Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Thread with actual questions needed I feelDream job. Go.
Alt: Job I could actually do vis-a-vis my unique (ie very, very sparse) skill-set.
AltAlt: Perfect occupation for any other b3tan of your choice
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:18, 96 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
I actually watched a programme in which some bloke was being trained up as a butcherand it made me feel genuinely ill.
So no. But thanks for the thought!
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:21, Reply)
Could you try manning the fuck up and getting over your squeamishness?(, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:34, Reply)
A couple of weeks work experience in an abattoir should toughen him up(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:39,
Reply)
Why would I want to do that?The only reason I could think of to do so is if I actually wanted to be a butcher, and I don't
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:42, Reply)
My dream job would be 'doing nothing'Alt: PPI claims handler, that's what 100% of off of the topics homosexuals do.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:22,
Reply)
I'd like to be a prison governor, but the money is shit. Alternatively I'd like to be CEO of a charity. Alt: Fluffer.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:23,
Reply)
We need to be released from the shackles of employment and free to explore our minds, to learn and to createAlt: The next paid employment you are offered. Let's not be fussy here.
Altalt: Nakers - my personal glans cleaner.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:29,
Reply)
Funnily enough that's exactly what I was planning to dowhat I'm trying to work out is what to apply for in the first place
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:31, Reply)
Sorry, the offer is only open to Nakers(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:31,
Reply)
i really like my jobbut i'd also like time to write shitcoms and other things. my dream job would be my job 3 days a week, and 2 days a week to write and spend time with the BUDGIE.
alt: ballroom dancing teacher.
altalt: battered would look great sitting by a pond with a fishing rod in his hand.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:30,
Reply)
I have not heard enough about this budgie. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 May 2014, 9:31,
Reply)
It's a euphemism for frog wearing his swimming trunks(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:32,
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it's very baby and fluffehit's yellow and grey
it's called lemmy
it started to get much more friendly and noisy this morning
it's possibly the only pet that is gayer than your dogs, which is why frog chose it!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:42,
Reply)
His favourite song is 'Break 'em off some' by Cypress Hill(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:44,
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he was dancing to blurred lines this morningi was singing "you know you want it, but you're a good bird" at him. he liked it.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:44,
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Have you played him the theme from Diff'rent Strokes?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:46,
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Well, that's not weird. Although I regularly talk to and fight with my tiny Gay dogs, so I won't judge.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 May 2014, 9:46,
Reply)
Please don't sing to him, you'll make him sad.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:46,
Reply)
nah, he loves it when you sing to him (well maybe not you, as you sound like a tomcat being garrotted by knicker elastic)he sings along and bobs a bit
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:55,
Reply)
Maybe you should stop trying to get your gunt on his face when he's trying to singthen he wouldn't be garroted by the knicker elastic.
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:59, Reply)
Are you sure this isn't a cry for help like Frank? (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 May 2014, 9:45,
Reply)
Well, I'm here for you big guy. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 May 2014, 9:46,
Reply)
I wonder what happened to Frank. He's probably dead now.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 May 2014, 9:48,
Reply)
I think he returned and departed again a few weeks ago(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:50,
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The only thing that would make you look good would be 48 hours of liposuction and a balaclava. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:31,
Reply)
Eating a dessert just after lipo would be counter productive(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:44,
Reply)
Oh I sayTop corner. The keeper was never going to reach it.
Congrats on last night's result by the way mate
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:46, Reply)
\o/Me and Lighty were conversing on FB
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 May 2014, 10:00,
Reply)
He must be shitting himselfIf they lose on Saturday and Ricky "The Goal Machine" Van Wolfswinkel sticks 17 past Arsenal, thereby taking his total for the season to 18, West Brom are down.
That sentence gets more likely each time you read it.
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 10:03, Reply)
Million to one shots happen 9 times out of 10(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 May 2014, 10:05,
Reply)
I think I told you you would be alright a month or so back When it was looking very grim
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 10:05, Reply)
Form team of the division at the momentA Sunderland win and Man City winning against West Ham leaves us 12th after being bottom at Christmas.
All aboard the Gus bus!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 May 2014, 10:08,
Reply)
I knew they'd be OK as soon as Norwich lost to West BromSunderland have done bloody well but City shot themselves in both feet and the face
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 10:08, Reply)
The guy that makes the fake cum for those weird lesbian fake cock porn videos. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 May 2014, 9:30,
Reply)
I'm not sure he's cut out for full-time employment(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:31,
Reply)
Couldn't do itPart time might be OK but I don't have the confidence in my ability to do it all day every day. Plus the money is crap unless you're a professional
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:32, Reply)
Winona Ryder's suitor.Alt: fine art photographer
Altalt: street sweepers, all of you.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:30,
Reply)
I was briefly a cleaner. Easiest job I ever had. But then, I didn't do it properly.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 May 2014, 9:38,
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Is she still attractive?1990 seems a long time ago now
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:40,
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Full-time Luthier - always wanted to make acoustic guitarsAlt: I really like my job as it is. I could do quite a lot of stuff with my technical training, not sure I'd like to go back to the Gas Turbine industry though - maybe in a power station somewhere.
Altalt. Dozer as a leper's perineal boil sucker
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:37, Reply)
Have you considered putting yourself forward for clinical trials? (
Muns, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:40,
Reply)
I didBut they said they'd finished animal trials and were looking for humans to trial the drugs.
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:43, Reply)
That's actually not a bad ideaI could find out that my body's ability to resist the dangerously high levels of gay surging through it makes me some kind of crap Wolverine
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:43, Reply)
I was chitting YM only last night(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:58,
Reply)
My dream job would be something like a pilot or a model makerAlt:
Surely as a telecomms type worker there are many other jobs out there
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:47,
Reply)
Aye there will beI'm not so much worried about being out of work, I just don't want to end up in another job I don't like, and having a deadline on this one gives me the impetus to think about what I want to be when I grow up
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:52, Reply)
Yeah but you could take any job for the time being until you know(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:58,
Reply)
That's what I'll end up doing probablyJust want to actually put some thought into it while I have chance. Everybody is going to be coasting until we find out anyway
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 10:01, Reply)
RectalJust make sure the doctor only ever has one hand on your shoulder at a time.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 May 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
Open University module in European History, 1400-1900Not ALL of it, obviously
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 10:12, Reply)
STOP THE INTERNETThis is easily the best answer anyone is going to give today.
I'd want autonomy to tell Tess Daly she's shit though.
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:54, Reply)
I need to confess that I now find her hotSorry everyone
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:57,
Reply)
She is hot, although she's married beneath herself in every possible respectShe's just shit at live TV, she can't go off-script
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:59, Reply)
Alt: Form a partnership with Battered, like a 21st century version of these two
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:49,
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The possibility of successfully getting him into that costume is approximately three thousand seven hundred and twenty to one(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 May 2014, 9:59,
Reply)
Never tell me the oddsMaybe I could set up a bookies with that as the slogan. Add an extra element of chance to gambling.
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 10:00, Reply)
Always let the bookiee win? (
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 May 2014, 10:02,
Reply)
I am a touch warmLovely day today up here
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 May 2014, 10:07,
Reply)
Get fuckedYou lot get more than us. There are currently people outside our office pointing at the strange yellow thing (and I dont mean Gok Wan)
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 May 2014, 10:09,
Reply)
Breast inspectorAlt. Quiz show host
AltAlt Professional wanker
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Peej, Thu 8 May 2014, 10:07,
Reply)
Man I would LOVE to be a quiz show hostAs long as I got to call people mongs for getting things wrong
(, Thu 8 May 2014, 10:11, Reply)
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