Right you bunch of skivers
Theres not much going off on here so how else are you sacking off Friday?

Alt: So cheating what did you last cheat at?
metro.co.uk/2013/06/20/french-mum-52-caught-posing-as-19-year-old-daughter-to-sit-english-exam-3850436/

Alt:alt: Weekend plans? Got any? What you doing?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 14:41, 133 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I WAS going to be leaving early today
but I've just found out I've got TWO fucking meetings. Who arranges meetings for late afternoon Friday? I tell you who....FUCKING AMERICANS.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 14:45, Reply)

I have no definite plans for this weekend
What are you doing?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 14:46, Reply)

work tomorrow again till 12pm
I foresee beer and outside if the sun is out
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 14:47, Reply)

YEAH!
Sounds good. Just want this massive carpet of cloud to lift. It's like living under a huge, grey duvet.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 14:51, Reply)

Oh I almost feel bad about leaving at three now
Almost
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 14:48, Reply)

CURSES!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 14:50, Reply)

If it's any consolation to you, I won't actually get home 'til about 5.30pm
My own consolation for that is that I will manage a swift pint along the way.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 14:52, Reply)

I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON IT
Oh god....I don't mean that. Look, I've had a long week alright? Let's go our for steaks...just me and you.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 14:59, Reply)

IM A VEGETARIAN YOU INSENSITIVE PRICK

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:00, Reply)

GOD ITS LIKE YOU HARDLY KNOW ME AT ALL

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:00, Reply)

Jesus
Alright...I'll eat the steak, you can have my peas. How's that sound?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:03, Reply)

Sweet.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:37, Reply)

peas
worst of all teh vegetables

apart from sprouts. fuck sprouts.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:49, Reply)

Cauliflower is the shittest vegetable
no, wait, those baby corn fuckers.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:54, Reply)

i like small pieces of cauliflower if it is in a nice sauce
like a mustard cream sauce or baked with cottage cheese and chilli or something. but not big pieces of plain cauliflower, yeuch.

baby corn is awesome. you take that back.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:58, Reply)

nooooooo
Sprouts are nommy. Broccoli is the work of Satan himself.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:17, Reply)

well at least have the decency
to drink a pint for me
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 14:51, Reply)

See above.
It won't be for you though.
It'll be mine, ALL MINE HAHA
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 14:52, Reply)

You horrible bully :(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 14:54, Reply)

Nights.
All fucking weekend.
Also: do you reckon that if I post enough links to people have online breakdowns on b3ta it'll push Ringofyre into an online breakdown?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 14:46, Reply)

Also: excellent work in the Brigadier's QOTW story, btw.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 14:46, Reply)

I'm hoping to get the opportunity to post this in that thread later on.
www.b3tards.com/u/63e645c3826fa9bc7564/round5.jpg
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 14:47, Reply)

hahaha

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 14:51, Reply)

Actually: better idea. Change YOUR picture in that thread to the Gonz image.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:03, Reply)

Nahhh, he's already replied to you I'll let you drop that one on him

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:11, Reply)

EXACTLY. Anyone coming to the thread now will think he's getting upset about a picture of Gonz.
Uber-LULZ
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:13, Reply)

CLASSIC !!!

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:02, Reply)

Thanks I liked it and got what Brigadier trying to do from the start,

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 14:50, Reply)

Link a brother up

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:07, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/socialmediameltdowns/post1996072
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:12, Reply)

Your picture was the best possible response...I actually cannot believe people can't understand why you posted it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:19, Reply)

Some people are just self-righteous cunts
I like the way he tried to rip my legless piss-take story without quite getting it
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:24, Reply)

Linky?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:32, Reply)

Same thread on about my top story when you look at my profile

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:33, Reply)

*head in hands*

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:46, Reply)

He's getting very close to the drop my Pic source bit
b3ta.com/questions/socialmediameltdowns/post1997040

Why are pricks so predictable
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:51, Reply)

It's worth a try.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 14:47, Reply)

Bloody hell.
I think I done broke myself last night.

I am slacking off by physical necessity, just holding on to my desk for dear life.

I cheated in a physics exam when I was 13. Let's not even start on lieing.

I am going to Hampshire this weekend. For a nice sleep.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:03, Reply)

Where in Hampshire?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:04, Reply)

I am in Hampshire right now!!!
Near petersfield
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:06, Reply)

Good lord
My sister used to live in Petersfield. And I know a couple of people from Liss! What a world, eh?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:07, Reply)

I'd pop into Portsmouth to say hello, but you know...it's a bit of shithole
No offence
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:10, Reply)

Oh, none taken.
You can't argue with the facts.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:10, Reply)

I had to stay in halls over looking that street full of bars
During the festival of the sea when thousands of sailors were in town, I had to shut the window and sleep in the cupboard :(
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:13, Reply)

Sounds like Guildhall Walk
Yeah, I don't like it here at all. I'll move one day.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:15, Reply)

Hartley Wintney.
Then Gloucestershire on Sunday.

This is all round robin stuff for Glastonbury next week.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:07, Reply)

Ah, that's near Fleet, isn't it
Miles away from here.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:09, Reply)

I think so.
I just know it's quite nice and has decent pubs.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:14, Reply)

Wintney Hare's house
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:02, Reply)

:o

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:45, Reply)

I just built a trampoline

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:06, Reply)

Sweet
Ours has been worth every penny. We even took it down and packed it away over the winter! Imagine that!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:07, Reply)

This is a little baby one with a handle to hold
Tbh I think mini ape is probably too old for it, but the gparents bought it
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:09, Reply)

The bigguns are getting quite reasonable now
If you have the space to put one up, of course.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:10, Reply)

My father in law is building mini ape a proper big tree house in his copse
With a zip wire back to the house!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:12, Reply)

Fuck!
That sounds brilliant.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:13, Reply)

I know! Plus she's only two so plenty if time to build it
So far there are just two supporting telegraph poles concreted into the ground. I think it'll be a bit of a retirement project
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:15, Reply)

Can I come over and have a go on the zipline?
I suggest your father-in-law gets some sturdy line.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:19, Reply)

Maybe we can source some rope they use to tie oil tankers to the dock

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:20, Reply)

Too flimsy.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:24, Reply)

Or you could just look at this site
www.foroutdoors.co.uk/acatalog/Zip_Wire_Projects.html
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:26, Reply)

Needs half inch to inch metal cable
and a double pulley roller.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:31, Reply)

Built, or put together.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:44, Reply)

Mind your own business

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:09, Reply)

I'm going to redo my CV, bottle some beer,
sit around in my pants, eat chilli.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:11, Reply)

Cv writing is miserably boring I find

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:12, Reply)

Excellent plan
Why the CV?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:13, Reply)

www.hsj.co.uk/news/finance/managing-director-resigns-as-nhs-direct-losing-more-than-1m-a-month/5059941.article?blocktitle=News&contentID=8805
(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:27, Reply)

That figure is an underestimation by the way.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:27, Reply)

Yeah I saw something on about that,do you reckon there will be a few
other heads on the chopping block?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:32, Reply)

The board have basically given up now, so it's in wind down mode.
NHS direct is being privatised due to massive fuck up for the last two years.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:35, Reply)

Or by design, depends how competent you think the dept of health is.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:44, Reply)

oh if you go through google news you get through the pay wall
www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&gl=uk&tbm=nws&q=Managing+director+resigns+as+NHS+Direct+losing+more+than+%C2%A31m+a+month&oq=Managing+director+resigns+as+NHS+Direct+losing+more+than+%C2%A31m+a+month&gs_l=news-cc.12..43j43i53.1631.1631.0.2182.1.1.0.0.0.0.50.50.1.1.0...0.0...1ac.1.ErciD-ermFQ
(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:30, Reply)

Homemade chilli?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:19, Reply)

Yep, made the other day there's loads and it's awesome.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:27, Reply)

Nice.
I have taken to sticking a dried chipotle chilli in mine recently. Makes it lovely and smoky.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:36, Reply)

I've not got any of that but I might put it on the shopping list.
The good thing about this chilli is the large number of vege we put in. Peppers, mini sweetcorn, mushrooms, onions, carrot, two types of beans, adds a nice mix of flavours and textures than the standard sort.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:38, Reply)

Sounds good.
*obvious crass lack of meat comment*
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:39, Reply)

Apparently some chicken livers in there would work well.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:51, Reply)

In a chilli?
Spag bol I've livered before.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:53, Reply)

Yeah', heard it in pretty much anything that contains mince.
Does it work well in the spag?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:10, Reply)

It's top drawer. Chop it fine. Big glass of red. Mince, beef stock. garlic, onion, bay leaf, worcester sauce.
And whatever bits and bobs you like in a spag.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:14, Reply)

Done at 5
Work is slow today though.

Cooking a nice chicken and chorizo stew tonight. Got the other half coming round for spliffs, wine and 'Psychobitches'. Not seen it yet but love Julia Davis.

Tomorrow Im going to an expectedly overcast bbq. My friends bf is a chef so should be good. She's also invited her best friend of ten years and his gf who is adamant they've shagged so should be a treat!

Hour and a half to go. *sigh*
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:23, Reply)

"his gf who is adamant they've shagged"
Is he unsure then? When I shag someone they stay shagged!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:25, Reply)

I meant his girlfriend is adamant the two friends have shagged :/
Unless he really is that shit.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:27, Reply)

The chef has shagged your best mate's best mate's girlfriend?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:35, Reply)

Now you're just complicating things

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:44, Reply)

no takey-backsies

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:47, Reply)

unless you shout "surprise"

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:48, Reply)

Haha, I meant after the act... I ain't eating no cream pie.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:52, Reply)

Working tomorrow night,
But I'm off tonight, and am going to do nothing much. Need a night in to just chill, evenings here have been hectic with graduation going on.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:48, Reply)

Lots of pissed up students in your pub?
I hate students.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:50, Reply)

you've got student written all over your arse

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:54, Reply)

They've not been too bad really, graduation week is a build up to the formals this weekend.
I'm not sure how well the new assistant here is going to cope with the suits
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:55, Reply)

Do they get stroppy then?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:04, Reply)

Yeah, there are some seriously over privileged oxford dicks that don't seem to understand that daddy's money doesn't bump them up the queue.
She's run a pub in soho, but it's a different style of asshole, the Oxford lot just need to be put in their place early, or they'll be pissing in plant pots by 10pm.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:17, Reply)

Oh man.
Can I work for you? I'd tear them a new asshole.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:18, Reply)

It's good fun at times.
Banishing them all to the garden is fun, only letting 2 in at a time to get a drink.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:21, Reply)

Hahahahaha.
Like the sweetshop with 10 year olds.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:24, Reply)

They don't like it much,
But they accept it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:37, Reply)

I feel cheated that there aren't photos of the mum dressed as a naughty french shoolgirl

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:53, Reply)

I feel cheeated I am not knackers deep with two fists full of pigtails.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:54, Reply)

as i didn't click on the original link
these two posts confused me no end

or they would have done, if i hadn't known who wrote them
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:54, Reply)

Did you never consider becoming a maths teacher, Stunned?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 15:57, Reply)

I'd have smashed that. Not the wife so much.
Poor bastard got 5.5 years. So his bird will be 20 when he gets out. Hahahahahahaha.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:03, Reply)

Hahaha

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:09, Reply)

Up to your nuts in Gallic guts?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:05, Reply)

Clickin' dis.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:08, Reply)

clickarooni

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:09, Reply)

If you thought this story went away a decade ago...
www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2013/jun/21/mclibel-leaflet-police-bob-lambert-mcdonalds
(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:14, Reply)

I got sued by Maccie Dees when gardening because
I used a muck fork.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:17, Reply)

He chose Robert Robinson as his secret name?
Fuck sake.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:20, Reply)

It's burger Friday!
Home made cheese burger, hand cut chips, salad and a pint for a fiver :)
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:17, Reply)

where?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:18, Reply)

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/terraced-house-0-reserve-price-4693492
Poor bastards.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:20, Reply)

Nice link.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:22, Reply)

I can't do links.
I am a complete Luddite.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:25, Reply)

sigh
due to childish deletion-stropping, suggestions for park drinks and shorts moved to here
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:41, Reply)

and leave battered's tiny nob out of it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 21 Jun 2013, 16:42, Reply)