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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Sex in the morning or sex in the evening?
Alt: What would it take to make you violent (making wiv da fisticuffs an shit)

Altalt: Which band would you like to spend time with backstage after a gig? Or which band would you avoid like the plaugue in a similar scenario?
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:38, 120 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
if it's you mum, than anytime as long as it's in the shitter

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:40, Reply)
Aw man, you're doing God's work son

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:41, Reply)
i'ma fucking saint it's true
St. Blurter
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:42, Reply)
*renounces*

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:31, Reply)
peedo
re u
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:37, Reply)
*rides the pony*

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:40, Reply)
alt: too much stella
Altalt: Foo Fighters, not that keen on their music, but Dave Grohl is a dude. any sadcore band
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:41, Reply)
Could you name a few sadcore bands please? I don't know those fellas

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:42, Reply)
errrr
Dead kitten eyes
black diary
Not my real dad
Battenburg buggery
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:44, Reply)
these are actual bands?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:45, Reply)
yep

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:45, Reply)
FFS

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:32, Reply)
I'm hactually the Bassist in Battenburg Buggery
and I'll have you know we are Steam-Core to the max.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:15, Reply)
Send your least bassist out for a good kicking then

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:36, Reply)
i don't do the sex
Alt only time I've been close was backing up my sister, she's crazy and will throw down in a heartbeat, if she does I will be there to back her up

Altalt Shiny Toy Guns
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:42, Reply)
I didn't see the first alt and thought you were talking about doing your sister up the bum.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:45, Reply)
she doesn't like it

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:45, Reply)
whne you do her up the bum?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:45, Reply)
When anyone does it I reckon.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:51, Reply)
she seemed alright when I did it
although I think she had forgotton to douche first
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:53, Reply)
*throws sausage down the alleyway*

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:54, Reply)
you should pray to St. Blurter

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:45, Reply)
i imagine either would be great

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:46, Reply)
what does team gonzo do?
It's unlikely to be sports
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:47, Reply)
Vampires or something

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:57, Reply)
we run around solving crimes

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:00, Reply)
ha ha yeah, "run"
i bet you go in a convoy of mobility scooters
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:01, Reply)
i run around carrying him on my back

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 16:38, Reply)
Not insanely dangerous stunts?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:03, Reply)
don't be ridiculous

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 16:38, Reply)
morning
Alt: quite a bit.

Alt alt- Primal Scream and Depeche Mode when they toured together.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:49, Reply)
You should all go google the blackbirds latin name.
The Tibetian blackbird is the best.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:49, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:50, Reply)
Which one, Rusty Lee?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:51, Reply)
nah, that Denise off EastEnders.
I definitely would, innit.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:52, Reply)
Poor Grace
If she read this she would be heartbroken
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:53, Reply)
Floellacus Benjaminacus

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:52, Reply)
What do you call four dogs and a blackbird?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:56, Reply)
spice girls?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:56, Reply)
No, a really shit zoo

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:57, Reply)
I get this

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:57, Reply)
depnds on the cost getting in
if it's free then, well it's not bad value really
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:59, Reply)
It's £14 for a family ticket.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:59, Reply)
deffo shit zoo then

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:03, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:24, Reply)
Any time some poor doris gets drunk enough
I can't afford to be picky, so any time of day'll do.

Alt: I honestly don't know, I've never been pushed far enough.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:49, Reply)
Easy there Krambo

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:50, Reply)
Doris lols.
That's a West Country term isn't it?
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:55, Reply)
Anytime, da ladies love it.
Alt, would have to be something major.
Alt alt, B*witched
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:52, Reply)
What the fuck is 'sex'?
alt: critiquing my doctor who fanfiction

altalt: I'd hang out with robson and jerome they seem HAWT
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:52, Reply)
Sex is what happens when a girl gets drunk
and lets you stick your winky in her foofoo. Then you wiggle it around and then you both make faces.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:59, Reply)
Doesn't sound very hygienic.

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:00, Reply)
haha what
that's a thing?
a thing that real people do?
for realsies?
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:02, Reply)
Both
Alt: Quite a lot, I'm a calm person.

AltAlt: Foo Fighters, I'd rather like to hang round with Dave Grohl. I'd avoid Bring Me The Horizon, as their music is shit, and they're supposedly a bunch of bellends.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:54, Reply)
Yes please
Alt, Hurt the sprogs and I'll kick off other than that I will do my best to avoid violence
AltAlt, Not the Levellers again, they were wankers
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:55, Reply)
I think he-man can look after himself

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:59, Reply)
I have no male heirs

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:59, Reply)
Neither does Al!
BALD
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:00, Reply)
you have girl spunk

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:03, Reply)
You gotta think of manly things, like big fat penises when you're intercoursing, in order to have male babies

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:14, Reply)
Bit late now
They don't work anymore
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:17, Reply)
yeah but you kept some in a special place 'just in case' right?
fling that at her and shout about willies, should do the trick
I should know I am a medical doctor
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:18, Reply)
Not if Emvee gets hold his figurine

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:04, Reply)
i had to move to the spare room after the rank couple next door started going at it, at 1am
she clearly fakes it, and he squeals like a pig. rank.

alt: rudeness/pikeyness

altalt: snow patrol. i bloody love lightbody.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 14:59, Reply)
I have never had noisy sex neighbours
true story
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:02, Reply)
that's because although they can't see you, they know that you're next door, lurkin
and it puts them off
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:05, Reply)

lurkin

wanking
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:06, Reply)
en francias
uh hee, uh hee, ooooor
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:07, Reply)
When I lived in your homeland my neighbour used to squeal 'oui' over and over into the night
Either that or some fat bloke watched a lot of porn
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:08, Reply)
i once had to write to a tenant to tell him to turn his dirty videos down
as the other residents in the block were sick of it
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:12, Reply)
Was this before or after you watched porn on your laptop with the sound up and your flatmate heard?
Because, you know, hypocrisy.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:13, Reply)
2 mins of yawning and wondering what all the fuss was about does not really count as "watching porn"
porn is for blokes. girls just go, eeeeeurgh, you can see her stubble rash and, yep she's faking it.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:15, Reply)
Yeah women just go nuts with the Argos catalogue
Page 376, check the blades on that blender, phwoar
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:16, Reply)

Argos Greggs.

blades on that blender pies sold by that bender
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:19, Reply)
this is actually pretty good
for a rancid little cunt
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:24, Reply)
We had a simular experience with some young student girl that moved next door to me
She must have been inexperienced because the amount of noise she used to make, in the end I set up Canned applause on a loop and played it when ever she got noisey.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:08, Reply)
I'd bang on the wall on the off-beat, I think.
Or yell "Go on, son, have at her"
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:12, Reply)
That's what I'd be tempted to do
'stick it up her arse'
'bit her tits'
'cum in her eye'

etc.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:13, Reply)
She was a mental bint often see crying and chasing down the street after her one night stands

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:15, Reply)
An alternative would have been to score her & the chap she was with out of ten & leave a note under her door telling her score.
6/10 - next time lick his balls.

etc.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:17, Reply)
heheehee
I wish I had thought of that, but it sounds a bit Gonzy
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:20, Reply)
My son was about 7 years old at the time, how the fuck do you try to explain the noise?
The applause on a loop soon shut her the fuck up
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:14, Reply)
It's a good tactic, that

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:17, Reply)
Worked like a fucking treat + plus my son couldn't hear her at it

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:20, Reply)
For £11K a year service charges they should be allowed to shag on the fucking stairs

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:16, Reply)
and expect the janitor to lick up any residual "secretions"

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:19, Reply)

janitor porter, apparently.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:23, Reply)
Unstrikes Jan
+et street
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:27, Reply)
Wanna fuck?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:29, Reply)
It's like we are twins or summat twocoof

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:38, Reply)

or street
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:28, Reply)
You must have shit walls up there

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:18, Reply)
Both
alt: real threat to family or friends, esp kids. Most parents would kill if it was the only way to protect their child I think.

altalt: Queen for the party, avoid Oasis like the plague.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:01, Reply)
Liz would have the cash for a decent bash, but tbh I reckon Phil would be better fun

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:06, Reply)
I bet he knows more dodgy jokes, too

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:08, Reply)
he's basically monty in 20 years after winning the lottery

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:18, Reply)
What Dead?
when did he die?
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:22, Reply)
what's sex?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:21, Reply)

1. Get ferry to Amsterdam
2. Window shop
3. ????
4. -Profit
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:22, Reply)
it's what your step dad was doing to you during your "bonding time"

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:23, Reply)

Fuckaduck
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:24, Reply)
Click

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:25, Reply)
That thing your uncle used to do to you and warn you not to tell anyone

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:23, Reply)
what you do with your hamster
is what most people do with one another
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:23, Reply)
you can fit whole people into your arse?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:25, Reply)
battered I could understand, but there's no way dozer's feet are going in there

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:25, Reply)
unless he kicks off his sunday shoes

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:26, Reply)
i was dumbing it down for him

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:25, Reply)
Zorbing

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:26, Reply)
look, will you quit the flirting
I don't do fingers or fat birds, just leave it, ok?
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:26, Reply)
You don't do fingers?
What, as in fingerbangs?
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:33, Reply)
He only likes a good hard fist up his anus
None of that weaksauce finger shite
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:34, Reply)
Something something Kit-Kat

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:46, Reply)
oh man I meant gingers

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:42, Reply)
I prefer morning, then a nice shower after. nothing worse than sleeping in the sweaty semen wet patch.
Alt: well, we know this.

Altalt: I'd love to hang out with the guys from clutch.
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:40, Reply)

in the with a bellyfull of
wet patch
(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:42, Reply)
NEW FUCKING THREAD THIS ONES DIRE

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:41, Reply)
DO BETTER THEN. NOW! IF YOUSE GOTS THE CO-JONES

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:43, Reply)
Aint you to busy looking at the clock getting ready to go home?

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:45, Reply)
HAHA Stomped like a little bitch

(, Fri 3 May 2013, 15:44, Reply)

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