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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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ZzzzzGo on then, tell me about cooking disasters, that you did or that you got served.
alt: Cooked anything nice recently?
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:26,
223 replies,
latest was 10 years ago)
I once cooked a steak slightly too long and it was rare instead of bleuAlt. Yes
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Peej, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:27,
Reply)
if you're gonna be a nonce and say "bleu" then you should be consistently noncy and say "saignant" or "à point"jussayinlike
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:32, Reply)
or maybe it's just that he's cornish and can't spell "blue"(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:41,
Reply)
that's not frenchit's just garbled inbred english, sixtoe
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:47,
Reply)
I did an asparagus and parmesan starter and the garlic still tasted a touch raw. NIGHTMARE!
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:36, Reply)
I must be due some sort of compensation. Perhaps I can sue the negligent garlic farmer?
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:53, Reply)
just ask Kroney. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:08,
Reply)
once upon a time someone i know nearly used 2 bulbs of garlic in a recipe that called for two cloves hahahaha that would have been unfortunate (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:39,
Reply)
i know, oh how we laughed, you couldn't make it up(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:43,
Reply)
you are not a a position to take that course of action(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:53,
Reply)
It was HER!!! Oh, dear. She needs to leave the cokking to the REAL MEN.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:54, Reply)
I once made a nice fish pie.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 10:56,
Reply)
I served plaice as Lemon Sole to 40 top guests once.They didn't notice. Not a disaster.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:07,
Reply)
I cook a variety of vegetarian dishes There is nothing disastrous about this
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:08,
Reply)
And his rampant mung bean eating homosexuality.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:45,
Reply)
until later when the farts kill houseplants and small animals(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:10,
Reply)
I beg to differ(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:11,
Reply)
I've never really properly fucked up a meal because I can follow basic instructions.I might have forgotten the odd step once or twice but it's always been salvageable.
I once started smashing the kitchen up a bit in a teenage strop when my cheese and bean toastie stuck though.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:14,
Reply)
I once put too much water in a Pot Noodleand one time I put too fewer water in a Pot Noodle
Alt Pot Noodle
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Peej, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:20,
Reply)
I always increase my dining experience by adding my own condiments and spices(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:29,
Reply)
When I was a student and very poor, living on my own and suchI would eat pasta with beans/peas/gravy
Possibly the most destitute diet ever. All my other money obviously went on partying and alcohol.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:28,
Reply)
When I lost a bankcard or something and had no access to any cash, a housemate caught me mixing the only two bits of food I had.Piccalilli and rice.
They made me bin it and bought me tea.
Also, pasta, butter and marmite is the one.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:32,
Reply)
i once lived for about 5 days on a gigantic box of uncle ben's white rice, boiled and served with melted butter and saltbeing a student in london was FUN.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:38,
Reply)
Still, at least Jarvis Cocker wrote that song about you(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:44,
Reply)
before alistair macgowan was famous (the same night he asked me out, fact fans)i saw him do an impression of jarvis. it included the line, "so i farted... there."
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:48,
Reply)
I was a student in London and I can guarantee you had far more disposable income than me. I never once struggled to eat. I put it too you that you wasted money on shit you didn't need.
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Peej, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:58,
Reply)
i can't see why you think that statement even needs to be madeof course i did.
but then, what student doesn't?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:03,
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yeah but how did you fit your square head through the door?spongebobsquarepants.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:07,
Reply)
Pasta + ketchup = full square.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:38,
Reply)
Fortnum & Mason(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:57,
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GO NORTH(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:57,
Reply)
when I first moved to London I lived in a bedsit in Hammersmith. I used to buy a 10 kilo bag of spuds and crate of savers beans on pay day so I had dinner everyday until the next pay day.
If I was feeling flush I'd buy off cuts of cheese to add as a "treat".
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:44, Reply)
I used to mix a tin of irish stew with baked beans and eat it out of the saucepan(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:44,
Reply)
i wasn't a student. when i wasn't a student i had a job and ate like a king, a habit which i continue to this day.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 11:49,
Reply)
When I was a student in London I paid all my rent, bills and food with no difficulty with no more than my student loan and the £2700 I had saved up. Over the three years I never once went overdrawn or used a credit card. I split the £2700 up to £300 a term and budgeted well. I had an internet connection, contract mobile and ate proper food. I was able to go out at least two nights a week, spent every other weekend in Bath with my then girlfriend and went to the cinema at least twice a week. I also had enough money to buy a new computer and a Fender Stratocaster. All you povvo food munchers were just piss poor at managing your money.
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Peej, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:05,
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budgeting?what kind of a student budgets??
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:07,
Reply)
Students that want to have nice stuff, to be able to go out, eat properly and not get in debt probably.I flew to belgium a few times on my student loan as well.
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Peej, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:08,
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Wouldnt it have been easier to use a planeahahahahahahahahahahahaha
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:09, Reply)
"Girlfriend"(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:35,
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You don't say how much the student loan was.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:38,
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What ever was standard for London in 2000Not a massive amount £4500 a year I think
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Peej, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:39,
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being able to cook makes life a treat even as a studentI don't know if anyone else here had this but the SU at my one used to be able to give out EU surplus stuff for free, tins of stewing steak (that looked like dog food) spuds mixed veg etc.
Me and my housemate used to make massive stews and pies etc. for pennies just had to spend a few bob on herbs and spices.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:02, Reply)
I went to my SU once to get my card so I could get money off at HMV.(
Peej, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:07,
Reply)
I lived across the road from a Tesco so got most of my food thereI bought lunch out everyday so only really needed to prepare one meal a day. Never considered I might be able to get free food though.
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Peej, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:13,
Reply)
I spent at least half my stoodent life in the union blagging into gigs and getting cunted on cheap booze and expensive drugsIncluding an hour of one of my finals.
/excellentcareersadvice
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:14, Reply)
My SU was a bit shitI used to go to the Astoria quite a lot. Most gigs there were under a tenner and I saw some great (and some not so great) bands there.
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Peej, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:15,
Reply)
dunno what the typical cost was cos we usually hid in the attic thing and sneaked back inI do remember thinking that £8 to see Cocteau Twins was extortionate.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:23, Reply)
It is a bit, given that she didn't even sing proper words(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:30,
Reply)
if you say even a single mean thing about the lovely Elizabeth Fraser I will be exceedingly upset(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 12:38, Reply)
^Has a picture pinned to his wall(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:07,
Reply)
Not so much a disaster but seasoning my new wok has left a smoke mark on the ceiling above the hob :(Alt: STIR FRY YESSSSSSSS
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:08,
Reply)
Aren't you supposed to season pans and that in the oven?(
Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:13,
Reply)
Not a wok, very high temperature on the gas ring(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:15,
Reply)
you can season them in a hot oven toounless it's got a wooden handle ... then you'll prolly have a smoke mark on your bathroom, bedroom, and every other room
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:18, Reply)
Yes wooden handle(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:20,
Reply)
A wok's just a bent frying pan isn't it?Cast iron pans are usually done in the oven.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:19,
Reply)
Keyword is WOK, not cast iron panit's carbon steel and will take quite awhile to get the proper patina that helps with the taste
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:25,
Reply)
I got something like this for christmas.www.johnlewis.com/le-creuset-shallow-casserole-30cm/p310824
Haven't used it yet though. Should be good for frying and ovening. It says it doesn't need seasoning and should build a patina on it's own. Sounds like fibs.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:29,
Reply)
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2439241
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:34,
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^ Racist(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:38,
Reply)
i bought my brother one of thoseand i'm buying my friend one for her wedding present. beautiful things.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:36,
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I don't want one for my birthday, I want a burger king gift card(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:40,
Reply)
I've got a cheap non stick one that I have only used once because all the noodles stuck to it.I cook most of my food in my cast iron pans and skillets.
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Peej, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:37,
Reply)
It ain't the greatest at flash frying. And weighs a fucking tonne.
It does a nice Beef Rendang though.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:45, Reply)
I just looked at it, basically looks like a dutch potA good cast iron Dutch pot is a basic necessity for my kitchen
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:49,
Reply)
Jamaican thing innitwww.amazon.co.uk/Jamaica-Sun-Dutch-Pot-30cm/dp/B00HA16KUQ
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:57,
Reply)
you should prolly buy one of those instead of a ridiculous cast iron Not-a-Wok(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:24, Reply)
Not according to what I've been led to believe a well seasoned wok does stop food from stickingand is also supposed to enhance the flavour
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:44,
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New house innit :((
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:26,
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Yes...yes I have(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:50,
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is this still going?i have a pot of vegetable crudites (peppers, carrots and celery with sour cream and #CHIVEALIVE dip), a pot of melon, and a mini brown rice, lentil and veg salad for lunch.
what have you lot got?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:19,
Reply)
I left my lunch in the fridge at home like a twat.So blt sandwich, lentil soup and cheese and onion crisps.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:22,
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I had half that noodle thing before I binned it, it was like saltwater and tapeworms with a splash of sloppy dog shit for colour (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:23,
Reply)
You should go and treat yourself to a kebab on the way home(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:26,
Reply)
Not today, today we are cooking me a nice dinner. Which is just as well because i'm going to be bloody starving after that 'lunch'(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:29,
Reply)
They are my favourite bit of a chicken, apart from the anus.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:33,
Reply)
here it isshewearsmanyhats.com/on-the-dark-side/
i know that link sounds dodgy. but it is actually just a recipe for soy/ginger/garlic/honey glazed chicken thighs.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:35,
Reply)
Monty introduced to them Itsu Noodles about 2 years ago they sell them in sainsburys I thinkThe bloody thing was about the size of a large popcorn bucket, not bad but taken fucking ages to get through.
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:31,
Reply)
This was an itsu chicken noodle pot, i suppose it's good in that it has completely killed my appetite for at least a few hours(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:37,
Reply)
That's the last time I ever try anything new ever again(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:40,
Reply)
What's the point in trying new stuff when you already know what you like?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:41,
Reply)
Exactly. I like enough different things already.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:46,
Reply)
I have (yet another) ex who told me at the ripe old age of 21 that she was too old to try new foods.(
Peej, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:42,
Reply)
Was she fat? Because it may have been a fair point if she'd already eaten loads.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:46,
Reply)
Nope, horribly thinMainly because she hardly ate anything with any nutritional value.
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Peej, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:49,
Reply)
This was an excuse to not give you a blow job wasn't it?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:46,
Reply)
good lad. don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I am so miserable I am looking at my holiday itinerary.
and thinking about coming out on Thursday.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:43, Reply)
NO GETTING TOO SMASHED UNTIL WE HAVE EATEN THE TASTY FOODafter that, you can do whatever the fuck you like.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:00,
Reply)
After the foodings I want to go home with you and do a poo with the bathroom door open so I can still talk to you. (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:02,
Reply)
i'm busy that nightbut peej has a lob-on at the very thought
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:15,
Reply)
You have to do what I want on my special day. It's virtually a law. (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:16,
Reply)
This is exactly the type of thing that deserves its own threadGo on start a Birthday thread
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:18,
Reply)
I could be* wrong but I don't think a thread on about what you can or cant get away with on your B-day has never been doneThis has got to be worth coming out of retirement for
*and probably am
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:23,
Reply)
It was like a very ill dog had emptied itself into it from both ends for one last time before death. And then again after.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:31,
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Or a picture of your face to elicit a similar response, you ogre.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:34,
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weirdthere's nothing wrong with raw celery. granted it's not as tasty as the carrots and peppers, but it's perfectly edible.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:01,
Reply)
raw pepper is equally pointless and indigestibleyour entire lunch sounds like one of those horrific pseudoscience "cleansing" diets that idiots eat after Christmas
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:23, Reply)
Raw celery is fucking rank.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:29,
Reply)
it's not foodIt's what self-hating chubsters crunch on to disguise the sound of their fatty sobbing
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:30, Reply)
My mum loved the stuff.She died of cancer at 44. I recently turned 44, hate it and don't have cancer. COINCIDENCE?
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:36,
Reply)
Due to having to dash back and forthI ended up having an M&S ham, cheese and pickle sandwich.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:51,
Reply)
I do know a guy that quite regularly has a bowl of instant stuffing with ketchup as a meal.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:28,
Reply)
fucking hell.My old housemate used to throw super noodles over the top of pie and chips.
I've also seen people microwave a whole haggis and just mash it up with a fork and shovel it in.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:30,
Reply)
I've done that. I like haggis.My old housemate used to eat super noodles on toast and consider it a proper meal.
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Peej, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:32,
Reply)
It's not abhorrent, but if you've got basic cooking facilities you could get some gravy out.And have some (s)mash.
I also like haggis; the Nepalese I went to at the weekend did haggis pakora.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:34,
Reply)
I've only done it in work where they only had a microwave,At home I boil it, spread it on a baking tray and bake it.
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Peej, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:35,
Reply)
The co-op down the road does tinned steak pie filling.I've considered whether I can knock up a 'banquet' involving it, smash some peas and the works boiler/microwave.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:37,
Reply)
Last Burns nightwe went to a do round a friends and there was also vegetarian haggis which was rather odd
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:45, Reply)
I can never understand why vegeterians try to make food that looks/tastes like the products they refuse to eat?If and when I choose to eat a vegetarian dish it's precisely because it's not meat.
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:54,
Reply)
It was basically barley mushed upThe missus is a foodwrong so I often do quorn based dishes which are ok, her point is that its the "food with a face" bollocks rather than the taste or look, so she can have imitation meat.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:56, Reply)
Vegans are even worseI've had to be quite rude to one that insisted on shoving their foodwronger beliefs down peoples throats
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:01,
Reply)
Well of course you do, because if you wanted a dish that looks/tastes like meat you can eat meat.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:57,
Reply)
^ This(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:02,
Reply)
So what do you not understand?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:07,
Reply)
If the idea of eating meat is so abhorrent why try to simulate them(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:09,
Reply)
Perhaps not all vegetarians find the look/taste of meat to be abhorrent(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:24,
Reply)
What percentage of them would be your guess?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:26,
Reply)
You cared enough to bring it up(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:31,
Reply)
Smash + Beans + Corned Beef when I'm 'ere./ac
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Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:36,
Reply)
FUCK MARROWFAT PEASvile things.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:54,
Reply)
My ex used to mix up packets of stuffing mix with hot water and eat them out of the bowl.No ketchup though, that's just wrong.
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Peej, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 13:31,
Reply)
I still remember the yoghurt cakecooked by a vague acquaintance with no knowledge of cookery science, who thought that it didn't matter if he didn't have enough yoghurt because he could just use vegetable oil instead. The end result was like a limp and impotent brick after a kiln misfire.
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.Yeti., Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:13,
Reply)
we made ginger cake when i was at schoolsomeone brought mixed herbs instead of mixed spices. it did NOT look or smell good.
also someone else thought it would be a good idea to swirl red, blue and green food colouring into a cake, like a psychedelic marble effect.
no. like a grey mutant dishcloth effect.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:14,
Reply)
Haha Ginger cake(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:15,
Reply)
our class thpethul once brought cauliflower instead of cornflour for a cakein his defence, he probably spelled then both "conflowa" so it was entirely his idiot mum's fault
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:27, Reply)
He's dead now. He had something pretty grim I think. He was tiny and thick as fuck.It's still his mum's fault for thinking cauliflower was a sensible cake ingredient.
(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:34, Reply)
Maybe she took advantage of his relaxed standardsby giving him a cauliflower with candles on it on his birthday every year.
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.Yeti., Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:35,
Reply)
Are you all still talking about food?Fat bastards.
This back to work day has been cushty. Lots of meetings and I now have a magic dual screen!
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:26,
Reply)
I've only been in for an hour and already I've had some Indian sweets and frankly bizarre Sri Lankan spicy crunchy sweet things(, Mon 5 Jan 2015, 14:29, Reply)
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