Reply)

YEsssssssssss
I was doing a Tim "come-on-tim" Henman airfist.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:30, Reply)

You have the 4th best post?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:31, Reply)

Nah it's somewhere in the top ten

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:33, Reply)

*comes on Tim*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:31, Reply)

lolzors
sphotos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/30968_564709070225217_3555074_n.jpg
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:32, Reply)

haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:34, Reply)

I sponsor a child
in order to assuage my liberal angst.

alt: Most of the ones that weren't teaching. I really don't deal well with boredom and repetition, thus all the offices and shops I've worked in felt like they were chipping away at my soul (although the bookshop was OKish...as long as I didn't have to stay there forever). I have had 23 jobs in total. This is my longest
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:36, Reply)

I own a goat

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:37, Reply)

OMG! That's awesome
PICTURES!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:39, Reply)

Oh wait, you didn't mean in your own garden did you? :(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:39, Reply)

You should try to be MOAR specific when asking Sporto for pics.
You never know what he may Gazz. you now.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 16:49, Reply)

oh...god...the horror!
I can never look in my gazbox again!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:01, Reply)

This is going well.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:11, Reply)

Gripping stuff. Gutted I missed all of this whilst I was busy.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:13, Reply)

If only Plummers were here

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:15, Reply)

My so called girlfriend is buying me beer stuff and getting it delivered to my flat next week
and I'm not allowed to open it until christmas. What a cow.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:14, Reply)

SOME GIRLFRIEND *SHE* TURNED OUT TO BE EH?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:15, Reply)

YEAH, it'll be like torture.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:16, Reply)

I saw some bollocks programme where for a stag do
these chaps went and brewed some beer which they then served at the wedding, it looked great. I want a microbrewery now.

Want to start one?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:18, Reply)

Yep, got a couple of grand for equipment?
I think a better idea is something like that place, where you can go and make your own beer for a fee with all the equipment. Rather than a microbrewery.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:25, Reply)

I wonder how quickly the gear would pay for itself.
I suppose you'd have to factor in a few duff batches before it became saleable.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:27, Reply)

I expected more horrific tales of bad jobs or bitching about those charity cunts that stop you on the street.
Perfectly good question if you ask me.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:40, Reply)

Not your fault at all, old boy.
This lot are dull wankers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:47, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1799888
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:39, Reply)

Alt: Litter picking at York races was the worst job I've had by a country mile.
Noon to midnight at the peak of a very hot summer, wearing a crappy suit and bow tie, pushing through hordes of drunk rowdy idiots, picking up shite for less than the minimum wage (this was before deducting "jobfinder fees" from temporary workers' wages became illegal.)

Never had an office job. Going by the way many of them are described on here I'd probably go postal after a week and try to gut my colleagues with a potato peeler.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:41, Reply)

Alright Gyppo

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:47, Reply)

alright Monty

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:47, Reply)

Alright woodside

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:49, Reply)

alright LiC

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:52, Reply)

Bored to fucking tears, me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:50, Reply)

I'm still in the office
trying to give the impression I'm taking my current VITAL TASK seriously.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:51, Reply)

Six minutes and I am OFFSKI
Been in since 8 with no break. Fucking staff - this cock emailed in sick saying he was suffering from 'sickness'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:52, Reply)

I'm going with
"I'll leave it running and check the timings tomorrow." Always a winner.

And I'm going to treat myself to a bottle of wine and a takeaway tonight, I reckon.

See ya!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:56, Reply)

Have fun

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:57, Reply)

*does dance*
That any better?
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:52, Reply)

You know what that's much better.
*plays spoons*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Dec 2012, 17:53, Reply)