That's a silly question
cphpost.dk/news/museum-selling-viking-ships-to-the-public.9692.html

If I lived near the coast I'd quite fancy one of those. Bit impractical in a 2nd floor flat though. What thing do you want but would be impractical?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:29, 87 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

A moat.
Like you - a bit impractical for a 2nd floor flat.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:33, Reply)

Ferrari F40

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:34, Reply)

Nothing impractical about that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:35, Reply)

Bit impractical in a 2nd floor flat though.

( Muns, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:35, Reply)

You just need to accelerate more

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)

Bit tricky to get the whole family plus holiday luggage in, though.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:39, Reply)

Does sound like a better holiday though

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:39, Reply)

tggi

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:42, Reply)

I might have one of those!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:35, Reply)

A conservatory.
Bit impractical in a 2nd floor flat though.
( Muns, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:35, Reply)

I managed to string a cold caller selling conservatories along for a while before telling her I lived in a 1st floor flat

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)

Had they never heard of stilts?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:37, Reply)

We managed to get someone to come out to ours to discuss designs.
He wasn't best pleased.
( Muns, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:37, Reply)

Hahahahahahaha

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:38, Reply)

Excellent work
My old phone number must either have been the Port of Sunderlands one or near enough to it. I'd get in from work and find 10 voicemails from Capt. Soandso asking where to park his ship
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:39, Reply)

That's just a euphemism, they were calling YM

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:42, Reply)

Possibly
I had to change my number in the end
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:43, Reply)

A 4th floor flat
Bit impractical in a 2nd floor flat though
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:38, Reply)

hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:40, Reply)

Unless your designer is Escher

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:40, Reply)

In my top 5 MCs

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:41, Reply)

A nice big pair of breasts
*awaits Broadsword*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:39, Reply)

Bit impractical in a 2nd floor flat though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:42, Reply)

Depends on the breasts
and the architectural design of said 2nd floor flat
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:42, Reply)

A firemans pole to the floor below.
Bit impractical in a 2nd floor flat though.
( Muns, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:39, Reply)

You tell Ray Stantz that

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:42, Reply)

I ain't afraid of no 1st floor flat

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:43, Reply)

But the person in the flat below is called Julie?

( Muns, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:44, Reply)

A cellar.
Bit impractical in a second floor flat though.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:41, Reply)

An underground lair
Bit impractical in an 2nd floor flat though.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:41, Reply)

Doesn't have to be at home

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:42, Reply)

Bit impractical if it wasn't

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:42, Reply)

A tunnel under the thames.
Bit impractical in a second floor flat though.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:43, Reply)

An indoor pool.
Bit impractical in a 2nd floor flat though.
( Muns, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:43, Reply)

Get an outdoor one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:44, Reply)

Whoever heard of an outdoor flat?!

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:07, Reply)

Bit impractical getting onto the second floor.

( Muns, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:10, Reply)

A life-size indoor Scalextrix circuit of Silverstone with all the stands full of highly excitable page 3 stunnahs
Bit impractical in a 2nd floor flat though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:45, Reply)

I dunno though
might have to compromise a smidge on the life-size.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:48, Reply)

ah ed
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:08, Reply)

i can't stop laughing at this image

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:09, Reply)

lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:11, Reply)

Proper answers:
Aston Martin, man-cave, orchard
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:00, Reply)

All of these are impractical in a second floor flat.

( Muns, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:04, Reply)

wings

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:09, Reply)

Bit impractical in a second floor half flat.

( Muns, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:10, Reply)

I'd like a second floor flat.
God only knows what it would do to my Ferrari.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:10, Reply)

Half a flat

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:11, Reply)

On which floor?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:12, Reply)

2 1/2 floor

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:14, Reply)

mezzanine

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:14, Reply)

Blue Lines

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:15, Reply)

Much more consistent album
but suffers from an excess of Tricky
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:22, Reply)

i'd like something that is both practical and non practical
a new RS6
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:14, Reply)

I've always wanted a house with grounds big enough
that when someone came to the door I could say "release the hounds" and actually release some hounds
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:21, Reply)

dozer does this but with hamsters
he drops his pants, bends over and farts violently
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:23, Reply)

A non-violent fart is not a fart worthy of the name

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:24, Reply)

There should be an element of danger to a fart

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:26, Reply)

Not sure "Release the flock of pigeons" has the same deterrent effect though

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:27, Reply)

You haven't smelled my pigeons

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:29, Reply)

We have, mate
We all remember Sellafield.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:31, Reply)

Smellafield more like

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:32, Reply)

A house with two sets of stairs that goes to the same floors.
That's how you know you've made it big in this world.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:28, Reply)

parents have that, main stairs and servant stairs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:30, Reply)

Do they still have servants?

( Muns, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:34, Reply)

sadly not

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:35, Reply)

Good to know your kids won't lack for job options though

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:38, Reply)

actually, you're free and witha little growth your hair could be classic slicked down butler...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:39, Reply)

Is that the only qualification required?
Cos if there are any others, I'm unlikely to meet them
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:40, Reply)

I have that if I come down from the first floor or up from the cellar

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:32, Reply)

Bit impractical in an 2nd floor flat though, etc.

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:33, Reply)

it puts the lotion on it's skin

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:33, Reply)

cos you know, it doesn't want to get sun burn

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:36, Reply)

my friend ali's parents have a stunning house
there is a massive sweeping main staircase, and then a smaller back staircase. as her bedroom is nearer the back staircase, we always ran up that when we were kids and playing at hers.

one day we were playing hide and seek in the dark, and i fell down the hidden third staircase in the dark. yes. THREE staircases. and that's not counting the cellar steps, the steps to the playroom ove over the garage, or the steps up to the attic. surely that's just greedy. think of all those people in bungalows who don't have any.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:39, Reply)

i don't like to think of people in bungalows
they tend to smell of dust and UPVC mock tudor windows
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:42, Reply)

i don't mind them in america
where there is much more land so they aren't so depressing. but over here, they are for old people.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:47, Reply)

By the way your common is showing

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:48, Reply)

i don't even own an common

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 16:35, Reply)

Good way to make money though. My friends spent about £600k on a 4 bed bungalow. Spent £200k on putting another floor on it, refurbishing the downstairs etc.
Current value is over £1m.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:49, Reply)

there is a special name for this...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:51, Reply)

"building"
"renovation"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:59, Reply)

Nice

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:58, Reply)

provided there aren't planning restrictions
sometimes you can't increase the floorplate, and this includes storeys as well as external extension
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 16:34, Reply)

This was in rural Buckinghamshire. No problems apart from a tree protection order

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 16:41, Reply)

Id like world peace and an end to starvation.
Alternatively, a pool. With kids it would be a bit impractical.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 16:11, Reply)

A fourteen foot penis

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 16:40, Reply)

terrible bullying of stunned

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 16:42, Reply)