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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I watched A Field in England last night.
I thought it was really fucking good and I thoroughly recommend you see it. It's really pretty twisted.

Recommend something to the class.

Alt: some twat says the police should be more polite. Should they? The ones who came round when I had my ex arrested were lovely. Really fucking fat though.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 7:17, 219 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I watched "Counting cars", "Fast and Loud" & "Rick Stien's India" it gave me something to do...
whilst drinking very cold beer.

I liked the good old days when a copper would give you a clip round the ear and threaten to go see your dad, who of course he went to school with, and if that happened you got another clip round the ear when you got home.
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 7:27, Reply)
Thread stomping cunt.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 7:30, Reply)
Yeah, what a complete and utter Al.

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 7:37, Reply)
we had a 'to do lists' thread less than 24h ago you knobber

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 7:55, Reply)
I recommend the class try to stop being so crap. Yesterday was terrible on here.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 7:32, Reply)
It's because you didn't post much Batts
You are the very heart of /OT.
Without you we are cast away on a sea of monotony.
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 7:36, Reply)
Monty is a hippy.
Discuss please.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 7:37, Reply)
In TH's Britain, the police will be armed with cattle prods
Fuck polite. Get results.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:03, Reply)
Will they use them to get people to MOO-ve?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:06, Reply)
*reaches for pint*

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:07, Reply)
Of course
Otherwise it'll be udder chaos
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:08, Reply)
*grabs two pints one for each hat*

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:09, Reply)
You have less chance of this happening
than you have of hell friesian over.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:16, Reply)
You're really milking this now.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:24, Reply)
It's beyond the pail. I see that now.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:27, Reply)
Hoof the fuck do you think you are?

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:27, Reply)
Bet you can't keep this up all day.
Go on, I dairy ya.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:30, Reply)
I'd really like to try
but I'd better not brisket
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:32, Reply)
Yeah, Cattle do it, I reckon

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:38, Reply)
Imagine if we could. People would be saying for WEEKS 'Jersey that pun thread abut cows'?

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:40, Reply)
We cud be at it for days.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:43, Reply)
I'm glad you're not a thicko like that GeordieJay chappy.
Otherwise all these puns would just go pasteurise and you wouldn't get them.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:46, Reply)
He should hide his face in shame.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:50, Reply)
I bet you a tanner he doesn't

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:52, Reply)
It needs to be mote drastic than a heifer-ty fine, that's for sure.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:25, Reply)
It's a great idea, I'd steak my reputation on it

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:30, Reply)
thats the sort of thing ewe should do...




I've done this wrong haven't I
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:21, Reply)
You rang?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:22, Reply)
Shaping up to be another rip-roaring /OT day!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:23, Reply)
I could play some music and we could skip in a circle if that would help

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:26, Reply)
What is A Field In England, Monts?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:29, Reply)
It's a black and white film set in the English Civil War.
It was released simultaneously on TV and in the cinemas last Friday.

It's downright freaky.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:39, Reply)
I heard the Radio 4 film programme talking about it.
Sounds a bit wanky.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:41, Reply)
Nah it's great.
I have no time for wanky films, this was very watchable.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:42, Reply)
Well that's good enough for me
I shall watch that this week
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:45, Reply)
Don't think I'll bother with /ot today, unless you're all going to be a bit less shit

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:34, Reply)
No can do, soz

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:34, Reply)
You will never find a more wretched hive of benders and spastics. We must be cautious.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:36, Reply)
How much less shit?
I could probably improve slightly on yesterday, but I can't guarantee it'll be that noticeable.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:40, Reply)
We should invite those Misery McWanker, Happy Phantom and Username Failed Moderation cahppies over here.
They'd brighten the place up.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:51, Reply)
I thought Alberts last words were very touching AB
Phappy Hampton is even more of a Bent Spastic than Nakers
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:54, Reply)
I quite liked how Ringo *still* didn't get it.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:58, Reply)
Oh man....
b3ta.com/questions/browntrousers/post2010799
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:03, Reply)
*facepalms*

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:10, Reply)
I genuinely have NO idea what he gets out of this place, it just seems to make him so vey, very, very miserable.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:16, Reply)
Its got that actor in it, you know Reece something,

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:34, Reply)
Home to Roost, starring John Thaw and Reece Dinsdale?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:40, Reply)
Withaknife.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:40, Reply)
NO! SHEARSMITH!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:41, Reply)
I was planning on going to see that tonight
But I have tickets for a gig instead, so I recommend going to see Nazoranai at the CBSO centre this evening.

Alt: You address a more pertinent point here - there was a time when there were minimum height and fitness requirements* for the police. Now they're all short and overweight. And some of them are women ferchrissakes.


*Was there?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:39, Reply)
You'll love the film. Manages to be really fucking psychedelic despite being black and white.
Really captures the confusion and delerium of a massive dose of mushrooms. Made me feel a bit sick.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:41, Reply)
Mmm... mushrooms.
Aren't we all supposed to bang on about how the director is a b3tan?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:43, Reply)
Oh are they?
In which case it was fucking rubbish, really gay. Kunt's performance was its only saving grace, perfoming his controversial hit single 'wee-wee, farts, shit, bums'. The bit with the 'kittinz' was appalling. Every ten seconds one of the cast shouts 'pearoast' and they all put balloon hats on.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:46, Reply)
I liked the bit with the dancing cats.
Bit disappointed by the lack of a Friday game though.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:46, Reply)
comedy customer names of the day, 09.07.13:
1. RC Butts
2. June Poon
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:44, Reply)
There's a Varsharani Shitole in my company

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:46, Reply)
and a Tom Wanko

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:47, Reply)
Duane Titcomb

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:49, Reply)
There's a Gary Shitstabber here

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:50, Reply)
Not really
I just wanted to join in, but these cunts have all got rather plain names.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:50, Reply)
I'm just typing rude words into our IM search function
Roseanne Crapco
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:51, Reply)
The girl in the front office is called Sophie Titwank, but I can't get any funny jokes out of that.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:54, Reply)
Our old receptionist was called Vas Deferens

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:55, Reply)
My dad's maiden name was Smashu Bach-Dourzin.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:59, Reply)
Wait a minute
He's not related to Kickah Bach-Dourzin, is he?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:00, Reply)
It is quite a common name.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:01, Reply)
Yes, of the Staffordshire Bach-Dourzins.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:02, Reply)
Hahaha 'Staffordshire' sounds a bit funny

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:03, Reply)
OMG
Forsa Bach-Dourzin is my cousin!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:05, Reply)
NO WAY!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:06, Reply)
I was at school with him!
We made up a rude nickname for him. 'Gary the Warry'!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:52, Reply)
James Knoblich
Wait...should I be doing this? Nah, it's probably ok...
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:50, Reply)
You sure should.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:51, Reply)
Annie Cuntapay
Seriously
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:54, Reply)
Has anyone heard from Rory?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23188875
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:58, Reply)
Bugger, I've just thought up a joke based on this thread, hang on...

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 8:59, Reply)
Oh yeah? I watched A Garden In Copnor last night!
hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:00, Reply)
HAhahahahahaha
Wait... I don't get it?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:01, Reply)
The second I finish off this time machine
I'm going back to the 70's and climbing up Suzi Quatro like some kind of sexy, diminutive climbing frame.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:08, Reply)
Have you ever heard The Pleasure Seekers?
That was her first band, with her sisters. They did one great record called What A Way to Die', it's fucking magic. Plus her leather suit in Happy Days makes my winkle feel funny.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:14, Reply)
I haven't, but that will be my mission today
Oh god, I love her so much. I really love 70's chicks.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:16, Reply)
Little tip for you, if you do manage to travel back there:
Get yourself a job as a window cleaner or milkman or driving instructor - 70s chicks couldn't get enough of them.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:19, Reply)
In which case you should try and find the live footage of Babe Ruth performing 'The Mexican' on YouTube. The 'chick' singing is quite something.
Plus, if you don't know the song, it's a fucking masterpiece with some tidy guitar work, as well as being a 'b-boy anthem' because of the oft-sampled bass and drums break.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:19, Reply)
You're welcome
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTPE2pNtKWQ
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:21, Reply)
Holy shit!
That's insane!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:38, Reply)
Fuck work
I plan on spending my morning learning that riff.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:39, Reply)
I truly am a mine of utterly uninteresting and useless information.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:23, Reply)
Which is why we should sit down somewhere and smoke weed
We can talk bollocks to each other endlessly
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:32, Reply)
I am keener on this idea than a fully-laden articulated lorry on its way out of the Colmans factory.

And that's very keen indeed.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:34, Reply)
Woah
That's pretty damn keen. I think you're serious about this.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:38, Reply)
watch that clip I linked to. WATCH IT NOW!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:39, Reply)

Oh my....
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:41, Reply)
My computer doesn't like your link :o(

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:42, Reply)
Ah, shame
Well it's the girl from Babe Ruth in a lycra jump suit. Just use your imagination.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:43, Reply)
Oh I'm using it alright.
As a battering ram.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:46, Reply)
oh, YOU WENT THERE!!!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:02, Reply)
You know it girlfriend!
*clicks*
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:05, Reply)
I watched 'Be Cool' last night, that was pretty good.
I started watching 'Two Greedy Italians' last week, that's not bad either, plus it's funny watching the two of them argue.

Alt: Only as polite as everyone should be.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:15, Reply)
Two Greedy Italians is one of my favourite television programmes ever.
I find it utterly charming.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:17, Reply)
Very much so
Morning Monty, how are we?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:20, Reply)
Not bad ta, you?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:22, Reply)
Not too shabby thanks
Heading to Warwick Castle this weekend, rather looking forward to that!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:33, Reply)
It's a good castle, but slightly ruined by its commercial exploitation.
I understand they have to do it to make money but it's a bit of a shame.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:35, Reply)
Thats the TWO SWORD empire for you

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:36, Reply)
Two Hats' brother?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:38, Reply)
It’s Twoeys nemesis

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:41, Reply)
We haven't spoken in some time
I'd rather not go into it right now
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:41, Reply)
Apologies, clearly you're hurting right now.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:47, Reply)
No, it's ok
I need to come to terms with it at some point
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:57, Reply)
Shall have to have a see, sounds a bit sad though.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:38, Reply)
agreeing with this
The dungeon was grim, apparently during one very cold winter it was so full it was standing room only. Unfortunately due to the cold no one could be bothered to visit the prisoners and they all froze to death in one enormous fleshy lump, that then had to be hacked to pieces with axes to empty the dungeon.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:38, Reply)
I...I have an erection.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:39, Reply)
well there were woman and children in there!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:42, Reply)
OUBLIETTE!
One of my favourite words. For reasons...I don't wish to go into.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:44, Reply)
Mine too
I like them with cheese and ham...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:49, Reply)
It is both great and fucking awful
they've turned it into a ghastly "theme park" of a castle. Look out for the hole in the floor of the dungeon into which a prisoner would be forced and locked in, only for the rivers of effluent from the other prisoners to flow over them until they died of cold/dysentery/misery.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:36, Reply)
Oof, fucking hell.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:38, Reply)
its a bad way to Di-onne

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:40, Reply)
clickin dis

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:23, Reply)
I recommend getting out at lunchtime rather than eating a soggy sarnie at your desk
Its fucking lovely here today. I am a shade of mahogany after the weekend

Alt:
All people should be polite
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:24, Reply)
thats the Delhi helpdesk for you

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:27, Reply)
You're always a shade of mahogany, you fucking bud-bud.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:27, Reply)
fuck off paki cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:29, Reply)
Did someone mention Mohogany???????

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:33, Reply)
Isnt that the scottish new year?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:33, Reply)
I thought it was being faithful to your partner

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:34, Reply)
Nah, he's talking about the guy that does all the free online books

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:35, Reply)
No, that's 'Hootenanny'.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:40, Reply)
No thats the Owl babysitting service

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:41, Reply)
Do you get a free Teat with that?

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:42, Reply)
I think they are called M&M's now

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:43, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:43, Reply)
Bra-vo, Arthur Bonzerelli. Bra-vo.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:44, Reply)
eeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhh

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:50, Reply)
Are you an Alice In Chains fan? They're touring is all.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:34, Reply)
I am indeed
Not sure who is singing now Layne's dead. He did a fucking good YEAH/SCREAM that guy
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:48, Reply)
Saw them as Download, new singer was fucking brilliant.
Black fella mind.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:49, Reply)
Dirt was an amazing album
Dark. As. Fuck
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:49, Reply)
Jerry Cantrell and William DuVall are sharing vocals, I heard

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:52, Reply)
I have that taped. Looks good.
I recommend the hot chocolate from the drinks machine at Durham prison, you'd be crazee to risk the tea.

I also recommend up and coming movie classic 'Bula Quo'. I haven't seen it but I can't see how it can fail to join the likes of 'The Boys In Blue' and 'Drop Dead Fred' in the movie fame academy hall.
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:43, Reply)
Bula Quo?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:48, Reply)
Status Quo film

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:53, Reply)
The making of that was a pain in the arse
It was off then on then off again
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:53, Reply)
OH COME ON THIS IS QUITE GOOD
/Chompy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:58, Reply)
Fuck.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:59, Reply)
Every scene is the same as the last one, just a slightly different tempo.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:00, Reply)
A film about Status Quo, starring Status Quo.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:53, Reply)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOORWICH
https://twitter.com/Aiannucci/status/354196483253350400/photo/1
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:46, Reply)
I just can't imagine it'll be good...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:50, Reply)
There is a nagging doubt that it might not quite be as preposterously amusing as the first series of I'm Alan Partridge
but it's got to be worth a look. I particularly love that it's in the grottiest, oldest cinema in a really pikey bit of Norwich
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:53, Reply)
Morning monto
I have heard that it is an excellent film, I might watch it tomorrow.

Alt; police are hit and miss, but to be honest I'd rather they were a but rude and got the job done than lovely and useless. The ones round here seem alright to be honest. We have a direct radio link in the pub, and most of them are pretty cool, game for a bit if banter on slow nights too.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:46, Reply)
CATTLE PRODS

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:56, Reply)
*shakes a tail feather*

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:58, Reply)
I've lost my fucking voice, Windy
How am I suppose to keep my fans happy?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:00, Reply)
Elephant impression?
World's longest cable-laying attempt?
Lengthy diatribe about the conditions in inner-city schools?
Epic raspberry?
A really satisfying wee, the kind where you've been holding it for aaaaaaaaaaaages?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:04, Reply)
All excellent suggestions, thank you

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:14, Reply)
WHICH ONE
I NEED TO KNOW
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:16, Reply)
The one about weeing probably
I've got an enormous bladder, so I think it could be quite the spectacle.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:23, Reply)
I heard it was gash.
And that you are gash.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:49, Reply)
Are you a faggot, gash?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:53, Reply)
My boss' surname is Gash
Ironically, he's not a fan
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:53, Reply)
Cunt imagine why.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:55, Reply)
Ooh, candles!

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:56, Reply)
\o/

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:56, Reply)
Happy Candleday DG

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:56, Reply)
Where did the last six years go?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:56, Reply)
Alcoholic haze? #Scarpe
Drug-fuelled haze? #Monty #Stunned
Cooking? #Everyone
Raping? #Chompy

There are others but this isn't as funny as I'd hoped it would be
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:59, Reply)
How did your interview go yesterday?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:04, Reply)
Hard to tell. It was a tad painful being a telephone interview.
Got another today at 1.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:06, Reply)
Good-o.
Best of British.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:08, Reply)
Ta. Got another at 1 tomorrow.
Today's is a permanent contract, but the starting salary is about £8k less than the one I'm interviewing for tomorrow - but it's a two year contract with no hope of being moved onto something else. This is something to mull over in the unlikely event I get offered both.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:10, Reply)
Money or permanent.
The bastard conundrum.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:12, Reply)
Yup.
Permanency has a definite appeal in this climate, even though the job possibly won't be quite as interesting.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:14, Reply)
Actually I think bastards tend to be both
Although I suppose having such an error "rubbed out" would probably cost less than what you'll end up paying over the next 18 years.

Unless you got caught that is, factor in loss of earnings over the course of a spell inside, plus lessened job prospects when you get out... this is obviously entirely dependent on your personal circumstances and skill set, plus the efficiency of your local police department, or indeed their average bribe level. I suppose you could flee the country but that incurs further costs. Frankly there's too many intangibles to accurately calculate Stunned. Sorry.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:15, Reply)
+ ny

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:55, Reply)
That's quite good for you
Morning Monters
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:56, Reply)
alright Darthles.
Are you still mental?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:03, Reply)
I can't tell if this is a hair-rufllingly affectionate "mental" or the bad kind
Oh you mean the MOD PILLS don't you. Not at the minute but hopefully be rectifying that on Thursday. I quite literally need help. Thank you for asking.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:06, Reply)
Just checking.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:14, Reply)
Dashed decent of you
How the devil?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:16, Reply)
Highs and lows, dear boy, highs and lows.
My child access is literally perfect these days, I get her overnight EVERY WEEKEND. But I'm having to sell my flat cos I iz too poor. This breaks my heart but hey, it's only bricks and mortar.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:19, Reply)
That is rather sad
but I think in the light of the good news it pales, very happy indeed for you. Finding somewhere smaller or getting off the property ladder?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:21, Reply)
Off the ladder, sadly.
I'll have about sixty grand once everyone's paid off - ludicrous as it sounds that's not enough for a deposit.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:26, Reply)
Bloody hell
Still, if that means you'll be clear of all the shite, you can't underestimate that sort of weight off your mind can you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:34, Reply)
I will be debt free for the first time since 1995

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:36, Reply)
It depends where you look
£60k is more than enough in a shit place.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 11:04, Reply)
I missed the Chilli Festival at Seaton Delaval this weekend
That was gash
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:56, Reply)
I found Scotch Bonnets in Asda for the first time in months on Sunday
Today I have the healthy anal glow that can only be obtained one of two ways
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:57, Reply)
I bought 3 Ghost Jolokia chillies the other week
FUCKING HELL
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 9:58, Reply)
Never had one
Recommended? Or is that not the word?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:01, Reply)
APPROACH WITH CAUTION

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:03, Reply)
Only if you want an arse like the Japanese flag.
Again.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:04, Reply)
Bear in mind who you're talking to old boy
My shitpipe is more of a wind tunnel. Haven't had to push since '03
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:08, Reply)
Darthy when you next on a visit home?

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:06, Reply)
Fuck knows actually mate
Some time in August probably. The missus' family want to go camping in the Peak District. I've ordered my hazmat suit and am preparing my escape plan, obviously.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:07, Reply)
Near your parents area, a certain food shop has opened
You have to go there I'll gaz you up the Info.
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:11, Reply)
Nice one
Hit me up
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:16, Reply)
On it's way.

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:17, Reply)
Are you two real life pals?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:16, Reply)
Not yet
We're both from Nottingham and will be doing beer at some point in the future though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:17, Reply)
It does appear that double H is trying to groom DF

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:25, Reply)
Groom? haha
You don't know much about Darth reputation, do you?
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:29, Reply)
I am giving DF the benefit of teh doubt
And assuming that he will at least pretend to play hard to get
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:30, Reply)
hard to get - IN THE BOYS' SHOWERS!!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:31, Reply)
Half a packet of wine gums and he's anyones

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:34, Reply)
I am shocked and appalled
Being part of an same-sex dance troupe doesn't necessarily make me a screaming quendotron you know
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:34, Reply)
I think even I might consider those 'a bit much' and my palate is fucking ruined.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:04, Reply)
I have to agree with you on that

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:05, Reply)
what a pair of queers

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:09, Reply)
Believe me I'm a chilli head, but even I aint that stupid
www.spicelines.com/2009/02/worlds_hottest_chili_the_dorse.htm
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:14, Reply)
queer

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:15, Reply)
The dorset naga is a fucking beast

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:04, Reply)
So is YM.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:12, Reply)
:o

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:15, Reply)
10/10... a classic.

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:18, Reply)
MONTY
I learned that riff.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:15, Reply)
Crips 4eva

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:15, Reply)
That's some mean pickin', boy.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:16, Reply)
New thread

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 10:28, Reply)

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