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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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so, I've been wondering about you lot, and how you came to be in such a place,
Most of you seem to have lives away from here, kids, and families and girlfriends and home brew kits and epilepsy and all these things, and seem fairly settled (there are of course exceotions), so I'd have thought it would be you that all slowly disappeared, and yet we have lost the shut ins and nutters. There are some great stories about old bashes and bertdowns and crazy bou. But where did they go?
Why is there no new ones?
What is the glue that holds us all together?
What do you think of the person posting above you?
Shall we give darth a hug he seems a little sad?
You.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:07, 270 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Love you WP xx

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:09, Reply)
awwww,you're a sweety.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:11, Reply)
NEAR THE TOP!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:49, Reply)
good work.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:12, Reply)
If it helps I don't have a life away from here, or a family, girlfriend, homebrew kit or epilepsy
All I have is my ART

I dunno how people found this site in the first place, what's missing that drew in the mentals before?

I don't like the person above me, they smell of old cheese (so I'm told)

Yeah
Hello

Me.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:11, Reply)
But there's shouty nice girl or
Nice bum girl to look forwards to
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:13, Reply)
But they're just people I see
I would never actually talk to them
Apart from 'I'll have this food please' and then giving them money later
God I'm so alone
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:15, Reply)
your art means more to us than you could ever believe.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:15, Reply)
I showed the one from Monday to some people at work
'why does the pope look like a bowling pin?'

philestines
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:15, Reply)
I have friends who didn't get it either,
They have been removed from my life.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:18, Reply)
my art is the best art
just sayin
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:19, Reply)
his art is the best art

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:20, Reply)
I might do some more art
or I might say fuck the internet and crank up the Marshall and stratocast til my ears bleed

probably the latter, fuck you all
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:24, Reply)
I think people are just here for the
(◉‿◉)
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:11, Reply)
It's all about the..
..(◉‿◉) brah.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:12, Reply)
I hear ya, dawg

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:14, Reply)



.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:17, Reply)
Maybe it's the cliquiness that puts new people off posting.
And that sarcasm and other ironies don't translate well on the net.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:12, Reply)
alright Vag,

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:14, Reply)
^^Sarcasm ^^

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:16, Reply)
I don't understand, I've never felt part of a 'clique' on here
I just say things until people ignore me
Which doesn't take long
Hello
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:16, Reply)

2(◉‿◉).0
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:17, Reply)
also,
I'm new to off topic and slotted in alright, maybe it is not the people here that is the problem at all.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:17, Reply)
^^ Ironies ^^

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:19, Reply)
people have moaned to me about the layout
but I don't understand that either, seems fairly simple to me? I dunno, maybe we have special eyes on here like this:
(◉‿◉)
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:20, Reply)
I like the layout.
I tried reddit and it made my face bleed.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:22, Reply)
Accusations of cliquishness usually come from unlikeable people.
Sure there are a few people on here who are good friends IRL but they are not some inpenetrable clique.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:20, Reply)
everyone has been lovely,
Not enough tit gazzes for a real 10/10, but you guys get a strong 9.5 from me.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:23, Reply)
This is all the endorsement that this pathetic little corner of the internet needs right here.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:25, Reply)
We all talk about you behind your back. We just pretend to like you.
You fucking yoghurty tofu-muncher.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:23, Reply)
Yeah, but that doesn't render this place unusable due to excessive cliquishness.
And I quite like being talked about.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:27, Reply)
you need to give it time to get to know what's going on
if you join a TV series half way through you can't expect to understand all of the characters and story lines immediately
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:27, Reply)
Used to be /talkers banging on about cliqueyness over here etc
I don't think any of you had any issues once you started posting. Unless they acted like a prick, of course.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:22, Reply)
And the less said about that Alan, the better.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:22, Reply)
This is rather heavy going on a hangover, Winders
Is it alright if I just muck about and post smileys instead?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:13, Reply)
hey man, go for it, I'm not some sort of thread Nazi, go wild.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:15, Reply)
Cheers, Windy
(◉‿◉)
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:19, Reply)
I've got a parrot

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:15, Reply)

(◉‿◉)
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:15, Reply)
and a long history of mental illness.
Don't forget that.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:17, Reply)
the two go hand in hand

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:18, Reply)
did you ever have electro shock like that bird from Homeland?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:19, Reply)
see, ECT makes for good telly
but in real life they don't give it to anyone under 70

so no, I did not
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:21, Reply)
is this one of those things where when you say parrot, you actually are talking about your therapist?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:21, Reply)
he's way better than a therapist
therapists talk through you and say shit like you're appointment's over or what were we discussing last week or please put the knife down
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:23, Reply)
I first came here after the site was referenced in popular lads mag FHM, thy "linked" to the original wanking QOTW
i joined many years later cos my job was boring.

I dunno where the crazies are, i guess most things become more respectable with time.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:19, Reply)
tl;dr

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:22, Reply)
better?
(◉‿◉)
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:30, Reply)

(◉‿◉)
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:32, Reply)
I was reading the real Bertdown in ABs fail archive last night.
I remember those days with great fondness.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:19, Reply)
there is some great stuff in there

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:20, Reply)
I hope I never make a heading.
I had forgotten that I had added to the Bertdown.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:22, Reply)
I'm well overdue an update.
You're headed straight for the 'dirty old men' category.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:38, Reply)
AB's fail archive is a thing of wonder.
I like autisto-trousers and Enzyme defending incest.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:22, Reply)
Nowt wrong with a bit of incest.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:23, Reply)
That's pretty much an accurate summation of Enzyme's position.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:23, Reply)
Fancy that, Bartleby pining for things more innocent.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:23, Reply)
Has Darths hot missus ditched him
If not then fuck him, he doesn't need cheering up.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:22, Reply)
Ah, the "there's always someone worse off" principle
It's nice experiencing it from this side of the fence, cheers PJ
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:23, Reply)
What was that thing on facebook the other day?
I think it may have been Wilf who linked it there (but I could be wrong; I know a fuckton of headwrongs)

Telling someone not to be sad because someone has it worse is like telling someone not to be happy because someone has it better.

....or some such nonsense.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:29, Reply)
Whoever it was they sound like a right prick.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:33, Reply)
Wilf then.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:34, Reply)
You got your cheering up yesterday, you greedy cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:24, Reply)
oh PJ,
just tell her your sorry and do the elephant trunk willy thing and she'll fall back in to your arms.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:25, Reply)
I find that if you balance a pair of sunglasses on your willy
and pretend that it's talking, that neutralises most arguments.

Top relationship tip there, from /OT's expert in women.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:30, Reply)
works for me.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:35, Reply)
if it's a really bad arguement you can draw an eye on each testicle and do a handstand while singing the theme tune to The Racoons

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:18, Reply)
Is this a "for ever" ditch or just a "fuck off for a bit" ditch?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:25, Reply)
Come to think of it, who was the last person to join /OT
and not leave shortly thereafter in a deluge of abuse?

The Luggage? Am not counting sockpuppets.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:22, Reply)
a few have stuck their noses in...purple doris most recently

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:24, Reply)
I am still here
I just don't post very often.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:03, Reply)
Alright.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:25, Reply)
Alright AB
Tell us a little-known tale of fail
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:31, Reply)
As he's posting here...
...a tale of self-importance.

b3ta.com/questions/professions/post737212
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:43, Reply)
Nicely done
*applauds politely*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:48, Reply)
The Luggage thing is confusing.
We all know that he's Piston, but Piston's back.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:27, Reply)
I'm not up to date with current events
I didn't know The Luggage was Piston, or if he's still around, or that Piston's back.

He can't be surely, The Luggage was a nice bloke.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:29, Reply)
deffo pistons

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:29, Reply)
He was properly outed a couple of weeks ago.
It was tragically hilarious.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:30, Reply)
Oh man...
I was nice to him and everything

*grabs wire wool, heads for shower*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:30, Reply)
Rory and Woodside outed him.
Trago-funny.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:30, Reply)
I think the new Piston account was created to take the heat off The Luggage.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:30, Reply)
Are they BOTH virgins?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:30, Reply)
Yes

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:31, Reply)
Well there's a solution to that

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:34, Reply)
Oh man, all these layers of intrigue.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:31, Reply)
I'm sure there is a sensible explanation,
I mean if they work in the same office and share intimate details of each other's lives all the time
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:40, Reply)

Keep Calm

and


(◉‿◉)
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:24, Reply)
The person above me is a bent spastic.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:25, Reply)
Everyones above you, shorty

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:27, Reply)

(◉‿◉)
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:28, Reply)
Oh REALLY?!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:28, Reply)
roflcopters

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:29, Reply)
Hahahahahaa

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:32, Reply)
You fucking bitch!
hahahahahahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:41, Reply)
srsly
I dunno why Battered hates (◉‿◉) so much. Poor little (◉‿◉).
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:24, Reply)
Smaller and cuter than him
Pet envy.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:29, Reply)
Truth

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:30, Reply)
I came to b3ta on the recommendation of DJTP
who linked a sister up to the /board side of things. Then I moved to /Off Topic and edged him out.

I think everyone would prefer it if I left and he came back.

I am inordinately fond of the person posting above me :-)

EDIT: to clarify, I am not inordinately fond of Dozer. When I started typing, Foxtrot was at the bottom of the board.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:25, Reply)
Fuck knows why, and you have a fucking funny way of showing it.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:26, Reply)
Wind your neck in, Dorothy.
I wasn't talking about you x
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:27, Reply)
down there v

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:27, Reply)
lol
bitch fight!

I can't wait for the hair pulling.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:28, Reply)
She'd just sit on me to win.
Not fair.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:29, Reply)
I'd fucking flatten you

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:31, Reply)
you don't look that big in your fb photo

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:35, Reply)
She isn't at all.
Dozer's just being a meany.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:37, Reply)
I have no idea what she looks like.
I'm sure she's lovely though.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:38, Reply)
^THIS PERSON IS RIGHT
And, as I've always said, a man of discerning taste.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:38, Reply)
:'(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:27, Reply)
i luvs ya hunny bunny

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:29, Reply)
I love you too, Nakers.
Now eat your crayon and shush.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:32, Reply)
Right back at ya darling
xxx
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:30, Reply)
I love everyone on here like a sister, in the bert way
I think escape from the office/job is why most are on here.
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:27, Reply)
You're alright you are Winders
If ever I'm in Oxford, I shall patronise your pub.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:32, Reply)

r pub

\Monty
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:33, Reply)
whose a clever little pub?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:34, Reply)
I know a guy who does your ballroom dancing thing, I could set you two up.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:35, Reply)
Fit?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:35, Reply)
he's always very well turned out, shiny shoes,normally a 3 piece suit, happy to get a round in.
Has a full head of hair and a full complement of teeth.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:38, Reply)
Oh yeah, I know him

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:39, Reply)
you what?
That would be worrying if you did, although I suppose ballroom dancing can't be a huge community, and Oxford is a small town.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:43, Reply)
In all honesty I might know him by sight
Although I was being sarky above. You're right about the community size, I always see the same people at comps.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:47, Reply)
went to Cambridge, very posh accent, little bit of a sex pest, vintage suits only,
He stands out, I suppose. Always in a bow tie as far as I can tell.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:55, Reply)
If he danced for the Cambridge Uni team I would definitely know him by sight
and would probably have called him a cunt under my breath at some point
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:59, Reply)
I'll tell him you say hi then.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:08, Reply)
Please do
but make sure he knows I'm taken
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:14, Reply)
EVERYONE MAKE THE MOST OF BATTERED
Cos he's about to get stepped innit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:35, Reply)
Why how what?
His next stepping will be a permaban, won't it?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:36, Reply)
If he gets stepped again he's in for a perma-ban
so goes the rumour.
(◉‿◉)
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:36, Reply)
what for?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:37, Reply)
why is my little man going to get stepped?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:38, Reply)
My logic is as follows;
1) He's been stepped for multiple/fake accounts in the past
2) There are now two "Battered"-based accounts on OT
3) The Mods fucking hate him
4) I'm bored
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:39, Reply)
three

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:40, Reply)
Scaryduck does seem to have a real hard-on for Battered.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:40, Reply)
He really does.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:43, Reply)
Yeah, but the Battered's Mum acount is Nakers
And nothing to do with the runty little brain spastic.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:40, Reply)
You do realise that Battered's Mum is Nakers, right?
Although battered famously does have multiple accounts...
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:41, Reply)
Unlike me.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:41, Reply)
I do know that
I'm speculating that the Mods are looking for an excuse to fuck him up five ways from Tuesday

speculat hop
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:42, Reply)
+p

(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:43, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post1862298
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:42, Reply)
Terrible bullying of my spare account 4EVAINMIHART :'(

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:42, Reply)
what l are you missing anyway?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:43, Reply)
If you Iook cIoseIy one of the Is in tangIedupinbIue is actuaIIy an upper case i
As are aII the Is in this post
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:50, Reply)
If you look closely, the banjolele is actually quite large, but far away.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:57, Reply)
Did you get a reason for that beyond spare accounts are frowned on?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:43, Reply)
Only this:
www.b3ta.com/questions/thenaughtystep/post1858904
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:49, Reply)
blimey.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:50, Reply)
Stop what?
What were you doing?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:59, Reply)
Good question.
If I knew I might stop it.
Might.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:10, Reply)
We need to set up a campaign to save him.
It will be called the "Just save Battered" campaign.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:44, Reply)
I really think we need some reasons though
I mean, anyone who knows him will need incentivising to get behind that.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:46, Reply)
Terrible bullying of me here today.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:47, Reply)
Today?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:49, Reply)
If the least of us fall, we will all fall.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:47, Reply)
Anything to raise your public approval rating, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:48, Reply)
How's campaigning in favour of Battered going to achieve that?

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:49, Reply)
People will assume that anything pro-Battered is sarcastic
We like sarcasm round these parts
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:50, Reply)
Your words cut me deeply AB.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:50, Reply)
I didn't know I had one.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:49, Reply)
I really don't want a nonce as my campaign manager.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:49, Reply)
They've all gone to mumsnet.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:42, Reply)
I occasionally read the "Am I Being Unreasonable" pages.
They are very amusing at times.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:43, Reply)
I do too.
There are some proper mentals there.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:45, Reply)
is mumsnet really that bad?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:44, Reply)
Yes

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:47, Reply)
It's full of hormonal women.
Isn't that reason enough to hate it?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:47, Reply)
exactly, you're only hormonal when you're blobbing

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:48, Reply)
Good point actually
Have any of the b3ta girls got kids?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:49, Reply)
CHCB and Chickenlady do.
Me, Swipe and BGB are childless old crones. Poppet and Amberl are too young to start worrying about that nonsense.

Frankly, I'm surprised so many of the male b3tans have been allowed to procreate.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:00, Reply)
what happened to berk?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:03, Reply)
*gasps*
Oh god I forgot berk! The shame!

Berk is also young and has no need to worry about such matters.

EDIT: shit, and Cavy. I'd say she falls into the crone category with me.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:05, Reply)
Yeah thanks b3th.

(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:22, Reply)
You gerontophiles have to stick together.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:23, Reply)
She's such a cow.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:25, Reply)
innit.

(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:27, Reply)
My only excuse is that I'm old and senile.




sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:41, Reply)
Where's my fucking pocket money?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:51, Reply)
You'll have to pay your own prostitutes

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:52, Reply)
he's such a disappointment
why couldn't he have been a doctor like his cousin?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:54, Reply)
tidy your room first

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:52, Reply)
You're not the boss of me. Now hand over your pension otherwise I'll kick you in the cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:53, Reply)
you're an embarrassment the entire shire

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:55, Reply)
It's ok for 3 weeks in every 4

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:49, Reply)
Hahaha

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:49, Reply)

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1681106-To-think-their-is-NOTHING-wrong-with-extended-breastfeeding-or-wet-nursing
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1683230-to-be-livid-at-being-told-I-have-no-partner-are-13-months
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1680739-To-say-he-cant-go-to-stag-do-if-there-are-going-to-be-strippers
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1682551-To-have-pancakes-for-dinner

yes
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:57, Reply)
crikey.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:06, Reply)
I just ate an onion bhaji, then a Kitkat Chunky
The taste combination is terrible
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:52, Reply)
NSSOTD

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:53, Reply)
Seriously, it's awful. Stay away, kids.
Two Hats: Eating vile food so you don't have to.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:56, Reply)
Thanks Heston!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:53, Reply)
Why are you telling Swipe you've had a kit kat & a bhaji?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:54, Reply)
i spend time on here to distract from my crushing bore of a job
the person above is two hats, he's cool, he said he'd buy me a cuppa one day
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:54, Reply)
the person above me was psycho ho ho chomp, but i was too slow to respond
all i know of him is that he has an internet girlfriend
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:55, Reply)
I can vouch for the existence of said girlfriend
Although they did meet online. Despite this, she's very attractive. And dating Chompy. It's a mass of unexpectedness.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:57, Reply)
i would say that 95% of the things i read on here are a lie
even that statistic is a lie
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:00, Reply)
i'm not actually Battered's mum, I'm the baby jesus

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:02, Reply)
You're not the Baby Jesus
You're a Very Naughty Boy.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:03, Reply)
He's also too stupid to realise that his name hadn't been stolen.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:04, Reply)
it had been, but must have been relinquished

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:06, Reply)
My spare account had it for about ten minutes after you became the baby Jesus.
Pretty sure it has been available since then.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:08, Reply)
oh...well I like being the baby jesus

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:08, Reply)
Doesn't matter.
We all know who you are.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:13, Reply)
i thought you didn't want the baldmonkey pseudonym back?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:15, Reply)
ain't that brb?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:16, Reply)
I find it easier to believe that you're Battered's mum.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:06, Reply)
All the best people met their significant other online.#

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:02, Reply)
We're not married yet, b3th

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:04, Reply)
One day, dear...

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:13, Reply)
+soon

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:17, Reply)
I'd buy you a cuppa
but I'd spit in it
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:56, Reply)

(◉‿◉)
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:56, Reply)
<3

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:58, Reply)
And I will
x
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:56, Reply)
the good times are coming

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:59, Reply)
Oh man, the damned Narcs have found my spare account, too.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:57, Reply)
They still haven't got rid of PsychoChomp (fake)

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 12:59, Reply)
I dunno if they've got rid of Theoban's name saving account
Because I can't remember the name of it
or the password
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:00, Reply)
I have an account somewhere called Monty Boyce I think.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:01, Reply)
I have a sockpuppet account purely for being a prick online with.
Its username is 'Windy Pig'. It needs to be banned IMMEDIATELY.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:02, Reply)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:07, Reply)
I love you really!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:07, Reply)
i had one other account that i used to post on talk with, a few years ago
but i've long since forgotten the user name/password after a hilarious incident when i changed it
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:07, Reply)
Good afternoon, The Oban.
I'll be honest, it's possible that I can't remember the username I left it with.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:02, Reply)
Is it this one?
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=90754
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:03, Reply)
You're impersonating a bent spastic?
Well, hide in plain sight and all that etc etc.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:05, Reply)
I was just checking to see if his username really had been stolen.
It hadn't.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:06, Reply)
what a bent spastic.
You, not him.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:07, Reply)
I am getting really confused now.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:07, Reply)
thank god for purple namers
it lets me know who's really cool
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:08, Reply)
You mean me here, right?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:09, Reply)
Your name is blue, so this confirms that purple ones are the coolest.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:09, Reply)
That's just showing you've clicked on it once before, surely?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:11, Reply)
once is better than nonce

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:14, Reply)
Soz
It's even more confusing being Nakers.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:08, Reply)
YES!
Ta
(kroney2, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:10, Reply)
you can't have two kronlies

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:16, Reply)
distraction between work tasks innit
i need something to get my mind out of one matter and into another.

the person posting above me was the doveston. i know nothing of his work, but i hear he's very very sex-eh. or he might be a she. my source wasn't fussy.

oh, now it's kroney. well we all know how sex-eh she is.

no, a vicar's handshake will do for the likes of him.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:03, Reply)
alright Swipester?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:04, Reply)
alright plumstop

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:06, Reply)
yeah not bad.
Few days off, back to work on Tuesday.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:07, Reply)
i feel this irresistible urge
to ask something bullying about the hamster. why? why??
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:08, Reply)
Because you're a vicious online bully :'(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:09, Reply)
because your pet is bent, mm-kay?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:14, Reply)
Grace is very cute, low maintenance and friendly.
The complete opposite of you.

I detect jealousy here.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:15, Reply)
hamsters are a bit daft.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:15, Reply)
And very endearing.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:16, Reply)
if i met a dude
and we went back to his after 8 dates or whatever, and he had a hamster, i would think he was either gay or into some seriously kinky shit
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:16, Reply)
Whatever floats your boat, dudette.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:17, Reply)

8

1
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:17, Reply)
1 dates?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:18, Reply)
hey
i'm not you
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:18, Reply)
^ this ^
oh so much this

pointless
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:16, Reply)
They are great pets.
Your uni one does sound like it was a bit of a dick though.

Maybe it was a bit neglected.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:17, Reply)
it was spoiled rotten
even though i think, secretly, we all hated it.

and it fucking refused to die.

so did the fish. years and years later, they're still living in my friend's pond
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:18, Reply)
You're like the Cruella De Ville of the crepuscular rodent world.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:19, Reply)
This is possibly the sexiest thing you're ever going to read
www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-21431678
(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:05, Reply)
'Bernard Picton'
Sounds like a Brass Eye name.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:06, Reply)
"The ability to lose and re-grow its penis"
I reckon the creators of Ant and Dec have copied this ability to ensure they're never apart
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:08, Reply)
this is the only place I can post in my cis-otherkin amputee wooddwarf persona without being judged

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:11, Reply)
Ahahahahaha, I'd forgotten about otherkin.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:13, Reply)
poor woodside

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:14, Reply)
what are you some kind of freak?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:17, Reply)
this is a long thread

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:21, Reply)
truth yo

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:22, Reply)
Just like your son's penis.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:24, Reply)
Nakers has a son with a penis which is long and extremely thin?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:25, Reply)
Yes. His daughter also has a penis.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:26, Reply)
Your nickname 'Tamperer' is well-deserved.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 13:27, Reply)

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