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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Apparently Rolf sang Jake the Peg at his trial to impress thejury. Ffs. What else seems to be a crap idea in retrospect? Apart from ym?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:29, 121 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
Maybe he should have gone with one they know, like 'Jake The Peg' maybe?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:30, Reply)
Jake the Pake is by far the better song.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:30, Reply)
pake de foie gras

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:35, Reply)
He should have stuck with Thunder Rise.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:31, Reply)
It was in the afternoon though

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:32, Reply)
What else would be a crap idea in retrospect?
Hmm, how about not bothering to read over what your fat, arthritic fingers jerkily mash out on your keypad before hitting "post?"
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:32, Reply)
Tweeting this.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:33, Reply)
Fair point.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:33, Reply)
NOW YOU'VE RUINED THE REPLY COUNT

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:36, Reply)
fucking hell

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:36, Reply)
We will get through this.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:39, Reply)
Imagine what he prescribes to people in error due to his typing. He's probably killed more than Shipman.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:37, Reply)
Don't have to type anything, click snd point innit.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:38, Reply)
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:40, Reply)
^not reading over what his fat fingers have mashed out, here.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:43, Reply)
Greedy cunt had an extra cake

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:33, Reply)
THIS DOESN'T WORK NOW :(((((

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:44, Reply)
NICE EDIT FUCKO

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:36, Reply)
Ty love xx. Love to Lemmy too.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:37, Reply)
THUNDER RISE CAMPING FAX HELICOOTER CATWRING JAKE THE PAKE CYCLING AVE WANKER

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:37, Reply)
clickin dis

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:39, Reply)
haha "helicooter"

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:44, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2294532
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:45, Reply)
Well quite. What indeed is wrong with sangwiches?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:46, Reply)
I don't even have an *indoor* catwring

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:46, Reply)
I missed the quiche chat!
I used to know a bloke who called them 'Egg pie's'. He was fooling no-one though.

What flagrant attempts have you witnessed of people calling things they're not?
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:39, Reply)
Someone on here refers to their ginger hair as brunette.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:40, Reply)
I happen to think my mum was quite a good idea, even in retrospect. I wouldn't be here, otherwise.
Your mum however, now that's an idea I could get on board with.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:41, Reply)
The new building owners have removed the water cooler.
And despite saying they would come and see me, they haven't.

So that's a bit crap.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:41, Reply)
i'm looking at classic beetles on ebay
i'd be in so much trouble if i slapped one onto the new kitchen mortgage. but.... SHINY.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:48, Reply)
Trouble with who?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:49, Reply)
my dad
as it would have to live at his. there's a bright red 19070's ragtop that is about £4,500. drool.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:49, Reply)
Oh, I thought you could get one for yourself and trade in that gay car for one that I can drive and not look like a queer

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:50, Reply)
fuck off
the batmobile stays
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:51, Reply)
I don't recall Bruce Wayne having a naf personalised number plate.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:52, Reply)
you weren't looking closely enaff

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:52, Reply)
Can't you swap it for a cooler AMG silver one?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:55, Reply)
and let you drive it, mr no licence?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:55, Reply)
I just don't have the card bit to hand. Or the paper bit. Apart from that I am good to go.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:56, Reply)
so basically
you don't have a licence.

i'd rather put battered in charge of my liquor fridge.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:57, Reply)
I have a licence, just not the physical manifestation of one.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:57, Reply)
strikethrough "licence" for lolarious results

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:59, Reply)
It's taken me a month to dig out my V5 to send off for the change of address.
By "dig out" I mean "pick up off the back seat".
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:57, Reply)
I haven't seen my driving licence since about 2004

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:58, Reply)
Good job I don't need an updated V5 to take to the council so I can get a proper parking permit
that I've already paid for when my temporary one runs out on Tuesday.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:00, Reply)
In that case it'll be expired soon.
Just wait until you get the ticket to renew it and say you've lost it. They'll not bother charging for the replacement.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:02, Reply)
he's not allowed to do that
we're going to drive around california for a fortnight, and fucked if i'm doing all the driving whilst he drinks beer and belches in the back seat!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:03, Reply)
I'll just drive anyway, no big deal is it.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:04, Reply)
"Yes officer, I'm very sorry. I definitely won't do it again and I'll definitely pay the ticket"

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:05, Reply)
EGGXAKTALLY

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:06, Reply)
that happened to my brother and his mate when they got caught drinking in the street in santa barbara
"when you get home, i want you boys to go up to the first 'british bobby' that you see, and you tell him what you did. you hear me?"

"yes officer. we totally will."
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:09, Reply)
course it is
they won't put you down as a named driver. and then when you inevitably scrape it, we won't be covered.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:09, Reply)
Just say it was you

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:13, Reply)
Good advice.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:04, Reply)
Good luck with that.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:54, Reply)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:55, Reply)
The 1970s was a crap idea in general.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:46, Reply)
Woah.
SOMEBODY'S about to get their head cut off with a samurai sword.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:47, Reply)
where's battered and his love for manky old beamers?
www.classicshowsuk.co.uk/carshoweventsinformation/carshow_date.asp?id=973
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:49, Reply)
Ta.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:50, Reply)
i saw that in the sunday papers this weekend, thought it might be something you'd like
also lol. for a fucking good reason:

The paltry number of these cars either licensed or on Statutory Off-Road Notice is truly frightening. Remarkably, there are more Ferrari 308 GTBs licensed in Britain today than Austin Allegros.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:51, Reply)
I'm tempted to buy another Saab.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:54, Reply)
i love saabs. my dad so nearly bought this little beauty
www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C448978

but he was too stubborn to up his bid by £1k and it sold at auction. gah.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 15:57, Reply)
Now you see
That is a shit car
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:12, Reply)
no
that is a lovely smooth clean car that has only done 2000 miles.

admittedly the colour is shit, but at least it's original. the 70's lurved maroon.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:14, Reply)
Looks like Nick Berry should be driving it
SHIT
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:14, Reply)
IT'S FUCKING LOVELY
just because it's a bit too futuristic for geordies.............

yeah baby, i went there (not newcastle, i didn't go there)
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:15, Reply)
^too orangy for cows^

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:16, Reply)
NO TITGAZZING

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:20, Reply)
OK, I'll stop

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:20, Reply)
saabs are for twats, just sayin

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:25, Reply)
When did you first buy one?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:26, Reply)
do you not remember selling it to me?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:30, Reply)
his feet wouldn't reach the pedals

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:32, Reply)
even with the claws out?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:33, Reply)
even then
i've had a 70's beetle. the pedals are not in a normal position. he'd need to hire his identical twin to sit on the floor and push them with his hands.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:35, Reply)
20,000 miles on a 70s car means it's been sat in a shed for 30 of those 40 years.
and that means issues with a capital I.

Nope, 2000 miles. You'd never be able to drive it and if you tried, all it's consumables would crumble to dust.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:29, Reply)
speaking of which, how's the rust?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:31, Reply)
Getting sorted.
You never have no issues with an old car. Never.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:33, Reply)
you probably should have checked for rust when you bought itb
And certainly before you added the fat exhaust and neon lights
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:35, Reply)
These things are always a calculated risk.
I'm not worried that it has rust on it so much as the fact that it was hidden by a bodge job.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:37, Reply)
maybe don't turn up the bass too high in case it shakes apart

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:41, Reply)
Nah,
if it does, I can just take the Kicker and fat exhaust and bang 'em on a new motor innit.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:43, Reply)
you'll be "cruising" along Southend sea front before you know it

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:46, Reply)
^ dodgy taste ^

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:31, Reply)
yhcciym
Your opnion is invalid
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:32, Reply)
just because you've been with your wife for so long that any form of sex other than for procreation is a dim and dismal memory

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:34, Reply)
yeah but yhcciym so...I win

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:38, Reply)
let's just focus on the "yeah"
and the associated crusty creamy stains on those pink trousers!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:41, Reply)
jealous of my pink trousers^

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:43, Reply)
Two little boys?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:12, Reply)
No thanks, I've just put one out

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:23, Reply)
It'll be fucking Morph next
My childhood is ruined
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:13, Reply)
Yeah, it's YOUR childhood that was ruined by this.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:13, Reply)
Yeah it is

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:14, Reply)
FYI: Sticking Plasticine up your arse doesn't count as being sexually abused by morph.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:16, Reply)
Chazticine

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:17, Reply)
silly chutty

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 17:04, Reply)
Morph'S plasticine mate looked a bit dodgy.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:28, Reply)
Racist.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Mon 30 Jun 2014, 16:50, Reply)

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