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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Continuing my attempt to start non-lunch food threads:
My breakfast is 5 Rich Tea biscuits and a cup of tea to dunk them in.

What did you have for breakfast?

Alt: I reckon I could pretty much live on biscuits, what single foodstuff could you live on.

AltAlt: who do we think set off the bombs in Boston? Personally I'm hoping for white nutters rather than brown, so that the yanks have a harder time being simplistic about who they target. The Westborough Baptist Church, or maybe the Tea Party would be favourites.

Edit:
AltAltAlt: It seem Nakers and Hartly are confused and frightened by a simple biscuit. What confuses and frightens you.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:54, 129 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I forgot my lunch and my fruit for mid morning : (

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:56, Reply)
I'm sure they'll still bring round a box of milk

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:58, Reply)
thatcher stole it : (

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:00, Reply)
Rich Tea biscuits are probably the worst kind to try and dunk
I don’t even think Nakers would be stupid enough to try dunking Rich Tea
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:58, Reply)
they are the worst biscuit of that shape
hobnob > digestive >>>>>>>>>>>>> rich tea
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:58, Reply)
and they fall to bits

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:00, Reply)
They have a subtle flavour, to be sure.
but none the less enjoyable for that.

Hobnobs are for plebs.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:03, Reply)
Hobnobs are the best of all biscuits
you take that back!
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:06, Reply)
My point^ right there.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:11, Reply)
have you had one of those hobnob bars
with the chewy bits and the hobnob bits and the big chunks of chocolate? om nom nom.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:16, Reply)
Bloody nouveau riche scum.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:27, Reply)
you awful biscrong

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:20, Reply)
A quick dunk is ok...

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:00, Reply)
I was wrong
Nakers would be stupid enough to try dunking Rich Tea
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:01, Reply)
They take skill and dexterity that is beyond the common fumble-fingered oaf it is true.
I can't say I've ever had any issues with them.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:01, Reply)
I had a glass of water

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 9:58, Reply)
I had some FRUIT LOL

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:00, Reply)
i forgot my fruit : (

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:00, Reply)
^FRUIT WOES RIGHT HERE

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:02, Reply)
Fruitshortcake biscuits

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:14, Reply)
Not really I had two toasts, one with pate and one with hummous.
More of a 'brunch' you might say*


*if you were a the kind of frightful arsehole who thinks 'brunch' is an acceptable word
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:02, Reply)
I had cornflakes, they really are fucking useless at filling one up

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:03, Reply)
the idea of cereal as a health food is the biggest fucking food con of all time

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:07, Reply)
Cornflakes were invented to prevent masturbation or something.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:09, Reply)
Special K should be banned and the head of Kellogs should be executed
There...I said it.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:11, Reply)
I made some chelsea buns yesterday, Montz
And I've still got several left! Imagine that!
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:05, Reply)
It's a crazy world we live in and no mistake!

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:07, Reply)
I cheated a bit
I didn't have any dried fruit so I used a jar of mince meat. Can you ever forgive me?
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:08, Reply)
Sounds like that would make them BETTER

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:22, Reply)
I won't lie....they're pretty good

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:36, Reply)
I conform to stereotype for my breakfast.
Alt: Curry.

Altalt: All this is just making me get that Sensational Alex Harvey Band song stuck in my head. I don't even like it particularly.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:03, Reply)
Granary toast with REAL butter, bitches!
French butter, but BUTTER NONETHELESS!
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:04, Reply)
They don't put enough salt in it.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:04, Reply)
You say that
But I had some Brittany butter once that had such big bits of salt in, it crunched. It was fucking awesome.
I think this is Normandy butter. I would go look at the packet, but...y'know...lazy spastic.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:05, Reply)
Your Bretons are almost like us though, aren't they?
Well, bit more like the Welsh, but you know what I mean.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:07, Reply)
I have no idea, but I'm going to agree with you, based purely on my love of butter
God...I just love it so damned much.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:08, Reply)
they are very closely related to the Cornish and some South Wales folks

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:11, Reply)
lots of old stone circles in Brittnay just like in the west country

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:13, Reply)
That's interesting

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:14, Reply)
I always had a theory that during that period of history when people sailed the seas and discovered new lands
Some enterprising Welsher sailed off the bottom of Wales, hit Cornwall and thought they had found a new country.
Then, on setting off from Cornwall, they repeated this mistake with Brittany.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:17, Reply)
Then you are an idiot.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:21, Reply)
This has been repeatedly proven to be true :(

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:24, Reply)
is this sarcasm?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:18, Reply)
No, no...not at all
Genuinely interesting! I didn't know any of this.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:20, Reply)
ah ok then, Brittany has some incredible Ancient stones, burial grounds etc
worth a visit if you like that sort of stuff.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:21, Reply)
My wife lived in Cherbourg for a year, and she visited a lot of the north coast
She loved it. Maybe we should go back there.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:23, Reply)
Carnac in southern France has some incredible monuments
inc a temple of the cult of the human head* with skulls in niches around the door - it's all very 'heavy metal'.

*speculation only
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:28, Reply)
I am something of an expert in your Celts, my dissertation was on pre-Roman British religions, you see.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:22, Reply)
Well then come to my house and tell me some of these things
and bring weed.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:22, Reply)
I really shall, THEN YOU'LL BE SORRY

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:23, Reply)
Oh boy, are we in for a roller coaster ride!
Or should I say...LOLler coaster!
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:24, Reply)
No...I probably shouldn't say that, actually

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:24, Reply)
I think it's best if we all try to forget you suggested that.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:26, Reply)
You know what's good for forgetting stuff?
MOAR WEED!
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:28, Reply)
WOO HOOO

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:28, Reply)
Yes you should say that.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:25, Reply)
+ because rather than bringing weed, I shall smoke all of yours

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:24, Reply)
:o(

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:26, Reply)
Genetically, the English, Welsh, Scottish, Irish and Bretons are all very similar.
The Saxon displacement is a total myth, we're all predominantly from ancient Breton stock.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:22, Reply)
Innit, the legacy of yer Saxons is almost 100% linguistic only
and some social practices like burial methods etc. I'd say I'm boring myself here but it'd be a lie. I love this shit.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:24, Reply)
If you go back to prehistory
the DNA of most English has its roots in the Basque region.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:31, Reply)
I left my DNA in your mum's basque region last night
it's funny because a basque is also a sort of corset thing.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:55, Reply)
fuk of Im british mate, you want a fucng glassin?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:55, Reply)
fancy toast always needs twice as much butter than shit white toast because of all the nooks and crannies

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:06, Reply)
No argument there
MOAR BUTTER
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:06, Reply)
that's why crumpets are awesome
the butter sinks into the holes and then you can put more butter on.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:57, Reply)
I'm VERY aroused right now

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 11:02, Reply)
I always feel slightly sad when I see all the butter that soaked through the crumpet and got left on the plate :(
they made a brave sacrifice to ensure saturation
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 11:05, Reply)
lick the plate afterwards

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 11:08, Reply)
I had porridge
alt: I would love to be able to survive just on beer, but there's a protein issue there (among other things), so it might have to be steak. Or biscuits.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:04, Reply)
I defrosted a breakfast burrito that I made on Sunday and a proper coffee to take with me on the commute
Alt: I can't see why them forriners would want anything to do with Boston, so I reckon it was something homebrewed. A witness said they smelled cordite and gunpowder.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:05, Reply)
because foreigners only use chappati flour and turbans in their bombs?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:10, Reply)
I'd have thought they'd use something a bit more sophisticated. They were certainly more capable with the London Bombings, with more deaths, and outside of a public holiday.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:24, Reply)
Shut up Frisbee you drunken oaf.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:55, Reply)
THE ENGLISH ARE COMING, THE ENGLISH ARE COMING!

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:10, Reply)
Totally a Thatcherite conspiracy.
Or retribution for the Boston Tea Party
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:31, Reply)
Those bloody English
With their tea and their roast beef.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:36, Reply)
people that drink from those thermos mugs really annoy me

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:16, Reply)
Me too.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:58, Reply)
an accelerant and an explosive in a bomb? For shame.
whatever will the bastards think of next? bullets in guns? Clearly evidence of the source of the bomb, that.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:20, Reply)
Yeah because you only need cordite and gunpowder to make a bomb.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:25, Reply)
and some dude on the street is totally going to be able to distinguish them by smell

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:30, Reply)
I reckon it's all speculative but they're a hard scent to forget, once you've smelled them.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:34, Reply)
you could be the next jessica fletcher

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:42, Reply)
*typewrites*

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:56, Reply)
Alt: biscuits are shit, as is all sweet food.
Plus you couldn't live on them for long without developing serious health issues, you dick. As I understand it, the potato is one of very few foodstuffs you can live on almost exclusively pretty much indefinitely, so, potatoes please.

Altalt: angry Pakis.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:06, Reply)
B-b-but....m-my chelsea buns....:(

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:07, Reply)
Meh, I say - MEH.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:10, Reply)
I'll have one twosie

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:17, Reply)
I put extra icing on them, as well :(

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:18, Reply)
Didn't work out so well for the Irish.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:08, Reply)
Had they planted a variety of different types they would have been fine, the stupid lazy smelly paddy cunts.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:09, Reply)
Had they planted a wider variety of food crops in general they'd have been fine.
The problem was, they didn't.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:10, Reply)
The blight that ruined them affects only some varieties of spud.
The stupid wankers only needed to diversify within the one crop itself and they'd all have been fine. Still, on the plus side, loads of Irish people died.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:12, Reply)
And we ended up with a load of new roads.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:14, Reply)
and Chief O'Hara in Batman

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:19, Reply)
And 'scousers'

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:19, Reply)
Dunno why they didn't grow some wheat or something.
I'd get bored of constantly eating potatoes, myself. I could've right gone for a loaf. Bit weird they didn't. After however many months of potatoes, a bit of toast would've gone down like ice cream.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:16, Reply)
Laziness.
Laziness and stupidity. Two of the hallmarks of your 'padraig' to this very day.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:20, Reply)
I have a mate who only eats potato and bread

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:22, Reply)
Seriously?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:33, Reply)
Yep

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:35, Reply)
Is he....ok?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:37, Reply)
He's a bit "special" but a top chap

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:45, Reply)
so chip butties then

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 13:08, Reply)
Botanically speaking,
Nakers is a bent spastic.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:08, Reply)
BTW, I am with you on the Rich Tea biscuit question.
An unlikely alliance, but still. They are the best of the classic biscuit oeuvre.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:09, Reply)
history has shown
that in the rare cases that we agree on a thing it is indisputably right.

Thatcher's still a ranccid dead cunt though.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:15, Reply)
they are nice if you make up a bit of icing, spread it on them, chill them for about 5 mins, scarf them down

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:20, Reply)
see also spreading golden syrup on them

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:20, Reply)
as a deprived child whose healthy mother never allowed chocolate or anything else in the house
i had to pimp my snacks with whatever was in the cupboard when she was out :(
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:21, Reply)
You're a wrong'un.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:24, Reply)
iced rich tea biscuits are lovely
get your wife to make you some
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:26, Reply)
I DO NOT HAVE A WIFE

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:41, Reply)
hire an escort to make you iced rich tea biscuits

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:47, Reply)
I reckon it was a distraction while Jeremy Irons robbed a federal gold reserve or something

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:10, Reply)
You are onto something here
METH
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:22, Reply)
I reckon if you get a bowl of crushed up (but not super crushed) rich tea, then pour some tea on top, that it would make a good alternative to a bowl of cerial.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:16, Reply)
Good in what sense?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:18, Reply)
Semi-sweet sludge is good, right?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:19, Reply)
that kind of thinking is why michael buble's a star, i guess

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:21, Reply)
Gonz's scales of good are not calibrated in a normal human way.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:23, Reply)
then put an egg on top?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:37, Reply)
altaltalt: Confused and frightened by a biscuit
It's quite simple Rich tea biscuits are wank, and only a lithium high steamprick and a bent spastic would try to dunk them
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:18, Reply)
The biscuits are OK, but only a fool would dunk one
seeing as they instantly turn to mush at the merest touch of hot liquid.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:21, Reply)
m&s actually made dunking biscuits for a while
dunking is fucking DISGUSTING and should be banned
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:22, Reply)
^ SWIPE GETS IT ^

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:28, Reply)
+FROM PISTON BROKE

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 11:03, Reply)
what do you do with all that wasted tea then?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:56, Reply)
*sigh*
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1934528
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:32, Reply)
i had a litre of evian for breakfast
then the fucking district line took about an hour to do about 4 miles, and i nearly wet myself.

alt: it depends. i'd say pasta if i could change the sauces every day.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:19, Reply)
You're doing breakfast wrong.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:21, Reply)
this month i am on my water diet to get rid of all the easter chocolate
from 1 may breakfast will be either granola with yoghurt, a homemade smoothie, or a spinach omelette with mushrooms and a tiny bit of goats cheese. is that ok?
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:22, Reply)
No.
but it's less likely to fuck you up than water.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:22, Reply)
why are those things not ok??

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:23, Reply)
NO PIG.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:23, Reply)
well, why don't you come over for breakfast one day?
then there'll be a MIGHTY BIG PIG involved

xx
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:26, Reply)
I am unsure if this is a euphemism
Or if you're just calling me fat.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:27, Reply)

breakfast kegels
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:26, Reply)
if i were doing those wrong
i WOULD have wet myself
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:27, Reply)
I know, the district line can be a bit scary.
but you don't need to be afraid now. there there.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:22, Reply)
you don't know, man
you weren't THERE
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:22, Reply)
I just did a lovely big poo.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:22, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1934636
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:30, Reply)
I was just about to leave for work this morning
and I had to have one of those too. Almost made me late.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:32, Reply)
I had a big chunk of french stick (not Kroney's) with two cups of coffee
Alt:
Steak/curry

AltAlt:
Ian - it was him
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:24, Reply)
AltAlt: Personally I'm hoping for green space nutters
as I've reached just about the limit of despairing at the fucking behaviour of humanity.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:25, Reply)
What....like martians?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:27, Reply)
Just, y'know, not humans.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:28, Reply)
Oh god, you're right
I came across as really racist there...just because they're from Mars, that automatically makes them terrorists? Man, I'm so ashamed.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:31, Reply)
It's OK, man.
That kind of anti-martian racism is hard to shake.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:34, Reply)
The first step towards change is admitting the problem
I feel better already
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:35, Reply)
What. ....like Swampy?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:29, Reply)
Isn't Swampy dead?

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:30, Reply)
Nothing
Alt: Meat

AltAlt: These guys
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:30, Reply)
It was a North Korean sleeper cell.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:42, Reply)
One of the best things that I read yesterday about the bombing.
three hours after the bombing the red cross tweeted that no one else needed to give blood as they'd filled all their stocks in the state.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:46, Reply)

imgur.com/gallery/pkCJqhl
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:46, Reply)
It was the British
America have been given 240 years, and look at the mess they've made. Enough's enough....we want the colonies back, thank you.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:54, Reply)
England at the time of the War of Independence opposed further expansion into the continent.
We could have the thirteen colonies back and give the rest to the Injuns!
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:55, Reply)
That will do, to begin with

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:56, Reply)
It was all about land grab and killing Injuns. We opposed both, colonists wanted both.
Nothing to do with taxation without representation.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:56, Reply)
Which is, of course, why they all fought on our side.
The natives, I mean.
(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 10:58, Reply)
Once they realised we were the lesser of two evils.

(, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 11:17, Reply)

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