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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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A client at work has just said her son is "kind of on a long holiday", insinuating he's in prison.
What's the last white lie YOU told?
alt. What would YOU advertise on B3ta?
altalt. Which 80's celebrity would YOU bring back and subsequently Yewtree? Im going for Bob Carolgees.

Yer.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:32, 207 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
alright bent jase

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:37, Reply)
Alright "arousing suspicions" Dozer?

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:39, Reply)
yer m8
Exam next week innit.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:40, Reply)
A full week?
Best get cramming. You feeling confident?
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:41, Reply)
reasonably
It's such a dull subject though.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:44, Reply)
if the cap fits

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:46, Reply)
it's a snapback, you prick

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:47, Reply)
You're wearing a snapback past the age of 30 and I'M the prick?

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:54, Reply)
clickin dis

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:55, Reply)
*exam fives*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:51, Reply)
I'd advertise Dignitas.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:37, Reply)
On here, really?

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:39, Reply)
"Every little helps"

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:57, Reply)
'I dunno' probably.
I use it when I can't be bothered explaining things.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:38, Reply)
PACT coffee.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:38, Reply)
Never heard of them.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:40, Reply)
Its a sect

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:53, Reply)
It'll never take off.
What they need is an ad.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:55, Reply)
That just might work

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:57, Reply)
I'm *almost* clicking on the North O Meter one but I don't need a site to tell me how Northern and prole I am.
That's what you guys are for.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:40, Reply)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:58, Reply)
I don't tell white lies, I tell outrageous lies.
You're far less likely to get caught if you totally fabricate a story than if you try and embelish the truth.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:44, Reply)
alright Al, take it back to QOTW, yeah?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:48, Reply)
I mentioned that only yesterday to Idi Amin

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:53, Reply)
Don't don't do it

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:49, Reply)
slip in n' out of phenomenon

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:50, Reply)
alright yer
get pact
shit off
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:50, Reply)
it's a click from me!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:08, Reply)
AltAlt: Ben Elton, Noel Edmonds, Chris Tarrant, Lionel Blair, Nick Owen, Timmy Mallet, Steve Wright, Richard Digence, William G Stewart, Bob Holness, Richard Stilgoe, Chas'n' Dave.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:52, Reply)
YOU BOYS TOOK ONE HELL OF A BEATING

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:53, Reply)
hahaha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:08, Reply)
+ Bruce Forsythe
His wife is much younger. He must have lipread for blind kids or saink.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:56, Reply)
My noncedar is pinging at Forsythe

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:59, Reply)
How comes there's no women at it?

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:03, Reply)
Because teenage boys that pull grown up women are heros.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:05, Reply)
\o/

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:07, Reply)
Bloody double standards.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:07, Reply)
No way - lay off William G!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:03, Reply)
I got odds of 15/1 that he bummed goats

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:05, Reply)
My sister loves Chas & Dave
So naturally I'd be overjoyed to see either one of them yewtree'd.

Chas and/or Dave. Not my sister.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:14, Reply)
"I'll be five minutes"
Alt:
All my Rolf Harris artworks. There goes the pension plan

AltAlt:
Frank Sidebottom
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:52, Reply)
He's got a film out.
Michael Fassbender is playing him.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:57, Reply)
I have 0% interest in seeing that
Shits me right up, just like Noseybonk
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:58, Reply)
Yeah, Sidebottom used to make me uncomfortable as well.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:00, Reply)
yeah he was well creepy.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:04, Reply)
I had no idea Shame was a Rolf Harris biopic
He didn't even bother with the beard. Plenty of pervy stuff mind, but no kiddie fiddling. Maybe they're saving that up for part 2.
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:00, Reply)
no tax relief m8 and it's a risky asset class

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:59, Reply)
You tell me this NOW?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:00, Reply)
After all that excitement, I really fancy a coffee.
After all that excitement, I'm going to find the least free trade freeze dried shit responsible for the most rainforest clearance that I can.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:54, Reply)
hahaha!
Mine contains genuine Amazon tribespeople and tears
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:56, Reply)
Rob Manuel has just told me via Twitter 'remember - without a couple of ads / cross links with @UsVsTh3m I would have had to close the site'.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:55, Reply)
well, we have all paid for our icons.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:58, Reply)
i know i did

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:01, Reply)
Only just

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:07, Reply)
Sanctimonious prick
That's no excuse for fucking schoolboy coding that covers half the fucking page with them.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:58, Reply)
Haha
What a cunt
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:22, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 12:59, Reply)
HAHA

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:00, Reply)
PACT coffee
with the aroma of cunt
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:01, Reply)
I have a hankering for a cup now, but since we don't have any to hand at the office it will have to be Nescafe.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:05, Reply)
Fucking hell
I'd rather pour boiling water down my throat
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:06, Reply)
*prays Jason chooses this over coffee*

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:08, Reply)
^ this

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:10, Reply)
STOP YOUR INCESSANT FLIRTING!
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:14, Reply)
"If that doesn't work give me a call back tomorrow and I'll investigate further"
*sets out of office*

Alt: Balloon hats
Altalt: Trev and Simon, Wincey Willis, Karl Howman
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:05, Reply)
haha!
I've just done this trick. "Yer, email me the log files tomorrow"
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:06, Reply)
Ohhh, I used to love doing that excuse when I worked for sky and orange.
Normally signing off for a 4 day weekend.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:06, Reply)
Coffee accomplished.
And it's utterly disgusting.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:05, Reply)
[email protected] #justsayin

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:08, Reply)
do they ahve a twitter?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:09, Reply)
yes they doi
https://twitter.com/pactcoffee
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:09, Reply)
He's really gone fucking mental since those cycling golds, that cunt

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:09, Reply)
did you see him driving at Goodwood...did not end well

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:11, Reply)
Nope
What happened?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:13, Reply)
He drove at Goodwood, can't you read?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:16, Reply)
No!
*sobs*
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:17, Reply)
Don't worry you're not alone, illiteracy is rife in the North East

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:18, Reply)
*breaks ironometer*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:19, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwQursp3584
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:16, Reply)
You'd think after the 2nd time he would learn to get on the brakes a bit earlier

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:18, Reply)
He crashed right in front of the grandstand we were sitting in.
You know, we were there on another day, but still. CLOSE BRUSH WITH DEATH.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:19, Reply)
this^
I was almost run over by a car yesterday. Except I didn't cross that road that day
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:20, Reply)
I flew out of America in September 2001.
September 3rd, but still. CLOSE BRUSH WITH DEATH.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:23, Reply)
I flew to Belgium a few weeks after 9/11 and there were muzzas on the plane
They weren't terrorists but still. CLOSE BRUSH WITH DEATH.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:00, Reply)
BOOM BOOM!
CLOSE BASIL
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:11, Reply)
"i'll review and revert shortly"
no, imma get a salad and some water and stop at the big outdoor screen showing wimbledon because I HAVEN'T SEEN A SINGLE FUCKING MATCH YET THIS YEAR.

alt: pedant and white knighting services.

altalt: philippa fucking forrester
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:42, Reply)
Cor she could've nonced me back in the day and I wouldn't have complained

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:43, Reply)
Is it noncing if it's consensual?

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:45, Reply)
Nice try Nonsta, but underagers can't consent

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:46, Reply)
So, parent/guardian permission slips?

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:48, Reply)
Like what H from Lost Prophets had?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:58, Reply)
I guess my fifteen year old self will just have to disappoint the twins from fun house. :(

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:05, Reply)
she's aged as badly as Debbie Harry

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:46, Reply)
says the 36 year old with face piercings, a "Shit" hoody and baseball cap

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:48, Reply)
clickclickclick

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:48, Reply)
Tweeting this!

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:50, Reply)
here he is:
tinyurl.com/onamlom
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:52, Reply)
He'll be smiling on the other side of his face now, I bet

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:53, Reply)
iLol'd

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:58, Reply)
I bet that makes flossing at the back a lot easier.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:54, Reply)
+eating hotdogs without opening your mouth
Jaysum could suck 3 cocks at a time with those holes
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:58, Reply)
I don't need them holes

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:58, Reply)
Show off

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:05, Reply)
SNAPBACK!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:57, Reply)
I'd say she's aged considerably worse than the lovely Debs
She was in her 30s by the time Blondie were successful and was still making winkies feel funny at the age Forrester is now.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 13:57, Reply)
Revert to what?

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:06, Reply)
it's something all lawyers get wrong
we all know it's wrong, but we all say it.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:08, Reply)
Ah, I see. Like morals.

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:10, Reply)
I pointed this out a while back and someone (you or rory?) reckoned it was ok.
I still don't like it when I see it on emails to me.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:10, Reply)
it is ok because everyone does it
therefore it is now an accepted use
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:16, Reply)
We use it the same way.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:19, Reply)
You make me sick

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:23, Reply)
so basically, intelligent people
demanding intelligence. good!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:26, Reply)
Jumping on the bandwagon by bastardising English isn't 'intelligent'.
It's pretentious if anything.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:28, Reply)
that's what lawyers
DO
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:31, Reply)
Bollocks. I refuse to use office speak because no matter how ubiquitous it is, I still find it abhorrent.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:24, Reply)
irregardless of how many emails I get pinged with this shit I too hate office speak

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:25, Reply)
magic

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:26, Reply)
+ 2 chips on my soul it is then.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:27, Reply)
Rubbish.
Phrases like this get used because they serve a purpose and allow important busy people like me to get on with swindling your old Nan out of her insurance claim.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:43, Reply)
I fucking hate them.
Ghastly abuses of the flexibility of the language.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:45, Reply)
maybe he has gone on a sabbatical?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:03, Reply)
Or a gap year?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:05, Reply)
Or recovering from AIDS.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:06, Reply)
Don't give jason false hope

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:07, Reply)
You can't get infected twice.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:16, Reply)
Gotta catch 'em all

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:34, Reply)
does Naked Ape still touch children on the cunt?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:35, Reply)
Yes
and cock and balls
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:42, Reply)
Now Rolf has gone, he's started painting kangaroos to get more of them

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:42, Reply)
Do you think I would leave you bleeding there
When there's room on my cock for two.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:50, Reply)
*extra pegs*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:51, Reply)
The bastard had the cheek (and mini lady la la)
to do ads encouraging children to speak up about abuse.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:52, Reply)
I's the old double bluff
look at dozer up there accusing me...maybe we should closer at his activites
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:54, Reply)
I bet you are right.
I bet he is noncing his nephew up as we speak.

I'll make him smile on the other side of his face....hold on!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:58, Reply)
Receptionist emailed to say she was holding a large package for me.
I got all excited, but it was just a PC :(
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:43, Reply)
You should have thrashed your penis down her throat.
Bitch!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:45, Reply)
Old and ugly.
But she apparently enjoys being pissed on, if office rumour is anything to go by.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:45, Reply)
Who doesn't!?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:48, Reply)
:/

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:57, Reply)
Office rumours are FACT. FACT!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:48, Reply)
Oh well, in that case.
Our 55+ year old receptionist likes being pissed on.

Takes all sorts, I guess.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:57, Reply)
A cock for a start

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:58, Reply)
If you work for a large organisation then the percentages come in to play.
x% will be in to pee play
y% will be nonces
z% will be wife beaters etc.

The trick is working out who is what.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 14:59, Reply)
If I were hotter, I'd conduct an exhaustive investigation into the deviants in this office block.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:01, Reply)
One of the girls who used to work in here was caught by the cleaners getting fucked over her desk by a married colleague

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:04, Reply)
been there, seen it, done it.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:05, Reply)
Overtime on a Saturday did have its perks

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:07, Reply)
I don't think I'd have the stones to fuck a girl at work.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:05, Reply)
Reader, I married one

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:06, Reply)
Girls from work, sure.
girls at work, no.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:09, Reply)
I was once being pleasured by a lady whilst on the phone to one of our customers
Quite difficult to keep an even voice when DefCon BONGLE was upgraded to Global Spermonuclear War
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:12, Reply)
'anywaygottgobyearrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh'.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:19, Reply)
Pretty much this, yes

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:26, Reply)
i had fake phone sex whilst walking around and around the outside of the office in uxbridge once
he thought i was in bed in fishnets. it would have been rude to disillusion him. but god it was cold and depressing.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:30, Reply)
I have fond memories of mucking up in my PA's mouth as she sat under my desk at 3 in the afternoon.
Joys of not working in open plan.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:13, Reply)
I miss the days running pub cellars.
The number of girls that I'd had over a barrel, as it were.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:18, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:18, Reply)
What did MA say?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:19, Reply)

memor fantas
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:28, Reply)
My old MD used to fuck prostitutes in his office. Regularly.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:17, Reply)
I didn't realise you used to work for me.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:20, Reply)
Surely the allure of the French accent will do it?

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:05, Reply)
Smell innit

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:05, Reply)
The smell of onions, garlic, body odour and Gitanes

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:06, Reply)
+self righteousness

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:06, Reply)
+ burning sheep.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:15, Reply)
Tiger Tim is 2 sets down.
COME ON, TIM!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:00, Reply)
I hope he loses.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:00, Reply)
Why do you hate Tim?
You probably hate Scotland. You're proably hoping for the breakup of our noble Union. You're probably a terrorist. You hate freedom.

/O'Reilly
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:02, Reply)
Dull. Just like Scotland.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:03, Reply)
Scottish people are usually cunts.
Look at Mel Gibson as a prime example of this.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:04, Reply)
That'll be me as a quarter cunt, then.
How messy.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:04, Reply)
C

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:05, Reply)
and dozer
and fister
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:27, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:02, Reply)
I want one of these.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:04, Reply)
Tennis would be improved if 'CUNT' was yelled instead of 'FAULT'.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:14, Reply)
It is already, isn't it?
That's what I thought they said, anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:18, Reply)
Bit dodgy on a discrimination story, but: PHWOAR
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/jul/02/metropolitan-police-deleted-evidence-tribunal-finds-carol-howard

"She can take down my particulars! Eh? Eh?"
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:12, Reply)
Somebody's drawn her eyebrows on with a felt tip.
Do you think she knows?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:14, Reply)
I'd discriminate right up her shit pipe.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:16, Reply)
Would.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:18, Reply)
Totally would
cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/1/590x/pxl_black_girl_gun_co-T2E-462425.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:18, Reply)
Fucking hell, yes

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:27, Reply)
i would say "men", but...
sigh.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:27, Reply)
Police in "Being bent" shocker.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 2 Jul 2014, 15:35, Reply)

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