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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Cadburys are no longer to produce chocolate coins according to the metro, this saddens people. Are you sad about anything?
Alt, best chocolate stuff ever?
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:02, 168 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
I bet it's the EU's fault
that nice Mr Farage will sorry them out.
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:08, Reply)
Just spent some time over the other end of the office fixing stuff.
No doubt the topic of conversation over there now is all about the handsome older gentleman that swooped in to solve the unsolvable problems. The younger guys will be wanting to emulate me whilst the women will be fantasising about running away with me, wrapped up in my strong, manly arms.

In a lot of ways my work would be easier if IT didn't have such a masculine, romantic reputation. But let's not kid ourselves, I got into this job for the hot chicks.
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:09, Reply)
can you check the network cabling under my desk?
there's nothing wrong with it ... I just want to ogle your arse
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:11, Reply)
Of course you do.
I'm sure you're as straight as they come, but a guy like me can turn a chap's head.
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:13, Reply)
hahahahahaha
not the fat middle aged birds wearing Monty style jeggings?
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:11, Reply)
They're all of a fizz thinking of the dashing fellow with the assured, yet gentle, hands.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:14, Reply)
Firm and reassuring but lightly calloused demonstrating your earthy life experience.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:15, Reply)
Strong and rough and yet with a deft touch
reflecting the inner sensitivity of the slice of man-cake handling her equipment.
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:19, Reply)
hahahaha

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:35, Reply)
You can often hear them
They sound like popping candy while you are fixing their Cat 5 cabling
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:16, Reply)
Many people blame the humidity in the office on dodgy air-conditioning
but I know better.
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:20, Reply)
Queef heating
It could save us from global warming
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:22, Reply)
I've never heard the term jegging before, stretchy denim for fat chavs?

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:17, Reply)
exactly
jean legging.
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:35, Reply)
You either sharpened someone's pencil, or changed a lightbulb.
Our IT person at the surgery was a 20ish girl, in her own words 'IT is full of pricks'. I can't really believe that?
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:14, Reply)
Dont be silly girls dont do IT
They do things like answering the phone and making a nice cup of tea
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:15, Reply)
bitches be needing stitches.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:16, Reply)
She had boobworks, and a girl's name, pretty sure she was a real one.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:18, Reply)
While I would never doubt your trained medical eye
She defo had a cock and balls hidden away too.

Women do things like washing up and cleaning after the menfolk
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:22, Reply)
I think shemay have been a 'lesbian', however.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:24, Reply)
The desk was surrounded by a swarm of young lads, all desperate to impress the bright young filly whose phone couldn't get an IP address.
In comes the quietly authoritative mature heart-throb, gently pushing aside the throng, before getting on his knees and reseating the cable in the girl's port.

With many sighs and a heart all a-flutter, she breathlessly thanked me before sliding clean off her chair.
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:18, Reply)
Ah the classic
"have you checked that everything is correctly plugged in"

You sir are a Hero for our times.
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:20, Reply)
Give over, I had to run a new cable AND re-patch the comms.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:21, Reply)
*swoons*

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:22, Reply)
Some prick here only patched the first four (occupied) ports in a server rack.
I mean... honestly.
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:35, Reply)
What sort of cahnt would do that?

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:39, Reply)
That is a somewhat draconian approach to policing corporate internet use.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:43, Reply)
Are you the one with glasses, from thee IT crowd?

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:44, Reply)
this is the worst erotic fanfic ever

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:08, Reply)
It's a good job the Confessions... series of films stopped in the 70s

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:10, Reply)
Confessions of an Ocado driver was funny as fuck.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:20, Reply)
Confessions of an SEO and Digital Marketing Consultant wasn't very good though

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:32, Reply)
Carry On Kickstarting!

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:34, Reply)

Kickstarting Murdering Polish prozzies
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:44, Reply)
yeah ... "sharpened his pencil" ... eh? eh? know what I mean? eh?

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:20, Reply)
It wasn't actually a euphemism.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:23, Reply)
everything is a "euphemism" ... if you know what I mean

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:32, Reply)
She is correct, in a very literal sense.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:25, Reply)
nothing

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:02, Reply)
NUFFIN!

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:05, Reply)
I'm not sad about anything
Alt:
Those crazy Cadburys bars with cola bottles and shit in are nice
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:05, Reply)
that doesn't exist
you were eating the puke from a kids birthday party
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:09, Reply)
Oh yeah, sorry

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:17, Reply)
I didn't know they had their own currency.
The tills at KFC must stink.
Im sad about war and religion being the cause.

alt. Taye Diggs
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:06, Reply)
Which wars are they then?

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:11, Reply)
The bad ones.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:16, Reply)
All of them.
Will they ever find peace in the middle east?
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:20, Reply)
All of them?
Boer War? WW1? WW2? Korean War? Gulf War?
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:23, Reply)
All of them War is bad.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:30, Reply)
None of them were caused by religion though, were they?

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:31, Reply)
go away tangles.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:37, Reply)
You could argue from your list the Gulf war purported to be about that
WW2 used it as well.
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:37, Reply)
No you couldn't.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:41, Reply)
seriously?
You're going to argue on here about the role of religious sectarianism in conflict? Jesus.
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:43, Reply)
No, I just like calling Jason stupid.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:49, Reply)
Well if you just said that in the first place
Pah
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:51, Reply)
fair play

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:12, Reply)
Idealogical differences between Sunni Shia and christianity
Its tenuous I grant you but you could argue it
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:51, Reply)
Turf wars on a global scale

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:20, Reply)
Fanny like a KFC till
Recipient of a multitude of smelly fingerings

I'd give Viz a bell if I were you Jay
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:21, Reply)
It turns out that swipe might be the happiest of all you Londoners
www.theguardian.com/cities/gallery/2014/oct/28/london-life-mapped-data-visualisation-graphics?index=1

Doesn't look so good for Monty.
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:09, Reply)
The phrase "Barking mad" didn't arrive out of the ether.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:11, Reply)
Well this is shit.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:11, Reply)
I think it's possible that SBT may actually be the worst one here

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:12, Reply)
not my fault

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:12, Reply)
I did my fucking best, man.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:15, Reply)
you've got shit all over your face

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:23, Reply)
I for one have enjoyed the adventures of gaston the IT Casanova

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:23, Reply)
He's the best one on here.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:29, Reply)
i got two wanks out of it

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:29, Reply)
how's it going??
did you bake them a big gay cake?
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:30, Reply)
No, I'm not really sad about anything.
Alt - Those Cadbury bars with the smartie things and the popping candy are nice. Also the maltesers you get in the Celebrations/Heroes/whatever are even better than normal maltesers.
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:13, Reply)
*chocolate high fives*

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:17, Reply)
Two Posters one cup

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:21, Reply)
*fives*
*washes hands*
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:22, Reply)
Cheeky get

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:27, Reply)
Just pass along the chocolate normally next time

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:33, Reply)
i was sad when cadburys got sold off overseas
but the new cadburys bars are all really nice. oreo, chips ahoy, banana caramel crunch.... yes.
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:23, Reply)
The 1960s? No wonder you look so old.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:25, Reply)
stop stalking
go away, i'm not your australian mate
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:26, Reply)
you sure?
you're following a very similar pattern of behaviour
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:28, Reply)
no, i have only ever commented on the one pic of you that was posted on here by someone else
and even then, i thought you were the whiny old woman at first.

you, on the other hand..... well, i fear for the budgie's anonymity, that's all i can say.
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:29, Reply)
What we should do is have capitalism only when it suits us

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:25, Reply)
fuck off, e e cummings

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:29, Reply)
Those Oreo ones are FILTH

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:37, Reply)
frog and i sat in this very park not that long ago, it's about 5 mins from the half-flat
what a grim way to go

www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/mans-body-found-impaled-on-railing-spikes-in-west-london-9824789.html
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:25, Reply)
It was probably just A Vagabond.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:31, Reply)
Well that was careless.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:33, Reply)
Not that uncommon unfortunately
Doesn't always lead to death mind, but I know someone whose mate did the same when pissed on a short cut and a good few years back a school mate took one through the thigh
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:36, Reply)
Kinky.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:38, Reply)
A lad in my school died in the same way, only on the school railings

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:40, Reply)
My year at school was the year of death
so many people died that they had to have three to a page in the end of school keepsake thing they gave out rather than having a whole page each.

The stupidest one is the kid who got out of the car doing 70 because he was fucked on drugs.
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:52, Reply)
we've all done that

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:53, Reply)
One kid shot himself in the eye with a air pistol because his girlfriend cheated on him
took days to die.
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:54, Reply)
OW!
We had a kid murdered by a gay serial killer in our year
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:55, Reply)
So child death is what it takes to get the board jumping now?

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:56, Reply)
I'm at DefCon Bongle RIGHT NOW

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:16, Reply)
I felt the most feels for this lass
www.theguardian.com/uk/2001/dec/22/3 because she was in remission. She did have a bunch of my CDs that I lent her whilst she was in hospital that I never got back though.
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:58, Reply)
You should have waited outside the court room
I would bet that her mum would have been happy to give them back
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:08, Reply)
I did, she said they were in the other car

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:10, Reply)
What a fibber
I bet you she nicked em
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:13, Reply)
Probably.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:16, Reply)
Serial killer though? Mental. Who was it?

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:00, Reply)
Yeah, proper one and everything
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Grieveson
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:09, Reply)
Oooo they keep finding new ones to charge him with
Looks like the PoPo are clearing a back log
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:12, Reply)
Thomas Kelly was in my year
Nice kid. The house where he killed Simon Martin was knocked down. I was in Roker Park on Sunday and there's still no building there now. A lad I know ended up in custody for about 6 months as they found his fingerprint in the building. He was fucking his bird in there and she was 15 and wouldn't admit she was with him, so he was accused of murder
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:14, Reply)
Sounds like he murdered him to cover up being a paedo.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:15, Reply)
OMG!

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:15, Reply)
Seriously though, thats a bit shit. Did he get an apology for all the shower room rapings he had to endure?

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:17, Reply)
hahaha

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:18, Reply)

www.sunderlandecho.com/news/crime/simon-martin-killing-accused-tells-of-relief-at-grieveson-s-confession-1-5402636
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:18, Reply)
He does look a little bit old to be fucking a 15 year old

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:20, Reply)
It was in 1990

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:22, Reply)
Yeh, years before the others. Sounds fucking dodgy to me

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:23, Reply)
His bird were well dirty

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:23, Reply)
TTJ
even so by his own admission there he was 16 and if she was 15

THEN I CALL NONCE
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:23, Reply)

+'M +ED
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:26, Reply)
Right, sounds to me like the paedo did it and somehow convinced grieveson to say it was him
I mean he's in for life anyway so I bet he could be bribed
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:21, Reply)
Yeah
We should probably castrate him just in case


WONT SOMEONE THINK OF THE KIDS
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:22, Reply)
That was the problem in the first place!

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:23, Reply)
The Eyes of a Killer!

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:23, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:23, Reply)
ahahaha

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:23, Reply)


(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:25, Reply)
He's coming to get you bahhhhhbra

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:41, Reply)
Defo
I sense some transference from Sporters here and "A Lad I Know"
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:16, Reply)
Well I am a paedo serial killer but that one ent me

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:17, Reply)
Ah fair enough

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:18, Reply)
It's quite funny that his motive was to conceal his homosexuality, only for him then to become known as a gay serial killer.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:12, Reply)
Tangles doesnt understand funny

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:13, Reply)
I laughed.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:14, Reply)
Freaky.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:12, Reply)
It was proper scary at the time
No-one knew the kids were chutneys so we all thought we were next
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:14, Reply)
Then you found out they were and you panicked?

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:17, Reply)
It nearly turned me straight

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:19, Reply)
Eeeeeee
what a fucking halfwit. Or was he going for the pirate look thinking she would come rushing back?
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:07, Reply)
He stabbed himself in the side first and said he was attacked. Classic cry for help but every believed him
then a few days later he shot himself
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:14, Reply)
Was he 'speeding'?

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:56, Reply)
oh ho

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:56, Reply)
It was a bit mental
The two lads were tripping or something and decided to hitchhike home. Dave freaked out and started screaming he wanted to get out but they were on the dual carriageway. Dave got out and was hit by another car. Bit messy.
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:59, Reply)
Dave was a product of natural selection

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:09, Reply)
Bonzo doesn't understand natural selection.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:10, Reply)
I bearly understand banana

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:12, Reply)
Bears dont banana
Monkeys do
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:32, Reply)
Where is Frog anyway?

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:49, Reply)
I think he must be avoiding you

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:51, Reply)
I have a present for him, he better not be

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:52, Reply)
STAY ABOUT FROM THE RAILINGS

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 11:51, Reply)
Its ok I text him. He's alive

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:18, Reply)
OR
Was it a 5am ghost text eh did you think of that
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:20, Reply)
No, no I didn't

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:22, Reply)
THe most important thing to take from this thread is that Sporters has finally confessed to being a Gay, Paedo Serial Killer.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:23, Reply)
Its a fair cop

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:26, Reply)
Some tautology here

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:27, Reply)
Which bit?

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:27, Reply)
The bit where he said the same thing more than once using different words

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:30, Reply)
thesaurusology

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:31, Reply)
I don't see it.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:32, Reply)
Hey thanks man! I was wrong about you!

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:44, Reply)
Bollocks. I've never clipped a tree in my life.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:42, Reply)
Its hardly the most important bit, really
Honestly, you fuck and strangle a few kids and people get all shouty.

WHERE IS FROG?!
(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:31, Reply)
Fucking and strangling kids.

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:32, Reply)
PHEW!

(, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 12:32, Reply)

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