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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hey gang, it's me Monty - you know, Monty?
Over here!!! Coo-ee!!!

Let's have some NOMCHAT.

1. Bread - are you a yurt ponce or a Mother's pride type? Ever spent four quid on an 'artisan loaf'? Ever made your own?

2. Soup - what's your favourite? What's the worst? I fucking hate that spasticated chicken soup crap that Jewish people crap on about. It's some fucking soup you flids not antibiotics. FUCK OFF. 'It just makes you feel better when you're ill'. Have some fucking Zyklon B soup and shut up.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 12:56, 168 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
i was gonna eat my macaroni cheese that I brought in from hokme
But now there's pizza for a lady who's gonna give birth so I'll probably eat that instead...AND SOME PIZZA!
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 12:57, Reply)
oh HO!

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 12:59, Reply)
I dunno how chompy can hate me with a wit like this

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:00, Reply)
You're on top form at the mo

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:03, Reply)
i'ma bit manic from lack of sleep, too much coffee and stress

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:04, Reply)
It's doing your humour good

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:04, Reply)
brilliant, nakers you have 2 choices
1. be funny, die at 40
2. be boring, live to 70
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:05, Reply)
So lack of sleep sharpens your wit
whereas I'm always at my acerbic best when I'm cross and stressed out.

Seems we're not destined to be long for this world, Nakers, old chum.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:08, Reply)
I know which one we'd all vote for.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:08, Reply)
I sometimes buy sandwiches from from "artisan bread" from bread.
Seems like it's tougher and less refined than normal bread. Brilliant.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 12:58, Reply)
Isn't it odd that the fewer ingredients that go into a loaf the more it costs?
So if you don't have to refine the flour or put in additives etc it's more costly right? You're definitely not taking me for a fucking mug here are you? Oh good, here's a tenner.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:00, Reply)
Living as I do next to wankfest Broadway Market I can nip up and get artisan bread towards the end of the day for a quid a loaf.
By then it's already stale.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:02, Reply)
not full of preservatives and shit that's why
in case you didn't know ;)
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:03, Reply)
Yeah thanks for that.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:04, Reply)
from from from what?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:11, Reply)
Free range language.
It's the next big thing in the green community. I'm surprised you haven't heard of it you fucking mung prick.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:12, Reply)
You can't upset me, I've just read an excellent review of my album.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:13, Reply)
WAIT, YOU'VE GOT AN ALBUM?
WHY HAVEN'T I HEARD ABOUT THIS ALREADY?
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:13, Reply)
I don't really like to talk about it.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:14, Reply)
Fair enough.
I'm much the same way over my legs, bum and criminal driving.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:15, Reply)
it turned up this morning, thanks pal

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:21, Reply)
Excellent
I look forward to your review.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:23, Reply)
Really?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:28, Reply)
You can't only pay attention to the good reviews.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:29, Reply)
G-g-g-g-Granville

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:13, Reply)
I'm partial to brocolli & stilton soup, french onion or pea & ham.
Breadmaker FTW.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:00, Reply)
I was really disapointed with the breadmaker I was given
It ended up being nothing more than an expensive air freshener
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:13, Reply)
Brocolli and stilton is a bit good when made properly.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:18, Reply)

made spelt
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:19, Reply)
Stop trying to shoehorn in your waki wheatgrains you fucking wanker

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:22, Reply)
Haha, I'll tell you what Monty, hoho
He haha he made an eleLENTIL mistake there

teeheehee
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:23, Reply)
hahahahahahaha YOU SAID IT, K-DOGG!!!!

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:27, Reply)
Quinoa is so last year.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:24, Reply)
I get that wrong most times.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:23, Reply)
Just THINK before you type, yeah?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:24, Reply)
You too, Battered.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:24, Reply)
That's who I copied it from

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:25, Reply)
He's such a prick.
Probably off his face on a combination of booze, aftershave and headwrong meds by now.
There are much better men you could look up to as role models.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:26, Reply)
I couldn't look up to Battered if I tried.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:30, Reply)
I don't care about Bread, I don't believe in Soup.
This thread is not for me, I'm out.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:02, Reply)
Oh right.
Soz
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:02, Reply)
good bread is a delight, sourdough is my personal fav, never made it though
does pizza base count as bread, i made that.

2. I like spicey thai soups.Generally though I find soup very meh.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:02, Reply)
I like chewy wholemeal, with bits of stuff on the top. Unsliced.
Not a big soup fan, I had some West Indian stuff they used to do at my old job, Pepperpot soup and dumplings, which was nom. Basically loads of pork and veg, with garlic and chilies. Excellent stuff.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:03, Reply)
Hi mate! Good times yeah! Nice one mate!
I go for wholemeal bread and I like soup, don't have a favourite! Nice one mate!
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:04, Reply)
Cool!

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:04, Reply)
I hate everybody.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:15, Reply)
Why are you so fucking cheerful?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:05, Reply)
His hamster is fitting comfortably for a change.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:05, Reply)
yeah whatevs, polski prick

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:06, Reply)
you'd know all about fitting, you foamy mouthed prick.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:19, Reply)
this deserves credit

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:27, Reply)
Fucking hell well done
click
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:30, Reply)
grace just had an epileptic fit

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:06, Reply)
Who?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:08, Reply)
his hamster, pay attention

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:08, Reply)
Dozer has a pet hamster called Grace
that he keeps snugly up his anus.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:09, Reply)
It's Monty Boyce! Off the internet!
1. Fresh white bread is awesome, but the processed sliced kind is only good enough for feeding ducks.
2. New Covent Garden potato and leek is nice, with a crusty roll.

Hope that helps.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:08, Reply)
SP
FOOooOOoooOOoOOOOooOOoOOOOOooOOooOOOoOOOOOdy nyomnyoms
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:08, Reply)
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSP

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:14, Reply)
You don't care about my opinions on food.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:09, Reply)
oi Yurtface
Have you seen that David Yow is doing a solo album?
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:17, Reply)
Had to google the name, so no.
I only own one Jesus Lizard album. True story.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:21, Reply)
I quite like them.
True story.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:25, Reply)
You wouldn't want to eat the "artisan loaves" that I've pinched off myself.
LOL!!!!
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:13, Reply)
I'm 'baking an artisan loaf' as I type this

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:13, Reply)
Do you knit muesli too,
and weave yoghurt?
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:17, Reply)
Hiya!!!

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:25, Reply)
I like Baps

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:36, Reply)
i like baps too :) :) :) :) :) :)

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)
I'm a fussy bastard when it comes to bread, not a fan of brown/seeded/granary/anything like that. Honestly couldn't tell you if I've ever had sourdough.
Favourite soup is Hot & Sour from the chinese. Least favourite is probably minestrone, or the shitty quality Oxtail you get in tins.

I had chicken and sweetcorn soup from Tesco for lunch, not bad at all for £1 (once you've added some pepper to it).

To add to that, I'm making my own soup tonight, had a chicken carcass in the slow cooker overnight, so will continue to cook that later, then go from there.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:17, Reply)
Shittty oxtail?
Surely even Heinz wash the tails before cooking them.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:19, Reply)
You were saying?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:20, Reply)
Oxtail soup is the best soup
you fucking wrong-mouthed heathen.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:20, Reply)
Good oxtail is lovely, yes
That tinned stuff is a fucking abomination.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:21, Reply)
OK, I'll let you off.
You know how to roll with the punches, I'll give you that.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:21, Reply)
Bellalolz

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:26, Reply)
According to the BBC, AA had to have his stomach pumped after drinking upto a gallon of "Cream of sum yung gi" soup

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:31, Reply)
I like bread
I do a mean spicy soup, with whatever meat is left over from a Sunday roast, vital ingredients are Cho-Cho, white yam and Scotch Bonnet peppers.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:17, Reply)
Cho Cho Pop soup is good.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:19, Reply)
Isn't Cho-Cho that fucking panda that was on Newsround every night for about ten years?
You MONSTER!
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:20, Reply)
Ha ha

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:21, Reply)
I'd eat Panda.
Dozy looking twats, evolve and learn to eat other stuff than bamboo. And breed more.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:21, Reply)
Serves them right, fucking black and white for camouflage ....
they deserve every thing they get.....


bestjamaica.com/cho-cho.html
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:25, Reply)
Hahaha... I didn't know that
"the world chocho means the vagina"
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:27, Reply)
It's also hidden in the middle of popular poster Psychochomp's user name.
COINCIDENCE???
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:29, Reply)
Hmm, conspiracy Friday.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:30, Reply)
Good heavens Holmes
I do believe you've cracked the case
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:32, Reply)
Scratches Deerstalker.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:32, Reply)
but doesn't vagina also mean cunt?
and twat?
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:41, Reply)
That's sticking it to the Chompy
ZING
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:56, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDZK6LCPMGs
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:58, Reply)
it's a sign of growing up that suddenly granary and other bread with bits in it seems very nommy
i like onion bread.

soup: either minestrone stuffed with chunky veg and pasta and drizzled with pesto, or a spicy mulligatawny
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:30, Reply)
Trust you to squeeze pasta in somewhere.
I bet you float a couple of Krispy Kremes on the top as well.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:33, Reply)
Haha.
And dip a Wispa in too.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:34, Reply)
yes
because i am in charge of EAT and i do design the recipes for all their soups. and i cook them too.

go and have a wank and then a sleep, you angry little man.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:36, Reply)
Are EAT any good?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:38, Reply)
as far as ready made soups, salads, sandwiches, pies go
they are def as good as it gets. i prefer it to pret, by a long way.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)
I prefer sucking the pus out of the distended anuses of AIDS-riddled gibbons than Pret.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:41, Reply)
so that's why you want my ex's phone number

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:42, Reply)
It is, yes.
I'd eaten a pret sarnie and needed something to take the taste away.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:45, Reply)
You do pick them don't you?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:45, Reply)
Not mad on Pret.
You cant beat a good Subway though...
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:41, Reply)
actually i really like subway
but i only eat the salad sandwiches with jalapenos, so it's not too disgusting. the "meat" looks vile.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:42, Reply)
The bread's weird too.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:45, Reply)
^ northern

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:45, Reply)
Nope, shit.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:40, Reply)
I'm not mad on ready-made butties tbh.
Overpriced, and you have to go with what their "sandwich Artists" want, stuffing all sort of crap into it.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:43, Reply)
the people who do our meeting sandwiches are cursed with this
some days it's great - yesterday we got cracked black pepper egg mayonnaise on wholegrain rolls, mixed cheese and onion mayo with chilli flakes on tiger bread, houmous and roasted vegetables and mozzarella, pesto and tomato on wholegrain white bread - there were lots of shitty roast chicken, salmon etc options too, but i ignored those.

other days it's shit like gorgonzola dipped in apricot chutney or cheddar spread with sweet chilli sauce. who the FUCK wants that kind of wank?
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:45, Reply)
There was a funeral party in the pub last night,
and we nommed all the butties when they had fucked off. Solid pub grub, grated cheddar, ham, beef and egg mayo. With a few bits of salad hiding. The home made coleslaw was nice though.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:48, Reply)
This is a post containing AA levels of interestingness

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:52, Reply)
I do my best.
I wanted it to mirror the thread.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:55, Reply)
In all truth I couldn't care a fig for any sandwich (bar toasted ones full of cheese).
Theyr're the most depressing lunch option (apart from 'none') going.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:46, Reply)
or "default" as you know it

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:49, Reply)
is this another reference to your mum's bird's minge??

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:54, Reply)
Ah, this is where the 2 mums reference comes from. I wondered.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:56, Reply)
Onion rye is my favourite loaf.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:35, Reply)
I've had rye, but not with onion it.
Comes of living up North.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:36, Reply)
there's a nice hotel/spa in wales called the celtic manor
their fancy restaurant has a bread menu. there were about 15 types of bread on that thing. amazing.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)
Rye too, aye.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:40, Reply)
Oh, come on.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:44, Reply)
Hush hush

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:52, Reply)
Mulligatawny has beef in it, love.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:35, Reply)
the original indian does not
damn colonials added meat when they came along
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:37, Reply)
I understood that soup was an English thing
and that in the glorious days of the raj, we had our (Indian) chefs create a soup in an Indian style and thus it was born.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)
google says
that the traditional indian lentil broth was considered too thin by the english, who wrecked it by chucking in meat.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)
google is a lying paki

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:42, Reply)
is this a statement? or a command?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:44, Reply)
hahahahaha
I'd love to see the autocomplete suggestions which come up
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:47, Reply)
'...necessary on a bicycle'

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:52, Reply)
... for a few days every month

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:53, Reply)
What a cho-cho

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:38, Reply)
CONVOLUTED STRIKETHROUGH ALERT!
t's a sign of +'m
up that suddenly granary and other bread with bits in it seems
nommy
i like onion bread.

soup: either minestrone stuffed with

veg and pasta and drizzled with pesto, or a spicy mulligatawny
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)
Totally worth it, dude.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)
what the actual fuck is the matter with you?
downs or just something similar?
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:40, Reply)
I'm HH's sock account.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:43, Reply)
well if you have your fist stuffed that far up his windy little sock
that does explain a lot
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:43, Reply)
:(

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:48, Reply)
Chicken soup with the motza-balls is fucking lush, if you've not had it with motza balls then you haven't had it properly so can fuck RIGHT off.
Cholla is the best bread. It fucking does my tits in that these supermarkets can make these bagels that are nothing like bagels, BREAD WITH A HOLE DOES NOT A BAGEL MAKE YOU FUCKING SCHMUCKS.

Gazpachio on a hot day is unrivled.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:32, Reply)
I thought they just brushed the sugar off stale doughnuts.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:33, Reply)
I've no issue with the soup itself - nor that it is indeed tasty (and yer I've had it with matzo balls, my bro's ex is a yidder)
It's the wanky health-giving bullshit that people assign to it, it just winds me up.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:38, Reply)
It does though, it's scientificly proven.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:58, Reply)
now you've made me think about arancini balls
i fucking love arancini
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:43, Reply)
He is good - Moon River, Theme from the Pink Panther, etc.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:45, Reply)
you know
this actually hurt to read it :(
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:46, Reply)
haha

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:47, Reply)
I don't give a shit Boyce

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:41, Reply)
I'm not overly bothered myself
however I thought that a bit of food chat would guaranteed to propel this moribund messageboard along for a little while.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:43, Reply)
Not a big fan of soup to be honest.
Rather have something to chew.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:47, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=IG-NTcx3Ojg
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:50, Reply)
hahaha, vagina

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:52, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1952905
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:53, Reply)
I had a hoisin duck wrap and a scotch egg.
It was a posh scotch egg, but I actually do't think they're much better than your bog standard scotch egg. But i've never tried a basics scotch egg.

I had an amazing scotch egg from the place in St Pancras Station.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:50, Reply)
Andy Bates' stall on Broadway market does black pudding scotch eggs, and also haggis and smoked haddock ones.
Them shits is DOPE, G.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:51, Reply)
And at £3.50 a pop they fucking should be eh.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:51, Reply)
I saw that on "Street food" next time I'm in the capital
I'm deffo gonna bag me some
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:53, Reply)
I've made black pudding scotch eggs,
well 'ard.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:58, Reply)
I was just gonna suggest that, i've seen it on the telly and looks AMAZING.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:59, Reply)
your face looks like a basic scotch egg

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:54, Reply)
where's the picture of al when you need it...

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:54, Reply)
... that's been bitten in half by a rabid tramp
the scotch egg, not the picture
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:55, Reply)
Do you mean the one that's on his profile?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 13:59, Reply)
dunno, can't see pictures
unless they're geese
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:00, Reply)


(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:04, Reply)
Alright, don't reply you fucking goose spastic.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:08, Reply)
I was on the phone, soz

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:08, Reply)
\o/

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:08, Reply)
GEESE

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:24, Reply)
Your vagina looks like a basics scotch egg.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:08, Reply)
My flatmate makes duck egg and chorizo scotch eggs
just sayin likes
it's ace
but just sayin
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:24, Reply)
HEY M I'm just back from lunch
1. I want to make bread but all the recipes are all 'knead bread, leave for hours, knead bread, leave for hours' and I can't be arsed with that noise. Even the 'no knead' ones are all about leaving it for a day

No doubt the Hemp Furniture Makers brigade will be along in a sec to call me a cretin but I ain't got TIME for this stuff with all the high end gaming ETC

2. Soup's shit cos it's just a drink people have been tricked into thinking is a dinner
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:15, Reply)
I make my own bread sometimes and my own soup too
its great.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:17, Reply)

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