Is it bad form to have a massive shit at work?
Do you have smokers where you work? Do they take the piss with their fag breaks.
What petty workplace woes fuck you right off?

Alt: Is there anything other than alcohol worth people bringing back for you from their holidays?

Altalt: When was the last time you drank alcohol down the park?
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:01, 180 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

My throat hurts and I want to die
does anyone have any recommendations for a nice mid-priced bottle of whisky for someone to give to their dad who is a bit into whisky?
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:04, Reply)

You'll find that people's definition of 'mid-priced' varies quite a bit on here.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:07, Reply)

anything in a box or a plastic bottle

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:10, Reply)

I dunno, my father i law likes Jura, it is quite peaty though

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:08, Reply)

I got a bottle of 25 year old Jura at Christmas
It was a bit Meh.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:09, Reply)

Jura's just rubbish entry level pishwater, much like Glenfiddich.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:13, Reply)

I prefer a blend
I don't care what you say I still like Jamessons
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:16, Reply)

I like some blends.
Anti-blend snobbery is stupid. The only important thing is how good it tastes.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:18, Reply)

Naked Grouse if he likes sweet whiskies.
Ledaig if he likes peaty ones.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:11, Reply)

Cheers, a ledaig like this?
www.masterofmalt.com/whiskies/ledaig-10-year-old-whisky/
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:23, Reply)

it's peaty as fuck, go easy with it.
Bruichladdich is also fucking lovely.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:25, Reply)

some rep bought me a bottle of Bruichladdich as a thank you for acting as a last-minute speaker for him at some event.
I was quietly impressed with it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:35, Reply)

You're doing it wrong then
Usual protocol is to bang on incessantly about it on here.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:38, Reply)

it really is rather nice.
Quite strong though, so needs a tiny dash of water.

It goes well with gorgonzola.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:42, Reply)

If he's a bit into whisky
try Poit Dhubh as it's really not that common. It's also, strictly, a double malt, which might interest him.

a 12 year old will set you back about 30 sovs. Or 5 years in prison, depending if this paragraph is actually related to the previous one.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:26, Reply)

old pulteney
Would be my recommendation you can get the 12yr for about 30 quid and it has one of the best bottle shapes I have seen quite unusual.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:03, Reply)

I'm drinking this at the moment
blog.thewhiskyexchange.com/2013/05/talisker-port-ruighe/

It's gert lush.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:48, Reply)

we're not allowed to eat or drink at our desks.
That quends me right off.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:07, Reply)

Do you have to get a hall pass if you want to go to toilet?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:10, Reply)

Put your hand up, and say "Miss! Miss!"

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:14, Reply)

Mum! I mean Miss!

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:49, Reply)

we had a kid at my junior school that used to say that all the time

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:04, Reply)

People take the piss in loads of different ways, I have no one here above me or working for me
so they can pretty much do as they please for all I care.

Alt: Yes but a bottle of duty free goes down well

Altalt: Yesterday, had a picnic and a bottle of wine
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:08, Reply)

ooh a rare rory thread
YES, it's disgusting, and even in the poshest city offices, there are still a metric fucktonne of animals who leave the place in a state

yes and no, they are v hard working. but i've worked in other jobs where the smokers properly took the piss.

not having a microwave. it really fucks up bringing in healthy lunches/left-overs.

alt: GIANT SALTY ALMOND TOBLERONES, THANK YOU RORY

altalt: bottle of pink champagne in the chelsea physic garden last week, does that count?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:11, Reply)

We have a microwave at work
but it's fucking rubbish. It takes 10 minutes just to heat up soup. They might as well install a hob.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:13, Reply)

the excuse here is that they don't want the floor to smell
but people bring hot food in/down from the staff restaurant so guess what, it still fucking smells

FREE DECENT MICROWAVES FOR ALL
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:15, Reply)

Ridiculous
As long as it's kept clean, it'd be fine. People are so dumb.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:22, Reply)

Leftovers?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:18, Reply)

clean leftovers
ie you made two portions, and put it on a fresh plate/tupperware box straightaway.

NOT fork in, fork out, saliva infested half-eaten shit.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:48, Reply)

Not rory and everyone agrees with me

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:24, Reply)

lies and lies

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:47, Reply)

What if there's no evidence of said massive shit save a peaty tang in the air not quite covered by a quick spray of Febreeze?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:29, Reply)

still disgusting
if you must shit, do it in your own disgusting bathroom
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:47, Reply)

it's a natural bodily function, what's the beef?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:50, Reply)

there is nothing natural about some people

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:58, Reply)

altalt: as long as you necked it from the bottle and harangued passersby shouting "ITS STRAWBERRY BLONDE YOU FUCKS!" and then had a little cry whilst waddling around on your knock knees then sure

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:31, Reply)

I DO NOT HAVE KNOCK KNEES
monty's kid did, however, confirm the ginger thing. time to break out the sharpies.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:47, Reply)

ie

You going to cut her gangland style for dissing you?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:52, Reply)

with a black highlighter!
so yer, gangnam style more like
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:57, Reply)

There's a really petty guy at work
Once he reported one of my colleagues to HR because the sound of his label printer bothered him.
Naturally, my colleague started the printer running the next morning, then went out. He set it to print several hundred labels.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:12, Reply)

I read that as 'a really pretty guy' and thought you meant me xx

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:14, Reply)

Baby, you don't need people to tell you that x

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:20, Reply)

Although it would be really weird if you and I worked together and didn't realise it

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:20, Reply)

oh baby, if we worked together we'd be exchanging smouldering looks over the colour printer xx

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:24, Reply)

smouldering looks jizz
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:30, Reply)

natch

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:34, Reply)

I usually use disabled bogs, if I need a dump.
Can relax a bit more.
Altalt, same as Mr Hare, park barbecue, nice bottle pf plonk.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:12, Reply)

Hands up who thinks I'm Rory

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:17, Reply)

HA IN YOUR FACE RSWIPE

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:21, Reply)

alright Monty

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:30, Reply)

nobody thinks it
we all KNOW it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:48, Reply)

You're the only one saying it
You're like those flids that lost all their million pounds on the first question and it dropped through the hole on that TV show, I forget what it's called.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:54, Reply)

WHO WANTS TO BE AN IRISH PROPERTY DEVELOPER?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:57, Reply)

Alright, ask me something only Rory would know

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:16, Reply)

The smokers here are only permitted to smoke in their lunch break.
When I worked in a hotel many years ago I took up smoking so that I would be able to occasionally have a break.

Alt: No, unless you are prepared to smuggle some weed back for me.

Altalt: Too long ago, man. Too long ago.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:17, Reply)

People have to shit, don't see the problem with that.
But that said, if you do clean up after yourself, you wouldn't shit all up the bowl and leave a dozen bits of toilet paper lying around at home.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:18, Reply)

Also: Yaaayyy
www.guardian.co.uk/society/2013/jul/29/nhs-direct-111-telephone-service-risk
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-23465966

And as an aside, best researched article ever. www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-23489702
(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:20, Reply)

No one cares.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:29, Reply)

Nope.

( Kroney, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:32, Reply)

I worked out that my redundancy will be either £10,332.92 if I'm chucked before November the 20th, or £12891.50 if I'm chucked after.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:35, Reply)

OK.

( Kroney, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:37, Reply)

MATHS

(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:38, Reply)

just don't invest it in a hedge fund, ok?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:46, Reply)

What he does with his money
Is a privet matter.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:50, Reply)

plz die

(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:51, Reply)

Harsh.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:52, Reply)

alt alt
I drank prosecco and red wine at Opera in the Park on Saturday.

Does that count?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:20, Reply)

NO IT FUCKING DOESN@T YOU WOOLY WOOFTER

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:21, Reply)

oh.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:26, Reply)

Someone in our building has the most hellish bowels.
and they seem to not be able to flush, leaving a daily eyeful of oaty goodness for all to see. Horrible.

People leaving things in the fridge pisses me off. Stinkin after a weekend.

Alt. Massive drugs.

AltAlt. Not since my teens
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:21, Reply)

I think that fridge is broken.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:31, Reply)

Tis new.
Might need turning up a bit though, or people just eat horrible rubbish
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:35, Reply)

I try to hide in the less used top floor bogs if I can't hang on.
I am not a fan of having a poo in a public location.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:28, Reply)

I hate forums that require you to register before you can view them.

( Kroney, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:29, Reply)

Some people take the piss when on the loo
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2028725
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:30, Reply)

The shared Xerox MFDs we're obliged to use
Are the bane of my fucking life. Constantly out of toner, or have errors, and they change the font of pdfs to something unreadable. And IT refuse to support it if I buy my own printer for my office.

Altalt: Barbecues and picnics in the park all the time, so - that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:32, Reply)

Nobody that works in IT would support your personal property.
Why should they?
( Kroney, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:33, Reply)

Hand-bra?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:37, Reply)

For some academic's man-boobs?
I don't think so.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:38, Reply)

I didn't think that one through did I?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:40, Reply)

My hands are delicate, finely engineered, precision instruments.
As such, I don't fancy getting the sour milk from his lactating bitch-tits on them.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:41, Reply)

It's not my personal property
I'd be buying it for work, from one of my accounts.

If they don't want to support standalone printers, they should fucking provide a printing service which is more use than a chocolate fireguard..
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:38, Reply)

They absolutely should, yes.
That still doesn't mean they should support whatever printer you think it appropriate to provide. That isn't the way it works.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:40, Reply)

I should clarify, here, a couple of things
one - by support, I mean "allow me to download the driver" and "don't come into my office and remove it" - I don't expect them to stock consumables or anything and
two - I will happily have any printer they recommend. I don't want something weird. And I will pay for it. I don't think that I somehow know better than them. I will buy my own consumables for it. What I want is to be able to print something when I need it fucking printed. Not in 3 days time when the replacement toner that the MFD automatically ordered for itself (Oh, sorry, did I fail to mention the "not carrying any toner for any of them on site" part?) has arrived and been located on the other side of the University where it has invetiably been wrongly delivered.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:45, Reply)

I'm sorry you're annoyed with your printers
It sounds like you have a shitty IT department. I'm just pointing out that it's almost universal that IT departments will only support the kit they provide.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:48, Reply)

My IT department is shit, as is the one in every company I've worked in.
Except when it was a two person team with no policies but just fixed things.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:50, Reply)

Most of the time, the shitness comes from stupid call logging practices
with tickets and SLAs and shit. Bureaucratic bullshit. People call us up and we fix whatever it is on the phone. If there's a reason we can't do something, or support something, we'll say so. If you don't like it, tough shit.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:54, Reply)

Shit.

( Kroney, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:54, Reply)

did rory just turn into AL THE DELETER?
sad, sad times
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:51, Reply)

No Al the deleter just returned. I don't like having Rory on the end of my posts.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:55, Reply)

oh
WTP
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:57, Reply)

Worse than Pakers?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:58, Reply)

poor apey
always the butt of everyone's jokes
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:59, Reply)

Bit racist.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:02, Reply)

^ UPSET ^

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:58, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2030786
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:04, Reply)

No Rory hasn't deleted anything. actual Al The Deleter is up to his old tricks

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:57, Reply)

it's a slippery slope to wishing someone was DEAD from here
edit well, the below proves MY point
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:59, Reply)

what's a slippery slope?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:02, Reply)

Your mums vagina.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:03, Reply)

I hate you so much, I wish you had died a few years ago before you ruined the internet.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:05, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2030791
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:07, Reply)

yeah.. we're talking about a different use of the word "support" here.
I really just mean "let me have a standalone printer which I will maintain"

Oddly, my "local" IT, as in the school, are great, and are as irritated with the printers as anyone. But central IT writes policy.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:51, Reply)

Here if people want to install their home printers on roaming laptops, we'll provide the drivers but no support.
The branches get printers bought through the IT budget fully supported. We will not allow them to install any kit they buy themselves, full stop. I've told people I can't support USB mice before now. It does make sense from an IT perspective because without a fairly homogenous pool of hardware, it can become surprisingly difficult to troubleshoot problems quite quickly.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:59, Reply)

I agree
So what IT need, therefore, is to tell me which printer I CAN buy and install. I don't even need a choice. So they could have one acceptable printer on a list and I would buy it. That's about as homogenous a pool as you could ask for, really.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:04, Reply)

No arguments here!
I expect they're either locked into a contract with the original supplier of those printers, have no budget to replace them or just don't give a shit. Having worked in a school, I could believe any or all of these.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:09, Reply)

Or are contractually allowed to provide?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:51, Reply)

this is, I suspect, the route of the problem
Also, because no-one picked up on this in the general shenanigans, can someone tell me how the blue fuck a printer is changing fonts on a pdf? that's just witchcraft.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:55, Reply)

I've had that occasionally.
Instead of letters, the printer just prints rows of little boxes.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:56, Reply)

this converts all the text to a totally different font
where the capitals are massive and the lower case letters are tiny. It's just about readable, but it's a fucking pain
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:58, Reply)

"root"

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:05, Reply)

Do you really need that much support?
Turn it off and on again, change ink pull out paper jams. If it stops working use the shit one again. Most IT things can be fixed without opening a fucking ticket.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:44, Reply)

see above.
"support" means "not coming into my office and removing because having a standalone printer is unauthorised"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:46, Reply)

Fucking IT monkeys

(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:50, Reply)

I have worked at various places where people take the piss.
in a large office many years ago, everyday the first half hour the same bunch of people would spend that time talking about last nights soaps, people that disappear to the toilet for half an hour, people that pin an extra 10 Mins to each end of their lunch break, people that have their coats on and out the door 5 Mins before the official finish time....the list goes on
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:35, Reply)

was this in coventry?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:44, Reply)

Errrrggggggggg..........*shudders*
No, but I think every workplace has a Placid
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:46, Reply)

If by drank you mean was up to my nuts in guts and by park you mean your mum then, Saturday.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:35, Reply)

YES THAT@S EXACTLY WHAT I MEANT CHEERS BAKED APE

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:36, Reply)

Over half an hour for a YM answer
this may be some kinda record
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:37, Reply)

HE@S THE ROY CASTLE OF OT THAT BAKED APE SO HE IS

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:38, Reply)

I just had to run outside to close my car windows
I am now completely soaked to the skin from head to toe.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:42, Reply)

:(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:42, Reply)

also it's sunny here
yet again the South proves itself against the North and weird middle bit of England
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:43, Reply)

to be fair
it pissed it down last night from about 11 onwards.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:49, Reply)

i hope you don't catch pneumonia and die : (

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:43, Reply)

I don't think pneumonia is caused by rain.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:44, Reply)

voodoo innit?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:45, Reply)

I thought you people were allergic to water?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:51, Reply)

Smoking is cool.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:46, Reply)

only the cool die young

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:47, Reply)

he can talk to his daughter by ouija board for her 5th birthday
#tough love
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:49, Reply)

given the insanely stupid things you do to your body in the name of "health" and weight loss
You're in no position to lecture Battered about the risks of his smoking. At least cancer's only a statistical chance.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:54, Reply)

+ increased exponentially by smoking

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:55, Reply)

yes.
Well, actually, it's probably not as simple as that. but there's an argument that if you happen to be not genetically predisposed to cancer, then all the smoking in the world won't give you cancer.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:57, Reply)

well battered has already proven himself to have defective genes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:58, Reply)

I like those odds

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:59, Reply)

who the fuck would take that risk?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:00, Reply)

About 20% of the population?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:05, Reply)

I dunno
Who the fuck would try a starvation detox diet when you don't even have the advantage of genetic odds as to whether it's harmful?

Also, everything is a risk. You live in London, which is riskier than most places for all sorts of reasons, but I don't notice anyone telling you that you really should stop that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:07, Reply)

that's because london is supporting the rest of the country and they need us!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:10, Reply)

haha. yeah, course it is.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:12, Reply)

we are the Baywatch floaty red thing to your bloated sinking corpse

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:13, Reply)

well, if it's a bloated corpse you're clearly fucking useless at your job, then.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:15, Reply)

who then want to get uppity about it.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:13, Reply)

Soon our Naked Mole Rat saviours will rise up and save us from the dreaded cancerous plague
and we can all go back to looking like James Dean again.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:01, Reply)

This
I was hugely tempted to write into the ASA about the warnings on cigarettes as they imply that you will definitively get cancer by smoking. But then I realised that it was a) a waste of time b) the sort of thing only a huge prick would do
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:15, Reply)

You didn't want to waste your time then?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:16, Reply)

also and I realise I am talking to myself here
I wondered statistically, if living in the countryside and smoking was better for you than living in the city and not smoking.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:18, Reply)

the law says
do as i say, not as i do
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 12:56, Reply)

Why would I ever shit at home when I get paid for it at work?
I am a smoker, I have 5 or 6 fag breaks a day but if I didn't I'd just do something else in those times.
Workplace woes: Today's canteen main course is Artichoke and aubergine tart with gorgonzola. That's clearly incomplete as none of those things have been hacked from the carcass of a dead animal.

Alt: Duty free cigs
Altalt: ages ago, I'm a responsible adult.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:03, Reply)

Someting else like, I don't know, some work?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:15, Reply)

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:06, Reply)

gothamist.com/2013/07/22/small_penis_interview_winner.php
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:11, Reply)

No. Yes. Stop fucking moaning about it, I don't smoke that much during the day nor am I making a cup of tea every 5 minutes, there is no difference.
Busybodies who worry about what everyone else is doing and how this may be some sort of perceived slight on THEM.

Alt: Fags.

Altalt: first thing this morning.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:11, Reply)

^ This ^
Af'noon Stunned poster
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:15, Reply)

Afternoon, HH.
Apologies for the delay in responding, I was just having a shit and a fag.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:49, Reply)

bored of this thread now.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:17, Reply)

THEN START ANOTHER FUCKING ONE YOU WHINY FREE PIZZA FUCK

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:19, Reply)

I just did.
If you promise to be nice, I'll promise not to delete it.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:25, Reply)

Will do Al!!
You're alright, you are
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:27, Reply)

There's a chap who might kill himself over on /talk at the moment.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:19, Reply)

???

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:20, Reply)

Dunno, he's been banging on about it for a while, so he might be an attention seeker.
But if he's serious, today may be the day.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:22, Reply)

I will offer my support at this time

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:23, Reply)

That might push him over the edge

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:26, Reply)

Tough love may work
b3ta.com/talk/7671330
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:27, Reply)

The beasts in my warehouse don't think so. Stinking fucking animals.
Only two smokers here* - and they don't stick out as taking the piss. This is because the entire warehouse staff take the fucking piss every single time they have a break. They go back 5-10 minutes late without fail. I have to go down there and tell them to get back to work, the lazy Placids. I detest them. One's like fucking Rain Man, he remembers dates and stuff like a computer but is otherwise a retard, one's 65 and blatantly coasting to retirement, one's 40 and still lives at home with his spastic parents (whom he gets to phone in sick when he as a LIEgraine etc etc. Fucking scum.

Alt: yer, fags
Altalt: couple of weeks back, bbq in London Fields innit

*I don't smoke during the day
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Jul 2013, 13:20, Reply)