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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What would improve your day by 10%?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 13:53,
196 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
This really would improve it by more than 10%(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 13:55,
Reply)
By my calculations, it is exactly 10% although it may differ for person to person.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 13:57,
Reply)
Starting an hour later would be about 17%(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 13:57,
Reply)
I know this because today I woke up three minutes after my train left.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:01,
Reply)
Nah, bonus lie in. I was only 40 mins late. And no one cares anyway.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:03,
Reply)
Okay, thanks!Because I'm generally very reliable, everyone assumes it's train bother rather than me being a lazy bastard.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:05,
Reply)
mrs frog???fuck that. he can be mr swipe.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:07,
Reply)
Is that because it's usually you making me late?(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:08,
Reply)
More posting on B3ta and an early finish.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 13:57,
Reply)
An extra hour of sleep this morning(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 13:57,
Reply)
My alarm usually goes off before the kids on weekdays(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:00,
Reply)
I've set an alarm about twice in 7 years(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:01,
Reply)
Your kids sound like worse cunts than mine(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:01,
Reply)
You could sell them for medical experimenationthat way you get to lie in and you will get the extra cash for the conservatory
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:04, Reply)
Good planalthough conservatory can GTF
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:05,
Reply)
Oh I thought that was your next building projectwas it just an extension?
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:07, Reply)
Extension rather than conservatory thoughMade out of bricks and stuff
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:08,
Reply)
DontThey are too hot in summer and too cold in winter. At least get an orangery with better walls and roof
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:11,
Reply)
^^^thisalthough in spring/autumn it solar heats the house quite well.
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:13, Reply)
yeah thats the sort of thinga proper one rather than the low rent shit. My gaff is a bit odd in that way it has a yard then a driveway then the garden
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:13, Reply)
Currently looking at a 9.5m x 3m extension with either 5m of bifold doors or 2 x 3mSloped vaulted ceiling with loads of Velux in
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:15,
Reply)
I dont know how they would get round the external pipework thoughWell to be honest its going to be a good year way anyhow so worry about it then.
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:21, Reply)
A good architect and builder can sort thatWe need to box in the soilpipe when we do ours
and if that isn't a euphamism, it fucking should be!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:22,
Reply)
an under the desk blowjob providerwould improve my day by exactly 10%
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 13:59, Reply)
I'm sure Jay would help you out(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:00,
Reply)
10%? That's a pretty shit blowjob provider you've got yourself there(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:00, Reply)
I dont have one thats the problemI would expect a 10% increase in daily pleasure. To be fair I only get to enjoy one for about 30 secs anyway
*short fuse woes*
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:03, Reply)
strikethrough fusereplace with word of choice. for lols.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:06,
Reply)
If the guys who are fitting my new fire and fireplace could hurry the fuck up and finishso that I could get the heating back on. Fucking freezing in here.
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:00, Reply)
*loses finger to frostbite*(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:02,
Reply)
maybe you should seek a global cull on hamstersfor your 10%
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:06,
Reply)
No, Dozer needs love. It will make him a better person.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:18,
Reply)
no, a piano falling on his head from a tenth storey apartment would make him a better person(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:28,
Reply)
you mean those hookers whose mouths you shit in don't provide a full service?did you see my earlier post about my friend thinking you were hot?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:08,
Reply)
I think thats exactly what she was trying to do, yes(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:10,
Reply)
SWIPE STYLEi showed it to a friend
she thinks you're fit.
that's about 7 of my mates who have expressed a similar view when they've seen you on my fb.
what is the matter with my friends?
( Mrs.Frog is not a foodwrong, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 13:12, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
NON SPAZ STYLE
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2233137
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:13,
Reply)
austin powershop on the good foot and do the bad thing
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:16,
Reply)
Yeah, Baby! My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery.
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:17, Reply)
he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:27,
Reply)
The copy/paste method tells a different story.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:17,
Reply)
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:27,
Reply)
Before you do anything thoughmake sure you get them to send pictures back. They could all be proper uggos.
And the photos have to be at least topless or its a non starter with that prude.
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:15, Reply)
They sort of do that in Japan.My mate was telling me. He said that just pressing random buttons on them can make for a bit of a surprise.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:12,
Reply)
i remember the toilets in finland having a hose next to them. not just bathroom toilets, but individual cubicles in restaurants, the airport etcnow, I get why you would want that (in fact, a phlegmatic finnish lady told my friend very frankly that it was "for period clots" when she was dumb enough to ask, took us both a few stiff voddies to recover from that).
but how on earth could you use it without saturating yourself, your clothes, the toilet cubicle...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:15,
Reply)
see, sadlyI don't think this is right. she was VERY graphic in her douching explanation
*remembers*
*needs more voddie*
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:17,
Reply)
what were you doing in the ladies toilets in all those countries, dude??(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:26,
Reply)
Period clots up your nose?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:22,
Reply)
If you liked it then you should have put a cork in it(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:16,
Reply)
MEGA DOUCHE.That toilet thing is a bad idea too.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:22,
Reply)
I saw one that does that, moisturises your little pink sixpence and has a radio. Crazy Japs.
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:15, Reply)
has a webcam attached, more likemuch like your cat's collar
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:16,
Reply)
It's all built into the seat. They're about two grand. (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:17,
Reply)
A nap. I'm absolutely dying after my weekend.I fell asleep at half eight on Friday like a fucking rock star.
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Kroney, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:19,
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It was after a 4am finish on Friday morningbut yeah, it was pretty pathetic.
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Kroney, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:21,
Reply)
It was supposed to be a concrete based pun(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:23,
Reply)
Oh right, I'm still tired.Did that and a walk up Alexandra Palace on Saturday, fell asleep at a quarter to ten. Went to Kew yesterday, fell asleep fully clothed and with the bedroom light on.
I'm like a fucking invalid at the moment.
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Kroney, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:26,
Reply)
Tucked up in bed, whimpering about leaving my teddy at home.(
Kroney, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:22,
Reply)
This has improved my daywww.bbc.co.uk/news/business-26511507
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:46,
Reply)
Bananas are grown in Icelandbut take two years to grow, instead of one.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:52,
Reply)
What's up with the threads today?Mind, I suppose we have to deduct Rory's 50% argument quota
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:54,
Reply)
Its not as bad as it has been(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:57,
Reply)
I've reached 39 without this being done(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:56,
Reply)
My day would have been improved by much more than 10% if my ex had let me see my daughter this afternoon as usual.She refused.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:57,
Reply)
Is she actually giving a reason?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 14:57,
Reply)
The same one that's off to Scotland?Definitely a bee in her bonnet. She's carrying some hatred and no mistake.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:05,
Reply)
You know, that hadn't occurred to me Jason.You fucking idiot.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:07,
Reply)
Well if you're this charming I can see why!!(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:08,
Reply)
It's amazing that she let this one go isn't it.Totally unbelievable.
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:09, Reply)
Sorry for not knowing everything about the many failed marriages of B3ta.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:20,
Reply)
I wouldn't worry about it.You may or may not have upset someone on the internet. Do you really care?
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:21, Reply)
i'm in the precipice of great upset and woe(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:25,
Reply)
Get RoRo to send his spreadsheet out(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:23,
Reply)
I have gazzed him for a copy...**not really
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:24,
Reply)
he'll be at the bottom of a snow drift by nowwishing he hadn't eaten that last potato and begging the Russian hookers to look twice at him
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:25,
Reply)
Correspondence is ongoing. However, without a court order nothing is enforceable. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:14,
Reply)
True enough. And judges do fuck all when the mothers breach the agreements or orders. Financial sanctions are available to judges when mother's breach agreements and orders, I don't think one judge has ever used them.
Stop her money. See how she likes that.
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:23, Reply)
there was a case in the fail a while ago where the mother breached 86 orders and deprived the father of seeing his kid for 14 yearsstupid fucking bitch. how can anyone think their happiness/bitterness is greater than their child's?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:26,
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I think that my happiness is of greater importance than any child's.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:29,
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Well, both OUR happinesses are more important than that of a mere child, I think we can at least agree here.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:31,
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To be honest, I never really believed all that, I always thought that MY happiness is more important, and always will.I hope you're happy now.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:37,
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Stopping money for micro would work against me, as well as being morally wrong. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:30,
Reply)
That's a two way street, mate. Stopping you from seeing your daughter isn't exactly beyond reproach.
I ain't saying leave her destitute. Pay it a few days late or a couple of hundred short, just to mess her about. Like she is you.
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:34, Reply)
check 'emb3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2226533
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:38,
Reply)
I have already explained what he needs to doif he cant follow my simple advice then on his head be it
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:47, Reply)
Yeah but no one ever reads your posts, bonz(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:48,
Reply)
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2233376
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:49,
Reply)
Yeah but you have just read it soooo Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnereerererereeeeeeeeeeeer
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:50, Reply)
ashe sounds fucking repulsive. Doesn't she realising your daughter is suffering too?(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:06, Reply)
We won the rugby and I got to wrestle with a 15 month old both last night and this morning before worksI don't think my day could be improved a further 10% without the world falling off it's axis.
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:06, Reply)
My Welsh mate was in a sorry state today(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:08,
Reply)
Don't forget Scotland losing. It's nearly as good as England winning.
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:09, Reply)
See, they lost to the French, so that's a bad thing.There is a very clear heirachy to how the six nations ought to finish each year and it goes:
England
Italy
Ireland
Scotland
France
Wales
with the above you can work out exactly who you should be supporting in any given match.
Even next Sunday I won't be sad if Ireland win because they will be beating the French and it's englands fault for losing to les bleu that we wouldn't win the cup.
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:11, Reply)
I get irritated watching Italy's plucky shitness. It reflects on them as a nation that they are not organised or manly enough to play rugby well.
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:14, Reply)
When it comes to the world cup I have a soft spot for the pacific island nationsand other matches are judged on the quality of the beards present. Canada had some fucking superb ones last world cup.
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:16, Reply)
They can play rugby well sometimes.They beat France a couple of years ago, actually it may have been last year. Yes it was, I remember upsetting my daughter by shouting when the whistle went.
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:15, Reply)
It was last year. They may have won two or three last year. When they win I am only pleased for them because they have shown how shit or lazy the opposition is. More revelling in the defeat than the victory.
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:21, Reply)
I read somewhere about the idea of having a two tier "nations" event with promotion and demotion available between themwhich sounds like a great idea. I would love to give Georgia and Portugal and possibly even Argentina (as most of their internationals play in the northern hemisphere) the chance to get some top flight international rugby under their belts on a more regular basis than just waiting for the world cup
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:23, Reply)
Oh have they?Never mind. Argentina are the southern hemispheres Italy.
(, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:25, Reply)
They all want to hold the ball, but the one who is holding the ball tries to run away and then they all hug(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:43,
Reply)
Or to put it another way: Can someone start a new thread please?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:44,
Reply)
You should ask YM if you don't understand it, I heard she was a hooker.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:44,
Reply)
We've all had a try on her(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:45,
Reply)
No you big silly, you've muddled up her selling her body for sex with a position in the sport of rugby football!!Edit: check 'em
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:45,
Reply)
DID UR MUM PLAY FOOT BALL CUZ I HERD SHEZ A RIGHT WINGER*STRIKETHU W ADD M LOL*
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:46,
Reply)
It being Wednesday afternoon.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:15,
Reply)
Yuo nede a spelin allowence(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Mar 2014, 15:45,
Reply)
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