What's the shittest name you've ever heard - apart from 'mance Rayder' obv.
Alt: what's the next 'cool' food trend? Classic American is well on the way to being milked to death. I hope it's Caribbean.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:32, 133 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Kanye West has just called his kid, "North"

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:33, Reply)

One of Brad Pitt's kids is called 'Shiloe', spoonerism fans

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:34, Reply)

I love that, what a fucking dunce

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:35, Reply)

Quite
Apparently he's desperately dull company. Knowing this gives me hope that the universe is indeed in order.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:36, Reply)

I sold him weed once, fact fans

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:37, Reply)

Seriously?
Could you sell ME weed?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:38, Reply)

I don't do it any more.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:40, Reply)

Ah
GOTCHA!
*taps nose*
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:41, Reply)

Just in case my mum's reading, you understand.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:41, Reply)

"I'm just holding it for a friend"

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:44, Reply)

That's what George Michael said about that copper's penis.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:59, Reply)

TOPICAL!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:06, Reply)

Is he expecting it to grow up ill educated, poor and and obsessed with pigeons?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:46, Reply)

I hope he releases an album called 'North' when he's older
Or a perfume
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:11, Reply)

^^FILM^^

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 13:11, Reply)

'Monty Boyce' is pretty fucking shit.
Alt: who give a shit, food is for eating, not talking about.
/ran out of lithium
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:33, Reply)

Alt: that's a very, very stupid thing to say, Wilf.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:35, Reply)

I like food, I like cooking when I get the time
but listening to other people twat on about it bored me to tears. It's like sex, fun to do, dull to talk about.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:44, Reply)

So you've no interest in finding out about new things to eat?
You're a funny little chap, Wilfred, you really are.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:50, Reply)

sometimes I am.
but oddly I manage this without interminable fucking food threads.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:55, Reply)

You seem a bit down, Foggsy old boy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:04, Reply)

He certainly seems to be lacking in positivity today.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:05, Reply)

Some cunts slashed the tyres on his 'boneshaker' and his kid's been pressganged into a pickpocketing ring in the west end.
And that pesky 'Jack the Ripper' is still at large :o(
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:08, Reply)

if anyone points out that boneshakers had no tyres I shall fucking punch them

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:08, Reply)

If that wasn't enough to bring a man down, his brass anemometer suggests that the conditions are unsuitable for balloon flight today.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:11, Reply)

Looks like he might not win that wager after all!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:12, Reply)

Italian-Mongolian fusion

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:34, Reply)

BBQ'd mutton in a decent ragu
It's just crazy enough to work
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:37, Reply)

Carbonara made with fermented mare's milk.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:38, Reply)

See?
Some hipster prick would pay 50 quid for a bowl of that.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:39, Reply)

I ONLY PAID 45 *ACTUALLY*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:39, Reply)

"SmartWatches", believe me, this time next year, they'll be as big as ipads were in their first year.
Apple have started going around the patient and trademark offices around the world for 'iWatch', so I think we're looking at one coming out this year, probably around the november mark.

I was thinking about it last night and I scratched my arm. Suddenly I thought, this would be a wicked 'gesture' for a computer input.... an extention to the whole mouse/keyboard thing.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:36, Reply)

Fiver says it flops, massively.
or never gets off the ground. it's a stupid idea for all the reasons listed last time we argued about this.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:45, Reply)

OK, it's a deal, £5.... starting from now?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:49, Reply)

It's just that the first one has already sold 85k
and two days before launching in an american national chain, BestBuy, its sold out before the doors are even open.
www.bestbuy.com/site/Pebble---Smart-Watch-for-Select-Apple%26%23174%3B-and-Android-Devices---Black/9713809.p?id=1219034546379&skuId=9713809&DCMP=rdr108901
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:51, Reply)

And they're selling for almost-to-way-ever double the retail price on Ebay
www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?_trksid=p5197.m570.l1313.TR0.TRC0.Xpebble+watch&_nkw=pebble+watch&_sacat=0&_from=R40
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:52, Reply)

Battery life and general durability are an issue.
If they've sorted that properly I'll get one.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:53, Reply)

I've not heard anything about durability on them yet.
The pebble has a week's life out of it, which is alright considering what you get. I think if they get 5 days or soo on a colour/touch-screen one, then that would be enough, aslong as you can charge it up quickly.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:59, Reply)

it's shit.
hipsters will buy it for a while then it will die out.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:56, Reply)

I've objectively proven that its gotten off the ground and hasn't flopped.
Weather you like it or not is irrelevant, fiver please.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:00, Reply)

Selling 85,000 units to deluded hipsters, does not stop it being a flop.
16.8 million LaserDisc players were sold worldwide, Betamax held a 25% market share in 1981, both were and are flops. Hell, millions of Zunes were sold, this does not effect the fact that I have never seen one in the flesh and they are a joke compared to the iPod.

Now stop sucking the cock of a dead man.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:08, Reply)

You're more fun when the lithium runs out.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:12, Reply)

he really is
although he'll start some rant against little old me if i'm not careful
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:13, Reply)

Fuck you
hippy
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:15, Reply)

85k out of 85k, as fast as they can make them, is as fast as they sale. Doesn't matter what you think of the purchaser.
You've not seen one in the flesh because they're not in the UK yet and they're not on store shelves yet. Again, your personal perception is irrelivent; I don't like Tuna but that doesn't mean its shit.

LaserDisc and Betamax and had better rivel technologies and thats why they didn't survive. Not because "they were shit", it was because "there was something better out there".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:17, Reply)

if they made them in the style of C19th pocket watches ol' Foggeroonie here would be all over them

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:20, Reply)

As would I to be fair

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:23, Reply)

Accesorize ! Get a nice case for it

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:30, Reply)

I don't eaven bother with a watch any more, I just use my phone
it's about as quick to pull it out as to look at a watch.

reason #320 why this will fail.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:43, Reply)

reading comprehension dear boy.
85k is 85k if that's all they ever sell it's a flop, only time will tell if it is all they sell or if it goes on to be a massive (and unlikely) success.

I've not seen a Zune in the flesh, that's what that sentence was about, not go back and reread it properly.

my perception of the product is not coloured by the people who buy it, my perception of the people is coloured by the product. it's a silly product so people who buy it are silly, not silly people buy it so it's a silly product.

I never commented on the mechanism of the demise of the laserdisc, zune or betamax tape, I merely used them to show that you could sell more than 85k and still flop, but, if you want an example of something that died on it's arse, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fossil_Wrist_PDA although I'll grant initial sales were not as fast as this.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:30, Reply)

The main fail for betamax was that the tape was not quite long enough to record a full basketball game
TRUFAX
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:38, Reply)

oh, and they are actually selling for a little over retail price on eBay:
www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_sacat=0&_nkw=pebble+watch&LH_Complete=1&rt=nc
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:10, Reply)

Not rediculously far off it.
www.google.co.uk/search?q=150+dollars+in+gbp&oq=150+dollars+in+gbp&aqs=chrome.0.57j0l3j62l2.3542j0&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:18, Reply)

OK, point
I missed that you gave one link in dollars and the other in pounds.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:35, Reply)

It sounds like the sort of thing 'Mance Rayder' would buy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:53, Reply)

the main function of a watch is to look pretty or cool. depending on your gender.

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:06, Reply)

the main function of a watch is to tell you the time.
you pointless excrescence.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:39, Reply)

wearing one would make you look like a fucking prick
there is no way around that I'm afraid
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:12, Reply)

even though mine does it because i'm too lazy/retarded to turn it off
i hate "sent from my iphone/ipad"

however, one of my client surveyors has a whole new level.

"please excuse typos/spelling errors - sent from my iphone"

wtf. don't make fucking errors in a WORK EMAIL.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:15, Reply)

Pink popped-collar polo shirts with a jumper casually draped over the shoulders, mustard cords and boating shoes, however = cool as fuck.
Extra points for a pair of 'Oakleys' on the head, too.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:28, Reply)

*collects extra points*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:32, Reply)

would you buy an I-collostomybag if they made one?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:41, Reply)

As I've said before, we've made cards for a child called 'Tequila'
Alt: No idea.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:37, Reply)

A friend of mine is a social worker
And once had a child in their care named Precious Reefer.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:39, Reply)

oh Portsmouth

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:11, Reply)

There was a Richmond Blue as well
Which is a brand of cigarette's, for the uninitiated.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:27, Reply)

Alt: Vegetarianism!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:37, Reply)

Pfft...as if THAT's a thing

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:39, Reply)

Isnt it that thing where two men get together and touch willies?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:23, Reply)

It's something to do with that, I'm sure of it

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:26, Reply)

I have a customer called Bernie Croake. I like that.
My brother had one called Ferhat Ferhangel.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:39, Reply)

I worked with a Hermal Dikshit in a previous life.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:53, Reply)

I've worked with several Kunts and a Mong.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:01, Reply)

But I don't remember their names!!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:27, Reply)

I went to a 'naming ceremony'* for the child of a former colleague of Mrs tangle
The middle names they had chosen for their daughter were Sailor and Joy.


*Yes, yes I know, bloody hippies.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:44, Reply)

I name them 'fucking cunts'.
No ceremony required.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:51, Reply)

Nominative determinism says she'll be sucking people off down the docks by fifteen.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:02, Reply)

hahaha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:24, Reply)

I work with someone named Lino Patino
Which I like
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:54, Reply)

Works well with the music from the Gino Ginelli ice cream advert

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:58, Reply)

It does an' all
I'll have to remember that next time I speak to him. I'm sure he'll see the funny side.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:59, Reply)

lino oak flooring
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:09, Reply)

People are making up some truly shocking names for their children
metro.co.uk/2013/07/01/yoda-and-zebedee-on-list-of-britains-rarest-names-3863704/
Do they realise the shit they will have to take at school because of it.
If by Caribbean I hope you mean Jamaican, the food from St Kitts is rank
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 10:56, Reply)

Trinidadian food is good.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:03, Reply)

As is Puerto Rician food
But Jamaican food is the best in the Caribbean hands down
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:06, Reply)

it all looks the same to me

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:10, Reply)

so do cables, just saying

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:18, Reply)

the ones I lay on your mum's chest vary hugely from long and firm to wet and sloppy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:23, Reply)

30m long?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:25, Reply)

yep, all the way around your mum's gunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:29, Reply)

I know a child called Coco Tinkerbell

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:06, Reply)

Scandinavian is the correct answer to the alt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:07, Reply)

some unmarried chav parents in York named their daughter 'Blaiz'
Double chav fail: mis-spelled 'unusual' forename, double-barreled surname in an attempt to look 'posh'.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:09, Reply)

alright doze?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:10, Reply)

Is their surname 'Ings-Quad'?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:11, Reply)

Gosh I do hope so.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:13, Reply)

this cricket player has a questionable name
www.espncricinfo.com/england/content/player/53893.html
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:09, Reply)

That's more than a little silly

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:31, Reply)

I know.
Girls playing cricket!
Now I've seen it all.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:32, Reply)

wankoff is not a good surname
alt: peruvian
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:11, Reply)

yeah I could eat a bit of guinea pig, good plan swiperooney

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:12, Reply)

there's an amazing peruvian in soho
cevicheuk.com/

when my client picked it for lunch, i was all waaaaaah that's miles from the city, but i've been back loads of times since. and that's speaking as a vegetarian bender who doesn't eat 99% of the stuff on the menu.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:14, Reply)

I'm a big fan of amazing peruvian.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:14, Reply)

They make some great hats and ponchos and all

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:15, Reply)

Their pan pipe music is some of the best around.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:26, Reply)

it's almost like this has another meaning

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:16, Reply)

I'm unconvinced by all this ceviche chat. cf Scandinavian. It's dull as piss.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:14, Reply)

yeah, but ceviche is only one dish on the menu
i'll take you and stunned, i promise you'll love it. all roasted meat and shit.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:16, Reply)

I thought Argentine food was doing the rounds at the moment?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:27, Reply)

and brazilian
but that peruvian place is to die for
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:30, Reply)

Nice

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:34, Reply)

NOM!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:40, Reply)

Caribbean is fucking excellent.
I think monkey cheese would be a hip and groovy food fad. Or dog cheese.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:17, Reply)

the japanese have made cheese for the first time ever
it has cherry blossom in it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:20, Reply)

Why for the first time ever?
Don't they like cheese or something?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:25, Reply)

they're naturally allergic to it
so if you have an issue with Japs not staying about from your bins, simply rub them with a good sharp cheddar every night.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:27, Reply)

traditionally china and japan had no cheese in their diets
apart from one region in china where the locals made it and the rest of china thought they were mentals (kind of like our lolarious irishman jokes i guess). but with the influx of western food/dairy stuff, they've started making it.

i've been told this, i can't back it up, but i do think cherry blossom cheese sounds pretty cute.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:31, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post2003331
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:25, Reply)

Human cheese would be cool.
*milks*
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:30, Reply)

I'm not sure, but look at this happy chappie!
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2296846/Say-cheese-Happy-swimmer-cracks-killer-smile-whale-time-catching-lunch-wild.html
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:31, Reply)

that is the weakest article I've ever scrolled through not reading

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:34, Reply)

If he knew what the japs did to whales, he wouldn't be smiling

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:43, Reply)

well this is racist

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:59, Reply)

I just want to remind you all of Tommy Vance's real name, here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:31, Reply)

go on then

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:34, Reply)

Richard Anthony Crispian Francis Prew Hope-Weston

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:36, Reply)

Cor!

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:37, Reply)

Has he been Yewtreed yet?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:37, Reply)

Ooh, apparently we have 2 vacancies for "Client Service Associates" available
if anyone's interested.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:37, Reply)

whom on here would you trust with your clients?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:45, Reply)

good point
edit: mind you, most of our clients are hedge funds and investment banks, so fuck them.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:52, Reply)

Snoop Diddy.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:37, Reply)

Diddy Lion
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 11:46, Reply)