Just woke and vomited copiously. Don't think I'm pregnant. When did you last hurl and why?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24727191
Pretty good idea really. Do you think schools should teach more life skills? It was discussed a bit yesterday about schools teaching money management, I think this is an excellent idera.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 5:58, 194 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Its been at least 3 years since I last puked
I'm currently sitting with a coffee at some random services on the M74
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 7:53, Reply)

i didn't know there was an M74
It's only 8:15 and I've learned something already
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 8:14, Reply)

Haven't hurled for yonks
Last time was due to a red wine overload - combined with the curry I'd eaten it made for some interesting shade/texture motifs.
Schools should teach life skills. However it should also be acknowledged that despite the best teaching, the finest guidance and the most loving nurture some people are and always will be :-
1/Dumbasses
2/Feckless idiots
3/Lowlifes
4/Scumbags
or
5/A permutation of any or all of the above.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 8:27, Reply)

Morning.
Last year, don't think I'm pregnant either.

I believe that children are the future. Get 'em up them chimneys!
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 30 Oct 2013, 8:45, Reply)

I had gastritis for a long while before Mrs V got me to go to the doctor.
The weird thing with that was that I tended to throw up when I'd been drinking heavily, and although it seemed the two were connected, they weren't. Long story short I got fixed.

Alt: YM
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 8:52, Reply)

June 12th. Food poisoning from a dodgy omelette.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 8:53, Reply)

Dodgy...was it a knockoff?

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 30 Oct 2013, 8:59, Reply)

cut and shut.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:00, Reply)

2 cars welded together?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:13, Reply)

Probably broken eggs joined together.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:14, Reply)

^TGGI

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:18, Reply)

That's not a cut and shut.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:22, Reply)

Unlike your Volvo.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:43, Reply)

I hurl on a fairly regular basis because I am a tart
It is normally due to gag reflex when brushing my teeth. Still it does mean I would make a rubbish gayer.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:01, Reply)

I thought that was just me.
(the teeth gagging, not the rubbish gayer)
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:07, Reply)

I think you are both the best benders I have ever "come across".

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:13, Reply)

*wipes "tear" from eye*
gee thanks Stunned
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:15, Reply)

Aw thanks.
Are you a Starfish Enterprise pilot?
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:15, Reply)

It fucking annoys me
(again the teeth thing not the rubbish gayer) it always kicks in just as I have finished so I need to give them a quick brush again after and vicious circle ensues
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:16, Reply)

Have you tried not being such a queer?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:17, Reply)

BUt you are sooooo purty

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:18, Reply)

It's the face innit. MAGNIFICENT.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:20, Reply)

Mines only the far corners, wisdom teeth.
I gag but just manage to avoid puking.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:18, Reply)

make a fist with your other hand with the thumb inside and squeeze it while brushing
works for me.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:44, Reply)

I haven't hurled in ages, but I do like it when you are massively hungover and a good vomit makes you feel loads better.
I feel like being sick quite alot due to eating copious amounts of MEATZA.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:15, Reply)

David Attenborough told me frogs couldn't puke.
or is it cockroaches?
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:16, Reply)

Dunno. Seagulls can't fart apparently, though this may be bullshit.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:17, Reply)

Fucken good job I say.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:18, Reply)

Probably should have done a
B G there.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:19, Reply)

haha

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:21, Reply)

Frogs do puke
But they often turn the stomach inside out rather than puke in the conventional way, they can have their whole guts hanging out of their mouths. which they then clean with their feet
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:20, Reply)

I went out with a girl like that.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:20, Reply)

You've never been out with a girl.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:31, Reply)

make frog do it!
film it!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:44, Reply)

google says
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMFyw5Vv-ac
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:59, Reply)

Oh. Gross.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:02, Reply)

Rats can't puke, I think

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:39, Reply)

this is true

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:43, Reply)

Teaching in a class room is probably very hard.
With having thick kids and smart kids, some who have parents that can help at home, and some that can't.
I think trying to push life skills in a class room environment would be difficult if these things were not present in the home.
Imagine telling a kid who eats shit food daily and never has new clothes that his dad should not have a big TV, and his mum shouldn't use her credit card for her new shoes. It could cause difficulties.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:21, Reply)

Yer, they've got their priorities right and
teachers should butt out.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:23, Reply)

I don't think teachers should butt out,
But it's not something you can just slot in to a curriculum.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:24, Reply)

I think we should.
There has to be some sort of authority figure explaining that there is a sensible, non-ruinous way to conduct your finances.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:29, Reply)

Certainly not a job for Boyce.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:29, Reply)

I agree entirely,
But it is going to cause friction if a kid goes home with his basic economics home work, which clearly states parent is an idiot for their financial choices, thick people are going to kick up a fuss like every time someone tries to help them.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:31, Reply)

We are shackled by the stupid in society all the time.
Let's try and give a new generation of mouth breathers a fighting chance.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:42, Reply)

this^^

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:30, Reply)

Ooooooh hark at Pigface with his serious 'opinions'
I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOU BEING SICK MATE
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:30, Reply)

I'm probably sick
I woke up at 7am (even though I didn't have to) in a good mood. Now I have french toast and blueberries and the feeling isn't dispersing. Fucked up it what it is
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:32, Reply)

Make sick come out your mouth.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:33, Reply)

later
right now, tasty breakfast
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:33, Reply)

right.
I puked for about 12 hours straight when I was in cyprus, in the end it was like fluroescent yellow goo
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:38, Reply)

and I once puked on a paramedic
after giving blood. I'm banned from the welsh blood service
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:38, Reply)

I had food poisoning for about 10 days after a dodgy BBQ. I the end it was black.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:39, Reply)

indeed
I was "a bit unwell" after an almost back-street appendectomy (Bradford Royal Infirmary back in the early 90s). They'd stapled me up badly and didn't put a drain on the wound, so a week later the blood clots squeezed my intestine closed and everything went backwards.

Very messy.
(Twangy Rubber, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Last time I vomited it was in the back of my friends car,
And I was so drunk I tried to vomit in to my own hands and it sort of ricocheted out if my hands on to the back of the head of the girl in the front seat.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:33, Reply)

That's better.
I once tried to puke out my mate's car window, thinking it was open. It wasn't. He wasn't best pleased.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:34, Reply)

This but "my dad's car, when I was 17"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:06, Reply)

That's textbook, piggers.
I once got up in the middle of the night to go for a piss to find my brother, his girlfriend and his mate all trying to be sick into the same toilet. It was very amusing. Much vomiting on each other. i thought about trying to piss through a gap, but decided best not to.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:05, Reply)

You're the best drunk ever.

( Kroney, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:09, Reply)

In fairness, I once watched a mate precisely fill a pint glass to the brim with puke
without spilling a drop. then put it down and carry on drinking. I've yet to see this bettered.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:11, Reply)

I don't understand why people can't just get nicely drunk and be satisfied.

( Kroney, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:16, Reply)

He is in scotland innit
national pass time, he will regale us with tales of his burgeoning smack habit soon
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:18, Reply)

It's all a massive fraud, you know. He may be in Scotland
but he's not actually Scottish. I don't know why he's been allowed to get away with this for so long.
( Kroney, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:21, Reply)

I realise this
I assume by now he would have gone native
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:23, Reply)

I met him once, he wasn't even wearing a kilt, the fucking faker.

( Kroney, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:26, Reply)

Its a fucking liberty Krones
Imagine a world where you obtained a nationality that might not be your own...

PC gone mad
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:30, Reply)

I do have a kilt, though.
I will be wearing it in That London at the start of december if that makes you feel any better?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:43, Reply)

This was actually in Shropshire
and the chap concerned was from Leeds.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:42, Reply)

I haven't thrown up in ages.
I nearly did this morning. I'm not pregnant either, I'd just had a dream in which OG was sexting ginger DJ Chris Evans. Evans had forwarded me one to make me jelly. What a prick, eh, readers?
( Kroney, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 9:58, Reply)

I took inspiration from your moaning yesterday and got a smartphone on the way home.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:00, Reply)

What you get?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:01, Reply)

Samsung. Not the huge one, S4.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:04, Reply)

A SMARTPHONE CANT YOU FUCKING READ

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:04, Reply)

snipurl.com/2836pl3
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:06, Reply)

I've finally got everything off my iPhone after a grumpy evening attempting to install
iTunes, which didn't work because the flatmate fucked my laptop to the extent that it wouldn't accept any new installs at all. I had to entirely rebuild the bloody laptop just to install iTunes. Angry at Apple, annoyed at my flatmate. I'm going to have to rebuild the fucker a second time just to get rid of Apple's bloatware. Bah.
( Kroney, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:08, Reply)

Why is it iPhone users always refer to their mobile phone as their iPhone?
I can't think of any other phone users that refer to their phone by its model Hang on, I'll be right with you, i've got a call coming in on my Galaxy.
( Peej, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:22, Reply)

I do this with my car. 'Hop in the Astra' I say, 'I'll bring the Astra' says I,
That way people know I'm a success. A success with an ASTRA.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:24, Reply)

you should talk to your sister about this
and what girls might think of it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:31, Reply)

Bitch can't even drive yet. She's learning innit, so I might give her my car cos I'm nice.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:34, Reply)

I do this too
but I say Merc because I am cooler than you
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:32, Reply)

Mercs are for bitches and queers. Real men and TRUE LADZ drive Astras or Mk 2 Golfs.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:33, Reply)

I call my car Bucephalus as it is my steed and I have crippling delusions of grandeur.

( Kroney, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:40, Reply)

I might rename mine Sleipnir in that case

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:46, Reply)

I call mine Legion, as devils possess me when I drive and everyone else on the road becomes a 'fucking stupid cunt'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:47, Reply)

I imagine riding down thousands of Persians when I drive.
Which, when I lived in Slough, wasn't so far off the truth.
( Kroney, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:49, Reply)

You should come down to Folkestone*, not many Persians but thousands of Ghurkas if you're into that kinda thing.
*obviously you definitely shouldn't as it is shit
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:50, Reply)

down

You slut.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 11:04, Reply)

I'm just using the term to differentiate it from my other phone.
If you're talking about two phones, you can't just call them both "my phone", it's confusing. I learned that at university, you know.
( Kroney, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:25, Reply)

people used to do that with cameras in the early 20th century
referring to them as 'Kodaks'

Fascinating I'm sure you'll agree
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:32, Reply)

I haven't hurled due to booze for years
because I'm not some kind of fucking pansy.

Actually, I've not been sick for years, full stop.

I am sure the presence of a small child now in nursery will rectify this toot sweet.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:04, Reply)

germ engines int they
I haven't puked for years either, although I've come close to a tactical chunder on occasion.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:06, Reply)

Meh, I see the value in a good TC.
Just not really needed one for years. probably, I'm not drinking enough.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:07, Reply)

Or your alcohol resistance has increased
to the point that the "vomit" point has moved out past the "pass out" point.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:18, Reply)

Dunno where that came from.
Got up jada brew.....SPEW! Feel muchbetter now though. Considering toast.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:19, Reply)

i hope you cleaned up after yourself

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:36, Reply)

Just made the loo.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:42, Reply)

Cackle my Gladys

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:21, Reply)

Introduce me to Gladstone.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:26, Reply)

more feeble grandad

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:36, Reply)

from alcohol - about 12 months ago after my friends were really late arriving and the barnan kept plying me with free voddies so didn't eat any of the dinner
I then misbehaved with someone extremely inappropriate (not the barman), and woke up in the morning being sick.

from illness - I am sick if I eat too much fat late at night, so a few weeks ago after pizza.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:25, Reply)

+and cock

( Peej, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:30, Reply)

i've never been sick from cock
that's for amateurs.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:31, Reply)

Perhaps, but you've also never had a pizza without having some cock afterwards

( Peej, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:32, Reply)

Now is an appropriate time to remind everyone that you sucked Chompy's penis.
And probably PJM's as well.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 10:33, Reply)

State-funded drink problems, and how to get out of working a single day in your whole life

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 11:07, Reply)

someone make a new thread
I though you daytime kids were all about new threads and craziness and discussing such in depth things as your lunch.

I might have soup in an hour or so
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 11:20, Reply)

You do one then hopefully it'll get stomped.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 11:21, Reply)

i fear the new thread-making

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 11:25, Reply)

Last week when I had a stomach bug and it was coming out of both ends.
They should teach oats. So we would know them.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 11:46, Reply)