Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Easiest pub quiz ever.First prize us, 46/60. Beer vouchers were earned. Have you any small victories that make life worth living? Maybe a random bj?
Alt, sandwich ideas, doing buffet at the weekend?
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:52, 187 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Alt: Dog egg mayonnaise(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:56,
Reply)
Rare roast beef on onion bread
Smoked salmon with lemon butter on brown bread
Chicken liver pâté with cucumber on Melba toast
Hummus & black olives on granary
Brie & bacon on white crusty bread
Lamb tikka on mini naan breads
Now fuck off
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:56,
Reply)
There's quite a few vegans there I forgot to add.Edit YOU fuck off.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:58, Reply)
Or they could eat the hummus one you suggestedAnd then fuck off
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:02,
Reply)
Well they can get fucked. How about THAT for a sandwich?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:58,
Reply)
Why is it that restaurants never do proper melba toast anymore? (
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:04,
Reply)
no.....no it's not(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:10,
Reply)
No that's B3th's husband in bed(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:10,
Reply)
They're for the grown ups, now run along and play outside.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:06,
Reply)
Alt: YM being the filling in a Chomy and Gonz sandwich(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:56,
Reply)
Alt: salt beef/pastrami, gherkins, mustard(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:57,
Reply)
I'm tempted to make this www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/recipes/9487795/Salt-beef-recipe.html
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:26, Reply)
Here's one.Which soccerball team in the English league doesn't contain any of the letters of mackerel?
(
edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:58,
Reply)
Which football team doesn't contain any of the letters in Hadduck?(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:02,
Reply)
Something's got an M and an E in it.But Town is correct.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:07,
Reply)
They had one on the deadline day live page at the beebWhich 4 league teams contain none of the letters in WINDOW?
I got it and sent in my answer but they never published it :(
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 11:12,
Reply)
Hint: 3 of the 4 are in the Premier League(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 11:12,
Reply)
everyone loves egg mayo sandwichesi get cross when we have meetings here, as every cunt dives on the veggie sandwiches, and then those of us who are veggie are left facing rows of horrible meaty and fishy sandwiches. urgh.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:07,
Reply)
Egg Mayo is shit and rank(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 11:13,
Reply)
depends on the type of people coming to the buffetare they likely to want classics or fancy stuff? our meeting sandwiches here generally get a much better reception when we get things like cracked black pepper egg mayo or roast chicken salad or cheese and onion mix than when they go all off piste.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:00,
Reply)
i say classic with a twisteg egg mayo but with a touch of mustard or curry or something.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:04,
Reply)
Spamwiches.Corned beef and onion.
Peanut butter, bacon and banana.
Cream cheese, chives and smoked mackeral.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:01, Reply)
i fucking love crunchy peanut butteryou can stick the bacon on your bike seat and thus up your arse, however.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:01,
Reply)
i think i finally nailed why cyclists make me so crosswhen we got stuck behind one in cornwall. he was cheerily pedalling along, either not knowing or not caring that he had a massive string of cars all stuck behind him at about 10mph. it was so annoying. and he provoked some dangerous overtaking as people got sick of it.
sadly we failed to run over his head :(
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:06,
Reply)
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2069818
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:03,
Reply)
Don't do sandwiches, they're a pain in the arse and go dry to quickly.Spring rolls and shit.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:02, Reply)
Yesh maybe.I'll spray the sandwiches on a regular basis to prevent dryness.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:08, Reply)
Make sure you cut them into triangles and sprinkle the platter liberally with cress.Crisps make an ideal garnish around the edge too.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:09,
Reply)
Fuck yeah', kiev in a roll, coming to save the mother fucking day-yeeaaahh.Fuck yeah', Kiev in a roll, now suck on my balls.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:07,
Reply)
isn't a kiev covered in breadcrumbs?why would you put breadcrumbs inside bread? am i missing something?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:12,
Reply)
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2068102
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:14,
Reply)
Breadcrumbed stuff inside bread is awesome.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:23,
Reply)
A few years ago, I made the mistake of having a chicken kiev with garlic butter in a sandwichBit into it when it was hot from the oven, all of the incredibly hot butter covered my tongue, it was incredibly fucking painful.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:13,
Reply)
Deep fried cat sick, strawberry jam & bisto granules. (C) Gonz.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:07,
Reply)
Well, I KNOW you're a fat ginger munter. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:11,
Reply)
i think he wants gonz to gently parboil his spudsand then roast them in man fat
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:12,
Reply)
Finding your posts with my name, I feel like an african blood dimond miner who has found a fifty million carate dimond and hid it under my tounge.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:23,
Reply)
Just get crisps, everyone likes crisps.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:07,
Reply)
i bought some goats cheese and chilli jam flavour ones for the murray finalnow that's high end crisping
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:11,
Reply)
I see you and raise you Walkers Deep Ridged. Steak flavour.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:12,
Reply)
no no nowhat you have there are solid MAN crisps. the kind of crisps you'd take hiking. they are dirty, chunky, working class crisps.
not mincing lisping goats cheese ones.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:13,
Reply)
Sometimes I worry about you.Next you'll be saying that Yorkie isn't high end chocolate, and Warburtons Toastie isn't high end bread.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:15,
Reply)
Due to being the terrible povvo I am, Warburtons is the bread I buy.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:16,
Reply)
Do you have to ride a bike up a cobbled street to get it?(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:21,
Reply)
I actually live round the corner from the old Hovis millStill prefer Warburtons, though.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:21,
Reply)
Unlike those Hovis pricks, I expect you see Jonathan out and about, and tip your flat cap to him whilst walking the whippet.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:23,
Reply)
i'd be rightyorkie is for shoving in your mouth in a traffic jam-induced rage.
fortnums white chocolate and lemon and milk chocolate dipped marshmallow delicacies are for high end chocolat-ing.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:20,
Reply)
The wife bought this last week; maybe you should try it for some inspiration? metro.co.uk/2013/08/28/italian-cookbook-cicchetti-is-finger-food-worth-thumbing-through-3939107/
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:09,
Reply)
Not by me she don't :((
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:22,
Reply)
Ah double HWhen women get to a certain age they forget the simple pleasure of being fingered in a night club... You now have to go the whole hog and fist her elbow deep and call her kermit
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:24, Reply)
well played(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:34,
Reply)
Not done a pub quiz in far too longShould be starting again this month, got 2 new team mates.
Alt: Smoked salmon & cream cheese (had one of them on saturday, fantastic)
Beef and onion
Pork and apple
Ham, cheese and pickle
YM
Tuna and salad cream
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:11,
Reply)
No, the second to last one is more slimmingIt requires a dig.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:15,
Reply)
Tim Westwood has made a new order.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:12,
Reply)
He's such a bellend.Do you reckon he still spoke like he was retarded to his Dad?
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:15,
Reply)
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2069908
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:28,
Reply)
Yes, he boldly resists anyone who says he's not one.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:29,
Reply)
The spell check autocorrected to defiantly because you were spelling it incorrectly.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:32,
Reply)
are you wearing your Birkinstocks again today?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:33,
Reply)
That's why I didn't say "It was spellcheck" I told you a secondary reason you prick.(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:39, Reply)
I hate how being on the phone means your ability to spell is diminished.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:48,
Reply)
It doesn't have an 'a' in itwww.b3ta.com/search/answers/48141?q=definatly
Or were you on the phone on all of these occasions as well?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:45,
Reply)
whoah getting a bit defiant here (
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:33,
Reply)
this is funny cos it works on two l;evels!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:32,
Reply)
old boring pun is old and boringalright Bozo?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:35,
Reply)
aye nae bad likeWaiting for a fat cheque for those shares I sold innit.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:39, Reply)
You could do fray bentos in a sandwich and then tell them all about this Lolarious place in Uruguay that shares its name
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:39,
Reply)
This is rapidly approaching OIL CHAT which I am ashamed to say I participated in. First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out—
because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—
because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—
because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for the OIL—
and there was no one left to speak OIL CHAT.”
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:39, Reply)
Bollocks are you not a Jew you epic Yidski(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:41,
Reply)
Normski's brother?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:42,
Reply)
I heard that when he's in the shower, he whistles that havalageela song, and he knew all the lyrics.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:43,
Reply)
I heard that he knows about covering the bagel hole with some emmingtile(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:44,
Reply)
I heard that he has a strikeing collection of kupples taken from a veratiy of weddings and batmizahs.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:44,
Reply)
I heard that he tutted at someone in the queue at Brick Lane Bagel when someone ordered a bacon one.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:45,
Reply)
Unless you're an advertising exec.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:50,
Reply)
I bet he's got a copy of the Torah shoved so far up his cockend he could shit out Benjamin Netanyahu(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:44,
Reply)
That's the level of reactionary Catholic bigotry I would expect from you. (, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:47, Reply)
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:53,
Reply)
They just can't help themsleves can they?If they're not building houses on other people land they're secretly running the global economy
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 11:00,
Reply)
According to the more seedier parts of the webs I follow, Russia just picked up to balastics on radar fired from the med.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:42,
Reply)
well I'm glad their radar program is coming along(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:44,
Reply)
According to the more seedier parts of the webs *I* follow, chinny reckon(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:44,
Reply)
I R 1337 H4CKTORVIST !!!!!! We Are Legion, we do not forgive, we do not forget. Expect us....etc etc(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:46,
Reply)
New project manager started.He talks a lot about project managment, what a suprise.
(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:46, Reply)
He thinks that there should be only a single point of contact with our customers.(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 10:48, Reply)
I think that point of contact should be you(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 11:01,
Reply)
It is at the moment as the commisioners call me direct. The higher paid don't like that.(, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 11:02, Reply)
Are you Batman?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 11:03,
Reply)
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