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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So, anything made you do contented little squeaks recently?
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 10:47,
160 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
YM
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 10:47,
Reply)
Try using more lube
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 16 May 2014, 10:49,
Reply)
yer
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 16 May 2014, 10:49,
Reply)
going to that kebab place twice this week has been both a highlight and a delight
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 May 2014, 10:51,
Reply)
Which one?
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 10:52,
Reply)
that best mangal turkish place that monty likes
he comes home laden with grilled meats and chilli peppers. gross.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 10:52,
Reply)
it's awesome and my favourite place
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 May 2014, 10:53,
Reply)
'Best Mangal'
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 May 2014, 10:53,
Reply)

(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 10:53,
Reply)
\o/
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 10:59,
Reply)
I got a local kabab place that I reckon can go toe-to-toe with needos/tayabs.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:13,
Reply)
A persistent squeak can be your hamster's way of saying, “Back off.”
He may do this when around other hamsters or, if he's new to your home, may do this when you try to pick him up. If your hamster is new, socialization is key to making your hamster feel calm. Once socialized, there's less of a chance that your hamster will squeak out of annoyance. If he does, pay attention because he doesn't like something you're doing. Look for signs of annoyance, such as puffing up or hissing.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 10:52,
Reply)
If a hamster does that shit, you should kick it across the room to show it who's boss
(
Muns, Fri 16 May 2014, 10:54,
Reply)
Can of petrol, box of matches, trebuchet.
/ac.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 10:57,
Reply)
Flamin' galaah
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 10:59,
Reply)
Chop, blend, add sugar and water, simmer for 5 hours, cool, bury in garden, hey presto - tulips.
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:02,
Reply)
oh dear
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:03,
Reply)
alright psychochomp, nice google skillz
Great to have you back m8.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 16 May 2014, 10:55,
Reply)
excuse me, i actually had a hamster once
so it's not just smoke pouring out of my ass
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:20,
Reply)
you had psychochomp's cheesy cock in your mouth once
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:23,
Reply)
Unexpected honeycomb club biscuit joy
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 10:58,
Reply)
I made honeycomb once. Ruined an expensive saucepan. Never again.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:00,
Reply)
Being offered a job yesterday made me emit a contented little noise.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 May 2014, 11:05,
Reply)
Good stuff. I haven't forgotten to gaz you about probate - will do so later.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:07,
Reply)
No worries.
I'm about to get ready to go for another interview at lunchtime - longer contract and better pay than the one I've been offered.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 May 2014, 11:08,
Reply)
Yey! Dare I ask if it's full time/permanent?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:09,
Reply)
Temporary full time until end of July, initially.
But it's in the NHS so I'd get access to internal vacancies - I'll be taking over from someone who got promoted.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 May 2014, 11:10,
Reply)
Woop!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:13,
Reply)
Oh
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:11,
Reply)
Better than nothing!
Although constant temporary contracts are beginning to make filling in the employment history bit of applications an utter pain in the arse.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 May 2014, 11:20,
Reply)
:))))))))))))))))
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:22,
Reply)
Once I get this probate thing sorted I'm bloody well visiting London with the missus.
It's been way too long.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 May 2014, 11:23,
Reply)
Get it on the calendar and invite us all
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:24,
Reply)
I don't know how long the probate thing will take, so until then it shall remain a distant promise.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 May 2014, 11:24,
Reply)
Last one I had to do took nine months.
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Kroney, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:26,
Reply)
I've been told it can take a while in some cases.
Fortunately there's no property to sell as he sold his house a couple of years ago, and everything seems pretty straightforward.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 May 2014, 11:28,
Reply)
I did one that didn't involve a property and it took about 2 months IIRC. It was a modest estate - about £40k in cash, nothing else.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:28,
Reply)
Similar. Just bank accounts and a couple of investments.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 May 2014, 11:29,
Reply)
You can pay a solicitor to do it & recover the costs from the estate. I didn't as I'm tight.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:30,
Reply)
I've been quoted over two grand.
Fuck that.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 May 2014, 11:31,
Reply)
That's a lot for what is basically a lot of official letter writing and a short court visit.
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:34,
Reply)
That's what I thought.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 May 2014, 11:36,
Reply)
I don't recall having to go to court.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:39,
Reply)
It can do, that one was complicated by Australia.
My dad's took closer to five, I think.
(
Kroney, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:29,
Reply)
My invitation to put you up still stands.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:27,
Reply)
Ta.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 May 2014, 11:28,
Reply)
Be warned though, he has a habit of leering over other men's wives
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:29,
Reply)
It's OK, he's met the missus and is well aware that she only has eyes for me!
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 May 2014, 11:30,
Reply)
I have had the pleasure of meeting her on several occasions. Top bird.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:31,
Reply)
ov und
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:31,
Reply)
YES!
you can stay at mine so more money for beer!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:49,
Reply)
I'm going to cry with joy when I get home and crawl into bed again.
The mrs and I went out last night and I'm hungover from an embarrassingly small amount of alcohol.
(
Kroney, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:08,
Reply)
Beer mouse
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:09,
Reply)
I blame the antibiotics that I'm probably still coming off maybe
(
Kroney, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:09,
Reply)
Mini Aler
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:13,
Reply)
With one exception antibiotics don't make alcohol more effective
The one exception being one that will make you vomit. You as just a tart
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:10,
Reply)
Amateur.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:10,
Reply)
She drank me under the table.
She's a third of my size.
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Kroney, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:11,
Reply)
Size has nothing to do with your ability to handle booze.
I can drink most of the cunts on here under the table.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:13,
Reply)
^has a liver with the consistency of mousse.
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Kroney, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:16,
Reply)
So would you if you could keep up with the adults.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:19,
Reply)
I'd say it has a little to do with it.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:20,
Reply)
So how come I can match Stunned pint for pint all night?
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:21,
Reply)
because he started at 9am
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:21,
Reply)
Ha!
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:22,
Reply)
Because you have built up a tolerance through many years of heavy drinking.
Also, you are short, not slight - your BMI is probably higher than mine, even though I'm five or six inches taller.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:22,
Reply)
you're only five foot seven?
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:25,
Reply)
Another fucking pintpot.
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Kroney, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:25,
Reply)
do you get to say "only" about something that's 2 inches taller than you are?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:27,
Reply)
yes
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:31,
Reply)
I doubt he'll see 50
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:26,
Reply)
It's a miracle he's made 40
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:26,
Reply)
^ this
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:29,
Reply)
IQ points?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:27,
Reply)
Nonce^
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:14,
Reply)
Widthways, not heightwise.
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Kroney, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:15,
Reply)
This^
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:12,
Reply)
is it lunchtime yet?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:24,
Reply)
I'm a little concerned that you are not devoting enough of your time to my friends, your clients
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:25,
Reply)
devolting?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:27,
Reply)
yourn devolting biscuit boy
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:28,
Reply)
Are you ok?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:29,
Reply)
ireading on a tiny blackberry screen
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:32,
Reply)
Lowering their potential
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:29,
Reply)
I have a can of coke :)
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Kroney, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:25,
Reply)
someone here is leaving and filled the teapoint with m&s goodies like mini marshmallow teacakes and those little chocolate covered swiss rolls with caramel or strawberry jam inside
the bitch
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:26,
Reply)
Won't that block the tap?
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:30,
Reply)
They'll haver get a decent brew out of it
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:46,
Reply)
I'm having the banana chocolates
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:36,
Reply)
i was hoping you'd forget about those so lusty and i could accidentally eat them tonight
are they nice?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:46,
Reply)
I nearly forgot but knew if I left them I wouldn't get any. And yes, they're nice.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:51,
Reply)
^^euphemism for anal sex
(
Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 16 May 2014, 12:09,
Reply)
I might get pizza
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:29,
Reply)
I'm starving. I might eat fish fingers with micro in a bit.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:32,
Reply)
do you cook them sous vide?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:37,
Reply)
Nah, they don't crisp up if you do them like that. I'll use a salamander instead.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:38,
Reply)
axolotol trouble to go to just for fish fingers
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:05,
Reply)
Ttj
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:13,
Reply)
Have chips instead.
(
Muns, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:38,
Reply)
microchips
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:45,
Reply)
ah that takes me back: patented university hangover cure
box of mccain micro chips, micro for 2 mins longer than it says, so they go really crispy when they cool
thick sliced white bread, thickly sliced with butter
layer with strong cheddar slices
pour on chips
pour on salt and vinegar
pour on pesto or sweet chilli or cracked black pepper mayo (because you can take the girl out of cheshire)
consume. either repeat or vomit.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:48,
Reply)
ha!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:49,
Reply)
secretly
you could totally go for one of those right now. yes?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:54,
Reply)
Publicly I could
but without pesto/sweet chilli/mayo
Dont contaminate a cheesy chip butty
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:55,
Reply)
nonononono
those things are all different flavours of mayo!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:21,
Reply)
Pesto?
Well posh student.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:00,
Reply)
I went to a comedy gig in Notting Hill last night, because my mate was doing a turn.
It was full of wanker bankers and their ghastly drunken wives. It positively reeked of classless wealth and expected privilege - the crowd were vile - absolutely vile.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:27,
Reply)
jealous^
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:29,
Reply)
The women were all 40+, dripping in expensive bling, and caked in make-up. They talked incessantly throughout it, convinced that they were funnier than the comedians.
One of the comedians joke about living in Brixton, and asked what people thought of Brixton. There was a pause, and then one of them said REALLY patronisingly "This is Notting Hill, darling - we don't go to Brixton!"
Ugh. Horrid, horrid, horrid.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:37,
Reply)
hahaha
She's got a point thgough brixton is ghastly
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:41,
Reply)
I absolutely agree.
But they were genuinely ... "Oh you ghastly prole!" types. I mean, proper, actual, Alan B'Stard territory, except not funny.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:47,
Reply)
both brixton and notting hill are ghastly
in their own ways
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:47,
Reply)
I don't understand why people are so impressed with Notting Hill. It's full of social housing and every year 30,000 coons decend for a weekend.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:49,
Reply)
Just nearly snorted my coffee.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:50,
Reply)
Social housing keeps me employed
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:51,
Reply)
employed housed
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:52,
Reply)
Hardly
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:53,
Reply)
^ homeless
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:57,
Reply)
Two homes
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:59,
Reply)
^ Sherrif Fatman
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:59,
Reply)
Sherrif
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:07,
Reply)
^ shops at Jacamo ^
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:13,
Reply)
I have no idea what that is, sorry
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:13,
Reply)
if you don't know london, it seems supercool
if you do, you realise it's full of pricks.
it's ok for a nice walk or if you have visitors who want to ooooh over the pretty coloured houses and market, but that's IT.
that being said, there are some fucking nice restaurants and pubs lurking around the outskirts, if you know where to look.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:53,
Reply)
About the only thing I know about London is that it's full of pricks.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:55,
Reply)
Foreigners and pricks, ackshully.
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Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 16 May 2014, 12:11,
Reply)
soz
This sums it up.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ADNrixt6NA
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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:17,
Reply)
I'm not clicking that.
It might be a UKIP campaign film.
(
Muns, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:42,
Reply)
On the plus side, you get to see the police beat the shit out of them.
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Kroney, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:54,
Reply)
^working class snob
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Kroney, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:41,
Reply)
'the working class can kiss my arse, I've got the bosses job at last'.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:43,
Reply)
^ Running dog of the capitalist pigs
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:47,
Reply)
they are the worst kind
Their bitter jealous leaks from every tabacco stained pore
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:03,
Reply)
I've had somebody call me up about a job I've applied to.
But I can't remember which one it was.
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Kroney, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:11,
Reply)
Yes yes I absolutely want the job, I just can't quite remember what it is...hello? Hello?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:21,
Reply)
We should round 'em all up and send them to the tacky, cutural vortex in which they belong.
Dubai.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:51,
Reply)
Anyone who uses the word 'vile' is probably a hat-wearing, wank biscuit-eating, irono-prick.
Soz.
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Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 16 May 2014, 12:12,
Reply)
Vagabond then.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:15,
Reply)
TTJ
(
Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 16 May 2014, 12:17,
Reply)
it's the way you tell them
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:18,
Reply)
Do try to keep up Jaysum
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:18,
Reply)
bit harsh
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:21,
Reply)
yer, on jay
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:22,
Reply)
now look here, this bullying has gone too far this time
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:24,
Reply)
Are you going to cry to a forum moderator?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:25,
Reply)
I've gazzed swipe, she'll ground you for a week
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:26,
Reply)
You fucking little grass!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:27,
Reply)
kiss my balls
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:27,
Reply)
you haven't got any
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:29,
Reply)
my sack is empty
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:30,
Reply)

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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:30,
Reply)
How rare
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:46,
Reply)
You fucked a zebra?
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 16 May 2014, 11:59,
Reply)
until he was hoarse
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 May 2014, 12:07,
Reply)
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