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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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how do you get a girl to notice you?
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:24, 219 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:24, 219 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
I'm not sure I can help I was already married by the time I joined facebook
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:39, Reply)
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:39, Reply)
I think next you send messages like
'sup girl?' and 'hey beautiful' then they're your girlfriend.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:41, Reply)
'sup girl?' and 'hey beautiful' then they're your girlfriend.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:41, Reply)
Remember to change your relationship status
Doctor Frog *is in a relationship with* The Doveston
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:43, Reply)
Doctor Frog *is in a relationship with* The Doveston
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:43, Reply)
Show them your patience and intrigue
or whatever it is you call your testicles
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:27, Reply)
or whatever it is you call your testicles
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:27, Reply)
None of my ships crashed into stuff.
The beard's the same though.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:23, Reply)
The beard's the same though.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:23, Reply)
This is at least as believable as the time that Ringofyre claimed to be 42.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:36, Reply)
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:36, Reply)
To be honest, the trick to get them not to notice you at all, so they don't have a clue you exist..... that way they can't pick you in a line-up
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:33, Reply)
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:33, Reply)
The fun lies in not having what you've just done to that poor girl
done back to you by a 20 stone tattooed house-breaker in Send Marsh nick.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:36, Reply)
done back to you by a 20 stone tattooed house-breaker in Send Marsh nick.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:36, Reply)
that hardly gives it real competition
the thing looks like one of those rectangular tuna cans
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:56, Reply)
the thing looks like one of those rectangular tuna cans
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:56, Reply)
when i was 17, he bought me a beetle
and when i was 18, it died, so he bought me a fiesta.
after that, i had a company car, then i bought my own by adding it to the mortgage on the flat i bought at 18. i gave that to my dad when my mum died, and kept hers for a bit, then part-ex'd that for the one i have now, which is a ridiculous extravagance, but i love it.
is that enough detail?
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:00, Reply)
and when i was 18, it died, so he bought me a fiesta.
after that, i had a company car, then i bought my own by adding it to the mortgage on the flat i bought at 18. i gave that to my dad when my mum died, and kept hers for a bit, then part-ex'd that for the one i have now, which is a ridiculous extravagance, but i love it.
is that enough detail?
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:00, Reply)
haahaha
dances round Kroney
"SHIT CAR SHIT FACE"
"SHIT CAR SHIT FACE"
"SHIT CAR SHIT FACE"
"SHIT CAR SHIT FACE"
"SHIT CAR SHIT FACE"
"SHIT CAR SHIT FACE"
"SHIT CAR SHIT FACE"
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:59, Reply)
dances round Kroney
"SHIT CAR SHIT FACE"
"SHIT CAR SHIT FACE"
"SHIT CAR SHIT FACE"
"SHIT CAR SHIT FACE"
"SHIT CAR SHIT FACE"
"SHIT CAR SHIT FACE"
"SHIT CAR SHIT FACE"
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:59, Reply)
a mate of mine once told me that the best way to speak to a girl in a club
is to start with an insult, a neg or something. he'd read this book about picking up girls and it said it will lower their self esteem and make them more open to your advances.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:39, Reply)
is to start with an insult, a neg or something. he'd read this book about picking up girls and it said it will lower their self esteem and make them more open to your advances.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:39, Reply)
"alright you fat cow? fancy a drink between shovelling your face full of pringles?"
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:40, Reply)
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:40, Reply)
negging is totally in now
3 sec rule them and then follow up with a quick neg and she'll be all yours
don't buy her any drinks either
also never apologise
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:41, Reply)
3 sec rule them and then follow up with a quick neg and she'll be all yours
don't buy her any drinks either
also never apologise
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:41, Reply)
good negs are
"those glasses make you look like you've got really small eyes"
"are you using coloured contacts? Oh my god you are!"
"it's very brave to wear that"
"you disgust me on every level you barely sentient human shit"
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:44, Reply)
"those glasses make you look like you've got really small eyes"
"are you using coloured contacts? Oh my god you are!"
"it's very brave to wear that"
"you disgust me on every level you barely sentient human shit"
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:44, Reply)
I think it's just you say something to ladies that could be construed as a criticism and apparently that's meant to make them want to impress you?
I dunno man it's sociopathic shit. Dunno if it's short for anything like 'negatory little buddy'
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:46, Reply)
I dunno man it's sociopathic shit. Dunno if it's short for anything like 'negatory little buddy'
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:46, Reply)
I like the one where you say "You're so fat, I bet you sat next to everybody in class".
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:49, Reply)
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:49, Reply)
try this
www.amazon.co.uk/Commit-Successful-Suicide-Thomas-James/dp/0557588421/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1379512260&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+kill+yourself
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:51, Reply)
www.amazon.co.uk/Commit-Successful-Suicide-Thomas-James/dp/0557588421/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1379512260&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+kill+yourself
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:51, Reply)
How can they expect to get anything but bad reviews and negative stars?
If it was any good, they wouldn't be posting a review.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:52, Reply)
If it was any good, they wouldn't be posting a review.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:52, Reply)
I wasn't expecting there to be any reviews
It turns out the book is out to trick people into not killing themselves, which disappointed a lot of the people who bought it and didn't end up 'buying it'
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:55, Reply)
It turns out the book is out to trick people into not killing themselves, which disappointed a lot of the people who bought it and didn't end up 'buying it'
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:55, Reply)
i just had to get my eyes tested etc for new specs
they took photos of the insides of my eyes and all sorts.
the optician was unbelievably hot. i noticed him alright. are you a hot optician?
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:49, Reply)
they took photos of the insides of my eyes and all sorts.
the optician was unbelievably hot. i noticed him alright. are you a hot optician?
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:49, Reply)
THREE TIMES IN EACH EYE, TO TAKE AN AVERAGE, HE SAID
ended up being about 15 per eye, as i kept blinking. you know it's coming, you blink.
also they put dye in them. i REALLY hate that.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:52, Reply)
ended up being about 15 per eye, as i kept blinking. you know it's coming, you blink.
also they put dye in them. i REALLY hate that.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:52, Reply)
Three times in each eye, said Chompy
and suddenly Swipe's stumbling around bouncing off pavements and convinced that Lord Lucan's ringing her from class 5B
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:53, Reply)
and suddenly Swipe's stumbling around bouncing off pavements and convinced that Lord Lucan's ringing her from class 5B
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:53, Reply)
No, it seems like a pretty clear cut case of audible delusions brought on by the concussive force
of taking a pasty 30 year old internet virgin's load straight to the face.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:57, Reply)
of taking a pasty 30 year old internet virgin's load straight to the face.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:57, Reply)
That's out of order, talking about a man's performance like that.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:58, Reply)
You should be ashamed of yourself.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:58, Reply)
hahaha
you so know the women in your office have discussed MUCH more in terms of detail and depth...
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:00, Reply)
you so know the women in your office have discussed MUCH more in terms of detail and depth...
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:00, Reply)
Yeah, I get comments every now and again.
Not leaked by the current, I should say. Previouses have been less than discrete.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:06, Reply)
Not leaked by the current, I should say. Previouses have been less than discrete.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:06, Reply)
The reception staff get drunk and leery at office parties.
It's intensely embarrassing.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:08, Reply)
It's intensely embarrassing.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:08, Reply)
what, like mechanics when they're appraising your motor?
ooh, that retinas seen better days
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:54, Reply)
ooh, that retinas seen better days
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:54, Reply)
basically yer
except that my retinas are perfect, apparently. at least something is.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:55, Reply)
except that my retinas are perfect, apparently. at least something is.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:55, Reply)
THey shine a strobe into your eyeballs to see if your timing belt's on the wonk
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:55, Reply)
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:55, Reply)
oh
erm..... ok, unzip and walk around with it hanging out all afternoon. that'll get you noticed for sure.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:53, Reply)
erm..... ok, unzip and walk around with it hanging out all afternoon. that'll get you noticed for sure.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:53, Reply)
with the help of my new glasses (gucci, btw, i loved the jimmy choos but they did NOT suit me)
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:01, Reply)
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:01, Reply)
hey, we're not all that shallow
just so long as you have a nice big house, preferably mortgage free, a decent car, nothing tacky, and a holiday home, it's fine.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:54, Reply)
just so long as you have a nice big house, preferably mortgage free, a decent car, nothing tacky, and a holiday home, it's fine.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:54, Reply)
you speaking for womankind
is like jimmy savile speaking for hospital porters
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:56, Reply)
is like jimmy savile speaking for hospital porters
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:56, Reply)
famous for being deaf and racist
and apparently stupid. but that doesn't narrow it down on here.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:09, Reply)
and apparently stupid. but that doesn't narrow it down on here.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:09, Reply)
First Broadsword now this
WILL EVERYONE STOP FUCKING SAMMI FOR FIVE MINUTES, PLEASE
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:38, Reply)
WILL EVERYONE STOP FUCKING SAMMI FOR FIVE MINUTES, PLEASE
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:38, Reply)
I think I've sidestepped being the person who posted this by posting a link to someone else posting a picture
Who do you want to see?
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:14, Reply)
Who do you want to see?
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:14, Reply)
Stunned, I've never seena pic of him aside from this
images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130618142842/non-aliencreatures/images/3/3e/HarryBigfoot.jpg
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:16, Reply)
images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130618142842/non-aliencreatures/images/3/3e/HarryBigfoot.jpg
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:16, Reply)
He's not entirely dissimilar to the guy pictured in this article
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/clinging-to-youth-does-not-slow-ageing-process-2013091879562
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:18, Reply)
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/clinging-to-youth-does-not-slow-ageing-process-2013091879562
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:18, Reply)
i always imagine him with quite long slicked back wavy hair
dunno why
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:19, Reply)
dunno why
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:19, Reply)
He's a hulking behemoth of a man with a side parting, specs and a crystallised left foot.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:23, Reply)
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:23, Reply)
I have now seen two.
Sometimes it's better not to know things, right?
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:14, Reply)
Sometimes it's better not to know things, right?
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:14, Reply)
have a poke around on the B3ta flicker page for some balloon hat based lols
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:17, Reply)
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:17, Reply)
it's well lol
seriously, the amount of bad facial hair, comedy tshirts and sweaty staring eyes is hilarious
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:18, Reply)
seriously, the amount of bad facial hair, comedy tshirts and sweaty staring eyes is hilarious
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:18, Reply)
someone do a new thread
or I'll do one about the tie I bought at lunchtime
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:33, Reply)
or I'll do one about the tie I bought at lunchtime
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:33, Reply)
Scruffy Warhammer girls are the worst.
They smell even more unpleasant than the men.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:39, Reply)
They smell even more unpleasant than the men.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:39, Reply)
Sammi looks like she fucking stinks
I bet she wipes back to front and smears shit into her vadge
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:41, Reply)
I bet she wipes back to front and smears shit into her vadge
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:41, Reply)
If you can smell BO on anybody, you can be sure they don't wash anywhere else, either.
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:45, Reply)
( , Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:45, Reply)
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