Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Yo! Morning.Who's up for a day of #TOPBANTS and petty squabbles?
Alt: I have a new bag, what do you have?
Altalt: Cor! I expect something has happened in the news, let's have some hair brained, half baked, idiotic chat about that thing that happened that you are outraged about.
God, you're stupid
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 7:48,
175 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
cool beanz brattahMarcus Intalex is playing in town on Friday, might pop along innit.
(, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:07, Reply)
NO ONE BUT YOU GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR MATE MARCUS INTERCOURSE! (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:08,
Reply)
Go and show your face at least, I'm sure he'd be pleased to see you(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:09,
Reply)
I might stand right next to the booth and ask him what every tune is(, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:13, Reply)
also ask him to play something you like, selfish bastards these disc jockeys(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:19,
Reply)
I'm outraged that the Daily Mail would start a mud slinging campaign against a labour politician.(, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:03, Reply)
I'm on my way to that London. Working a top secret job. It's all very exciting.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:04,
Reply)
I've got to go to an address in central, Then phone a number and they'll send a car to pick me up. I am hoping for exciting secret club or maybe a mafia crime den. Either that or someone's having me "dissapeared"
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:07,
Reply)
That all sounds rather odd. I hope your organs aren't being harvested, you need them.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:10,
Reply)
I think it's fair to say I am nonplussed, but for the sake of being an alright sort of chap I am pretending to care.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:14,
Reply)
Now I hope they do kill me. :((
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:18,
Reply)
Well, I need most of them. They can have a couple if they're desperate like.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:12,
Reply)
Let's them have ONE of your penises/penii.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:14,
Reply)
he'll probably give them his collection of human immunodeficiency virii(, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:16, Reply)
i have a taxi driver who is a fucking talker shut up talking, I don't want to talk.
he sounds exactly like the mr man in little britain who goes into the shop and asks for random things, droning away to himself :(
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:20,
Reply)
use the opportunity to develop your autistic social skills(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:21,
Reply)
but I'm not autisthe is currently listing all his big customers. FFS.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:24,
Reply)
Get your laptop out and do some workif they're paying for the taxi then you're on the clock.
(, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:25, Reply)
nah my boss doesn't think the firm should pay for me being too lazy to take the tube for some unfathomable reason :(
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:34,
Reply)
And your clients won't pay for working during cab rides. Unless they are morons.
(, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:07, Reply)
Just say ' excuse me, I don't wish to be rude, BUT SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CUNT'. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:28,
Reply)
Punch him. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:26,
Reply)
on the plus side we just went past a house on the embankment that always amuses me the dude has an Aston with the reg 2B. and a range rover with the reg NOT2B. haha.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:33,
Reply)
I know where that is. Seems to be a slightly circuitous route from your place to your office. He's rigging your fare, so to speak. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:37,
Reply)
yep, it's not the way I would have gone but he said there was traffic that way. fixed fare so his problem innit!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:40,
Reply)
Well, that is amusing. I'm on a smelly tube train. Stupid trains.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:41,
Reply)
I am on the train to Beaconsfield. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:42,
Reply)
Oh get her with her "I have a taxi driver."Us proles have to get in the first one that comes.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:06,
Reply)
Dunno lolAlt: A cup of tea
Altalt: I agree with Bonzo, Al, CQ and Chompy, the rest of you are capitalist pricks.
I know.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:50,
Reply)
You're the worst kind - a sell out(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 8:53,
Reply)
Not everyone can carry one off with such aplomb(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:08,
Reply)
And neither can you. Your beard weighs more than you do. HAVE A SHAVE, MAN!
(, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:09, Reply)
Seriously, you don't want to see what it's like under all that hair(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:12,
Reply)
I dont todayI look so young, Bartleby will be after me
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:12,
Reply)
Turns out no one is then(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:03,
Reply)
Twitterers? YM? Danny Dyer?I dunno, give up.
Alt: I have about three films left to watch to cover the majority of the Oscar categories. I watched Before Midnight last night to confirm that the central couple are still a pair or irritating twee cunts three films in.
AltAlt: I don't trust any news media outlets so I've no idea what's going on in the world. I get all my facts from the David Icke forums.
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:03,
Reply)
I am indeedSportscow present, correct and reporting for duty
Alt:
I have seeds for onions, carrots, beetroot and courgettes
AltAlt:
I'm outraged at the lack of milk in the Cow household. Therefore I am currently cooking toast
I am indeed stupid. 5 mile run last night = John Wayne impression today
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:03,
Reply)
#TOPGUNBANTZ
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:04,
Reply)
Bit complicated. I won't try that at home.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:16,
Reply)
Try itIts a taste sensation!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:17,
Reply)
I'm no Ainsley Harriot mate,Apart from being black obv.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:19,
Reply)
Also I add condiments to my food with a ridiculously camp flourish.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:21,
Reply)
I do hope you sing as you add olive oil to a pan(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:22,
Reply)
I'm strong to the finish, 'cause I eats me Spinach(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:24,
Reply)
He needs something to carry his purse in(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:07,
Reply)
It's cool, I think I could get about 6 cans of beer in it.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:08,
Reply)
I love the idea of marketing alcohol to childrenThey should bring that back.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:19,
Reply)
I only drink shandy produced at Folkestone based soft drinks manufacturer, SIlver Spring. Soz.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:16,
Reply)
Is it supposed to be that colour?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:19,
Reply)
Villa pop is manna from heavenBright green cream soda FTW
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:21,
Reply)
YoHad a mild panic attack this morning at Whitechapel Station at 8:55 that I was supposed to be on a conference call at 9. Turns out that's tomorrow. Chances of me being in at 9 tomorrow? I give it maybe 40%. But since the other bloke is in India it's probably mean to do it later.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:29,
Reply)
You're not in Brum now, LiC. This is LONDON. The Big Time. The Smoke. T'Metropolis. Gotham City.
(, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:45, Reply)
which is why I roll in at 20 past most mornings as I can just mutter "bloody tube" and nobody bats an eyelid.
I'd have been on a verbal warning anywhere else by now.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:57,
Reply)
Not meAlt: Lucozade and a fatty sandwich
AltAlt: Of all the characters in Ghostbusters, Egon was my least favourite, so whilst it's a shame he's dead, I can't particularly find myself able to give a shit.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:41,
Reply)
I saw K-Dawg's massive evil twin again today*fears*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:46,
Reply)
Well. If no one will speak English how can I be expected to know what the fuck thay are talking about. (, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:59, Reply)
Yes, KroneyTake one Kroney, add at least a foot in height and about 4 stone. Add bizarre lip stud and retire to a safe distance
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 10:02,
Reply)
You need to take a course in 'urban' or you won't be able to communicate with 'nig-nog the cooking slave'(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 10:03,
Reply)
'nig-nog the cooking slave' to this tune:www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5i_pEYGe1o
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 10:07,
Reply)
Like a mighty camembert he seems to fry(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 10:09,
Reply)
Ainsley Harriott chat is up there ^^^(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:58,
Reply)
I've got a load of emails from stupid people being stupid that I have to deal with.At what point is it acceptable to be rude to people because they're being incompetent?
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:49,
Reply)
Second uno. Dear cunt,
Fuck off wasting my time or I'll rape and drown your fucking dog.
Shit cunt.
Vaginabond.
(, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:51, Reply)
I didn't have you down as a gentleman of letters.On a political discussion messageboard I go on, I once received the accolade "VAGINABOND YOU ARE A MORON!!!!!!!!!" in 72pt, which I was quite pleased with.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:53,
Reply)
If it's work related, with immediate effect.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:52,
Reply)
Tell them one of your ledgebantz stories. That'll insure they never speak to you again.
(, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:54, Reply)
"ensure"(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:57,
Reply)
i tell you what I've gotno patience waiting for my new doc martens to arrive
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 9:59,
Reply)
I thought half term was last week?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 10:02,
Reply)
it variesaround teh country and between schools and things. Handily round here it seems that lots of kids were off last week, meaning less annoying kids about
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 10:03,
Reply)
if only you could just buy these items in a shopand not have to wait for delivery
(, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 10:04, Reply)
you can'tthey're from ebay - it was some limited edition thing a bit ago
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 26 Feb 2014, 10:06,
Reply)
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