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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I've just had a call from "BBC Three call centre" trying to sell me life insurance.
What have I kissed this week in a nutshell.
You didn't even notice I'd gone did you?
*runs off crying*
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:45, 204 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
I'd take a guess at "Man Cock"

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:47, Reply)
As opposed to "Lady Cock"?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:47, Reply)
yer

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:58, Reply)
Hm.
I think we need to have a chat.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:01, Reply)
Don't be daft Sporters
He only sees his BF at weekends, so he's probably not had a cock in his mouth since Sunday. The poor dear.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:05, Reply)
hah

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:11, Reply)
Sorry ... what?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:47, Reply)
Where are you having trouble dear?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:48, Reply)
Second line onwards.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:00, Reply)
is that a euphemism for teabagging??

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:48, Reply)
isn't teabagging a euphemism for teabagging?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:48, Reply)
It literally means
"teabagging"
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:06, Reply)
double dip

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:15, Reply)

i.imgur.com/zusEa1x.jpg
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:36, Reply)
you don't need life assurance
HTH
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:51, Reply)
I kissed an actual lady on Wednesday
it was nice, I've resolved to do it more often.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:51, Reply)
gay

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:56, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:58, Reply)
Which one are you again?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:51, Reply)
he's one of Battered's numerous sockpuppets

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:52, Reply)

s c
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:53, Reply)
I only have one spare account.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:55, Reply)
One spare account high-fives.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:57, Reply)
we all are

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:57, Reply)
They're getting fucking revenge for all of the automated messages telling them they're entitled to up to £20,000 from the fucking TSB!

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:52, Reply)
Why's a tv channel trying to sell you life insurance?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:55, Reply)
And I'm going to guess that you kissed your bicep whilst inviting people to "the gun show"

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:57, Reply)
haha!

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 14:59, Reply)
The call Centre is a "reality" show on BBC 3

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:14, Reply)
So why would a tv show be calling you?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:16, Reply)
Look, I think it's time to just stop asking questions, and just accept the fact that for once, you're the one being a bit thick here.
Which, considering you're talking to Jason, is a real surprise for all of us.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:19, Reply)
\o/

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:20, Reply)
So are the planning on filming in Jason's call centre?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:20, Reply)
No, a call centre featured on a reality show on TV,
Called Jasons call centre to set up some sort of inter-call centre singles night.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:29, Reply)
TO SELL ME INSURANCE

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:20, Reply)
Since when has the bbc sold life assurance?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:22, Reply)
LOOK IM JUST REPEATING WHAT HE SAID OK?!

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:29, Reply)
I don't think the BBC have any regulatory permission to advise on or arrange insurance contracts.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:28, Reply)
Your own breasts, fatso!

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:00, Reply)
the mayors ass goodbye?
#idbuythatforadollar
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:02, Reply)
Some sort of trophy for being the fattest, baldest queer?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:04, Reply)
Matt Lucas lols

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:06, Reply)
Not since he left Vic Reeves, no

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:13, Reply)
I'm going for a pint soon.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:08, Reply)
That seems a remarkably good idea

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:12, Reply)
thirded

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:13, Reply)
Doesn't it?
I'm also going to go see a band tomorrow night, the lead singer of which has one of the biggest pair of tits I've ever witnessed. I am going for the music, honest.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:17, Reply)
Bad Manners are still going?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:21, Reply)
Right Said Fred

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:23, Reply)
*shifts the so-and-so*

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:27, Reply)
I'm off to the pub now for a celebratory pint.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:28, Reply)
Enjoy!

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:28, Reply)
I shall.
Confirmation of job has just come through, so it's well earned, I think.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:29, Reply)
It certainly seems that way, yes

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:30, Reply)
This is all getting a bit too gay.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:29, Reply)
What do you expect from a Jason thread?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:30, Reply)
^
*throws glitter*
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:38, Reply)
The smell of baby oil and shame.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:45, Reply)
*One end each and steady as she goes LOLs*

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:35, Reply)
I bet you went to some sort of horrid sea side town with your best mates to large it up with some apple sourz and a cock sucking competition.
You disgusting queer.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:12, Reply)
omg i'm 16 again

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:17, Reply)
+ stone

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:18, Reply)
Had she lost weight?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:20, Reply)
Someone's in love!!

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:23, Reply)
Bollocks. I meant "missed"

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:13, Reply)
Do all the replies make sense now?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:14, Reply)
Yes :)
I was a bit lost
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:16, Reply)
You are here

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:28, Reply)
Haha

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:28, Reply)
CLOSED.
Men at work
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:29, Reply)
I have been asleep-ish

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:16, Reply)
Still got your phone and your wallet?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:18, Reply)
Yes but I'm missing a kidney, an ear and a ball

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:19, Reply)
Hitler.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:20, Reply)
Have you been outside yet?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:21, Reply)
I've been outside loads today.
And on the van with the windows down, which totally counts.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:27, Reply)
I'll have a 99 please

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:29, Reply)
Teenwolf

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:29, Reply)
I need a nap

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:30, Reply)
I've just had one
Hthxx
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:30, Reply)
I think I might be dying

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:33, Reply)
You need to either start drinking more or stop drinking

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:36, Reply)
You fucking pussy

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:36, Reply)
bit rude

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:38, Reply)
French tart

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:40, Reply)
Out-boozed by a slip of a girl.
It's a fucking tragedy. I should be getting a damned sight more sympathy than I am.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:42, Reply)
Its quarter to four and you still have a hangover
What did you drink last night?
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:42, Reply)
A bottle and a half of red.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:42, Reply)
Amateur

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:44, Reply)
Over how many hours?
One?
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:44, Reply)
4 or 5 :(

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:45, Reply)
Oh man that's bad

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:46, Reply)
I know, pretty hardcore.
No wonder I'm so ruined.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:47, Reply)
+ diesel

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:59, Reply)
Lucozade

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:39, Reply)
too tired. I'm just goin to flop around uselessly until I'm sent home.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:41, Reply)
Just like your missus on sexy time night
Ahahaha
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:42, Reply)
Like a drowning salmon

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:48, Reply)
Mtfu.
Thecard reader in my juicer, took my pin number as my amount charged. Two beers, should have been 6.20 Amount gone through, just north of 80.quid. No fucking apologies, just a hehehe. Whoops. Fucking knobs.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:31, Reply)
he loves a man up him

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:32, Reply)
NDITB

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:39, Reply)
You need to stay there until you've drunk £80s worth now

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:36, Reply)
Fancy a pint?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:47, Reply)
Of course I do!

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:54, Reply)
Have you a credit card please?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:57, Reply)
"Put it on Docs tab please"

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:59, Reply)
So you just whack your pin in without looking?
Bit irresponsible isn't it? You doctors get paid too much if that's how easily you throw cash around.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:38, Reply)
You must have entered your PIN in twice for this to happen. Why? And why didn't you check the amount as per the on screen instructions?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:38, Reply)
How is that even possible?
Legally it's your fault, you're supposed to check the amount before putting in your PIN number
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:39, Reply)
Shenever entered the amount.
So the first enter was the amount, second was the pin. I always check the amount, usually, but I sduppose you can get a bit lax in your local.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:41, Reply)
So you entered your pin in the amount box, pressed enter, entered your pin again, pressed enter after not seeing £80 on the screen, and it's everyone's fault but yours?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:43, Reply)
His PIN is 8000

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:45, Reply)
That's amazing! I've got the same combination on my luggage!

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:49, Reply)
So at least we know his pin starts 80

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:45, Reply)
HE'S NOT EVEN A REAL DOCTOR.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:45, Reply)
I'm glad you agree. I've got the cash back, and free beer, so it's allgood.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:45, Reply)
'You are a fucking idiot'

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:47, Reply)
xx

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:48, Reply)
I know I shouldn't have to tell an educated doctor like yourself
But maybe in future look at the amount on screen before entering your pin
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:39, Reply)
If you're not capable of spotting the difference between 6.20 and 80 when it's waved in front of your face
I'm not sure you ought to be in control of peoples' medicines.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:40, Reply)
You're telling me to man up and you can't even tell a till monkey he is wrong?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:40, Reply)
Also: Mug.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:40, Reply)
Sorry doc
It seems the internet has spoken
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:41, Reply)
Well, this is certainly going well for you so far.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:41, Reply)
Sympathetic crowd in here
I should know
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:44, Reply)
God knows it's lucky doctors don't need basic observation ability.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:48, Reply)
I bet people fucking love coming to you for methodone prescriptions.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:41, Reply)
Hahaha

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:45, Reply)
Gaz me for these please.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:47, Reply)
put your Motorola Startac away, please.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:46, Reply)
my friend did this
he inadvertently paid something stupid like £3k. he shat fucking hot bricks until it came back into his account about 3 days later.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:48, Reply)
I nearly did this but when it asked me to enter my pin a second time and I saw my pin on the screen as the amount I smacked cancel and voided the transaction.
Cool story, etc.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:48, Reply)
This is what normal people would do.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:48, Reply)
Us meds are a cut above the proles though.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:52, Reply)
You are either the greatest troll ever, or a complete mental retard.
I know which one I'm betting on.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:54, Reply)
He makes me look like Einstein.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:55, Reply)
He makes me think you're twins.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:55, Reply)
Love the sig btw
jam hot.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:35, Reply)
FUCK YOU JAYSON

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:55, Reply)
oh lol

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:58, Reply)
This is why you are made to eat outside from a plastic plate.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:51, Reply)
fucking lol.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:52, Reply)
Yeah, probably frog.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:53, Reply)
Good thing your gran wasn't born on the 99th of December.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 17:28, Reply)
I'm listening to some Chris Liberator now.
It is nice.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:56, Reply)
I'm watching Captain America - Winter Soldier thingy

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 15:59, Reply)
I'm still in the pub.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:01, Reply)
What have you put on the jukebox?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:03, Reply)
His pint.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:06, Reply)
Eighty quid.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:08, Reply)
Tiny Dancer

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:11, Reply)
Why the fuck do people go outside a pub to 'smoke' electric cigarettes? Pricks.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:12, Reply)
I got told off for using mine in a pub last week

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:14, Reply)
you get told off for using it ALLTHE TIME
you ignore such tellings off ALL THE TIME
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:17, Reply)
Take this sort of bollocks offline thanks.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:18, Reply)
No one is forcing you to read it
/ac
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:20, Reply)
take YOUR bollocks offline

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:38, Reply)
He plans to
Didn't you see the earlier post
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:49, Reply)
good point
i would say good for all mankind, but he actually seems to make exceptionally lovely children, so perhaps not.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:58, Reply)

go outside a pub to electric
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:15, Reply)
That will be the legal nicotine addiction
Hths
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:28, Reply)
Yeah, being addicted to stuff is brilliant as long as it's legal.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:31, Reply)
Innit though

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:32, Reply)
Cold turkey is the way of heroes.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:16, Reply)
Tell that to the miners

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:28, Reply)
Bootiful

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:34, Reply)
Nicely done.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:36, Reply)
Oh God, somebody kill me. It'll be kinder than this waking hell.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:40, Reply)
Get a pint

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:42, Reply)
I've got to drive back to my flat and pack up the car again :((((

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:43, Reply)
Pay someone you povvo

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:47, Reply)
We're paying to do the joint move
from the Doris's to the new place. From mine to the Doris's is manual labour only.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:55, Reply)
this all sounds terribly inefficient and a bit French

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:55, Reply)
We're moving from to places to one in a staggered system.
I have to be out by the 23rd, but we're not moving until June. Just the way it's gotta be.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:56, Reply)
Get a pint

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:48, Reply)
^
I've got one!
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:50, Reply)
sadly not with me though : (

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:52, Reply)
You wouldn't like this pub

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:57, Reply)
because it's in cov or because you're there?

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:57, Reply)
Yes.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:58, Reply)
which bit of Cov do you live in..I'm guessing somewhere on Walsgrave Road

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 17:00, Reply)
Get cans.
They're portable.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:49, Reply)
He might spill it

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:54, Reply)
cans are for payday

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:58, Reply)
fuck. good point.
get bottles.
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 17:36, Reply)
I ma now at home and have put some beers in the freezer : )
But having drunk nothing bar a black coffee this morning I feel a little odd
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:52, Reply)
Stella time soon
24 bottles at home
(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:53, Reply)
San Miguel over here

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:54, Reply)
It'll be a cup of tea and a 9pm bedtime for me.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:55, Reply)
bit gay^

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:56, Reply)
don't forget to wash your vagina before bed.

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 17:37, Reply)
*beer fives*

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:57, Reply)
Stella is not a good drink

(, Fri 16 May 2014, 16:59, Reply)

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