Absolute power.
Looks like the Government parties are really pulling out the stops before the next election freezing petrol, fuel prices, giving tax relief to couples.

What laws would you implement and why. realistic or otherwise.

Alt. Favourite things.

Altalt. What you eating for dinner tonight?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:34, 81 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

No they're not, these are shit headline-grabbing ideas.
Alt: Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings

Altalt: YM
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:37, Reply)

Brown paper packages YM
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:40, Reply)

Can't trust any of em can you?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:42, Reply)

I find this sort of rhetoric lazy and apathetic.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:44, Reply)

Sums me up.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:45, Reply)

Well, this looks totally legit
b3ta.com/questions/purefury/post2107021
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 18:39, Reply)

Increase NI, decrease tax.
I'd rather my hard-earned pounds went on a few more frontline nurses than an MP's holiday home.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:40, Reply)

I'm not sure it works like that.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:41, Reply)

Don't you dare burst my bubble of naive retardedness :(((

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:47, Reply)

Even considering how it might be spent puts you in the top 2% of the country, drimbles.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:48, Reply)

I'd just kill everyone who I thought was a fucktard
which would save a fortune

Also, tax hand
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:41, Reply)

Got my vote!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:42, Reply)

But we need our floors sweeping and our Greggs staffed

( Theoban What of it, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:47, Reply)

I don't classify fucktardedness in those ways.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:47, Reply)

Well we could gather all the fucktards, regardless of social status, and make them sweep our floors and call me Sir when I'm getting a steak slice

( Theoban What of it, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:48, Reply)

AltAlt: linguine with prawns, peas and chili.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:44, Reply)

I wish they would curb the unnecessary rises in fuel and train prices
but that's privatisation for you.

Also, Labour saying they will abolish the bedroom tax just goes to show how it wasn't needed. They will tax your shit allowance if the see fit.

REVOLT!! UPRISING!!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:45, Reply)

Why do you think they're unnecessary?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:49, Reply)

it can cost upwards of £400 to travel by train these days.
If it costs that much to run then perhaps we need to look at making it cheaper.

I dont understand the rise in fuels. Possibly going up because of a diminishing supply?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:51, Reply)

I don't believe my train journey should cost nearly as much as it does, just to go to fucking work.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:53, Reply)

I'd get rid of all tax and we could live life in a Randian paradise, free from the shackles of the government or those weaker than us
Alt: Pianos
Altalt: Dunno, my flatmate's brother who's temporarily living with us is cooking.
( Theoban What of it, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:45, Reply)

Its all fucking shit. I care mostly that in real terms i've had a pay cut, everything costs more and things like childcare go up when wages are frozen.
I would implement a law that stopped twats singling out people for a crimes they committed to try and get some vigilante justice. Ie. the Bulger killers, theres probably loads of kid murderers out there that people have forgotten because they weren't 10 fucking years old when they did it. I've already forgotten the name of the guy that killed April Jones.

Alt. I quite like Blowjobs, steak and booze thanks

AltAlt, Homemade BBQ ribs most likely.
( Peej, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:47, Reply)

I'd put half the unemployeed into going about making a right mess of things so the other half will have something to do.
They can alternate each week.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:48, Reply)

Gonz for PM.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:49, Reply)

We could save a fortune by staging an earthquake in a library.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:51, Reply)

Brilliant!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:52, Reply)

I'm all for making the long term unemployed work at the job centre or doing training courses.
There are a lot of people out there plain refusing to do work and I dont think they should be rewarded.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:53, Reply)

I am pretty sure that people that refuse to work do get their benefits stopped under the current system
and the new system will just stop people looking for work.
( Peej, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:56, Reply)

In detention they used to make you scrape chewing gum from under the table.
Not that I have shares in HubbaBubba yet, but if we can get 1.4m people chewing, then I think we'd be sorted.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:56, Reply)

Oh absolutely, we should cut back on jobs in the public sector and then make all the unemployed people do their old jobs for dole money.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:58, Reply)

I'd have them sweeping up shit from the local park.
Job at Maccy Dee's won't seem so bad then.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:13, Reply)

you cant just fucken say 'There are a lot of people out there plain refusing to do work'
without either fucken:

A) a short film of you going round the country with a fucken clipboard
OR
ii) some made up internet statistics

pullyour fucken finger out chutters, 84% of people with opinions are 2.4% more likely to know what the fuck they're bangin on about if theyd got some fucken oats about em
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:58, Reply)

But what about those with the Emotional BooHoos and "Bad Backs"?
We need to put more money into ATOS so they can be a bit more inefficient at letting the sick be sick.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:05, Reply)

Make them deadlift a few kilo's and measure their reaction.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:13, Reply)

Knowing 'em lot, they'll probably moan and groan.... not 'cus of the phsyical effort but for having the audasity to make them do what the rest of the country does; work for a living.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 17:34, Reply)

Ban Chinamen, they annoy me and I saw one cough up a massive amount of lung butter and release it onto the pavement just in front of me this morning and it made me feel sick.
Alt: Chasing skirt and chatting up crumpet.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:51, Reply)

ban sachets of ketchup in fish & chip shops
implement a hoover snout tax
outlaw all newspapers in favour of the word on the street
national service for over-battering fish
replace income tax with an internet swear jar

alt: my winkie

altalt: scrambled eggs
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:52, Reply)

Every one of them is a complete and utter cunts.
Alt: dunno, probably music is my favourite thing, and my stupid new car is great.

AltAlt: I've got a pork shoulder in the slow cooker, left it overnight in mustard and salt, then just thrown it on low with some beetroot, I'll put the beetroot in with some mash and do some peas or something i reckon, and the rest of the joint will do good for tomorrow lunch and dinner and probably the next day too.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:54, Reply)

Alright winders. What car did you buy?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:55, Reply)

I heard he got this

( Theoban What of it, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 15:58, Reply)

that's what i use for business

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:01, Reply)

The weird thing is, is that you show a picture of a pig car and my only reaction is "what's that thing behind it?"

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:06, Reply)

It's piglet out pushing, it broke down AGAIN

( Theoban What of it, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:33, Reply)

Looks like a submarriine to me.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 17:33, Reply)

i got a mk1 mazda miata, japanese import 1,6.
basically, a fairly rare model in good nick for a steal, it needs a bit of work, but even as it is it's a fantastic little car.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:01, Reply)

They're good fun to drive.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:06, Reply)

yeah, this one is fantastic condition for it's age as well,
needs a couple of wheel bearings and a bit of rust work, but nothing i can't do over the weekend.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:09, Reply)

i want to make a rust/ginger comment here
let's pretend i did, and it was well lol
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:13, Reply)

I like the fact you are pretending its not an MX5
by calling it the Miata. This makes it seem like you are embarrassed by your rather camp car
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:27, Reply)

well, it's not an mx-5,
it's a eunos roadster, japanese spec. it is the same as an mx-5, but it is not an mx-5
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:55, Reply)

my really shitty day at work just turned golden as i got a really nice surprise in the post
i would answer this question too seriously, and none of you would know what i was on about, apart from maybe rory. if he could keep up.

alt: flowers, diet coke, white chocolate with lemon, voddies.

altalt: nothing. gym with personal trainer, then water.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:03, Reply)

Bot dog?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:07, Reply)

even better
FLOWERS. i fucking love getting flowers at work, best thing ever.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:11, Reply)

From Greggs Hat?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:13, Reply)

no
he managed to break 3 months of no contact by texting though, apologising for being a cunt. i just said, "thanks!"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:14, Reply)

You should have replied saying 'yes. You were'.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:16, Reply)

i kind of thought that was implicit in the "thanks", but yeah.
he's not getting absolution from me. he was a cunt!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:17, Reply)

+ paki

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:18, Reply)

i didn't mind that bit!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:21, Reply)

Im never starting another 'Politics' thread again.
Or I need to start paying attention to it all.

But where's the fun in that?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:12, Reply)

Usual election bribes for the ignorant
I'd introduce capital punishment for the wilfully ignorant, you know, those who carry on being cunts even after it's been pointed out to them that they are, in fact, being a cunt. And tailgaters.

alt: Beer, sex, chips and gravy

altalt: see alt
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:18, Reply)

All a Macc Lad wants.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:25, Reply)

that's "some crack", innit?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:27, Reply)

The presentation of ID papers on demand would be high.
It would be legal to kill cyclists jumping red lights, or riding on pavements.

Child benefits to be axed entirely.

Me to gain the title of Grand High Poobah, Glorious Monarch And Dictator, Let Us All Bow Before His Majesty.

Boris Johnson to be caged and nationalised for entertainment.

Noel Edmonds to be treated appropriately.

Jim Davidson likewise.

Rachel Riley to be given a character.

Peter Kay to be put back in his fish n' chip shop.

Pam St. Clement/Pat Butcher to be sanctified.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:26, Reply)

jumping red lights, or riding on pavements.

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:28, Reply)

I knew this would happen

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:53, Reply)

you check your fb messages, you!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:58, Reply)

*votes*

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:31, Reply)

Usual pre-election guff*
New laws? I don't think we need any except one. If your company employs any loopholes to get out of paying tax in this country, you don't get to sell your products or services in this country. If you want to sell here, pay your fucking tax.
Alt: Good food, great company, nice wine and guns.
Altalt: Very probably a pasta dish, haven't decided yet.

*Has anyone here got any 'spare' tax allowance that they could pass to a partner/spouse? No? Didn't think so. Anyhow, the whole thing's worth at most £200/year to a couple - that's less than £4/week. Yippee skip.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:29, Reply)

I was planning on getting married/blessed/whatever the fuck it is
but not for £4 a week
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:37, Reply)

You would only get it if you or your spouse/partner were earning less than about £8k
Like I said - yippee skip.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:42, Reply)

Firing squad for anyone using textspeak, leetspeak, apostrophes in the wrong place, and grammar Nazis.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:30, Reply)

your so right

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:32, Reply)

no youn r

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:33, Reply)

kl bro ttyl
LOL JK! rolfcopter
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:38, Reply)

Appease the pro and anti hunting lobbies and the corporal punishment lobby at the same time
Allow posh people on horseback to hunt convicted criminals across country, and televise it in the style of "Running Man".
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:36, Reply)

I'd station plain clothes coppers in random bushes with video cameras, looking out at rush hour traffic.
Any prick caught looking down at the phone/tablet in their lap while the car is in motion, bam - licence revoked. Waiting for my bus at the end of the day, it's about every fifth or sixth driver. If nothing else, at least it'll cut the volume of traffic.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 16:38, Reply)

-Free laptop and wifi for every kid.
They've closed loads of libraries, this is needed.
-Legalise weed, and tax it. It costs not a lot to grow in bulk, it could be sold in small amounts at the same price it is at the moment.
-Make every politician wear a clown nose.
That should do for starters.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 17:03, Reply)

id fucking ban all you knobs from the internet

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 17:35, Reply)

Free bluntz to all my gangbanging homies out there at #10

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 17:50, Reply)

^this guys still got love for the streets

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Sep 2013, 18:02, Reply)