Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Fuck's sake, /OTWhat the hell's wrong with you people?
Quick, tell me the most unexpected thing you can put your hands on without moving.
Alt: what was the last item you misplaced? I'm talking 'I know it's in the house somewhere, but buggered if I know where' kind of misplaced.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:22,
153 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
A gum sheildAlt: Pens, pens hate me the devious little bastards are forever hiding from me :(
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:24,
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This may well be true :((
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:26,
Reply)
Don' be sad love. Have a skip, and gake the piss out pf Pig and Tortoise.(, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:30, Reply)
I keep forgetting you are one of the few that knows where my user name comes fromIn the battle to stop losing pens I now own four Faber Castell pens
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:39,
Reply)
Toss up between a Crookes radiometera solar-powered grasshopper or the piezo-drive for an atomic force microscope.
Or, for some reason, a tin of Ronseal.
Alt: I've misplaced my Oyster Card. Typical when it has about 30 notes on it.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:31,
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I suppose only the Ronseal is strictly unexpectedas in, the others have valid reasons for being in my office. The Ronseal probably does as well, I just can't remember what it is.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:34,
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Outdoor VarnishClear, waterproof protection.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:37,
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Perhaps it was for varnishing something.It *is* the start of conker season...
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:38,
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nah, I lied really, I know was it was forit was for suspending luminescent dyes for some of our quantum downshifting work.
I just thought I'd fib for comic purpose. Imagine, an apparent hypocritical prick and a liar. I hope Rory can cope :(
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:43,
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He's probably wanked himself to a tumescent rage under his bridge(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:45,
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Oh I thought you were an adult now, Pops.You'd better ignore the pics in that gaz I sent you.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 14:03,
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A 1/8" brass nipple..........Alt: Yesterday I lost a box of Persil tablets (NON BIOLOGICAL), I *knew* I had bought some. Then I found it. Next to the fucking washing machine.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:32,
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Hey frog. I also have to use non bio for my sensitive skin. I think we might be brothers
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:42,
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Maybe you're the two love children of Kermit and Miss Piggy(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:43,
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Are you suggesting they're a pair of muppets?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:44,
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I dunno about Pigsy, but I *can* be a muppet at times.I'm okay with that though.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:45,
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Plastic pokéballalt: my work badge. The answer was 'in the drying machine'. That's right, drying machine. Well done to those playing at home.
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Theoban What of it, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:33,
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My girlfriend.Alt: my wife
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:34,
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To answer my own question...A Rosetta Stone Polish CD
Alt: The 2013 diary I bought last December. Still haven't found it. It'll probably surface in the middle of December this year.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:35,
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They're always on me anyway as i am KIND and GENEROUS with what little I have.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:40,
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Bully for you. I just got a cold shower halfway through.Not. Happy.
(, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:37, Reply)
Hot water was off at my place for 4 days last weekWhen the guy showed up to fix it yesterday, I don't think he was expecting the 10 pissed off people waiting for him.
Sorted it in no time, mind.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:41,
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Well done FrogglestonNow you can get that bluray set of Home Improvement you've always wanted
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Theoban What of it, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:37,
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This is a new pkllow for offtopic(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:54,
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CONGRATULATIONS (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:41,
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We should go out and celebrate. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:43,
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I'll take you to Maccy D's for a happy meal(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:44,
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Happy meals for lunch innit, then a couple of beers and kebabs later. BIG NIGHT OUT.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:47,
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You know how to party. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:48,
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Can I get nuggets? (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:45,
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It's always about the fooood with you lot(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:13,
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I like the Bountys which no one else does.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:16,
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The white chocolate ones?You complete headwrong.
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:37,
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White chocolate Bounty? GET OUT THAT AINT REAL BRUV(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:43,
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A set of Danish instructions that make perfect sense, despite my not knowing the language.Alt: Serrated bread knife, ended up massacring the bread.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:36,
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You are on fucking fire today b3th!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:45,
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Not even in my top ten Ikea shelving units(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:49,
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YM. Alt. I've got a pair of trousers that I'm sure I haven't thrown out, but God knows where they are.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:40,
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Not much out of the ordinary at my desk... A screwdriver I supposealt. Parcel tape.
O/T IS SAVED!!!
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:40,
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*facepalms* why did it take me so long to get this(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:43,
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Well really, that's a bit harsh :((
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:44,
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What, wait.....woah, I've just realised I'm working from home and have beers in the fridgeyet it's not even crossed my mind to open one
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:52,
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You silly boy. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:53,
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I think I may have one more coffee first(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:55,
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A specification for Regulatory Reporting Counterparty Nondisclosurewhich basically consists of reminding Customer Services "DON'T TELL HIM PIKE" when they get asked.
Alt: I have not much storage space in the flat so there's a limited number of places things can be. Did find a pair of jeans I'd been looking for under a pile of towels in the wardrobe instead of with the rest of the jeans, though. Not sure what my thinking was on that one.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:42,
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A Lego Yoda with a blue baseball cap on at a jaunty angle
A swiss army knife
A picture of a penguin
A broken glass parrot
A party popper
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:48,
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Popped or Un popped. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:49,
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I think, and I can't emphasis this enoughWinders has hit the nail right on the head with the question that is on all of the country's lips.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:51,
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ENQUIRING MINDS! (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:52,
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Unpopped and uncorkedThe cardboard bit and the swirly paper removed for maximum poppage
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:53,
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Is it a special popper?Saved for posterity?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:01,
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It is saved for when someone has a PC open and/or is plugging something in under a desk(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:02,
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It works surprisingly wellSee also:
Sellotape to bottom of chair leg. Tie string to desk
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:08,
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Is there a high rate of heart failure in your office?(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:11,
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You have saved our livesWe are eternally greatful
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 12:54,
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Fucking hell peopleWhere have you all gone?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:32,
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Lunchtime innit. They're all out power lunching, probably doing some 'walking and talking' cos they're all so busy and important.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:34,
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Without my inanities gibbering forth every few seconds you lot are fucked.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:35,
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A Hong Kong dollar found in the washing machineAlt: I've misplaced my hairbrush this morning and it won't be found.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:33,
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Alt: I've lost a £100 cheque that I was sent for my birthday and I *really* need the money.So tonight I have to call up and ask my mum's 'paaaartner' to send me another one, whilst apologising for not sending her a 70th birthday present because I can't afford to buy her one.
'f', as they say 'ml'
I'm fucking fed up.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:33,
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I'll lend you a ton m8. No probs, I'm rocking up some serious scrilla these days.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:36,
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Heavy cheddar, yeah?Sweet bruv.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:37,
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I'm gonna get a money clip, as my cheese only folds, ya hear me? (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:39,
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My sig tells you all you need to know about my formaggio status.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:41,
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As I have said before, your sig works best on this day of the week, Mon.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:42,
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Edam I wouldn't stoop that low(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:44,
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I'm gonna pay (blue) Vinnie Jones to do you over.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:45,
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That would be a bit of a Saga(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:48,
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You Oka know better(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:56,
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I once did a tour of the Cheddar factory at Chedder Gorge that put me off cheese for about two hours(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:43,
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I once rimmed your missusThat put me off cheese for about 2 hours too... Coincidence I think not
(, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:44, Reply)
:oAll right Stunned give B-dog his log in back
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:45,
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'b-dog' has some rather, ah, *unfortunate* connotations...(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:46,
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Bot Dog.n. colloquial: a baguette containing a human stool, garnished with onions, ketchup etc. usually sent via mail as a threat or insult:
"Imma post that cunt a bot dog"
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:52,
Reply)
AhA little slow on the uptake there... I shall have a special Joey moment to compensate
(, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:54, Reply)
You knows it(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:49,
Reply)
*looks down** sees 2 feet*
Nope not stunned (stunning but not stunned)
(, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:47, Reply)
Ain't that an insult to you rather than her?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 14:02,
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So when are you going to kick the fuck out of Mighty Badgerfor trolling your friends on FB?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 14:04,
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I don't really know what happened, I fucked off by that time and it was mostly deleted when I got back.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 14:07,
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I believe the correct response to this is to say"You fucking idiot"
HTH
(, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:44, Reply)
Who the fuck sends a cheque these days?Call her up and tell her unless she transfers that money directly into your bank account PRONTO, you will shit in her cunt.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:54,
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Well my mother doesn't turn 70 until January, but she is well capable of chucking me a pile of birthday money via the internet.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:56,
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Yes but your mother reeks like a Mongolian fishmarket so swings and roundabouts eh.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 14:13,
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random gig and train tickets from the past five or so years that I feel the need to keep in my bag/megahoarder
Alt: at least three hammers and a couple of those mini screwdriver sets. They're always there blocking drawers when you don't need the fuckers.
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:38,
Reply)
Chilli Sauce.Alt: Counterpart driving license; last time I looked I found two.
It was for a photo renewal, in the end I said I'd lost it.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:45,
Reply)
Nothing wrong with me, but for a scary couple of hours there all the evidence seemed to suggest that b3ta and all the proxies had been blocked at my workplace.
There is nothing unexpected about what I can lay my hands on - I put it all there, why would it surprise me?
Alt: Goggles
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:48,
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So is it all back to normal now?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:50,
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Yup, /ot smells of yohgurt and yak shit once again.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:50,
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Apparently so.I'm using a proxy, out of some perhaps misplaced belief that it might be a bit safer.
An IT nerd can pop up now and say it ain't so.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:52,
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No nerds have corrected me, so I must be safe.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 14:03,
Reply)
Main Q: a copy of 'Christian Imagination in Poetry and Polity: Some Anglican Voices from Temple to Herbert'.By Rowan Williams AS IF YOU DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:50,
Reply)
A signed copy from when he came to see you at work?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:53,
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Yes, with an invitation to holiday with him in Guernsey 'whenever you like xx'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:54,
Reply)
My desk is the model of sobrietyWith the possible exception of a rubber band ball and John Peels biography
(, Mon 7 Oct 2013, 13:53, Reply)
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