so, wimbledon. is the dour scottish mcmisery going to win it this year?
do you like watching live sport or sport on tv, or do you hate all forms of physical activity, you fat sweaty mess?

alt: death penalty. yay or nay?

altalt: lunch, you fat sweaty mess?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:35, 139 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I support the death penalty for all sports fans and fat sweaty messes.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:37, Reply)

how would you apply it?
forced rations of radishes and alfalfa sprouts until they die of horror at the affront to their white carb and sugar stuffed bodies?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:40, Reply)

Yeah, something like that.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:40, Reply)

i bloody love radishes
there's a persian place near me that does a salad of all different herbs and spring onions and radishes, with walnuts and a persian version of feta cheese...... amazing
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:42, Reply)

Ohhh no are we gonna have to put up with the
COME ON TIM again?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:38, Reply)

jeff was already doing it during queens

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:39, Reply)

You really want to come on Tim.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:40, Reply)

urgh

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:41, Reply)

Or that Greggs Rusedski chap

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:43, Reply)

h
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:43, Reply)

I'm going to see ZZ Top tonight in Hammersmith.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:39, Reply)

you'll be about a 15 min walk or a 3 min car ride from my flat
i would wave at you, but, you know. al's a cunt and all that.

also, will your beard be better than theirs?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:40, Reply)

It'll be neater.
But not as cool.

Also, I won't be a multimillionaire.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:44, Reply)

it's alright, i'll have a word with the council and tell them to let you in anyway

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:46, Reply)

My dad will be with me too. He looks a bit like Sean Connery when he was in The Rock.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:53, Reply)

now i'm trying to say "zz top" with a sean connery accent
it's not easy
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:55, Reply)

'cheesy top'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:05, Reply)

perfect

( Peej, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:01, Reply)

Yeah I hope so, I reckon he deserves it
alt: KILL ALL DA PEEDOS

altalt: averrage chicken tikka sandwich
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:40, Reply)

paedos really are at the bottom of the disgusting subhuman pile
well, paedos and cyclists
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:41, Reply)

AHAHAHAHAHA

(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:58, Reply)

a cyclist ran into my taxi on friday
totally her own fault, as she tried to squeeze her way through a gap that wasn't big enough. she grazed her hand on the side of the car and then started banging away on the bonnet screeching at him to look where he was going. in other words, she thought he should have stopped to let her force her way through, so that she could then have held all the cars to 5mph.

man i hate cyclists.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:01, Reply)

knowing taxi drivers and the way they drive, I don't believe this version of events.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:22, Reply)

perfectly true
he was a nice little iranian man and he drove by the book. he was terrified.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:41, Reply)

Of course he's not
I watch quite a lot of sport, yes.

altalt: got to take some contractor out for lunch. can't be arsed.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:45, Reply)

now darling, much as i love you......... schoolgirls play that thing you call a "sport"

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:46, Reply)

That's not what I said I watch, though, is it?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:46, Reply)

yeah I mean lets be honest, no actually wacthes hockey do they

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:48, Reply)

It's not a particularly effective spectator sport
the ball moves too fast.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:50, Reply)

yes dear x

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:51, Reply)

I used to go out with a girl that played hockey.
You play hockey, therefore you're a girl.

SCIENCED.
( Kroney, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:54, Reply)

alternative interpretation
you boned a man who liked to run around in skirts playing with sticks and balls
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:55, Reply)

Definitely a girl. Want me to send you aphoto?

( Kroney, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:56, Reply)

no
i do not want a titgaz. not from you, not from anyone.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:01, Reply)

Ha!

( Kroney, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:02, Reply)

lesbian gym teachers, maybe?
we once had to play indoor hockey and one of the male teachers was assisting. we got a royal bollocking because half of us weren't wearing our (big disgusting grey granny) gym knickers under our skirts, so when we bent over...

"girls! the proctor does NOT want to see a row of schoolgirls' knickers," bellowed the games teacher.

"er, i bet he does," one of the girls piped up, earning herself 2 weeks in detention.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:51, Reply)

and the next thing you know she's in the South of France with her teacher up to his back wheel in her

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:53, Reply)

this girl was a beast
one of those who already looked 18 when we were only 11. the court would have felt far too sorry for the teacher, believe me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:54, Reply)

Do you still keep your gym knickers for special occasions?
*rubs hands together*
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:58, Reply)

wow

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:01, Reply)

^

( Kroney, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:02, Reply)

i guess spending all day at home "studying" he has quickly progressed, from teen, to barely legal to actual underage porn
I'll call the POlice, you call the Daily Express
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:06, Reply)

I say tomato,
you say tomater.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:07, Reply)

urgh
there are no words for how foul these things were. they would defeat viagra on a 13 year old boy getting his first glimpse of porn.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:02, Reply)

So no then.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:03, Reply)

i wear them to type on here

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:06, Reply)

i was just saying that your idea of sport might not really be a sport
your flower arranging and pancake flipping races, that sort of thing
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:49, Reply)

yes dear.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:50, Reply)

I doubt it. He eats a lot of food and his calorie intake is big apparently.
I go to the gym, and not just to perve.
Alt, no, not at all. Even for umbrella users and clowns.
Altalt, houmous and salad pitta. Like a doner, without the heart attack. I may have a vegi week actually.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:56, Reply)

That is nothing like a doner.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 12:58, Reply)

Well a doner is meat, salad and pitta/nan.
This is houmous, salad and a pitta. So similar.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:01, Reply)

the meat is the absolutely fundamental part of that meal, without it the meal is fucked

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:03, Reply)

I generally grab a doner once a week.
Best kebab ever was Morocco.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:07, Reply)

you should turn veggie for a month
you wouldn't turn back again, honestly.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:07, Reply)

turn back into a hetrosexual?
I like meat, why would I want to go veggie?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:08, Reply)

I was vegi for 12 years, and vegan for a few of those.
Bacon tempted me back.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:08, Reply)

i'd just like to tell the internet at this point that there is other BETTER meat available besides nommy baconz

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:12, Reply)

I agree.
My favourite is game, and nice fish. But bacon was the alluring temptress.
Fuck it, I'll give vegi a try for a month.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:19, Reply)

game, and nice fish. But bacon was the alluring temptress.
Fuck it, I'll give vegi a try for a month. cock
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:32, Reply)

I tried veggie too.
Did all the alternatives, Quorn, McCartney, Beanfeast.

It's just not meat.
Im far too much of a carnivore.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:22, Reply)

WE ALL KNOW YOU N,.LIKE A BIT OF SAUSAGE!!!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:25, Reply)

It's like a Carry On film in here...

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:26, Reply)

except somehow, even less funny

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:29, Reply)

Probably not
Alt: Nay.

AltAlt: Beef & ale stew.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:08, Reply)

Oi oi how's you?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:20, Reply)

he's getting the deficit down

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:31, Reply)

Not bad cheers fella, you?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:54, Reply)

I'm not one for sport (shock horror!)
I do watch the England matches when football is on mind. Always better with a drink.
I'm not very sporty either though I do like a nice long walk with some decent tunes piping through my headphones. I do walk a lot. Otherwise I'd be a fat mess.

Alt. Depends on the crime. Some are so heinous that I'd rather they were put to death than my tax pay for their keep.

Alt.Alt. 5 bean and tuna salad.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:15, Reply)

not even a bit of hockey?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:18, Reply)

Not even rounders or netball.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:19, Reply)

I thought you were averse to a bit of bean?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:10, Reply)

+flicking

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:15, Reply)

I like some sports and not others.
I'll happily watch cricket, rugby, tennis and formula 1. I also quite like American Football. I understand that this makes me sound like a dick.

Alt: no, death penalty is silly, but we do need to be less scared to let people die in prison.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:24, Reply)

I like in in American where people are sentenced to hundreds of years in jail

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:26, Reply)

See, that's good.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:27, Reply)

yep leaving a prisoner with no hope of release or rehabilitation really helps motivate them to behave well

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:29, Reply)

They're locked in a box.
Who are they gonna hurt?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:32, Reply)

The little-known and never released collaboration between Cliff Richard and Ray Parker JR

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:50, Reply)

that does cost a lot, though
which is in itself a difficult question. you can't put a price on human life. but the money that will keep mark bridger alive and not beaten to a pulpy death by other inmates would have gone a long way to researching cerebral palsy or building hospitals or schools... is it a good use of it?

personally the death penalty seems barbaric to me; i find it disturbing that anyone could have the power of life and death over someone else.

but there might be some exceptions. ian brady. ian huntley (both of whom want to die anyway). cyclists.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:40, Reply)

Put them in solitary, don't let them near other inmates, then the only cost is food, water, heating, the odd book and guards.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:54, Reply)

my friend is a criminal psychologist at ashworth
she told me what it was going to cost to keep mark bridger per year, i was truly appalled
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:56, Reply)

That's mainly cos the normal staff:prisoner ratio of about 1:50 can't be used for them

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:00, Reply)

how much?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:00, Reply)

i can't remember the exact figure, but it was thousands and thousands and thousands more than that scumsucker would ever contribute
even if you sold his organs to desperately rich bidders
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:07, Reply)

is it more or less than you annual hair bill?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:08, Reply)

ah now, don't be silly

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:09, Reply)

hair dye is expensive I suppose

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:12, Reply)

and why would i need that???

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:13, Reply)

you know why "fanta pants"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:16, Reply)

it IS a bit more coppery than usual at the moment
but that's just because it got bleached in spain. so ner.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:18, Reply)

i spent £300 on wolford tights this morning
they might cover it up
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:14, Reply)

I have watched some sport's during the olympics that I wouldn't have thought of normally watching
I quite enjoyed the archery, the Women's beech volley ball was strangely compelling.

alt: The death penalty is a tricky one once you have killed them you can't release them if found out not guilty, however their are such crimes that genuinely deserve the death penalty.

Alt:alt: leftover chicken curry from yesterday
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:41, Reply)

Alt: Mainly parking offences, right?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:43, Reply)

It is one of my pet hates
In good news it looks like my streets going to be made residents only parking
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:49, Reply)

No, he'll lose in the final
I like watching sport, but there's too many that the media won't admit we're shit at now, football for a start.
alt: nay, let the bastards suffer. Hard labour.

altalt: chips, with curry sauce, while sat in the sunny park.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:42, Reply)

I always liked the idea of prison hulks over the death penalty.

(socynicalsohip, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:46, Reply)

There was a prison ship at Portland up until a couple of years ago iirc

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:48, Reply)

We should ship them all out to the Sahara and see how they get on.
Or set up something like in Escape from New York.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:51, Reply)

i read it as prison hunks
a lifetime of waxing and other tortures
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:54, Reply)

What are you talking about? I'm not even entered in Wimbledon this year!

I do love watching sport, however. Football, golf, snooker, F1, tennis. I'll watch pretty much anything except cricket.

Alt: Nay. But the system we've got doesn't work either.

Alt: cuppa soup again.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:46, Reply)

I have spent many an afternoon at Trent Bridge watching the cricket with liquid refreshments
It's a shame I can't get to see any of the Ashes this year
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:53, Reply)

Set fire to your garden fence
then sit in your garden and watch the ashes that used to be your fence.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:56, Reply)

Talking of fences I'm currently having a chicken wire war with my next door neighbour

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:03, Reply)

That sounds dull and petty.
What caused the trouble?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:04, Reply)

Me puting about a foot of chick wire on top of the fence to stop cats from shitting
in the planters in my Yarden
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:06, Reply)

that must look fairly rank, in their defence
but then... so is catshit
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:07, Reply)

I thought having a dog would be enough to stop cats shitting in my garden
but no, there's one down the road that comes in and does it all the time.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:09, Reply)

lion poo

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:09, Reply)

A tad excessive
but I've heard it works.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:12, Reply)

pepper and lemon juice they hate
but what's the point of that when this weather washes it all off again within seconds?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:12, Reply)

Citronella/ get away gel/ bottles full of water in the planters, lengths of string/ large cobbles....
in the planters, using pepper/chilli powder, electronic high pitched thingy...all have been tried and failed,

For the first time in years we have had no cat poo in the planters for over 3 weeks
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:18, Reply)

It don't really look very nice in all honesty, but we have tried loads of other methods
This was recommended to me by an RSPA officer* (*if that's what you call them)
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:15, Reply)

how about moving the planters?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:15, Reply)

Where inside?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:20, Reply)

are you jewish?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:07, Reply)

oi vey

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:12, Reply)

Why is this a known way of keeping the Gestapo out?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:13, Reply)

yarden sounded jewish is all

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:17, Reply)

ohhhh its a yard with planters in, hence Yarden

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:18, Reply)

Outdoor showers not as effective, maybe?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:19, Reply)

if it helps I am going to Lords for just this reason

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:56, Reply)

+ bum gay
for just this reason for money
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:58, Reply)

B3th will have her own to watch on the mantel piece soon enough

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:57, Reply)

"it could happen to any one of us"

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:12, Reply)

Earworm!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:21, Reply)

I like Quazar and Air Hockey.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:49, Reply)

I like darts.
And lesbian curling. Not the glass coffee table type though.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 13:51, Reply)

As a dour Scottish misery I resent your question.
I like watching a bit of footie, cricket, 6 nations rugby, etc. That's about it.

Alt: Only if it's in a Running Man format. We could get rid of The Voice/Britain's Not Got Talent etc and start off with a Running Man - Yewtree special.

AltAlt: Met a mate for a coffee and a panini, thanks for asking.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:03, Reply)

It's a Yewtree Knockout.
C Wing vs D Wing.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:03, Reply)

I don't find sport interesting, sorry
alt: Nay.

altalt: I had a KFC and then went and bought another guitar. I'm out of control.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:13, Reply)

probably more nutrition in the guitar, to be fair

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:14, Reply)

Could be
It's made of solid mahogany, so....
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:15, Reply)

just remember to take your teeth out first

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:15, Reply)

:(

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:26, Reply)

bald thing
you make my heart sing
you make everything
groovy
bald thing
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:36, Reply)

must weight a ton

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:17, Reply)

It's fairly slim, so it's not too bad
I played an early 60's Les Paul once. Now THAT was heavy.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:25, Reply)

NO WAI!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:33, Reply)

I like to watch a lot of different sports
However as much as I would like your Murray to win that there Wimbledon I cant see it happening...

Alt, No the death penalty is a waste of time and money if you look at countries with the death penalty the cost of killing someone is more than just banging them up forever. It doesn't simply go he is guilty "BANG" they are on death row for years going through many different defences and double checking evidence etc. costs a fortune in lawyers (now I know this may endear it to you) I would say give all "lifers" and exercise bike and rig it to the national grid and they have to generate enough power to cover their food and provide a surplus to the country win win
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 24 Jun 2013, 14:52, Reply)