Weekend plans? *
Alt: What way do you think you'll die?

AltAlt: Suggest how you think other B3tans will snuff it.



*at least make these interesting for a change. Lie if you have to.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:13, 89 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

tonight, testing beer, then if it's ready bottling it.
Tomorrow internet installed sometime between 8am and 1pm. Rest of the day catching up on stuff I've missed while internet was down. Setting up love film and netflix accounts and stuff. Sunday i have to work.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:16, Reply)

At the risk of being Emvee'd to death, I'm afraid I'm off to a comic convention tomorrow.
Alt: I plan to die of alchohol poisoning on my 100th birthday. But realistically, I'm going for 'run over by a car while trying to take a photo of an interesting road marking'

AltAlt: Social cleansing.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:16, Reply)

Going there for the pussy?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:17, Reply)

Something about fat lasses sweating in slutty Catwoman leathers just does it for me.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:18, Reply)

+lego-filled

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:18, Reply)

I'm supposed to be orienteering this weekend with my son
I don't fancy it one bit
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:17, Reply)

orienteering cottaging.

n't

one a
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:19, Reply)

excellent
(◉‿◉)

I think that may be preferable
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:20, Reply)

work do
and friends staying, meaning all kinds of carnage about posting keys and other such tedious shit, but also many beers and comedy night.

alt: on my £3M yacht, at the age of 99, having been fucked to death by my 22 year old oscar winning hunk 14th husband
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:18, Reply)

altalt: monty's ex after being smothered in nutella and shoved into trafalgar square for pigeons to eat. and then run over by a bus when even pigeons have better taste

dozer - autoeroticasphyxiation whilst watching the news. with a turquoise binliner.

hartley - hanged himself with grief after learning about the loss of dozer.

battered - ripped to shreds by american tourists wanting his lucky charms.

stunned - shocked everyone by outliving us all.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:19, Reply)

Got me nailed to a tee there
Swipey Ma'am
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:21, Reply)

like a crucifixion you mean?
not painful enough, soz.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:21, Reply)

I can imagine Stunned doing that.
The man's made out of leather.
( Kroney, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:21, Reply)

Nobody gets my horrible American breakfast cereal.
AltAlt:

Swipe: lonely suicide after all her hair falls out as a result of too much dye in an attempt to hide gingerness.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:22, Reply)

it's all being cut short and dyed blackberry dark today
so ner
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Are they doing 'downstairs' as well?
I know you're not getting any, but the collars and cuff should match nonetheless. Got to maintain standards.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:23, Reply)

how do you know i am not getting any?
your sources are not current, old chap.

hollywood all the way, bebbeh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:25, Reply)

Can't beat a shaven haven.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:26, Reply)

A quim trim

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:29, Reply)

yes you can
that would get all stubbly and itchy, rank.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:31, Reply)

99 problems, but an itch ain't one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:32, Reply)

PEEDO!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:39, Reply)

Sticking a candle up your vadge and sitting on the washing machine at full spin does not count as getting any.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:29, Reply)

Flappy Birthday!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:29, Reply)

i have an integrated washing machine
so there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:30, Reply)

Thanks "Metal Mickey"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:31, Reply)

Integrated in to your vagina no doubt.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:32, Reply)

No doubt she'll claim it's a Hotpoint

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:33, Reply)

Better that than a Whirlpool.

( Kroney, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:34, Reply)

Or a Hoover

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:37, Reply)

Or an Ariston
What are we doing here?
( Theoban What of it, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:43, Reply)

Dunno
something about Swipe's vadge and a washing machine?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:49, Reply)

Never gonna happen.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:32, Reply)

Hopefully not.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:33, Reply)

True story, my Grandad, when asked how he wanted to go, would reply "By being shot by a very jelous husband".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:30, Reply)

I might buy a car. For the LOLZ.
Alt: I'll probably be the first person to be killed playing hockey, knowing me.

AltAlt: I'm pretty sure Poppet will be killed by something extravegantly unnecessarily poisonous. Monty will be killed by rare vinyl.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:21, Reply)

how?
seriously, how? if all the shelves collapse and he gets buried under it, or if he cuts himself on the edge of a record and gets blood poisoning, or if his ex whips it at him like a ninja frizbee?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:22, Reply)

Safest position in hockey is goalie
and the warmest in winter, too.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:23, Reply)

I've proper fucked some keepers before.
So i dispute this.

rswipe, sweetie, don't read too much into this.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:25, Reply)

I used to play in goal
licence to boot people up in the air, frequently. Long as you get somewhere near the ball. .. Been hit full in the face with a shot from about 12 yards, just bent the face mask a bit.
Lot of fun.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:30, Reply)

Throat's the problem.
And when it sneaks through padding. Split a keepers mitt in two a couple of months ago and broke his hand. Ooops.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 10:13, Reply)

No weekend plans, or probably any plans at all for the rest of the month.
I'm pretty sure I blew my budget. I'm supposed to be saving money lol. I suck at finance.
( Kroney, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:22, Reply)

at finance

cock.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:25, Reply)

simple yet effective
a classic zing
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:25, Reply)

No supper + half price martinis = :o(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Why is half price drinking making a sad face?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:25, Reply)

I am guessing that he is feeling a little tired and emotional today.

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:27, Reply)

Fucking pussy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:28, Reply)

Kiss me Hardy...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:34, Reply)

*licks*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:35, Reply)

e y y on
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:36, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1872540
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:38, Reply)

Hahahahah
I wish I was a few seconds faster with the strikethrough
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:41, Reply)

Yeah that too

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:38, Reply)

What are you doing here?
You're supposed to be off today
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:40, Reply)

work, drink, rugby, work, drink, rugby, work.
I think.

Alt: I imagine I'll finally crash my stupid tin box car in to something hard and have my face pressed firmly in to whatever it was till it pops.

Altalt: I hope you all get to download your personalities in to a computer, so we can all hang out here, FOREVER.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:23, Reply)

alt alt...Holy shit
a fate worse than death
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:28, Reply)

death darth


( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:37, Reply)

I'm going to die in Vegas in a couple of years
Go over, take life savings, spend my time drunk and making stupid bets, get in deep with the Mafia, can't pay them back, into the desert, dig own grave, one to put me down, another to make sure, family finds out in a few years when a coyote digs up my wallet.

Altalt: You're going to die when you try to get the beans out of the kitchen cupboard but everything falls on you, death by Heinz. Terrible.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:27, Reply)

AltAlt:
All 57 of us
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:28, Reply)

You're saying Battered is actually a collective of 57 even smaller homunculi?
And you're one?
( Theoban What of it, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:34, Reply)

I DUNNO NOW

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:34, Reply)

Beer and films with friends
Day out tomorrow with another friend.
That's about it, really.

Alt: Depends really. If I have my Mum's family luck, cancer. My Dad's family luck, whatever it is, I'll die quickly.

AltAlt: Darth will do a 'Mr Hands'
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:27, Reply)

I think I'll move house
This will involve monumental amounts of stress and paint.

Alt:
Egg sandwich overdose

AltAlt:
Jeff - gang-raped by boxer dogs
BGB - cat
Al - run over by van
Monty - dry meat asphyxiation
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:28, Reply)

Gang show
Rugby
Beer
Chistenings

Didn't we do this yesterday?
( MONO!, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Every day is like déjà vu in here
I may start a thread about crisps later
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:51, Reply)

I'll do one about car tyres.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:55, Reply)

Fuck that was going to be my Alt:

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:57, Reply)

"Alt:" is a load of shit
Stop doing it.
( MONO!, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:58, Reply)

YOUN FACE IS

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:59, Reply)

I'll do one about weekend plans.

( MONO!, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:58, Reply)

show bang
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 10:01, Reply)

70th party on Sat night, beer.
Nothing else exciting.

alt: Sideways through the pearly gates in an Aston Martin, or similar.

altalt:

Nakers: strangled by an incorrect choice of cable.
Swipe: choked on a Greggs sausage.
Dozer: found face down in the leisure centre pool having been stabbed to death with a turquoise Mary Quant cufflink by David Icke.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 9:58, Reply)

The Dozer one would make an excellent "Who dunnit"
So you have been to 69 parties before? over what period of time














Just one MOAR thing.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 10:02, Reply)

A 69 party?
Not since my student days *


*not then, either.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 10:04, Reply)

Name people with motive to kill dozer?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 10:05, Reply)

Mary Quant?
I think not.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 10:27, Reply)

I appear to have tickets to some place called Bristol
So I imagine I'll do that.

Alt: Brain aneurysm. While wanking.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 10:07, Reply)

cor they never used to charge you entrance before

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 10:10, Reply)

This thread is shit.
so I done a new one.

you're welcome.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 10:12, Reply)