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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good morning
It's a miserable rainy morning up here today, so come in, take off your wet clothes and join the merriment.


(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 8:35, 336 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
* Nakeds *
* Cavorts Merrily*

Morning all!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 8:37, Reply)
Morning Fireflier
Didn't expect you to be soaked to the skin...

I'll turn up the heating a bit though.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 8:42, Reply)
Mornings all
It actually seems to be dry here just now, which I find rather surprising.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 8:48, Reply)
Still wringing things out after that past few days
it's been fairly moist here - and not in a good way. However, today the sun is shining, the birds are singing and...

Hang on a moment. That's not my life - I appear to have stepped into a disney cartoon.

* Locks and loads and goes looking for Bambi *
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 8:49, Reply)
Morning PoD
Aren't you somewhere around Dumfries? It's never dry there! Eskdalemuir's the rainiest place in the world (OK, maybe just Scotland) isn't it?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 8:49, Reply)
Indeed I am
And it certainly hasn't been very dry of late, so it will probably start raining again soon.

Yesterday was an incredibly sunny day in the morning, and then raining cats and dogs at night
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 8:53, Reply)
'Ning
*waves*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 8:55, Reply)
morning kids
what is up?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 8:56, Reply)
Good day, chaps
How goes it?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 8:57, Reply)
Morning Vipros and Knifey one
I have a late start today :)

Well, by late I mean 11. Which means leaving just after 10 to go get a bus. Hmm.

I hate work.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 8:57, Reply)
See, I get to leave work
At 12.
Then I'm going to see ancrenne.
Woo!
*excited*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:01, Reply)
Damn you
I start at 11, work until 6, come home and collapse.

And it's just started raining here. Woot.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:05, Reply)
Awh,
That's a bit rubbish Mr. PoD.
If it helps any, I'll likely miss the QOTW changeover.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:06, Reply)
Well, I've already been at work
for about an hour. Not that I've actually done a great deal yet, mind you.

I do have stuff to do, I'm just 'time-managing' at the moment.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:07, Reply)
I didn't
Need to come in today, but it's a few hours more pay, essentially for sitting on b3ta.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:09, Reply)
I will have lots to do
As soon as I arrive at work.

And I will also miss the changeover, as I shall be working.

Plus you get a positive in getting to see ancrenne. My positive to look forward to is leaving work at the end of my shift.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:10, Reply)
My positives are
~Driving to Brighton with my two best mates, rocking out to a pair of fantastic CDs I made.

~Meeting ancrenne when we get there.

~Spending the night drinking and dancing in various pubs and finishing up in a metal club.

~Going to the knife shop on Friday.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:13, Reply)
Pah, Work!
I've been sitting in front of the computer for the last hour and a half. I'm on a conference call just now, and I'll have nothing worthwhile to do for the rest of the day...

I suspect I might be posting slightly more than normal today...
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:13, Reply)
That's a good thing though
Mr. Fireflier, we don't see enough of you!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:15, Reply)
* Refers Mr. Kaol to the 2nd post in this thread *
* Realises that everyone can see rather too much of me *

* Gets dressed hurridly - too hurridly *

* Pants on head *
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:18, Reply)
How I long
For a job sitting in front of a computer all day. It may be boring, but I don't care.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:18, Reply)
Computer-based job is ok
But I'll end up having a heart attack by the time I'm 25 at this rate.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:19, Reply)
Come on Kaol
Examples of killer tracks on the mix CDs please!

Also, good morning everyone!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:22, Reply)
Erm...
Birdsong - Tomahawk
WYSIWYG - Pitchshifter
The Bloodening - Johnny Truant
Space Lord - Monster Magnet

I can't remember many more!
I think there was some Converge on there, and some Killswitch Engage.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:30, Reply)
Yay for mix CDs!
For those who didn't sign-up to this year's randomburn (http://www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/13118) - I thoroughly recommend you do it next year (if it's running). Nicely eclectic selection of music and you're bound to find something new you like.

EDIT: My contribution was this,
Apologies for the overuse of papyrus font (I know it's a design faux-pas, but it was appropriate to the whedon-isti nature)
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:31, Reply)
*Nods in appreciation*
Off to see Converge next Thursday in Sheffield.
May well get hurt.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:32, Reply)
Ooooh!
Enjoy!
I've not seen them before, but heard they're good live.

I'm going to see Johnny Truant at the end of the month, yay!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:37, Reply)
Morning ancrenne
How did things go yesterday? Well, I hope.

It seems to be getting rainier here. I don't wanna have to walk down to the bus.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:39, Reply)
Good morning!
I got in early this morning, as I had to try and avoid as much of the rush-hour as possible, because I am transporting...PIE!

It's my father's birthday today, so I'm going home at lunchtime, and have cooked him a birthday pie (Key Lime Pie, with added ginger for an extra zing). However, transporting the damn thing from Camberwell to Chiswick, whilst keeping it flat, is a complete bugger. Especially when I'm also carrying a large book and a bottle of Glenturret for him. Roll on lunchtime...

Anyway, that is my tale of transport this morning. How are we all?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:42, Reply)
Hey ancrenne!
@Kaol

I had tickets to see them last year over my birthday weekend but went down to Bristol to see a uni mate instead as her birthday's a few days after mine.

Also got Clutch next month and Meshuggah in September. Yay!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:42, Reply)
Oh...
It's you :p
Morning!

Sounds good BK!
I've not got any gigs lined up other than JT and Vipros' band.
Might have a gig of my own soon though, woo!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:43, Reply)
that's great ancrenne
*hugs for success*

I'm proud of you ;-)
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:43, Reply)
Yay, sustenance!
I am ok, but I would rather be asleep, have to go to work soon, and my wrist is more ruined than ever this morning.

What joys.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:45, Reply)
What have you done
To your wrist, young man?
Too much midnight action?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:47, Reply)
Too much
Drumming, guitar, bass, typing and working.

Working is making it worse than ever.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:48, Reply)
Guitar, bass AND drums.?
Talented man, PoD.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:51, Reply)
And the piano too, BK
But I don't have easy access to one.

I should really find a more productive outlet for my talents.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:53, Reply)
PoD
It's ok, just keep working that wrist, it'll burn out the pain nerves sooner or later.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:58, Reply)
Hmm
Ancrenne's advice - I may follow. I have a wrist support that I put on whenever I'm sitting about at home.

Kaol's advice - I will also follow, but only 'cos I enjoy playing, and not because I actually want to deliberately do more damage.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:59, Reply)
Morning kids
I've been most productive this morning; posted a PDA for eBay and got more nicotine patches which I fully intend to make use of very soon.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 9:59, Reply)
I know what you mean PoD
I seem to have a talent for slicing my fingers open, the day before I'm going to be having a band practice.

You just have to work through it.

EDIT: Morning Becky, bye ancrenne
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:00, Reply)
ugh
i am so hungover. why didn't i go home at 9.30 and be sensible? no, no, i thought staying out drinking til 2.30 would be the way forwards...

wish i had someone to yell at to make myself feel better. shame one of the /talk twats isn't a lawyer on the other side. i would enjoy that! "i think you'll find, mr amorousbadger, that there is no such statute as the 'your mum act 1998'" .

oh well, bring on the cold fizzy sweet coke and nurofen. it's too bad for food. any other patented work hangover cures??
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:01, Reply)
Hangover cure?
More alcohol?
OR...
Russian Coffee.
OR...
Eat a tomato.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:03, Reply)
a TOMATO?
how does that work? not heard that one before.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:05, Reply)
@rswipe
you can't go wrong with alka-seltzer

settles your stomach long enough to get a bacon sandwich in it and gets rid of your headache.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:07, Reply)
hey Rswipe
How did you sort out the shirt situation last night?

Hangover cure: can of ginger beer (ginger's great for hangovers), and a chicken salad sandwich/wrap/baguette. Works every time. Meaty enough to satisfy cravings (fnarr), but not greasy enough to induce nausea.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:07, Reply)
Tomatoes
Are rich in thiamine, which is vital in metabolising alcohol in the liver.

So, eat a fresh tomato or two, and it'll ensure your liver operates at a decent rate.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:08, Reply)
Hi everyone.
Good morning and hello world.


@Rswipe - Berrocca is always a good choice for hangovers.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:10, Reply)
And how did bowling go?
Ive made it to the bus stop. I really hate rain.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:10, Reply)
interesting
might have to check the tomato thing out. although i do hate them. nothing should be chewy, slimy and crunchy all in one mouthful! but maybe the little cherry ones are ok.

bobf - a scarf purloined from my absent roommate's desk covered the dirty dirtypillows nicely, ta!

POD - good thanks, we made it to the semi's. it was a really cute place, a mini private alley off the main bowling thing, with its own bar. also the winner left his champagne, so i - er - inherited it...

baguette, you say. hmmmm. subway...
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:11, Reply)
Cherry tomatoes will do the job.
You'll need to eat 5 or 6.

Dunno if it'll make you feel noticably better, but it's a good long-term strategy.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:13, Reply)
Morning all!
Tragically, I thought it was Friday when I awoke. And, to add insult to injury, O2 are sold out of iPhone.

*Apple Whore*

Anyway, at least the sun is shining! Are we all well?

Note for the Swipester: A Mars Bar and a Lucozade are foolproof. Or a cheeseburger from Wimpey.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:13, Reply)
Rswipe
"nothing should be chewy, slimy and crunchy all in one mouthful!" - you probably wouldn't be a fan of hot and spicy jellyfish then (they serve it for dim sum in some places), which is a pity, because it's delicious. Hot and spicy, but served ice cold, sliced up into long thin strips. Nom.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:16, Reply)
Bob
Where can I get that? Sounds amazing!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:17, Reply)
@Kaol
Laureate on Shaftesbury Ave. Just opposite Les Mis I think. It does fantastic garlic & chilli tripe, curried whelks and all the more mainstream dim sum dishes as well.

Egg yolk buns are particularly to die for.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:19, Reply)
Yay another tomato hater :)
I also don't mind the cherry ones though.

Iphones are rubbish. Everything made by apple is rubbish DiT. Resist the urge and get a crackberry instead :)
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:25, Reply)
Bugger
had to speak with real people there for a while. Now then:

@ancrenne - well done on yesterday. Told you you'd be OK once you stood up and started speaking.

@rswipe - Irn Bru, if you can find it in London. Works every time. Although the tomatoes sound like a better long term idea.

@everyone else - good morning, if I haven't already said so.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:25, Reply)
To die for?
That's quite a claim!
I've got so much to live for, and I'm so young...
I'll leave trying them for a while...
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:28, Reply)
Ning K2k6!
Apple is not rubbish, Becky. I LURVE my imac. And my macbook.

I did like your vision zen thingy though.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:31, Reply)
MAAAAAAACCCCCCCBBBBBEEEEEEEETTTTTTTHHHHHHHH!
Sorry.

Yeah, Apple are ok.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:33, Reply)
Trust me DiT
There are other far superior phones to the iphone that wont break as easily that you can put whatever software on you want and not invalidate the guarantee. I think one of the best is one by LG
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:34, Reply)
^ What DiT said
Apple do make good stuff. It works well, and looks nice although does cost a bit more. That said, I've no desire for an iPhone. It's too much of a Jack of all trades.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:35, Reply)
@rachelswipe
Yeah Irn Bru works great, it works even better if you can get it in a glass bottle. I don't know why though, can anybody fill me in on that one?

@Everybody else Good morning you lovely lot.

EDIT @DiT It's a bitch, nobody's gonna have any from what I hear, they're all going to pre-orders. I too am an Apple Whoretm
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:35, Reply)
I think I feel that way because
the ibook I used recently was 10 years old, had to be plugged in at all times and have the net plugged in and couldn't play dvd's or youtube at all as it was so old.

If I got a free one I'd get used to it though ;)
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:38, Reply)
As a complete and utter gadget geek...
I will take your comments, and respect your right to your opinion.

But I'll still get an iPhone. :) I'm not all that interested in putting extra software on it, it'll play music and be a phone. I have a camera to be a camera, and I have a laptop for movies and work stuff.

EDIT: Herr Doktor, you may get lucky at a shop tomorrow morning at 0802? I'm just gonna ring O2, prolly have to wait a couple of weeks but what the hell!

EDIT: I am impervious to your attacks now, Kaol. *shield of steel*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:38, Reply)
Steel shield eh?
*sends rust-monkeys*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:40, Reply)
Looks like there's three HOMOs on the Board so far...
Honourable Order of Mac Owners, that is... ;)

(*rust proofs self*)

EDIT: Thanks, Al!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:47, Reply)
Fair do's
if you're already a fan of their stuff it'd be harder to persuade you otherwise, so I shant. Hope you like it when you get it :)

I use my creative zen for watching films and listening to music at work when it's quiet as bringing in my laptop would be a bit OTT ,)

Edit: I'm off to work, see you all later :)
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:48, Reply)
^Argh!
Thanks, al. Thal.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:50, Reply)
One Hour. Ten Minutes.
Then I'm going home.
Woo! Pointless Thursday!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:52, Reply)
I suspect
that there will be a higher proportion of us Mac users here, than in the general public. Possibly because we're smarter here.

*digs out iridium battle shield*

*waits for flaming*

Bugger! This thing's heavy.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 10:53, Reply)
@Al
you weapons-grade, high-priority, high-flying piss-ant

I go at least 6 months without losing the game, and it happens twice in a few weeks. damn you
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:00, Reply)
@Al
I liked the prog rock style GIGANTACOCK theme there. Good one.

Emerson, Lake and Palmer would be proud of that.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:04, Reply)
I just don't get it.
I come into work every day on time and never miss a day and they still make me do jobs. Why can't they just leave me to get on with chatting on B3ta.

It's getting me down : (
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:04, Reply)
*joins Al*
*plays 25 minute, self indulgent synth solo, upside down*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:09, Reply)
Oh!
Knives! And bass solo?
*goes funking crazy*

P.S. 50 minutes :p
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:09, Reply)
is it a
Hammond Organ?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:09, Reply)
i am a Vodaclone/Vodadrone (am employed by Vodafone)
and was hoping to get away from the subject of phones....but hey.
How is everyone?
@ Becky - the crackberry Thunder is out around september as a competitor for the iPhone...it may or may not be exclusive to the aforementioned network in case you wanted a heads up :oP
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:13, Reply)
@Bob
Yes, it's a B3, donchaknow!

Hello, baby kitten. Or should that be meow? Or meep, for Legless's benefit.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:14, Reply)
Hello baby_kitten
I've not seen you about before.
Thus you must take the Test.
Please answer the following questions:

Would you rather go into space, or have a robot arm?

If you could learn any one skill, what would it be?

Chinese food or curry?

Frogs or toads?

If you were locked in a room with Russell Brand, a tiger and a pair of scissors, what would you do?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:16, Reply)
@Kaol
You forgot the one about the laser satellite!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:17, Reply)
k2k6, my Dear....
The questions are subject to change.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:18, Reply)
I just asked my colleague if I could borrow his eraser
he threw it to me from his desk 4 metres away and it landed straight in my full pint glass without even hitting the rim.

pretty impressive.

edit: what skills would you all want?

I'd like to be able to play the piano really well...
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:18, Reply)
Vipros
You have a pint?
It's not even twelve!

EDIT: Fuck off back to /talk, althegeordie, you twat.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:19, Reply)
the beauty of working for a dutch company
:-D
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:20, Reply)
Good morning all.
Just thought I'd stop by and say hello.
I've just put the kettle on. Tea anyone?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:21, Reply)
@Kaol
Yeah, I know. But I liked that question because it involved careful thought, consideration of knock on effects, and killing someone with a laser.

In space.

What's not to like?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:22, Reply)
Good Ning
my garrulous chums.

ancrenne - glad the talk went ok!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:23, Reply)
Wanderlust...
I could go for a hot coffee...
*grins*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:23, Reply)
100!
Because I'm better that all of you...

This makes me the King of Off Topic, by the way.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:23, Reply)
'ning all...

When is the cocking Unexplained QOTW going to change?

*chomps at bit*

I am starving...Anybody got any chow they can throw my way?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:24, Reply)
*throws fishheads into Gay Pond*
Sorry, what?
Oh... Yeah...
*offers Mars bar to Pooflake*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:25, Reply)
*Eats Fishheads*

Cheers!

*saves mars bar for ...erm...private time*

*lubes*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:26, Reply)
coffee
is on it's way.
Ohh look. It's cake o'clock.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:27, Reply)
answers:
-robot arm
-Ray Mears stylee bushcraft
-chinese
-frogs

will that do?
the air con's broken here, it's horrible, how can i cool down without tipping water all over myself? I bet Ray Mears would know what to do. hmph.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:29, Reply)
You missed the bonus question b_k...
"If you were locked in a room with Russell Brand, a tiger and a pair of scissors, what would you do?"

Re: aircon, Mr. Mears would piss on a rag, then put it on himself allowing evaporation to cool his hide.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:32, Reply)
27 minutes.
I feel a bit bad that all I've done today of use was shout at someone down the phone.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:34, Reply)
b_k
welcome to al's pictorial world
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:36, Reply)
re: the Russell Brand dilemma
having met the man and knowing that he is a twunt, i would use my Ray Mears skills to have a chat with the tiger, persuade the tiger to pin him down and breath hot meaty cat-breath at him while i cut all his hair off with the scissors. Then i think i'd just leave him there crying while me and the tiger went for a pint.

is that good enough? i like psychological testy things, what do you think this says about me?.....that i'm bored probably.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:38, Reply)
Al, I'm shocked
I'm in no way a dirty pervert like you.

*looks around for ancrenne*

Where're those pictures?


EDIT: b_k: That's a fantastic answer!
Extra points for "hot, meaty cat breath".
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:39, Reply)
@Al
Hey, I object to being referred to as the lowest common denominator. Well, it's actually just the 'common' bit.

Anyway, I wouldn't suggest that baby_kitten pours water over her clothes. That would be silly, and uncomfortable.

She should take them all off instead
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:39, Reply)
Greetings! Greenthings!
How are we this morning?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:40, Reply)
A new book by B3tans...
"The Russell Brand Question"

Sort of like 'The God Delusion', but with multiple articles detailing just how we would deal with him.

DiT Publishing Ltd, Part of DiT Enterprises.

Come work for me! Together we shall take over the world!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:42, Reply)
Well, if she is
I might have a less fun time in Brighton than anticipated... *plans on not throwing up on himself*

Nah, she's fantastic, she'd just laugh, then have some gin *smiles*

EDIT: DiT: It's my question, you thief!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:43, Reply)
i like it here
it's like an on screen pub.
i may start smuggling alky-hol into work and just do this all day.

re: the air con - it's now working and it's bloody nippy. In both senses of the word. This place is ridiculous.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:44, Reply)
.
"*plans on not throwing up on himself*"

Awww.... How sweet of you.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:45, Reply)
Air Con
Don't even get me started, have had days off ill due to the air-con in this place :(
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:45, Reply)
@b_k
Welcome to our world. Judging by your comments above, you'll fit right in!

Cake?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:45, Reply)
Whens the next
southern fairy b3ta meeting then?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:47, Reply)
air con
is a pain in the arse

fortunately I was elected to be in charge of it in our office, so I just make sure I'm comfortable :-)

I'm hungry. what's for lunch?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:48, Reply)
I'll credit you, Kaol.
Or just have a big picture of your face on the inside of the front cover.

In fact, on every page you could press a button and it would read out the page in your voice.

I dunno, I'm just an ideas man. The boffins will make it happen!

/to the sciencemobile!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:49, Reply)
@Vipros
I'm currently stewing (teehee) over whether to have a sandwich van sandwich, or a Tesco sandwich...
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:51, Reply)
The sciencemobile?
I'm going to be in a silver VW polo with myself (a zoologist), a bio-chemist and 15 cans of cider to drink on the way.
We're making the graphic designer drive.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:51, Reply)
@Kaol
The graphic designer will take the scenic route though!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:52, Reply)
cake cake cake
wonderful...beats the canteen slop anyhow!
also would fit in brilliantly with my excercise program....this involves eating what the hell i like with my toning belt thingummy on. i'm sure it doesn't work, it just makes me feel safe in the knowledge that i am doing something vaguely constructive whilst sitting on my arse :o).
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:54, Reply)
I imagine...

the sciencemobile being like Professor Pat Pending's Convert-a-car from the wacky races.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:55, Reply)
@Ethelred
The next Southern bash will be in London on either the 22nd or 23rd of july. Still not bloody sure about the date. GAAAAAAH!

On the 26th of July, there's an Exeter bash where you get to see Vipros's band play. The day afterwards, there's a train bash for people going back in the direction of London.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:55, Reply)
15 cans of cider?
Don't throw up on yourself again, will you?

*mothers*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:55, Reply)
Lady BobFossil, Empress of the Universe
Is bored.

Entertain me, lackeys.

Chop chop!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:56, Reply)
Oh Spak
still not sure? What on earth's going on at that place?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 11:56, Reply)
@Herr Spakka
Sounds intriguing!

Might have to pop along on the 22/23 bash and flex my pecks for the manladies.

*twiddles moustache with gleeness.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:01, Reply)
@Bob
*sits down at piano*

*starts playing 'Summertime'*

Entertained yet? Join in if you like. It's probably better than our indulgent prog rock further up the thread.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:04, Reply)
I think cake is in order...
Boss just comes up to me wanting to "have a word"
I panic, thinking I've done something wrong.
Turns out they want me to stop being a temp, train me up to be supervisor and pay me A LOT more a year.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:06, Reply)
@wanderlust
Congrats :)
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:07, Reply)
@k2k6
*joins in*

*sneaks wah-wah pedal in*

*progs*

*rocks*

edit: congrats wanderlust!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:08, Reply)
*Bows deeply to Lady Fossil*
O, your Fossilness, O supreme majesty, O wond'rous being, O malevolent ruler! Please accept this small performance as our way of showing our unbounded joy at your rule!

*hulas*
*limbos*

AND NOW:

*Gladiates*

EDIT: WOO! Well done, lusty!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:08, Reply)
@Al
Did you just eat the kitten's "cucumber"? Oooh dear. Poor kitty.

You've never met me, so for all you know I could look like Jabba the Hutt. I don't actually (apparently I did when I was born though), but due to the size of the Royal Norks, I'm no stick insect.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:09, Reply)
Thank you
*grins*
My mate called me this morning aswell and asked if I wanted to go to Australia for a year.
I'm thinking of taking the job and quitting in a few months. But don't tell anyone!
My tummy feels all funny now, I need a cup of tea and a nice sit down.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:09, Reply)
.
@BobFossil: Would me dancing on the tables naked be suficient?

@clendrix: All I found out yesterday is that the managing director is due back and has a lot of catching up to do. That and the technical director may still be off sick. If I don't hear anything by the end of today, I may just end up picking a date anyway.

EDIT: Yay wanderlust!
Take the job and think about quitting later. Your CV will thank you for it.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:09, Reply)
*stumbles in out of rain*
hola tout le monde!

how are we all today?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:10, Reply)
Yaaaay!
*accepts tributes*

Fear me, puny mortals. Else I shall force all in the universe to listen to Anne Widdicombe singing "James Blunt's Greatest Hits" for all eternity.

Bwahahahaaa!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:10, Reply)
Tulip!
yay!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:11, Reply)
Hey HLT
I'm good thanks, how the devil are you?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:11, Reply)
congratumalations wanderlust :o)
excellent stuff.

i've been promoted this week too. My title now is 'slightly more important than i was before phone monkey'.

lovely. pay rises are excellent but getting taxed more than you're used to is not.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:12, Reply)
Bonjour petite tulipe heureuse
Ça va?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:12, Reply)
Oh, and...
naked table dancing is acceptable.

In fact, it's encouraged.

My universe will be a happy, naked dancing universe, full of prog rockers, metallers, goths and classical musicians (no r&b though, as it's shit).

It will also be full of burlesque, corsets, feathers (oooh tickly, hehe), kittens, Key Lime Pie, gin and single malts.

Best. Universe. Ever. FACT.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:12, Reply)
Excellent news
Wanderlust. Good on you.

Did you like the prog rock version of the Gershwin classic then, Bob?

*notes mention of Bob's norks for future reference*

@HLT - good morningafternoon. It's a tad soggy in the Borders too, then? It's pissing down here in Dundee.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:13, Reply)
I don't know about everyone else...
But I for one welcome our new Fossil Overlord.

*hopes for a position of seniority from where he can see the nakedness*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:14, Reply)
Afternoon
Is this where all the cool kids are hanging out? Mind if an old bugger like me joins?

Hello Wanderlust - congrats!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:14, Reply)
Welcome DG
You're never to old to hang out with the cool kids.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:15, Reply)
@K626
Loved it. You can be the Royal Master of Music. Your uniform consists of a hat. Wear it well.

DiT: you can be court jester. Your uniform consists of a hat. Enjoy.

By Royal Decree, all court employees will wear as little as possible. Yes, I'm a filthy pervert. You love it.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:16, Reply)
Seeing the old QOTW's still open
Anyone fancy giving a serious answer to this post? So far, it's full of trolls.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:16, Reply)
@Bob Fossil
May I be Royal Back-Scratcher?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:18, Reply)
I almost posted a crude answer
to that question, spakka. But I decided against it. And I couldn't think of a serious one.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:18, Reply)
'allo!
Oui, je suis tres contente mais il pleut...

and i need lots of red wine to become fluent in french.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:18, Reply)
@ Bobfossil...

May I be Royal Front-Scratcher?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:20, Reply)
Ethelred
That depends on the length of your nails, scratching technique etc. I'd have to audition you for the post.

And see what you look like wearing nowt but a pretty hat.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:21, Reply)
Thanks DG
@Ms Fossil. Your universe sounds amazing.
Hurrah for gin and naked dancing!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:21, Reply)
*capers*
Thanks, Mistress! I loves me new hat!

*jests*

*hopes to continue being funny to avoid incurring the Ladys wrath and therefore being flayed alive*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:21, Reply)
@HLT
Wasn't your first comment of the day a bit multilingual?

And I've only got Australian red, so I'm afraid I can't help with your French speaking.

I may however be able to assist with other French things, like polishing, kissing and letters.

Edit: *plays thrash metal/jazz fusion version of Beethoven's 9th to keep Bob happy*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:22, Reply)
Pooflake and Al.
You can be the Royal cat-scratchers.

Cat, not pussy. You filth-mongers.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:22, Reply)
DiT
I'd never flay you alive if you displeased me. I am, after all, a lovely kind Empress.

I'll confiscate your hat though.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:23, Reply)
.
* Looks forawrd to BobFossil's universe *

* Heads over to give BobFossil a lap-dance *

@K2k6: Have you ventured onto /talk only to be semi-hypnotised?

@HLT: Zut alors! La pluie c'est merde!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:24, Reply)
Bob
I shall not disappoint.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:25, Reply)
Bob
In your naked universe, can I still wear my flappy coat? It's kind of a trademark, y'see, and I'd be lost without it.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:25, Reply)
@spakka
I tend to avoid /talk these days, as it's too frenetic and fierce for me.

This is much cosier.

And there's plenty here to hypnotise me... :-)
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:27, Reply)
DG
Certainly you can.

I shall install wind machines ensuring that it flaps all the time.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:27, Reply)
Hooray!
Thanks Bob. You truly are a benevolent empress. I shall impress everyone as I stand with my coat flapping manically in the wind.

*Happies*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:32, Reply)
Afternoon all!
So, what's happen'in the the b3tahood today?

Fo' shizzle.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:32, Reply)
I've gone
Bye!
Catch you monday!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:33, Reply)
misterspakkaman
the trolling pissed me off a bit at first because it's so repetitive, but now i find it funny. i wonder how many of them i could get to trash me, and how quickly, if i posted something about getting sunburn on my baps and inner thighs and not quiiiiiiiite being able to reach all of it with soothing scented lotion... be like an arms race!

edit - sorry bert, it was meant to be a tongue in cheek reply to this, not a post on its own. your reply went down with the deleted ship!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:34, Reply)
Sup Bert
Hows it hanging dawg?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:34, Reply)
Ta-ta, Kaol
It's not fair, i join this thread, hoping to re-unite the alBert Kaol, but now he's been and gone and done and buggered off.

:C

@Rswipe I assumed as much

DDDDDDIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVEEEEEEE!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:34, Reply)
@bert
BobFossil has declared herself Empress of the Universe and I'm dancing naked on the table and DG is wearing his flappy coat. So things are pretty normal today.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:36, Reply)
@spakkaman
Ah, well I wouldn't have it any other way.

@al You betcha! Have you looked? You have, haven't you? Shown the Mrs? Did she ask, 'why isn't yours like that one? -yours is all lumpy and tastes like curdled porridge.'
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:38, Reply)
There, there, al
I love your lumpy porridge cock.

*cuddles*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:40, Reply)
can't keep up with you all today
so I'm off for a bit.

*notes offer of french things from k2k6*

*slopes off into rain*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:41, Reply)
@al
I shall shave for you then.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:42, Reply)
.
@rachelswipe
I usually just ignore the trolls without putting them on ignore. It's just I was hoping someone would give a serious answer to my post. There's so many good posters here that the trolls just drown in a sea of eloquent well-written posts. For some reason, there’ve been more trolls these past two weeks.

EDIT: Au revoir petite tulipe heureuse.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:42, Reply)
With brown sauce?
Kittins in brown sauce is better than sex.

That's not me, my fuzziness was recently removed. You're cuddling GIGANTACOCK.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:43, Reply)
Right, best be off
Work to do :-(
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:45, Reply)
I only
have a couple of people on Ignore. The rest I just filter out mentally.

Auf weidersehen, HLT. No, wait, that's not French, is it?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:46, Reply)
EVERYBODY'S BUGGERING OFF
They don't like me anymore. :C

Bye tulip, bye-bye D's G

*sniffs*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:46, Reply)
@Bert
I'm still here.
How are you today anyway Sir? Well I hope.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:48, Reply)
@al
Wow, that theme tune has come along a bit since I last heard it. Someone should write lyrics.

EDIT Very good, thank you Lady Lust, and how be your good, cake-wielding self?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:48, Reply)
*joins in*
(with extra 70s porn-style guitar)

wakaa wakaa waaaaaka, wah wah waaaaaah!

*bass solo*

Bum digga digga bum bum bum buuum (etc etc)

*continues for next half an hour*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:49, Reply)

*Saxophone solo*

You can't have 70s porn Electric Guitar, without cheesy Saxophone solos.

*Saxomaphones*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:51, Reply)
200?
EDIT: Yeah!

*celebrates*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:52, Reply)
200?
...PERSIANS, COME AND GET THEM!

/confuses numbers hilariously
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:53, Reply)
I'm very well
Just enjoying all the theme tune sheningans.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:53, Reply)
I'm afraid I've got to be off as well
It's the Royal Father's 64th today, and one has made him a pie for his pudding. So we (the Royal one, naturally) have to haul one's arse off to Cambridge, pie in hand. Just after one finishes these stock reports.

Toodle-pip, one shall see you all tomorrow, my loyal, sexy, naked dancing subjects.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:53, Reply)
Cheerio Queen Bob.
@wanderlust Join in! Write some lyrics for GIGANTACOCK please.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:54, Reply)
I've missed the sexy naked dancing?
*sulks*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:55, Reply)
News just in:
mini cheddars are not a substantial lunch.

Hello Bert, i'm new :o) generally lurking though, not sure if i passed the initiation interrogation earlier!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:55, Reply)
Farewell, Empress Bob
*stands up from behind piano and salutes*

*waves*

Edit - BGB, you can dance naked if you like. It's not too late.

Ready al?

*strikes up band*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:56, Reply)
*thinks of lyrics*
any words that have to be in there?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:57, Reply)
Hiya baby kitten
Welcome etc, steer clear of al though, he eats kittens for lunch.

EDIT and you're not a real QOTW member until you've posted some cliterature :D

@wanderlust Just GIGANTACOCK and lots of rousing, inspiring words please.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 12:59, Reply)
@b_k
to clarify, the posting of cliterature should be 500 words of pure pr0n.

(We may extend the 500 word limit if it's good!)

Examples can be found earlier on the Off Topic board.

But it's not an initiation. You're very welcome here regardless.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:03, Reply)
Goodbye levaers, hello arrivers
@BGB: I'm still dancing naked.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:04, Reply)
ooh-err
i'll work on that then. possibly not now at work though. i'll consult my good friend Dirk later and see what comes to mind.


in case you're wondering, Dirk is pink and glittery.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:05, Reply)
Yay!
*joins spakkaman in naked dancing*


*Puts bra back on as not a good sight*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:08, Reply)
@b_k
You're fitting in very well here....
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:08, Reply)
Btw spakkaman.
I've answered you post on qotw.

It's to do with pheromones.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:11, Reply)
@b k
:O

@al I love the Lamb, and the Allsop (not that I actually watch their shows), but haven't seen very much of the Beeny.

There really is nothing quite as satisfying as knocking one out over a glorified, televised estate agent, and then flicking over to a real TV show in the evening. Bliss.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:13, Reply)
.
”Dirk is pink and glittery”
Dirk … pink … reminds me of the Electric Monk.

@BGB: Nice piercings! * blinks * I can still see the outlines of the piercings through the fabric.

EDIT: Thanks for the serious reply.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:15, Reply)
Piercings?
I was wondering what that jingling sound was, I thought there was an army with pockets full of change marching by.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:17, Reply)
@ BGB
bollocks.

i bet it's an excellent sight. naked dancing rules, especially in the rain. not that we have much of a choice with the fabulous British summertime but hey ho.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:18, Reply)
@al
*kisses*

Save some of that tasty spunk for me too, will ya?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:26, Reply)
Hello again.
The monkeys here decided that they had some work for me to do. How dare they take me away from B3ta. On the upside though, my boss expected it at the end of next week, and I've finished it already. HA.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:28, Reply)
cha cha cha CHA!
Hows we alls?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:28, Reply)
Well MM
How's you this fine summers day?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:29, Reply)
We are
fine!

*speaks for all*
*hopes that's OK*

How are you?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:29, Reply)
Hello HDL and MM
HDL: Nice! More b3tatime for you.

MM: Me and BGB are dancing naked.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:30, Reply)
Herr Doktor
Ze day ist gut, danke. Unt you?

EDIT: Watch your eyes spak, those jubblies are lethal...
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:30, Reply)
'Noon MM
Is that a naked cha cha I see?

Naked dancing is the thing today. Spakka started it, but even BGB joined in.

Edit - as he's already said above.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:31, Reply)
And the good thing is
that I've not sent everyone into a hypnotic trance this time.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:31, Reply)
Trance?
*ride on times*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:33, Reply)

Waaaaaaaaah Wah Wa Wa Wa Waaaaaaaaah Wah!
Waaaaaaaaah Wah Wa Wa Wa Waaaaaaaaah Wah!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:35, Reply)
Hi everyone.
Yes I am dancing naked but I'm keeping my bra on.

There comes a time in a womens life when going bra-less when dancing is bad juju.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:35, Reply)
Talking of dancing naked
This is fantastic and very funny. It is also NSFW.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:35, Reply)
I'm not clicking another one of your links, MM
you're evil!

But I did once attend an exhibition at the Tate Modern, and there was a little enclosure where a video of a man jumping up and down and dancing around naked was being played, and lots of effeminate men in scarves seemed to be watching.
I shouted out, 'Earthworm Jim!' then left.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:38, Reply)
Nope.
it's a music video by the BPA, Dizee Rascal and Fatboy Slim, which has 70s style dancing with censored bits.

and al, don't think I hadn't noticed....
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:38, Reply)
@MM
Es gefällt mir gut, danke meine Dame.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:39, Reply)
@al
Did you call MM Bert? Heehee! We are very similar, in that we're slim and retarded at least. ;D
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:41, Reply)
I clicked!
It was fun!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:41, Reply)
I just got a warning about NSFW content.
Is it worth me registering a youtube account just to look at the video?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:42, Reply)
....
Who the fuck are you?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:42, Reply)
I clicked too
It's not really NSFW, in that nothing is actually shown, and the censorship bars cleverly become part of the video.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:43, Reply)
@BM You killed your evil twin,
don't you remember?

I think he's back for revenge.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:43, Reply)
I was very confused for a few minutes then.
I accidently went to last nights home sweet home post and couldn't find where I had left everyone.

*laughs*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:43, Reply)
GIGANTACOCK
70's porn-style guitar.
wakaa wakaa waaaaaka, wah wah waaaaaah

Deep, smooth, almost shatf like (sniggers) voice over:
In a world fraught with frustrated women. In a world where happy fun sexy times are limited to a quick fumble in an alley on the way home from the pub. There is one cock, one cock to satisfy them all.
Gigantacock.

saxaphone solo

more 70's porn guitar.

Gigantacock! Oh my, see him come.
Gigantacock! He'll even please your mum.
Gigantacock! He's not a huge fan of lace.
Gigantacock! He'll penetrate your face.
Gigantacock! He'll save the day.
Gigantacock! He isn't at all gay.





hmmm that's all I've got at the moment....
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:43, Reply)
*salsas*
Afternoon, MM!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:43, Reply)
I am the original
and the best.

EDIT:afternoon DiT and Wanderlust.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:44, Reply)
Brilliant wanderlust!
I'm giggling like a girl!

I especially love 'he'll penetrate your face'!

@other, evil imposter Bert

I'm going to find you, and when I do I'm going to fart on your head.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:45, Reply)
@spak
I'd say it's worth it. It's not really a shocking video or anything, just funny and really nicely done
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:45, Reply)
@wanderlust
That's fandabidozy.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:45, Reply)
Herr Doktor
are you really German? It's MM by the way.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:47, Reply)
@wanderlust
Excellent lyrics. Move over, Tim Rice.

Is there room for a Hammond organ solo anywhere? With knives in it, thrown by al?

Edit - 100, Woo! (in hexadecimal)
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:47, Reply)
@Wanderlust
That's brill.

I'll be singing that all afternoon now.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:48, Reply)
....
Anyone got any Sponge Fingers?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:50, Reply)
@al
yeah, he's not gay, not one tiny bit.

My screen has gone all spazzy though and everything keeps jumping around, hence the random placement of words. Sorry about that everyone!!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:50, Reply)
Bert
You're not fooling anyone.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:51, Reply)
@MM
I know, that's why I deliberately put an 'e' at the end of madam, and used the correct spelling of borough.

*uses man hands to insert sponge fingers*

;P
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:52, Reply)
@Bert Monkeysex
Nope, not German, Scottish.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:58, Reply)
I've stopped
and a time will come when Bert can have his name back. But not before my eeeeeeviiiiil plan.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 13:58, Reply)
I'm looking forward to
whatever you have in store, Mrs Marlboro!

@al I really confused myself for a minute there.

Herr Doktor, are you talking to MM, or me?
Cos I'm scots too you see.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:00, Reply)
.
Nice lyrics wanderlust!

Nice hexadecimal milestone K2k6

Not sure whether or not to register that youtube account – what with all of a sudden finding some new distractions…
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:00, Reply)
Gah
I was talking to MM.

All this messing with names has got me all confuzzled!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:01, Reply)
I think
I'd better go and do some work for a bit.

I'll check in from time to time.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:01, Reply)
NOOOOO!
Not the beans! Anything but the beans!

Hitler's alright though. I mean, so what, so he murdered some Jews? BIG DEAL. They did kill baby Jesus an' all.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:02, Reply)

Laters K2k6
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:02, Reply)
@al
Of course they do!

It's easy to see that you're not a total git like that!

Me, however, I'm expecting a public stone-ing.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:07, Reply)
cyal8rk2k6
And on that note, I'll leave too. Hope all this 'MMBert' confusion is sorted out.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:08, Reply)
Please stop messing about with usernames.
I'm old and I get confused.

I'll have to up my dosage of medication at this rate.

Bye mistaspakkaman and K2K6.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:11, Reply)
@Al
It's not funny to mock the old and afflicted.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:14, Reply)
Mmbert
Hanson's lesser known second single?

*grooves*

Afternoon all, I am Very Important so I have to go to a Very Important Meeting, but I'll be back afterwards so make sure you behave yourselves.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:16, Reply)
@Al
Your forgiven.



Well you have to forgive a guy dancing naked with his tadger swinging around.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:21, Reply)

swinging around barely poking out of his overgrown manbush.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:22, Reply)

...ayyyyyy!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:29, Reply)
I don't mind,
really.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:33, Reply)
Meh.
Tis me, still me, and only me.


...or is it?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:37, Reply)

Everyone seems to have gone... fancy a bit of felching?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:41, Reply)
Some of us are still here
watching the show.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:44, Reply)
Sorry
Virgin Media cunts raped me of my internet for a while
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:44, Reply)
And I'm on a different computer
so the name has come back
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:45, Reply)
OI! MM!
I thought we'd stopped all that business now?!

EDIT Ah, fair enough.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:45, Reply)
thanks al
I spent so long thinking that that EDIT thing came up automatically, and couldn't figure out why it didn't work for me.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:48, Reply)
@al
They're all true too, you know.



She really does eat her own faeces, I saw her.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:48, Reply)
Yeah Bert
Did you see that as you wanked off into your pint?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:50, Reply)
I sure did.
I love scat.


...and women with man hands. ;D
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:51, Reply)
I think
everyone's gone off to f5 the main page.

AND TO DEFEAT KAOL!


Group effort people.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:52, Reply)
al
dried fried monkey spunk
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 14:54, Reply)
Just had a fire drill.
Everyone in this building is UGLY.

Particularly me.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:06, Reply)
I have just been asked by a gentleman...
If I could stamp his passport for him, because he can't find the police station.

SOMEONE CALL THE DAILY HATE! I THINK HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN AFTER MY JOB!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:09, Reply)
Quick everybody!
Post the random events of your day!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:12, Reply)
Devil
He'll have your wife and your children too. And he'll rape your pets.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:13, Reply)
Mmmm....
Kirstie Allsop.

I like that she's

A) A bit overweight
B) Quite posh
and C) Looks a bit like a pig.

SQUEAL KIRSTIE! SQUEAL FOR ME!

EDIT Yay! I got on the Best page, really wasn't expecting to this week.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:15, Reply)
al
I do believe you've gone and got yourself a typo in your board sig.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:17, Reply)
qyick!
to the QOTW!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:17, Reply)
woooohooooo!
I win!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:20, Reply)
@al
You talking about Kirstie, or MM?


....oh no he di'n't!

I hate Phil though. Fucking smug prick.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:20, Reply)
He was inside the offices, waiting outside the door.
I was nice to him, I showed him to the correct place.

How he didn't get that my office wasn't a police station, I don't know!

To the QOTW!

EDIT: Everyone knows the premier home programme Totty is Sarah Beeney.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:21, Reply)
Nu-uh!
Carol Smilie FTW.

EDIT: You know you like my man hands...
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:25, Reply)
Lamb is ace.
Ever since that scottish widows advert I've wanted to spill me seed on her tonsils.

EDIT Smillie mings like a kipper.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:25, Reply)
Woohoo
I got a story on the best of page.

Possible Possession?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:29, Reply)
WOOHOO!
Hats and party poppers all round.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:33, Reply)
Well done MM!
That'll show Kaol, the feckless gimp.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:34, Reply)
Yay
Hats.

Pop - streamers, and the lovely smell of sulphur.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:35, Reply)
Thanks Bert
and congrats on your Best Of too, even though it wasn't considered as good as Herr Doktor's by all the other b3tans.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:35, Reply)
Ooh, MM's thrown a spanner in the works...
Smiley smiley Carol Smillie is lovely. and she has the Scottish accent so is already on a winner.

Amanda Lamb? Is she Scottish Widows? Hmm. She's not as woo as the others.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:36, Reply)
@MM
....you gives with one hand, and you takes with the other.

I've had a few Best page posts though, only my SensibleBert profile hasn't had one.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:38, Reply)
Yeah well
I just found an article about me in japanese.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:39, Reply)
Grats on the FP Bert
I thought your story was great.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:40, Reply)
Shush Doktor!
You'll make me go all coy! But thanks, it certainly wasn't one of my best though.

When I've got a minute i shall read yours, from the feedback you got it must be pretty good!

@MM Yeah well, lots of people on the internet have seen my cock dressed as Hitler.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:45, Reply)
Bert
I'm glad I missed you cock dressed up as Hitler, I don't think my brain would take it.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:48, Reply)
Oh, come on now Herr Doktor
You know you want to see it.

Would you like a link?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 15:51, Reply)
Bert
I'm not clicking that, I know what they do to people here who look at that sort of thing.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:02, Reply)
HAHA!
Al! You must've looked!

I'm so sorry, you poor bloke! You really shouldn't have looked!

I concur with what you say though, MM, post pics of your flange!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:06, Reply)
No Bert
I really haven't, I'm just guessing at what the content is by the URL.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:15, Reply)
Hello again
Are we still talking about Bert's cock, then?

Made me chuckle, that did.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:18, Reply)
@Doktor
'cock1' doesn't really give alot away.

Essentially, it's a picture of my penis dressed as Hitler, and as a superhero called GIGANTACOCK on the other side of the screen, attacking a giant metallic cockerel.

@K2k6 You're a strange person. I like you *clicks*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:18, Reply)
Yes
we are still talking about Berts cock. For some reason he wants me to look at it!

I must resist, I must resist.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:22, Reply)
Hello K2k6
Did you get lots of work done?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:22, Reply)
It's that time of day again
and I'm away home, may see you all later.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:24, Reply)
Um
I am not posting photos of my mimsy.

EDIT: I am however willing to post photos of when I was fat and geeky
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:24, Reply)
Cheerio, Dok.
Go on, MM. It's nice to appear as though you're mentally challenged, even when you're not and you're actually sickened and disgusted that you've posted intimate photos of yourself on the interwebs.

EDIT Ooh! go on then, I bet you was all cute.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:27, Reply)
I got
a bit of work done, clendrix

*remembers something is still in progress*

but then an old colleague came into see me for half an hour, and so I didn't get as much done as I'd intended to.

But it's close to home time now, so it's no use starting it this late in the day. No point in doing today what can be done tomorrow.

*goes back to lab to rescue sample*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:27, Reply)
Bert
I wasn't cute. Hence the no friends bit. But I shall humiliate myself all the same for you.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:36, Reply)
Ahhh....!
You don't have to MM, I can't believe that you were ever anything but gorgeous.

:D
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:37, Reply)
Right then
I'm off home.

See you all later.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:43, Reply)
Ta-ra special K!

(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:44, Reply)
Yes.
I also had this thing called "anorexia" which made a fair amount of difference to my overall weight.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:50, Reply)
That's horrible, MM
I'm sorry that you had to go through that.

A friend of mine had anorexia, and she nearly died because of it. I couldn't ever say that I know what it's like to go through something like that, but I feel for you, I really do.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:55, Reply)
I'm very much over it
you can take the piss all you like. As far as I'm concerned, going through shit means that you can be a more balanced and rational person at the end of it all. And know your weaknesses a lot better.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:58, Reply)
I wouldn't take the piss out of something like that!
I agree with what you're saying, shit happens, but you seem like a great person anyway.

/shows off his serious, sensitive side
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 16:59, Reply)
Ta love
*admires sensitive side*

*strokes*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 17:01, Reply)
Ahhh....
This is getting all fluffy and serious.

Fancy a jaffa cake?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 17:03, Reply)
oooooh Jaffa Cakes
(cake not biscuit)

I have a website and it is shiney.

shiiiiiinnnneeeeyyy
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 17:06, Reply)
The one in your profile?
I saw it yesterday, very pretty it is too. the offers should come rolling in now!

I really want Jaffa cakes, but haven't got any, AND I have to go to a sort of parent's evening thing tonight, so I won't even be home til about 9!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 17:09, Reply)
I am very proud
I haven't finished it yet, but I have not only managed to make it, but also get an address and a server and everything.

How old is your tiddler?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 17:10, Reply)
He's fine, poking through my trousers to the right at the moment
and he's hardly stirred at all today.


....Oh! You mean my daughter!? She's great, as always, she's a legend, and an absolute star. I'm expecting her teacher to tell me just how wonderful she is (all over again). She's 6, yet last weekend I taught her to swim underwater, and how to play chess! -I'm raising a geek, and I'm proud!

EDIT Just realised I actually did mis-read your reply, I thought you asked how my tiddler was, not how old she is.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 17:13, Reply)
Aw pickle
Good luck with that. I must be offski now though I'm afraid.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 17:17, Reply)
Toodle-pip!
Nice talking you today Mrs.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 17:17, Reply)
I'll be leaving in about ten minutes.
How you doing alfonso?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 17:29, Reply)
You have a female swede staying with you?
Mash her up with some 'taters, it's right lovely.

EDIT I'm glad Mrs Sexmonkey and I don't live together just yet, I like being able to knock one out while avoiding Emmerdale on the telly.

DOUBLE EDIT -BYE!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 17:32, Reply)
Silly al, it was Fisher
the Headteacher of the School that she was married to. ;)

She was, I don't know if she still is.

I loved her as Marilyn.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 17:36, Reply)
Is anyone left?
I've only just managed to get onto the computer at work and there's still an hour left here.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 17:52, Reply)
I'm around
*exists*

*does stuff*
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 18:14, Reply)
@becky
*puff of smoke*

Woop! I'm here

@K - Afternoon fella!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 18:31, Reply)
'ello Boss K
How's things?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 18:35, Reply)
Woo-hoo
This thread is big and weird.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 18:36, Reply)
Not bad!
Long periods of boredom bookended by flailing panic today at work. It was either dead or 40 people phoning at once wanting stuff.

Yourself?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 18:36, Reply)
I've been
doing very little. I got some stuff done this afternoon, but I was waylaid for a bit, so decided to put off any more until tomorrow.

Procrastination gives me something to look forward to!

@clendrix - I've been described as big and weird too, on occasion...
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 18:38, Reply)
Yeah,
time wasting's the way forward.

@clendrix
afternoon to you!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 18:41, Reply)
Afternoon
K people!

Hmm...big and weird. You sound more and more interesting. I might even visit Scotland one day to view you; a B3ta tourist attraction, if you will.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 18:44, Reply)
Actually,
that should really be tall and weird, as I'm a bit skinny these days compared to my former self.

Edit - forgot to say, I'll be on view in Edinburgh on April 11th next year!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 18:50, Reply)
I know!
But I'll be in New Zealand.

It'll have to be at the next Scotland Bash in 2013.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 18:54, Reply)
New Zealand?
Oh, yes, I think you mentioned that before and I said you'd need to go to Dunedin instead.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 18:59, Reply)
That's right
but I've been there. I'll be on the Norf Island this time.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 19:01, Reply)
So you'll be
cavorting in the hot springs then? Or is that stuff on the South Island?

My sum total of NZ experience is an hour and a half in Auckland airport, waiting for a connection to Sydney, so I'm not au fait with it.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 19:03, Reply)
They've got that stuff in the south
but not sure about the north. If not, I'll find somewhere else to cavort!
(, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 19:17, Reply)
.
.
Chat continues here
.
(, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 0:38, Reply)

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