Well, much as I love a good political debate
it's no fun without Al's childlike student politics so fuck it.

Let's talk SHIT.

How often do you eat in restaurants? Which kind do you favour? Perhaps your local area is sorely lacking in a cuisine you love (ie you don't have the good fortune to live in London)? What do you consider to be a fair price for the average dinner out? Do you always tip? If so, roughly what percentage? Are you fucking looking at me? How often would you say you masturbated? Is there a God? Why won't you just die?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:41, 124 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I love fish so I eat out YM.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:43, Reply)

I note a severe lack of commitment to your reply here.
Are you cheating on her? With me?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:45, Reply)

I was always told not to speak with my mouthful of kippery gash.
3/4/5 times a week. Chinky. Not really. 20 quid a head for ethnic grub. Yes. 10 percent. Hopefully not. Twice a day. No. I AM TRYING.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:48, Reply)

345 times a week?
No wonder you're such a fat cunt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:49, Reply)

or 346.
At least I am not a.....GYPPO.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:52, Reply)

IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:53, Reply)

Poo.
Not often enough. Ones that cater well for vegetarians. Luckily I love Indian cuisine. Dunno, not that bothered. Usually, unless the service was shit. Roughly ten percent. Yes. As often as she goes out. No. I will, one day.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:44, Reply)

I rarely eat in restaurants, but when I do, they tend to be Indian.
I was gutted when a local pub closed, as the food they did there was excellent.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:46, Reply)

I have never been to an Indian pub before.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:49, Reply)

They only do Cobra and Kingfisher
and if you try to rape the barrmaids they go MENTAL.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:50, Reply)

If they don't have to go to Singapore
for multiple organ transplants and then die sobbing apologetically into the arms of their mothers.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:53, Reply)

WHILST DEFRAUDING TOWER HAMLETS COUNCIL

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:54, Reply)

AND VOTING 48 TIMES!!!!!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:56, Reply)

I HEAR YA!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:57, Reply)

I'd probably still sleep with Helen Mirren if the opportunity arose
Pub tales, innit.
( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:48, Reply)

I'd have a quick go myself.
Before you though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:49, Reply)

Quick being the operative word.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:50, Reply)

Two pumps and the proverbial.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 13:50, Reply)

We'll put her in between us and call to her to see which way she goes.
I'll have a lump of meat in my pocket though, fair warning.
( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:03, Reply)

She'll think you're just pleased to see her

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:06, Reply)

I must be aiming my jokes badly today.
I thought that one was obvious.
( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:11, Reply)

Or everyone is shit.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:15, Reply)

I think you should try Kroney's Mum's lamb tagine.
Be careful you don't catch worms though.

*euphemismlols*
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:05, Reply)

She can catch my worm any day.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:06, Reply)

Between her teeth, I heard.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:06, Reply)

I'd weaponise her.
Know what I mean???
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:07, Reply)

i thought it was kroney's worm
wiggling around inside his mum's sloppy wet tagine?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:07, Reply)

Oh for fuck's sake, swipe.

( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:09, Reply)

it was the word sloppy, wasn't it?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:10, Reply)

You've got wet tagine written all over your face, Judy.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:12, Reply)

face firm deliciously pouting buttocks
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:13, Reply)

Hot.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:15, Reply)

Pouting buttocks makes me think of a sphincter doing a duck face.
I don't find that sexy.
( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:16, Reply)

and yet you love your mum's sloppy old tagine
weirdo
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:18, Reply)

But it's so moist and meaty.
Moist.
( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:21, Reply)

you spent too long in wales, boy-o

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:22, Reply)

It's better than having a load of Gregg's Goo over your buttocks.
I imagine.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:21, Reply)

bebbeh

( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:21, Reply)

OBJECTION

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:22, Reply)

Overruled.
You did the crime, now do the time.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:24, Reply)

i would
but i can't turn around to lick it off. my tongue isn't long enough.

unlike your forked one.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:27, Reply)

Lick it off?
WTF is wrong with you?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:35, Reply)

Hold on a minute.
You *have* met her, right?
( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:41, Reply)

Fat Northern bird, right?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:45, Reply)

That's the antilapse

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:18, Reply)

needs MOAR leftie hand wringing
- anything between 2-7 times a week - i will go anywhere, but favoured cuisine is usually greek or middle eastern. lebanese is GOOD - i live in kensington and work in the city, there's at least a hundred of anything within reach - are we including booze? if not and it's just with friends, £25-£50. £50-£100 with booze. anything if it's with clients - yes i always tip around 15% - no - never - yes, me - see previous, i am immortal.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:07, Reply)

EXCREMENT.
Not very
South Indian or Sushi
Not enough of the former
Varies according to quality, I'd pay £20 for a really good curry with all the trimmings
Depends on the level of service, happy endings frustratingly rare
See above but typically around 15% (20% for happy endings)
Yes, you're GORGEOUS
Not yet today, work bogs are out of order
The Cylons thought so and they mastered biomechanical organic lifeforms so they must have been on to something
It's not right for my idiom. I'll never "just" die. I'm going out in the most flamboyant way imaginable. Suggestions below.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:08, Reply)

set fire to your hair
poke a stick at a grizzly bear
eat medicine that's out of date
use your private parts as piranha bait
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:10, Reply)

Absolutely not, it's my best feature
Hard to find
This is the most attractive option
I'm starting to think you're not taking this entirely seriously
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:11, Reply)

have you really not seen it? best. video. EVER.
edit: here

www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJNR2EpS0jw

i fucking love the kidney guy. he is so dumb and happy. and the superglue dude, who can't move. haha.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:13, Reply)

YOU MISERABLE MINCER
where's my validation?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:26, Reply)

I liked it.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:34, Reply)

hoorah
i fucking love it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:42, Reply)

Ah yeah

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:46, Reply)

Inhale plenty of methane
and iron filings, then hold an acetylene torch to your mouth and strike a match.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:14, Reply)

Hello all!
Hope you all had a wonderful festive season and that.

Ive just been lumbered with a delightful Council Tax bill and another telling me I owe them for Housing Benefit for my unemployed stint earlier last year. JOY!! (Utter bastards).

I don't eat out often. There are a few nice Italians dotted about Manchester. A lot of it is all commercial.
I do love Australasia mind. Trying a menu of varying dishes.

I always tip. I even give taxi drivers a tip. It depends on the amount spent and wether the service was good.

I have friends who think Nando's is eating out... I despair.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:14, Reply)

Happy New year, chutney.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:19, Reply)

I live right next to the curry mile in Manchester
I should make more effort.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:22, Reply)

The chutney highway

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:23, Reply)

I went to one on Oxford Rd once where you could smoke chillums in there and they'd clean them afterwards.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:24, Reply)

sang am is the best one
that sizzling fish tikka they do would make mother teresa cream her pants.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:28, Reply)

Nandos is eating out.
It's shit, but it's still eating out. Fuck, McDonalds is eating out, technically.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:42, Reply)

Thanks for thread designed to annoy me.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:21, Reply)

WP everything is annoying you today

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:23, Reply)

yeah.
but I hate restaurant chat. I ran restaurants for 2 years and everyone has an opinion and thinks they are giving helpful suggestions and knows best.

yeah, I need to cheer up.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:27, Reply)

working in a restaurant would be at the top of my list of jobs
I wouldn't want
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:29, Reply)

Self inflicted injury, Piggers.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:23, Reply)

You're being a right old grump today.
Pull your fucking socks up, man.
( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:25, Reply)

yeah.
not having a good day.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:29, Reply)

That's a shit thread, Monty.
I expected better from you. Where's the solidarity for your fallen comrade?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:31, Reply)

Poor battered.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:35, Reply)

hey b3th
I didn't get out of bed yesterday, I don't know how you do it everyday!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:36, Reply)

Opiates.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:37, Reply)

Idleness.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:37, Reply)

She has the TV alarm set for when Home and Away used to start
but has lost the instructions and can't remember how to change it.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:39, Reply)

very rarely. I love chinese food! Massively lacking in chinese food here in geelong.
I think a fair price is about 30 bucks if you're on your own. I always tip about 3 or 4 dollars if I can. YES I FUCKING AM LOOKING AT YOU, YOU DRUGGY FUCKER. Not as often as I'd like. No. Because I"m here to spite you.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:33, Reply)

Eating in Sydney and Melbourne was some of the most expensive dining I have ever done.
Also, some of the best.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:37, Reply)

I am reading this as you wanting to look at Monty more often.
You sick fuck.
( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:37, Reply)

I'm a good-looking chap.
Who could blame her?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:39, Reply)

Society.

( Kroney, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:44, Reply)

About once a week
Usually Indian, but I'll have pub grub if I can't be arsed with anything else.
No, I'm good thanks.
£20-£30 per person.
Almost always, depending on service.
Around 10%, usually enough to make it a nice round number.
No, I'm looking at my screen. That mysterious staring face is YOUR REFLECTION.
Not often enough.
Probably not.
Patience is a virtue.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:45, Reply)

Once or twice a week.
I favour a variety. Italian most often. I have the good fortune not to live in London, so local high quality restaurants are neither overpriced nor entirely populated by wankers. Anywhere between a tenner and £100 a head, depending on where I'm eating. If the service is acceptable, about 10%, more if it is exceptional. Yes, I am looking at you, and that's why I'm masturbating. No. Just to spite you.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:46, Reply)

"entirely populated by wankers"?
Pfft. At least most of the patrons in London can use a knife and fork.

Peasant.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)

Yes. Especially in chinese restaurants, I find.
Entirely maybe harsh. Partially would be too polite for most places, though.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 3 Jan 2013, 15:06, Reply)