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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Moving onNick Clegg is doing a phone in now, what would you ring up and ask him?
Alt: Nearly lunch time, write what you're having in a text file ready for copying and pasting in the inevitable lunch thread.
(, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 10:55, 122 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
I would ask him why he looks like such a smarmy cunt that it makes me want to punch his face in from here.(, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 10:56, Reply)
I guess smarmy and dreamy are pretty similar(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 10:59,
Reply)
I would reenact the classic 'Five Star phone-in' scene.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 10:58,
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Damn you, that was going to be my answer.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 10:59,
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And mine.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:00,
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I remember that!I also remember that awful Scratchy & Co. with Mark "Murder Suicide" Speight when some kid phoned in and said "Your programmes shit and you're not funny"
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Peej, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:19,
Reply)
if he really is a Paul Young lookalike on the sideAlt- providing a cheeseboard at work as it's my birthday.
(, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 10:58, Reply)
I'd ask him why he's on the phone when he should be fixing the economy and gun crime!!(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:00,
Reply)
All the gun criminals are too busy listening to this political thearter to be out shooting.(, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:02, Reply)
I heard when he and dave can't agree on a policy they wrestle(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:02,
Reply)
The same as a lot of people I would guesssomething like " how does it feel to have completely fucked up your entire political career by getting into bed with the Tories and throwing all of your principles down the toilet"
or " where you aware when you started the colilition that you would basically become the figure of hate for both of the other sides with one lot accusing you of stopping the tories doing what they wanted and the other accusing you of throwing away all of your 'easy to say when there is no hope of power' principles"
(, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:02, Reply)
I'd pretend to be the queen and ask him loads of intimate questionsthen he might go and kill himself
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:03,
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"Are you going to change all your policies in order to form a coalition with Labour to stay in power, then go against most of them again?"(, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:03, Reply)
I'd ask him nothing, I've already found out he owns a green onesie, I need no further information from him. Can you please escort him from the premises and we shall never speak of this again.Alt: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1I1fiMLVkBYo6SVGkl-eARb-eagMr_zun4TeAjCVsFjU/edit
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Theoban What of it, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:04,
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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UnHqsHONV4BODub6XSdGWqaLJCGbQq1p-e64B-n2jck/edit
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:43,
Reply)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1n2v2MRwPS4iOneAXB0LP3_EPxKj-p6yDUnFuuoMQMLQ/edit
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:10,
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a spreadsheet would have been better(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:12,
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You'd think PsychoChomp would know that already but noooo, text document says he, text document he gets(
Theoban What of it, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:12,
Reply)
There's an awful lot of people who wouldn't know how to correctly use the spreadsheet.(, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:13, Reply)
I ain't no spreadsheet whizz but if you set up a table already with some extra spacesWith NAME and FOOD columns, you can't go wrong right?
Then you could add them all together and oh wait no that's wrong, I dunno what a spreadsheet is, sorry
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Theoban What of it, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:14,
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I think you'd want an =IF(B1="breadless sandwich", "bent") in there(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:28,
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Seriously man you must work in a petrol stationI bet it's on the A1 and you've got a van out front that does tea and bacon butties too
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Theoban What of it, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:12,
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'does this Pringles tube smell a bit poo-ey to you?'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:07,
Reply)
'Can you fix the search function on b3ta.com?'(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:13,
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I'd ask him if he knows his last name rhymes with eggAnd does he mind being called Nick Egg
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Theoban What of it, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:13,
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Make it in the style of Titli Nihaan's mental videos and I'll watch it and buy your calendar(
Theoban What of it, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:33,
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All I know is that you cannot make one without seriously injuring Nick Cleggs.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:31,
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"You can't make an omelette without ruthlessly crushing dozens of eggs beneath your steel boot and then publicly disemboweling the chickens that laid them as a warning to others."
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:46,
Reply)
I would ask him why he is doing a London phone in when he is a Sheffield MP?(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:15,
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Because people in Sheffield call the phone the 'devil voice box' and burn them regularly as witches(
Theoban What of it, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:34,
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What's it like living without a spine?Alt: Might have a KFC after this - www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/foodanddrinknews/9787462/KFC-animal-rights-campaigner-abandons-protest-after-being-pelted-with-chicken-wings.html
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:16,
Reply)
Hahaha ha.Protesting isn't meant to be easy you pussy.
Also PETA are a bunch of fucking cunts.
(, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:19, Reply)
Very trueI think the assault may have been a step too far, but the chicken throwing cracks me up.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:29,
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I had no idea people loved kfc so muchalso, for £600 that suit better have correctly positioned orifaces and a wipe clean internal surface
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:31,
Reply)
Fucking pansy public schoolboy bleeding heart liberals"Mr Tyler, from Westwood, Wilts., was given money from relatives after doing well in his GCSEs and used it to buy a £600 chicken suit, which was handmade in Paris."
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Kroney, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:37,
Reply)
I can't believe that your thoughts went that farHe's a 16 year old boy protesting about chicken cruelty. He's a fucking twat and deserving of everything he gets.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 12:10,
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ActuaLOLA 16 year old should be experimenting with drink, drugs and sex.
Not dressing up like a chicken outside a drive through.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:43,
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I doubt he's ever spoken to a girl, let alone done anything with one.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:44,
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I have decided that its ok to be cruel to chickens.I mean fuck it, they're only chickens.
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Peej, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 12:11,
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At the next PMQ’s could you stand up, and in a Papa Lazarou voice, say “Your mine now Dave” please? Thank you.
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Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:23,
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No, you bloody idiot, He's given it to Dave.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:30,
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I would ask him some basic questions that don't appear on the curriculum to see whether toffs really do get spoon fed exam answers then I would ask him for the truth about when he fire to the leading collection of cacti in Germany. I smell a conspiracy. Did he cause 9/11? Possibly.
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Peej, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:29,
Reply)
"My Dad says you used to be a politician, is that true?"(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:30,
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I'd ask him if he's ever tried to stick his own penis up his arse, or if he's happy enough having Dave's cock.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:32,
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'Can I have my username back?'(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:35,
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"As a man who inspired FUCKING STUDENTS to get off their arses, what tips can you give to the parents of teenagers?"(, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:35, Reply)
It looks as though it is going well for him:news.sky.com/story/1036006/nick-clegg-is-blasted-by-lib-dem-voter
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:38,
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I'd ask him how it feels to have almost single handedly wiped out his party from British politicsand whether he believes the huge amount of lib dem voters that will switch parties next election will become tory or labour voters.
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Peej, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:45,
Reply)
He'll lose some seats, but it's not as bad as the polls say.Any place where the tories are in second place the libdems and labour will tactically vote to keep the tories out.
(, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:49, Reply)
Yeah those tactical votes to keep the tories out certainly worked well last time.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:49,
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I expect a lot of lib dem voters will be voting labourand I expect the lib dems to lose a lot of seats. I also expect Clegg to resign after the next election. But I guess we will find out in 2015. Personally I don't care what happens as long as I get my hoverboard.
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Peej, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:52,
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I'd ask him why this thread is limping along so lamely.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:49,
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He can't fix the economy, he can't reign in the Tories, he can't get re-elected (probably)But he CAN fix this thread
CLEGG, a hero for our times
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Theoban What of it, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:50,
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In what sense was he not elected?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:51,
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That Gordon Brown wasn't elected either! Except by his constituents and then his party but I didn't vote for him damn it and he sold all my gold to cash4gold!(
Peej, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:56,
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Yeah soz, I just mean he'll get chucked out as an MP, not as deputy PMI reckon anyway
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Theoban What of it, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:58,
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I just meant he's desperately unpopularI hadn't looked into any numbers
I apologise for everything
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Theoban What of it, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 12:03,
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YEAH YOU BETTER FUCKING HAD!btw do you play starcraft2? want to have a game?
(, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 12:04, Reply)
I have played StarCraft II, but I haven't done much with itI have a 100% win streak so far. I've played one game
But sure, do I have you on there?
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Theoban What of it, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 12:22,
Reply)
Right don't make flippant remarks about politicians on offtopicGotcha
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Theoban What of it, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 12:02,
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Chompy gets very upset.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 12:11,
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You don't really understand how voting works in this country.Nick Clegg was elected, as was Gordon Brown. The people don't elect PMs.
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Kroney, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 12:03,
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The people didn't vote for a coalition directly eitherthey just got one by default due to the result and some power politics by one N.Clegg.
(, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 12:06, Reply)
They voted for the MPs in their constituencies.We don't vote for which party wins the Parliament. That is not what our votes are for. That is decided by mathematics. The fact that a coalition happened is down to maths.
What I'm saying here is it's nothing to do with us. We vote for our local MPs. That's it. Saying that anyone is unelected or whatever is as inaccurate as it is nonsensical.
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Kroney, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 12:09,
Reply)
So people vote for the personality of the MP and not the party they represent?and the bad mid term council election results for any councillor in the same party as the government are down to their bad personalities?
(, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 12:14, Reply)
OK, so what happens is a bunch of candidates stand for election where you live.You vote for them based on their policies. Depending on how many votes they get, somebody wins. We say they've won a "seat". The amount of "seats" across the country are counted. If one party gets the most "seats" (there's one "seat" per physical seat in Parliament, you see) by a particular margin, then they've got a "majority" in Parliament. The head of that party, who's elected by the party members, gets to be PM. That's elected by the party members, not you. He gets to be in Parliament because he also has won a "seat" in his "constituency".
If one party doesn't win enough "seats" to win a "majority", they have to form a "coalition". This is usually done with the party that's come third in the "seat" race.
And that is how it works. If anybody votes for any reason other than the above, such as personalities, they are an idiot. If they vote for a party based on who the leader is, who's probably based in a constituency miles and miles away from them, they're a full-blown fuckwit.
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Kroney, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 12:19,
Reply)
"there's one seat per physical seat in Parliament, you see"that's not true. They're benches.
(, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 12:21, Reply)
Sorry, one "seat" per metaphorical seat in Parliament.Perhaps I should have said "arse-space".
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Kroney, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 12:22,
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How did that work for Cyril Smith?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 12:24,
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Your reasoning is flawlessunfortunately one of the drawbacks of democracy is that fuckwits can vote too.
(, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 12:25, Reply)
Which is why I advocate an enlightened oligarchy based on restricted power of vote.Power to vote would be granted by an examination which would include, but not be limited to, testing you to make sure you actually know what it is you're voting for.
Many, many people wouldn't bother to sit the test.
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Kroney, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 12:28,
Reply)
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