Hiya guys, only me! Yes, that's right - me. You know, I'm always on here.
Yeah it is a bit isn't it.

Looks like I'm going to be stuck at home on my own this evening as my missus has to work. What delights or otherwise does Freeder Neet hold for YOU, you prick?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:30, 126 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

First

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:32, Reply)

near the top

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:33, Reply)

Have you bee at the zoo?
news.sky.com/story/1126535/tapir-attack-toddler-mauled-during-zoo-visit
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:32, Reply)

hahahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:33, Reply)

And Im at the other halfs tonight
for spliffage, wineage and a takeaway cos am sick of cooking.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:33, Reply)

don't you mean 'cookage'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:34, Reply)

That would have kept the rhythm, aye.
Rhythm is gonna get yer
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:35, Reply)

HUH

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:35, Reply)

it's like that

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:36, Reply)

"takeawayage", surely?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:49, Reply)

It's Mexotrixate Fridays tonight, i'll be knocked out by 10.
I gotta go cash point so I can get out cash so I can get a sushi delivery 'cus thats what I well fancy tonight.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:33, Reply)

I might stuff my face with bad food and drink a bottle of el plonko

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:35, Reply)

That is most definitely a Friday plan

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:35, Reply)

Why the fuck not.
What you got in mind?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:36, Reply)

Pitifully, I think a frozen pizza pimped up with olives oregano and jalapenos.
That way I'll have an edible bad food sesh for under two quid :o((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:38, Reply)

Oh hun =(
What about a bag of chippy-chips and a savaloy?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:43, Reply)

Not even...
top ten Transformers
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:35, Reply)

or shopping centres

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:39, Reply)

Liddle bit of regional humor for you there

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:39, Reply)

one of my loser prick friends is coming over
And he'd better bring weed with him or else I'll kick his fucking face off
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:34, Reply)

I...I couldn't get any.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:35, Reply)

My lad is having trouble too.
He has a plan B and I have a plan C if plan B fails.
Other than that we're fucked!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:38, Reply)

I can't afford it any more.
I used to do an eighth a day, now it's more like an eighth every three months if that.

NOT FOR LONG. When my flat sale goes through I am getting at least an ounce.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:42, Reply)

His habit more than mine
but I ent gonna say no!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:48, Reply)

Right, where are my kicking sandals?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:43, Reply)

I shall be performing the ROCK N ROLL task of finishing the beading on the floor
whilst drinking.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:34, Reply)

*devil horns*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:35, Reply)

*eats bat*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:36, Reply)

NO CRICKET CHAT

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:44, Reply)

Hahah, I love this..... "Reason for claiming asalam sir?"....... "Ermmm......er......ahhhhh.....well...."
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2387669/Islamist-extremists-kidnap-Pakistani-father-threaten-kill-refuses-shave-30-inch-moustache.html
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:36, Reply)

asylum aleikum

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:37, Reply)

I reckon this is the asylum seeker's equivolent to "my dog ate my homework".
They should give it to him purely to see him win those Chap Olympics things.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:39, Reply)

hahaha I agree

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:42, Reply)

I tweeted Katie Price today
telling her she must have a cavernous baby cannon, as she has done yet another small dick kiss and tell.

Slag.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:36, Reply)

I like this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:38, Reply)

the missus is working tonight
and I cant be fucked to do anything social so I shall sit with a nice bottle of wine and a J or two in the garden
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:38, Reply)

or +O
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:40, Reply)

ROCK N ROLL

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:41, Reply)

long time working that one out

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:43, Reply)

Fucking NOTHING
Just got back from work, had some lunch, and now I have a whole weekend of doing FUCK ALL ahead of me.
I'm quite looking forward to it.

You should do some colouring in, Monty. That'll keep you entertained.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:39, Reply)

colouring in sat sun and mon nights, avec la petit boyce

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:44, Reply)

last time he did that the neighbours complained
and he ran out of white paint
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:44, Reply)

hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:47, Reply)

ALL teh candles!!!!!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:49, Reply)

nice candles

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:49, Reply)

With utter joy and a song in my heart..
..I shall be taking my youngest son to a birthday party at one of those fabulous soft-play warehouses. I'll get to chit-chat with all the other parents! What's that? Nonono, the conversation WILL be stimulating and they're not all unbearable cunts to a man/woman. I am delighted for this opportunity to delay my reaching a state of alcoholic stupor.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:43, Reply)

Poor old 'Bill Clay'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:44, Reply)

Poor old 'Bill Clay'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:44, Reply)

Poor old 'Me'

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:45, Reply)

Spark up a zute and jump in the ballpit.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:46, Reply)

This isn't 'Grown Ups 2' y'know

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:48, Reply)

donna what that is, soz.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:50, Reply)

s'alright, I had to google 'zute'
I thought it was a suit
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:54, Reply)

I think it might be a regonal term for it maybe. donno.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 17:02, Reply)

Poor old ANDREW MARR

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:47, Reply)

Speaking of unbearable cunts
I had a stupid bint on the phone this afternoon complaining that when she rang the fax number we'd given her, all she could hear was beeping noises.

After a lot of tedious back-and-forth questioning, it transpired that she didn't actually have the document she needed to fax us; she didn't have a fax machine anyway; and she was a dozy fucking mare.

I begin to understand why Kroney is so ready to murder.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:47, Reply)

Because he's an unbearable cock?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:50, Reply)

's an has
( Kroney, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:56, Reply)

B3th, they've made The Shard. They've made The Girkin. Watches have Bluetooth and Mobile Phones have put the Digital Camera industry into disarray.....
.... Fax Machines have gone the way of the dinosours.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:52, Reply)

had a stupid bint on the phone this afternoon complaining that when she rang the fax number we'd given her, all she could hear was beeping noises.

After a lot of tedious back-and-forth questioning, it transpired that she didn't actually have the document she needed to fax us; she didn't have a fax machine anyway; and she was a dozy fucking mare.

I begin to understand why Kroney is so ready to murder am one
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:57, Reply)

Oh...
YOU!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 17:07, Reply)

What am I li-ike eh?!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 17:10, Reply)

A benny tied to a tree.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 17:14, Reply)

Poor old Bill Clay.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:49, Reply)

Going 'round to our FABULOUS gay friends' for dinner.
I will have to get drunk to cope.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:50, Reply)

shit in his cunt

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:51, Reply)

Thing is
They like that. You know what they're like AND I BET YOU DO.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:53, Reply)

I love it although I am not tip top at the moment and must poiltely decline.
Imma haemophiliac.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:55, Reply)

philiac sexule, howay man pet
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:58, Reply)

Few films and a few beers with some friends
Might go to the gym tomorrow, depends what time I wake up, then I'm off to a mates house in the evening for a rather heavy drinking session.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:50, Reply)

I will be availing myself of supermarket lager this weekend.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:52, Reply)

That's me done.
Have a canny weekend like woman man pet
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:55, Reply)

Pub with og
and at some point a sudden injection of australian money in my dirty little hands.
( Kroney, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:58, Reply)

congratulations on your good fortune

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 16:59, Reply)

Thanks
I know I've been banging on a bit, but I'm excited. I'll give it a rest soon, I'm sure.
( Kroney, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 17:01, Reply)

dude I'd be pissing my pants if i was due £100
Enjoy it!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 17:03, Reply)

I might walk around with my underwear stuffed full of twenties for a couple of days.

( Kroney, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 17:08, Reply)

You'd be right to do so.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 17:09, Reply)

Curry. Beer. Joint. Unconsciousness. Done.
Been out the last three nights and I'm knackered.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 17:43, Reply)

I really, really fancy a good old smoke this evening :o(

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 17:56, Reply)

Tonight, Monty, I shall be mainly avoiding chemical toilets.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 17:54, Reply)

As you do every night, right?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 17:56, Reply)

For the last three years, yes.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 9 Aug 2013, 17:57, Reply)

199/8
Fucking useless bunch of rabbits.

edit: That Dyson Airblade is the messiest urinal I've ever used.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 17:57, Reply)

ho ho!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 18:20, Reply)

Alright. Not this time.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 18:20, Reply)

Finish the train journey currently being undertaken.
KFC.
Big shite.
Bed.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 18:05, Reply)

I might go out for a drink.
I might not.

That's how I roll.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 18:19, Reply)

Keeping it ambiguous. Nice.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 18:20, Reply)

Keeping your options open, eh Jeff?
I'm staying in making Jewish chicken soup for SJ coz he's been poorly innit. How ya hangin' dude?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 18:25, Reply)

Hello!
It'll be a quiet weekend down here this week, and a busy one next week.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 18:33, Reply)

238 for 9.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 18:32, Reply)

I'm going to draw a picture of a girl in a hot air balloon stroking a giraffe then email it to her I guess

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 18:33, Reply)

Staying in. Cooking Szechuan squid.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Aug 2013, 18:33, Reply)