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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I know I'm going to regret thisBut later on today the office party planning committee (yes really - like at Dunder Mifflin - I wish I was kidding) will be meeting to discuss WAKKI ideas for Red Nose Day. I have as many ideas as I have fucks to give, but on the other hand, the longer the meeting lasts the longer it gets me off the phones. So I castrate myself on the mercy of your collective intellect. Go nuts.
Also good morning
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:10, 205 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
GET EVERYONE TO WEAR CHRISTMAS JUMPERS!(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:12,
Reply)
OoooooooohI like this. We could provide those sumo suits for non-fatties, levels the playing field and comes with sarcasm baked in.
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:18, Reply)
It would be fun informing the larger staff that they didn't require the sumo suit, and watching what little self respect they had drain away.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:29,
Reply)
excellent, thankshow's the sucking the cock of fat AND ugly internerds?
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:49, Reply)
what a lovely stable upbringing you're giving those poor frognerds(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:50,
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just seems a very odd thing to doto take them on holiday and then spend all your time frothing online.
he should have saved the "thousands and thousands" he spent on a kitchen, he'll need it to get anyone to take them off his hands in the future
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:54,
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and screen shotting comments *he* already deleted. he's a fucking weirdo fo' sho'BORED NOW.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:56,
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some people take photos on a family holidayothers choose to take screenshots of the internet, i guess.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:59,
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you white knight deleted, petthe rest of the thread is still there
mnnnng
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 12:44, Reply)
wow. enjoying your holiday so much you're checking back and replying 45 minutes later. (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 12:55,
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hay hay hay hay, I won't hear a bad word said about that potential series of events.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 12:53,
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you should ask old mrs rivershe'd probably be glad to get it from someone who isn't typing frantically over her hairy shoulder
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 13:04,
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cake baking competitionthen everyone pays a few quid to sample the cakes
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:14,
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SPONSORED MIDDLE MANAGEMENT BONUS SCHEME(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:15,
Reply)
everyone should get their cocks out and place a red nose on the endthe women can place two on their nipples and chain of about three red noses to cover their strange
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$$ ✅, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:15,
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not that fucking politethere's nothing strange about my fanny, thank you very much
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:20,
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Sponsored 'fifty egg' challenge like that bit in Cool Hand Luke.(
Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:18,
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But with the eggs being aimed at their mouths with pool cues like that bit in The Hustler
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:19, Reply)
or jammed up their butter-greased arselike that bit in Last Tango In Paris
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:21, Reply)
Or expanded to gigantic size and used to run over two elderly relatives whilst populated by an army of insectslike that bit in James and the Giant Peach
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:27, Reply)
I just found my childhood copy of thatThe illustrations are fucking terrifying
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:31, Reply)
I like this, but depending on your colleagues pool skills, it might take longer than half an hour to get the eggs in.(
Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:22,
Reply)
Someone actually suggested, for Valentine'sa MAN AUCTION
I'm trying to imagine a circumstance in which tumbelweed would be more embarrassing
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:20, Reply)
upset online challengego into as many forums as possible and upset as many people in 24 hours
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$$ ✅, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:21,
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it's these drugs I take, right? They just get me so upset online...(
$$ ✅, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:24,
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Fair enough SSpanishfly, it's not like you do this all the time.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:24,
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tune in every saturday night for my regular online breakdownand also subscribe to my podcast: The Upsetest Person Online
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$$ ✅, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:25,
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Algernon Winstone Castleray Razzamatazz's second catchphrase failed to amuse...(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:47,
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SPONSORED REMAKE OF 'CYBERZONE' FEATURING CRAIG CHARLES(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:23,
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i am clicking 'i like this' on this comment(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:07,
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Suggest renaming it Red Ball Day to raise awareness of testicular cancer.All the blokes in the office should spend the day with their sacks out and painted bright red.
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.Yeti., Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:25,
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A 'Whogivesafuck-a-thon' where you all pay to not be involved in the waqqiness and have a normal day at work.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:26,
Reply)
This is literally the only thing more depressing than enforced wakkinessbut that probably says a lot about my workplace
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:28, Reply)
Why not have a monkey bike race?Get a tiny bicycle, setup a course around the desks with ramps and stuff and get everyone to do a time trial. Winner gets some shit cake or a day off or something. Lose gets gunged. Put bets on or something and all the losing bets go to charity.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:41,
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Sponsored 'shoot seagulls with an air rifle'It'll be like clay pigeon shooting for the inner city folk.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:43,
Reply)
the guy that sweeps up outside the office will fucking love that.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:46,
Reply)
The pigeons will eat the seagullsI have seen exactly this outside our office window where two of them fought over a dead seagull until its head fell off
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:48,
Reply)
Fit birds dress sluttythis isn't a suggestion it's more a stream of consciousness thing.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:47,
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Morning DarthPunch people in the face. Red nose sorted
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:47,
Reply)
Not too bad, just fucking busyHad a day off yesterday and still ended up working from 6:30pm until 11pm and then again from 6am this morning. Still, cash
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:52,
Reply)
Not bad ta mate. Also busy, eating up overtime like it's some kind of incredibly realistic vegetarian bacon equivalentDrinking too much, wanking a LOT. Standard
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:00, Reply)
are you still veggie?thought you'd have ditched that by now
also speaking of bent vegetarians, where is tangles these days?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:03,
Reply)
Some of us have resolve ;-)To be fair fucking EVERYONE thought I'd get back on the flesh when I shaved the beard. It's only sheer bloody-minded determination to prove people wrong that keeps me going. That and principles.
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:09, Reply)
imma have lunch from eat todaychilli non carne soup - lovely, packed full of tasty beans - and a falafel/houmous wrap. FIT. you would approve.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:19,
Reply)
Yes. Yes I would.I've got homemade minestrone soup with enough chilli to put a hole in the world
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:29, Reply)
i like chillijalapenos improve EVERYTHING
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:30,
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*drinking too much fives*You still running?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:11,
Reply)
Not so much since I moved backI put this down to cold weather, the existence of hills in this part of the world, and laziness. Have been down the gym a lot though. Your good self?
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:13, Reply)
Not as much as I'd like toSpent all day yesterday walking round Beamish with the kids so no run last night. Off out for 5 miles or so tonight
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:27,
Reply)
Thanks, I've just had them polished(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:55,
Reply)
I was out a few weeks ago doing the parkrun on a Saturday morningIt was so icy you could barely get up the hills
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:55,
Reply)
You realise you can have real bacon now, yeah?And steak. And a Roast lamb dinner. And Veal escalopes. And Foie Gras.
Not all at once, obviously.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:11,
Reply)
The life of a geordie street walker is not an easy one, especially on the early shift(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:07, Reply)
Morning Foxy, how about a full day of faultless grammar and pronunciationPound in a jar for any mistakes. You'd make a fortune round here:ah fort ah seen im dahn asdas last satday but ah dint. it were well gay
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Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 10:50,
Reply)
I'm choosing to interpret this as flirtingThat's a smashing blouse you're wearing
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:03, Reply)
YER! TITS!!! WAHEYYYY!!!! PWOARRR!! ETC!!!!(
Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:24,
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Exactly. Talking about tits and birds is my favourite thing.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:25,
Reply)
YES! I also like to mention slightly past it women who I still 'would'
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:30,
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*avoids obvious response as I quite like rachelswipe*(
Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:32,
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put the tissues and baby oil away bonz, I didn't mean like that(
Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:35,
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oh manimma volunteer you for the 50 shades of red
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:36,
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you don't know that(
Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:43,
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I do, I'm well accustomed to the visual filth that is Internet women. (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:44,
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soz bbzI'm quite sure meaty is punching well above his weight
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Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:44,
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That appears to be a common interpretation round here(
Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:23,
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Thanks sweetie!*flutters eyelashes*
*guffs loudly*
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Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:27,
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I like this.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:18,
Reply)
Something that wastes lots of food. Nothing says 'helping people who don't live somewhere food is either growable or obtainable' like wasting food.
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Muns, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:07,
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50 shades of red. Tie the office totty to a desk, butt naked. Then charge people £5 to spank her, £20 for a blowjob and £50 for full sex.
As it's for charity, peer pressure will probably get her to agree to this.
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Muns, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:11,
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What can I get for......2.67 and I think this is a dryer token.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:13,
Reply)
I'm sure Darth can resist the peer pressure(
Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:25,
Reply)
Right now I'd throw it up anything willingTits preferred, pulse optional
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:42, Reply)
Get one of those dating apps and stick that as your bio and you're bound to get....er....something(
Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:46,
Reply)
You mean that's not what this site's for?I figured this conversation counts as our first date
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:49, Reply)
It does? Oh okay...*puts out*(
Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:50,
Reply)
Hey, woah, slow down there cowgirlAt least wait till I'm in groping distance
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:54, Reply)
Woah Cowgirl is at least a 3rd date positioneveryone knows that 1st date is bent over a bin
(, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 12:15, Reply)
Sponsored finger the secretary in the stationery cupboard.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:27,
Reply)
A moving cupboard would be more of a challenge, no?(
Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:30,
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Hang on, I've just noticed I have a 'fan' on hereSeems a bit creepy, anyone else got any?
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Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:49,
Reply)
No surprise there thenI have a Yeti
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Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:51,
Reply)
A Ghettoblaster Yeti(
Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 12:56,
Reply)
ah, he's busy ignoring me i think, don't imagine he's going to be a fan of mine :((
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 12:57,
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1 person for memight start going mental and adding loads of people
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$$ ✅, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 11:57,
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me and beefy are friends now according to the internet so take that society's values
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$$ ✅, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 12:53,
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i'm going to celebrate this by writing some sitcom erotic fan fiction (
$$ ✅, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 12:57,
Reply)
I don't actually know what she's on about.I just wanted to take part
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 18 Feb 2015, 12:13,
Reply)
I figured it out. I've got 7 fans. take that.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 18 Feb 2015, 12:20,
Reply)
It's doubly creepy on here because there is no 'fan' button like there is on the rest of the stie; and I think you only post here.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 12:23,
Reply)
I've got two but but they both left yonks ago.(
Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 12:44,
Reply)
https://uk.news.yahoo.com/storm-brewing-over-tea-cup-tips-155307614.html#CgIQ2Zq
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 18 Feb 2015, 12:40,
Reply)
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