Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
Oi SwipeNot all is lost for you:
www.dateginger.co.uk/index.html
You should sign up.
What websites would you recommend for other B3tans?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:24,
209 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
I reckon a fair few people on here would take advantage of a dating website caleldwww.midget-gems.co.uk
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Theoban What of it, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:29,
Reply)
"This website is not available"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:34,
Reply)
midgets freak me out or dwarfs do, probably both of them tbh(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:36,
Reply)
I'm not interested in those diddy mutants, I just want to find some more of my own kind, rather than the 6'+ claim for 90% of the freaks on here,Innit.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:38,
Reply)
The height of the average rural Dutchman in 1856,Obv.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:41,
Reply)
You'd know nothing about being light.You fat munter.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:58,
Reply)
EVEN DOZER SAID I WAS PRETTYAND CHICKS DIG HIM
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:04,
Reply)
YES!!!i296.photobucket.com/albums/mm177/rachelswipe/hair_zpsd136f011.jpg
LOOK! it is clearly in no way dyed purple and it is clearly ME.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:09,
Reply)
As if that was actually you!Your friend in that photo was 'alright'.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:11,
Reply)
the friend i cropped off the photo... was a boyyou'd like that, wouldn't you?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:12,
Reply)
Well I have had so many bitches it wouldn't hurt to mix things up a bit.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:14,
Reply)
You've got a big red fluffy beard in that pic though(
Theoban What of it, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:19,
Reply)
nahi just combed my arse upwards that day
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:22,
Reply)
YOUR ARSE IS ROUND THE FRONT?WHAT KIND OF BEAST BE YE?
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Theoban What of it, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:28,
Reply)
I'll say this again, if you are under 6' you have failed(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:03,
Reply)
Being tall isn't an achievement you lanky fuckwit.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:08,
Reply)
people are getting taller as we progress through historytherefore I have evolved to a greater degree than you
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:16,
Reply)
Well why aren't there giants anymore then?(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:19,
Reply)
No I have done extensive researchand the only way to prove you are genetically more advanced than normal humans is by the amount of body hair you have. Otherwise you are just a tall monkey
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)
but....... aren't monkeys covered in hair?(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:18,
Reply)
ExactlySo the less body hair you have the more advanced you are...
*counts the 7 greying chest hairs with pride
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)
As in so many areas of my physique, I have failed by just half an inch
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:09, Reply)
I can get behind this statement.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:19,
Reply)
midgetsex.comdwarfporn.com
mexicandwarfwrestling.com
gnomefisting.org
etc.com
for you
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:30,
Reply)
www.dignitas.ch/
www.b3ta.com/features/faq/#close
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:33,
Reply)
just ate a snickers celebration i found on the desk(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:41,
Reply)
How disappointing it wasn't the Malteaser one.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:49,
Reply)
there is a strict pecking order for consumption of celebrationstwix
malteaser
galaxy caramel
galaxy
snickers
mars
bounty
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:52,
Reply)
Incorrect as usualtwix
bounty
malteaser
snickers
mars
galaxy caramel
galaxy
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:53,
Reply)
oh apewhen will you learn?
NOBODY likes bounties. evil coconut little fuckers. they are practically FRUIT.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:54,
Reply)
bounty's are excellentYou KNOW you have no say when it comes to food because you are vegetarian and have had chomps willy in your mouth
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:56,
Reply)
ah rory and his memesRIP our fallen nigga
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:05,
Reply)
I LIKE BOUNTYS SO MUCH I CHEERED WHEN THEY RELEASED THE TRIPLE ONE(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:10,
Reply)
Galaxy caramel is shit, but you put it third.And *I'm* the weird one?
Women.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:17,
Reply)
how can it be shit? caramel = good. chocolate = goodchocolate with caramel inside = GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:19,
Reply)
The caramel is shit caramel. That's how.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:20,
Reply)
what???since when was there a caramel scale?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:24,
Reply)
no it's not, it's horrible and barely even counts as chocolate(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:14,
Reply)
just ate some revels i found in my pants(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:49,
Reply)
Jew doughnuts make for messy sandwiches(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:10,
Reply)
I make sure I cut all the fillings so they leave the hole intact(
Theoban What of it, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:20,
Reply)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHmetro.co.uk/2013/09/23/ios-7-doesnt-make-your-phone-waterproof-but-that-doesnt-stop-people-from-trying-4088922/
Apple twats
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Peej, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:42,
Reply)
imma all about helping my fellow baytansMince
www.appliancepartspros.com/hoover-snout-cap-93001795-ap4557564.html
Swiper
answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120515153632AAaiLWs
HH
cheater-dating-guide.com/how-to-cheat/
Tangers
www.ultimate-guitar.com/columns/general_music/10_reasons_why_your_band_will_never_make_it.html
Chompy
www.pizzahut.co.uk/vouchers
AA
www.experienceproject.com/question-answer/Why-Am-I-So-Popular-And-Well-Liked-:P/2367886
Kroney Joe
www.wikihow.com/Get-Rid-of-Bad-Breath-from-Onion-or-Garlic
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:53,
Reply)
this deserved more credit than it gotexcept mine :(
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:05,
Reply)
This Girl Knows That's Where Off Topic Sucks?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:20,
Reply)
Drimble's recent Top Tip made me do a little LOL. Qotw is pretty crap these days.(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 11:55, Reply)
This.It's become swamped by the sockpuppet vs. pretty well everyone else argument, every single time. Same arguments, same insults, same results.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:10,
Reply)
it used to be really funnybut people's ideas of what other people should be allowed to put on their internet have pissed on it
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:13,
Reply)
That and people carrying on arguments waaaay after they should have finished(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)
Agreed.I posted an objection to the constant "Start a thread with an insult and no other content" habit and before I knew it Ringo had gazzed me to cite other examples. It was never meant to be like this.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:20,
Reply)
i remember when i scooted my chair over to my boss' desk and accidentally scooted myself off the chairi fell at his feet, flashing him in the process. luckily he was such a raving autist that he didn't even notice. anyway, i posted the story on qotw, thought no more of it.
when i went back onto b3ta, i had about 27 gazzes. 20 of them asking what colour pants i was wearing. now i just get accused of being fat and ginger and barren. how times change.
on the plus side, i did make it into the newsletter that week.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:21,
Reply)
So what colour were they?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:27,
Reply)
christ i can't rememberhe was lucky i was wearing any
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:28,
Reply)
What did the other seven gazzes say?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:30,
Reply)
i bet you've just had a million sadsacks asking what colour your pants are(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:32,
Reply)
Ha trying a different angle to find out(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:34,
Reply)
Ah you know all this rudeness is just schoolground flirting, they're all just pulling your hair cos they want your attentionBut not me mind, I find you repulsive with your big ginger lion's mane
LOVE YOU
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Theoban What of it, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:32,
Reply)
god imagine our kidswith my big ginger mane and your giant jewfro...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:33,
Reply)
I'd bike her mice into mars any day if you know what I mean(
Theoban What of it, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:37,
Reply)
I think she's too busyscooting herself off her chair.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:40,
Reply)
she's probably frigging at her fanny now like a plumber unblocking a bog(
Theoban What of it, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:47,
Reply)
so whos the oldest poster here thenas in whos been here the longest
i had a look here:
www.b3ta.com/board/archive/1/
but none of you lot are there unless your a sock of one of these cunts
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:16,
Reply)
im working my way through, ill get to the bottom of this(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:22,
Reply)
Are you planning on reading the entire site?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:28,
Reply)
ill keep you cunts updated with the highlights**if i make it beyond half an hour of this shit ill be fucken amazed
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:30,
Reply)
If you go into a blank word document and type QN33 NY - highlight it, change to font to 26 and the type to wingdings - see what you get.QN33 NY was one of the planes that crashed into the WTC.
(via melissa frost.)
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:21,
Reply)
It's too easy to say it's a coincidence.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:27,
Reply)
Yeah, I was expecting something like someone found my number on a scrap of paper or something,That't the sort of route I was expecting you to go down. But a mis-dial? UNBELIEVEABLE
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:37,
Reply)
a misdial to a number, of all the phones in the WORLD, to the ONE that belonged to the daughter of a RECENTLY DECEASED TEACHER at THAT VERY SCHOOLopen your mind, sheep.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:40,
Reply)
this doesn't make sense in any language1/10, must try harder
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:43,
Reply)
But?!?!So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is "wut r u doing wit my daughter?" U tell ur girl n she say "my dad is ded". THEN WHO WAS PHONE?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:45,
Reply)
I know... its almost like someone is lyingabout the plane registration to make it fit in with a wing dings font...
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:33, Reply)
This is SO weird!!!!THIS IS REALLY FREAKY!
1) New York City has 11 letters
2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.
3) Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened to destroy
the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.
4) George W Bush has 11 letters.
This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets more interesting:
1) New York is the 11th state.
2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number 11.
3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11
4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers, was carrying 65 passengers. 6+5=11
5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9+1+1=11
6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911. 9+1+1=11.
Sheer coincidence..?!
Read on and make up your own mind:
1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254. 2+5+4=11.
2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year. Again 2+5+4=11.
3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3+1+1+2+4 =11.
4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident.
Now this is where things get totally eerie:
The most recognised symbol for the US, after the Stars & Stripes, is the Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Quran, the Islamic holy book:
''For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allahand lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace."
That verse is number 9.11 of the Quran.
Still unconvinced about all of this..?!
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:37,
Reply)
I don't believe in any conspiracy theories related to the attack on the twin towers.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:41,
Reply)
Yeah well you WOULD say thatWhat are you trying to cover up here? The TRUTH will always get out
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Theoban What of it, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:43,
Reply)
yeah!Tell us about the moon landings being faked, you credulous twit!
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:42, Reply)
Coincidentally, 11 is also the number of times I would like to bang your head and the head of anyone else posting this kind of drivel against a brick wall to prevent repetition of same.(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:41, Reply)
See below for PROOF of a CONSPIRACY(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:52,
Reply)
Dem /links niggas know their oatsThese are the words THE MAN is trying to keep off the streets:
www.b3ta.com/links/1065647#post1065670
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:51,
Reply)
Well this is nonsense.Clearly the twin towers were demolished by Obama so he could be the president and he's a Muslim and, like, born in Kenya or summink?. #creepingsharia
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:43,
Reply)
Yeah, my mrs does this before every holiday we go on.In many ways you'd probably have a better time without her anyway.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:38,
Reply)
Passport office say a week for a replacement. And they can see her on Thursday. We go Saturday lunch.
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:46, Reply)
That's fine, you can get a new wife in the next countryUsually for much cheaper
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Theoban What of it, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:38,
Reply)
you don't fly for another week or soget another mrs
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:39,
Reply)
Theoretically you don't need a passport to travel abroad.I think, but maybe you do.
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:47, Reply)
Let me know if you do.I'll be sure to catch a different plane.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:04,
Reply)
See, this is why you should lock them in a safe place so that you always know where they are.The Mrs, that is.
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:44, Reply)
Don't fly on any planes called QN33NY.(
edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:44,
Reply)
I can find mine, mate.Just sayin
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:22,
Reply)
the beginnings of robs fiddling ways with half nekkid kids in playgroundswww.b3ta.com/board/808
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:51,
Reply)
hmmmmmmwho else do we know on here who slept with a 15 year old boy, eh?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:58,
Reply)
no, it was notit was a popular poster, a cheeky little scamp, who also slept with his own mother...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:59,
Reply)
not that im boasting but...I update and make content for 3 of my companies different websites and this week i have been making a promostional cd for marketing and doing some work on a government website..
So all in all i dont have much spare time
Usually myself and one of my buddies at work go for fag breaks (neither of us smoke) cos we were told of for talking to much and wasting time... and they cant stop us from having a fag.. say 6 times a day for 15 mins a pop !!
(I helped save b3ta! hal9000 sme, Thu 4 Oct 2001, 7:31, archived)
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 12:53,
Reply)
Just out of interest...do any of you lot own a record called "Eat your own ears" by Wevie Stonder, on Skam, I think it's about the closest you can get to this message board in musical form.
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:02,
Reply)
No, but once I got 'Eye of the tiger' on vinyl, free, stuck to the side of a packet of Frosties.Hope this helps.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:04,
Reply)
I once got a cd from a garage that was closing down.It was by S'no Petrol.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:08,
Reply)
I used to work in a record shop. One Christmas this really hot woman came into the shop and sauntered over to me and asked if I had Jingle Bells on a twelve inch.
"No", I said. "But I have got dangle balls on a ten inch".
"Is that a redord?" she said.
"No", I said. "But I am only 15".
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:13, Reply)
is this Al The Deleter or a different Al?www.b3ta.com/talk/53643
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:22,
Reply)
I don't know, but he is one wakkki and kerrrazy guy!!!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:24,
Reply)
I doubt that.So you're off to America on your tod, I guess? Yank girls do like British accents, though I'm not sure where they stand on crystalised club feet.
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Kroney, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:30,
Reply)
I think somebody else on here has a four digit number.TMB, maybe.
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Kroney, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:35,
Reply)
57534Six years and four months...although I think I stopped posting for a couple of years
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:37,
Reply)
4602Although I registered in about 01 and immediately didn't log in for about 6 years.
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Kroney, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:39,
Reply)
Hahahaha. The Mrs has gone home to have a proper look for her passport.
(, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:33, Reply)
My Doris is in charge of passports and all travel adminI just waft about the airport trying on sunglasses and drinking
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:34,
Reply)
I keep all my important documents in The Pile.If I still have it, it's in The Pile. I've lost things before from well-meaning people trying to organise The Pile, so I've made sure the flatmate and the girlfriend know that touching it is strictly verboten.
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Kroney, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:38,
Reply)
For me it's the top draw, it's a mess but it's probably in there**or somewhere else
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:41,
Reply)
I have a similar systemThe important documents go into The Important Box, but I maintain a Pile for those important documents that I intend on putting in The Important Box when I get around to it.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 24 Sep 2013, 13:41,
Reply)
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