In before the deLOLtion
Nerr nerrr!!
where's DBT? Let's speculate.

alt. Who do you miss?
altalt. Who do you wish would fuck right off?
altaltalt. recent discoveries
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 14:56, 153 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

I miss the rains down in Africa

(lol man river definite greek god, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 14:57, Reply)

I don't think we're in Kansas anymore

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:11, Reply)

no, someone else's as, probably

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:16, Reply)

That woman who posted about her tits a lot.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 14:58, Reply)

Terrible bullying of b3th

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:00, Reply)

prolly lurking avoiding the howwible bullies
alt: rory
altalt: Dozer, obvs.
altaltalt: some people on here are gayer than they make out
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:03, Reply)

under the floorboards of the gents toilets
alt: naked ape naked ape
altalt: ed miliband, david cameron, nigel farage, nicola sturgeon, nick clegg, natalie bennett and that welsh twat
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:03, Reply)

what's wrong with the welsh bird?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:04, Reply)

she's a politician
i don't like any of the current lot
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:23, Reply)

I thought she seemed quite genuine; If I lived in Wales she'd get my vote.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:43, Reply)

Don't care
alt: nakers and rory
altalt: no one
altaltalt: balans
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:05, Reply)

Jesus H. Christ to all

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:06, Reply)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-32533478
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:14, Reply)

spoilsports.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:16, Reply)

I think the street values they mention are all a bunch of bollocks.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:19, Reply)

Aye. 3 tonnes isn't going to be worth fuck all though.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:22, Reply)

it's a lot of coke, aye

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:55, Reply)

Don't know who that is.
Alt: Fenris, Flapjack, FluffehNinja, and other /talk people.
AltAlt: you, or Gonz.
AltAltAlt: this board not being quite as awful as I thought.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:16, Reply)

What's wrong with gonz you spastic?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:18, Reply)

I've never liked him, and I'm not about to start now.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:19, Reply)

hey, come on now, don't be like that

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:20, Reply)

I've always been like this.
Taking him off Ignore was probably where I went wrong.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:22, Reply)

DUNNO WHO YOU ARE SOZ

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:23, Reply)

some noob
offer him a piece of nommy cyake, he'll like that
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:24, Reply)

how dare you not like someone, stop having opinions

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:28, Reply)

Tell me what to think, meatm8.
I'm struggling to fit in.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:30, Reply)

i don't think you're allowed to dislike someone other people like, it upsets their friends :'('''''''''''''''

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:33, Reply)

Try more lube

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:41, Reply)

I saw Fenris in the Real World a while back
He's still lovely.
(lol man river definite greek god, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:59, Reply)

Hurrah!
I don't know any b3tans in real life. Probably for the best.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:34, Reply)

at least 8% of the ones I've met have been "alright"

(lol man river definite greek god, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:59, Reply)

What is McBeef doing! Delolte already!

( Peej, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:33, Reply)

toksvig's leaving the News Quiz.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:33, Reply)

Gay

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:37, Reply)

The rumour mill suggests Sue Perkins might be the new host.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:43, Reply)

gay

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:46, Reply)

Toksvig did very well, as host, although Hoggart had set the bar very low.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:54, Reply)

A lot of people didn't like Toksvig but I thought she was alright.
Calman and Hardy recently guest-hosted. Hardy is too good a panellist to host imo.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:55, Reply)

Clarkson could do it.

(lol man river definite greek god, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:13, Reply)

fuck that.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:13, Reply)

he'd bring some much-needed political balance to what is basically a leftist propaganda machine

(lol man river definite greek god, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:16, Reply)

That's Bob Mills' job.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:21, Reply)

Yeah, Hardy should stay put.
I'm a little sick of Calman (her "I'm gay and love cats" routine is almost as annoying as Shappi Khorsandi's "my parents are Iranian and I hate my ex-husband"). Hope they don't go down the HIGNFY route, though.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:20, Reply)

khorsandi has somehow made a career out of a fifteen minute stand-up routine
It's PC gone mad
(lol man river definite greek god, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:21, Reply)

I saw her live, she was good and had at least 20 minutes of material.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:22, Reply)

I must have gone for a piss for that extra five minutes

(lol man river definite greek god, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:23, Reply)

Her divorce must have been a real blessing, gifting her with 10 minutes of new material.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:39, Reply)

Her 'I'm Iranian' routine isn't any better than Omid's.
In fairness Calman sometimes mentions Greggs as well.

Holly Walsh, Lucy Porter or Danielle Ward would all be alright if we're only talking women.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:08, Reply)

Lucy Porter is fucking great
And I find her quite sexually attractive
(lol man river definite greek god, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:12, Reply)

And me.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:14, Reply)

I don't find you sexually attractive

(lol man river definite greek god, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:36, Reply)

Will she be able to fit it in around her Top Gear duties?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:03, Reply)

and all that celebrity lezzing

(lol man river definite greek god, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:05, Reply)

Toksvig managed to...

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:10, Reply)

And she played the role of both Dimbleby brothers.

(lol man river definite greek god, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:12, Reply)

I recently discovered that Dozer is Baggenfock

( Peej, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:42, Reply)

sad news

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:46, Reply)

he's only one of them
the other one is an actual paedophile from Reading or Basingstoke or sutin
(lol man river definite greek god, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:00, Reply)

dbt is in talks with Tim Martin about a Wethergpsurgeries for the US market. sort of like a Betty ford clinic but very much with booze

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:45, Reply)

with Tim Martin about a Wethergpsurgeries for the US market. sort of like a Betty ford clinic but very much with booze about buying b3ta
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:49, Reply)

I hate goodness. I hate purity. I don't want virtue to exist anywhere.
I want everyone corrupt.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:53, Reply)

Fuck off Baggenfock

( Peej, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:56, Reply)

you sound a bit upset pal

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:57, Reply)

to the bones.

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:15, Reply)

I hope 'Bill Clay' is okay

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:01, Reply)

And Tangled should be on his train home now, worrying that he hasn't checked in.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:03, Reply)

Gaylord.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:03, Reply)

I knew that would summon you from the depths, so predictable and well jell.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:04, Reply)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-32531004
(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:12, Reply)

ex-regular Bud was stuck in that
train commuting is grimmer than grim
(lol man river definite greek god, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:16, Reply)

I think it's better than car commuting.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:19, Reply)

less opportunity to kill cyclists on a train

(lol man river definite greek god, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:20, Reply)

Good grief.
Another reminder, as if I needed one, as to why I don't miss taking the train into Lahndon in the morning.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:26, Reply)

I liked Bill. Stand up guy.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:54, Reply)

^ grooming

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:54, Reply)

helping police with enquiries about the prostitution ring operating out of the shed in the beer garden
alt: Roota and Colonel Dracula (at least I think that was his username, owned chickens if that narrows it down).

altalt: nobody

altaltalt: the rusty nail cocktail, very nice indeed.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:19, Reply)

I thought you would need more than a shed for it to become a ring.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:23, Reply)

the voice of experience

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:26, Reply)

I put up a shed last week.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:27, Reply)

A SEX SHED!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:31, Reply)

I can smell it now

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:32, Reply)

can you be sure it wasn't for the purposes of sex trafficking?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:31, Reply)

Yeah, it was a bit to small for that, 8 foot by 4foot.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:33, Reply)

that's enough space for at least three dwarf hookers

(lol man river definite greek god, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:06, Reply)

they would all be grumpy

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:21, Reply)

The trustee in bankruptcy has forced him to flog his PC and his phone has been disconnected for non-payment.
No-one.
No-one.
Crime against christians is victimless as they have to accept your flaws and forgive you.
( Muns, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:40, Reply)

eggs

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:42, Reply)

I like eggs

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:45, Reply)

DBT killed his wife, raped his daughter and then burned down his pub.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:44, Reply)

classic DBT!

( $$ ✅, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:52, Reply)

He's been caught writing out scripts for methadone for himself.
The police first noticed when he'd visit the pharmacist, but rather than swallow the methadone, he'd spit it into a container hidden inside his coat. It was later discovered that he'd put it into his customers drinks, causing them to develope an addiction and unnatural attraction to his boozer.

He claimed in court 'It was the only way to avoid bankruptcy after the life insurance policy on my family failed to pay up!'
( Muns, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:53, Reply)

He's gone to a better place I imagine
alt: Chickenlady!
altalt: the guy at work who thinks I broke his code but he's just shit.
altaltalt: Shoot from the hip! improv comedy chaps. Jolly good. Also raclette cheese on a burger is fucking awesome.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:04, Reply)

oo ... might do a raclette tonight

(lol man river definite greek god, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:07, Reply)

it's a cheese AND a meal

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:12, Reply)

but mostly cheese

(lol man river definite greek god, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:17, Reply)

Whatever happened to Chickenlady anyway?
I have had too much coffee and it feels like I have put my stomach in the autoclave.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:11, Reply)

she got bored of the shitflinging on qotw

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:20, Reply)

Oh.
Now I am disappoint.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 18:02, Reply)

I think my stinging eyes are down to my Garnier hand cream. Not meant for face.
Every breath I take it hurts.
Don't stand so close to me.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:48, Reply)

silly jayson, vicks is not bonjela

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:51, Reply)

IT'S A PRETTY EXCITING LUBRICANT THOUGH!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:57, Reply)

you fucking beast

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:59, Reply)

Every time I see house DJ Laurent Garnier mentioned I start thinking shampoo.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:52, Reply)

crispy bacon is a right tune

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:53, Reply)

GWARN TOSH
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdNnDAD8Xg0&feature=youtu.be
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:55, Reply)

garnier's also a proper junglist

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 18:00, Reply)