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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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Morning
Three threads in a row from me. Unlucky.

I read in the paper a list of about 5 potential warning signs that you were suffering from stress. I had all of them bar one. How cool is that?

What are you suffering from?
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:23, 177 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I remember when eating 3 shredded wheat was deemed a challenge.
Three Boyce threads is off the chain.
(

JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:26, Reply)

Innit doe

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:28, Reply)

Is it?
Is it really?
(

wanderlust, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:30, Reply)

I've got an overgrowth of cartilage on my knee.
And EXTREMELY MILD depression and BARELY NOTICEABLE anxiety.

And a TWENTY PER CENT pay rise.
(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:33, Reply)

wow nice work

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:33, Reply)

THANKS

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:34, Reply)

And noe sex!Lolololololol

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:35, Reply)

did you see that Culture Shock are touring?

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:36, Reply)

I didn't have you down as a Boy George fan.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:39, Reply)

Strangely I had you down as one from day one.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:41, Reply)

It's probably down to the way I come and go.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:41, Reply)

I saw both Club and Shock laddie, hang ma sporran, tatties and nedps.
Both were good in their own way.I'm going to speak Jockaneze today, ya ken?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:43, Reply)

You do your scotchcunt thang. I'm gonna constantly refer to my pay rise.
OCH ITS GONNAE BE A GREAT DAY
(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:45, Reply)

GREAT NEWS GUYS!!!
PB seems to have developed a mental disorder!!
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:46, Reply)

I thought CC were good live. Fucking muso snob :)

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:52, Reply)

I sure am!

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:00, Reply)

And that lead singer lass sure made your winkie tingle, amirite?

(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:09, Reply)

I didnae laddie nooh! Help ma boab, jings and crivvens I shall investigate!

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:40, Reply)

gigs are all in weird places, Preston for you I think
Tottenham for me: £7!!

edit there is a Manchester one actually:
www.cultureshock.me.uk/
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:41, Reply)

It's ok, I can buy a wristband and ride all day with the local brasses thanks to my pay rise.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:36, Reply)

Whys that then? Did you threaten to quit

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:45, Reply)

IT'S BECAUSE i AM A HIGHLY VALUED MEMBER OF STAFF, AND AN ALL ROUND GOOD EGG

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:46, Reply)

Wjat are the signs? Probably some Guardian reader crap, tiredness, irritability etc.
Anyhoos hippy you said you've sold your gaff? When do you leave and have you got anywhere sorted?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:38, Reply)

can't remember soz
sleep problems
skin problems
dietary problems
increased drinking etc

some other shit

no date and nothing sorted
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:40, Reply)

Lets be honest that list is
pretty mutually inclusive, bad diet means bad skin, increased drinking = sleep problems etc etc...

Its a bit like grabbing a random symptom then extrapolating backwards
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:49, Reply)

Half those things seem to be 'is terminally British'

(

Theoban What of it, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 10:19, Reply)

Perhaps they should be included in some Home Office citizenship test for forrins wanting to live here.

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 10:20, Reply)

Car has a puncture. £210. For a new tyre.

(

Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:44, Reply)

And you'll have to drive all the way to toy town to get it
MORNING!
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:45, Reply)

The rest of the Anthill Mob'll chip in though yeah?

(

Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:46, Reply)

ouch

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:47, Reply)

The other front one is borderline so getting that one done as well. Terrific.

(

Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:49, Reply)

Ain't life grand?*

*no
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:51, Reply)

They ALWAYS find a borderline one the elth and safety got mad prick lords

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:56, Reply)

Nah it genuinely needs replacing.

(

Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:00, Reply)

Get yourself a super sweet Astra mate, £45 per corner innit.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:47, Reply)

Bentspasticitus
My jaw gets really sore when I'm stressed, I must clench it or grind my teeth in my sleep
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:44, Reply)

Or sucking off sailors down the dock
So you can revel in slutty self loathing
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:48, Reply)

I suffer from having excellent cheekbones.
And great skin.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:46, Reply)

And size 45 shoes.

And stupid bits of metal sticking out of your face.

And being a gaylord.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:48, Reply)

And not getting a pay rise.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:48, Reply)

better that than bankruptcy, grey hair and stress.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:49, Reply)

You know what, I disagree.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:50, Reply)

only out of contrarianism

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:51, Reply)

I would rather be me with all my associated nightmares
than a 5-foot second-hand jocko Billy Smart reject in the miserable wastelands of the north, wearing turquoise blue sk8 kayaks and 'piercings', ta.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:55, Reply)

I bet he has Fubu jeans

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:56, Reply)

ent never owned Fubu
Or Wu Wear.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:58, Reply)

and a 'Spliffy' bomber jacket

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:59, Reply)

Hardcore 'Eclipse' shit is the way

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:00, Reply)

Fuckin right, bro!

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:01, Reply)

NAFF NAFF

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:02, Reply)

You look as disappointed as someone who was expecting Harlem Shuffle and got Jump Around instead

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:48, Reply)

I don't what this is, sorry

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:50, Reply)

I thought it was pretty good :(

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:55, Reply)

I don't understand the joke.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:57, Reply)

Really?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:58, Reply)

Yes.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:58, Reply)

Oh.

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:00, Reply)

good efforts Mince, I for one appreciate you taking time out of your busy hoovering schedule to prop up this place with naught but stones and a can do attitude
THREE CHEERS FOR MINCE!

HIP HIP...
(

Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:51, Reply)

poor Mince :(((((((

(

Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:54, Reply)

Luv ya Reg.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:56, Reply)

A man goes into the doctors
and says
"doctor my wife suffers from premature ejaculation"

Doctor looks at him and ponders for a minute and replies

"your wife suffers from premature ejaculation are you sure you don't mean the other way round...

Man says

"no I don't give a shit she can finish herself off"
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:54, Reply)

HAHA, RIGHT LADS????!!!

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:56, Reply)

Tips hat
Lad banter is the future
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:01, Reply)

I don't get it, probably a bit high brow for me.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:57, Reply)

Sounds like he may have tried that cream that reduces sensitivity
He'd still come too quickly, but be unable to give a monkeys.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:58, Reply)

im not sure what the man wants from the doctor here
does he just like wasting valuable gp time or summat? and how come, yeah, whenever i go to the doctors about my *coughcough* im in and out of there in five minutes yet every other count that goes in before me is gettin a flockin viewing of titanic or summat the amount of time these counts take, WHATS THAT ALL ABOUT?
(

Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:00, Reply)

They're weak specimens whereas you're a manly man?

(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:12, Reply)

well i wernt gonna be the first to say it

(

Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:13, Reply)

Truth ne known I feel shite, chucked out the juicer at 4ish up at 7ish and just found a train. In that borderline area of pissed/hungover/sobering up.
Pretty rough.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:57, Reply)

Morning.
Possibly suffering from stress but you didn't tell us the warning signs so not sure. Beginning to worry now though.
(

edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 8 Oct 2013, 8:59, Reply)

CALM DOWN EDJ I CAN'T STRESS THAT ENOUGH

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:02, Reply)

You are suffering from "old"

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:05, Reply)

Maybe, but it wasn't me who destroyed Dresden

(

edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:53, Reply)

I think I burnt my lips on holiday as they are a bit sore today

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:13, Reply)

Or is it friction burn from the hardcore gob jobs you dish out to all and sundry?

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:16, Reply)

well I AM quite brown, so if I knock out all my teeth I'll deffo have a punter in Monce

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:17, Reply)

I like your sharp business mind 'Boss'

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:18, Reply)

*feels sick*

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:20, Reply)

Oh dear, you said 'yes' again didn't you?

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:21, Reply)

with gusto!

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:22, Reply)

My eczema has a tendency to get worse when I'm stressed
As a result, it's fucking awful at the minute. Work is mental.

In other news, I've starting watching Orange Is The New Black and The Blacklist over the couple of days, both are excellent, so far.
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:20, Reply)

I bet your pillow looks like someone crushed a bag of quavers on it

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:22, Reply)

lol

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:23, Reply)

I only tend to get it on my hands
Although that is a impressively disgusting mental image, I approve.
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:27, Reply)

hello children

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:22, Reply)

hello mummy

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:23, Reply)

bitty?

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:24, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2113752
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:30, Reply)

you are on sick sick form today
SICK
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:32, Reply)

alright treacle?

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:33, Reply)

missed you lots and lots
of course
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:41, Reply)

^soppy

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:41, Reply)

^foppy^

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:43, Reply)

+ L

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:44, Reply)

says the queen of the gaylords

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:45, Reply)

I didn't realise how much I'd enjoy being a gay prick.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:46, Reply)

once you've enjoyed a finger up the bum, it's all downhill
or uphill, if you're gardening
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:50, Reply)

I've only been fingered by a Doctor (Not me) and I didn't particularly enjoy it.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:52, Reply)

well most men don't know how to use their fingers
you should have gone private
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:54, Reply)

Can't afford it, even with my PAY RISE

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:55, Reply)

oh did you get a payrise?
you can afford a hooker now
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:58, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2113670
(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:59, Reply)

i'm the best one here

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:44, Reply)

Frank! I luv ya Frank!

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:42, Reply)

yo man

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:37, Reply)

Honestly, so many different things that I can't even name them all without forgetting some.
I think some people call it 'life'.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:31, Reply)

Oh life

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:36, Reply)

oh li-i-i-ife

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:37, Reply)

Oh life do do do

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:37, Reply)

i quite fancy some toast now

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:38, Reply)

Alright Nakers
Good hols?
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:38, Reply)

yes thanks, bit windy on the last day though
has it been catastrophically shit without me?
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:39, Reply)

Sadly yes.
You and Monts off at the same time made it a lot slower on here.
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:40, Reply)

it ent no fluffen s club party with the counts back either

(

Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:42, Reply)

True
Perhaps I have been pinning my hopes on these two too much
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:43, Reply)

I'll do my best to pull this place out of the doldrums and onto the shiney jet stream of lolarity

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:51, Reply)

I'm back from hol today too so you can put me down for rear gunner.

(

edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:56, Reply)

^euphamism^

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Linin' 'em up here boss.

(

edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:59, Reply)

Sleep deprivation again
3am wide awake until about ten to 6, giving me about 10 mins sleep before kids woke up

I'd drink more but I haven't got any beer in
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:52, Reply)

why did they replace peanut revels with fucking raisins?
nobody likes chocolate raisins. NOBODY.

and the nasty coffee cunts can go fuck themselves too.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:53, Reply)

Are Revels part of the diet that your two grand nutritionist drew up for you?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:54, Reply)

just because two grand would buy five houses in Coventry is no need to be a bitter prick

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:58, Reply)

Are you 2 going to have a fight?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 10:02, Reply)

not a fair one

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 10:04, Reply)

About 5 fucking years ago
Do keep up

Coffee ones are the best ones too
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:57, Reply)

^wrongun^

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:57, Reply)

INORITE

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 9:58, Reply)

dunno m8

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 10:00, Reply)

what???
although I can't complain too much. we can share a bag and you can eat the horrible ones, leaving the tasty discs and orange and teasers and caramels for me!
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 10:02, Reply)

Deal
Although I bagsie halfers on the caramel ones
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 10:09, Reply)

do I get all the chocolate discs?

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 10:12, Reply)

OK

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 10:13, Reply)

your wife is a lucky lady

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 10:14, Reply)

tggi^

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 10:17, Reply)

Maybe coffee Revels are causing your insomnia?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 10:03, Reply)

*penny drops*

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 10:09, Reply)

*bums*

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 10:15, Reply)

Morning Ape

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 10:17, Reply)

alright sporters, how's the North east this morning
I'll be up your way ina couple of weeks for a weddig
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 10:21, Reply)

Warm and sunny today squire
Where is the wedding?
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 10:24, Reply)

TRIP MONTS
Perpetual motion
(

Theoban What of it, Tue 8 Oct 2013, 10:17, Reply)

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