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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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In before the deLOLtion
Nerr nerrr!!
where's DBT? Let's speculate.

alt. Who do you miss?
altalt. Who do you wish would fuck right off?
altaltalt. recent discoveries
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 14:56, 153 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
I miss the rains down in Africa

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 14:57, Reply)
I don't think we're in Kansas anymore

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:11, Reply)
no, someone else's as, probably

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:16, Reply)
That woman who posted about her tits a lot.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 14:58, Reply)
Terrible bullying of b3th

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:00, Reply)
prolly lurking avoiding the howwible bullies
alt: rory
altalt: Dozer, obvs.
altaltalt: some people on here are gayer than they make out
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:03, Reply)
under the floorboards of the gents toilets
alt: naked ape naked ape
altalt: ed miliband, david cameron, nigel farage, nicola sturgeon, nick clegg, natalie bennett and that welsh twat
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:03, Reply)
what's wrong with the welsh bird?

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:04, Reply)
she's a politician
i don't like any of the current lot
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:23, Reply)
I thought she seemed quite genuine; If I lived in Wales she'd get my vote.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:43, Reply)
Don't care
alt: nakers and rory
altalt: no one
altaltalt: balans
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:05, Reply)
Jesus H. Christ to all

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:06, Reply)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-32533478
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:14, Reply)
spoilsports.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:16, Reply)
I think the street values they mention are all a bunch of bollocks.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:19, Reply)
Aye. 3 tonnes isn't going to be worth fuck all though.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:22, Reply)
it's a lot of coke, aye

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:55, Reply)
Don't know who that is.
Alt: Fenris, Flapjack, FluffehNinja, and other /talk people.
AltAlt: you, or Gonz.
AltAltAlt: this board not being quite as awful as I thought.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:16, Reply)
What's wrong with gonz you spastic?

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:18, Reply)
I've never liked him, and I'm not about to start now.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:19, Reply)
hey, come on now, don't be like that

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:20, Reply)
I've always been like this.
Taking him off Ignore was probably where I went wrong.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:22, Reply)
DUNNO WHO YOU ARE SOZ

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:23, Reply)
some noob
offer him a piece of nommy cyake, he'll like that
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:24, Reply)
how dare you not like someone, stop having opinions

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:28, Reply)
Tell me what to think, meatm8.
I'm struggling to fit in.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:30, Reply)
i don't think you're allowed to dislike someone other people like, it upsets their friends :'('''''''''''''''

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:33, Reply)
Try more lube

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:41, Reply)
I saw Fenris in the Real World a while back
He's still lovely.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:59, Reply)
Hurrah!
I don't know any b3tans in real life. Probably for the best.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:34, Reply)
at least 8% of the ones I've met have been "alright"

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:59, Reply)
What is McBeef doing! Delolte already!

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:33, Reply)
toksvig's leaving the News Quiz.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:33, Reply)
Gay

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:37, Reply)
The rumour mill suggests Sue Perkins might be the new host.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:43, Reply)
gay

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:46, Reply)
Toksvig did very well, as host, although Hoggart had set the bar very low.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:54, Reply)
A lot of people didn't like Toksvig but I thought she was alright.
Calman and Hardy recently guest-hosted. Hardy is too good a panellist to host imo.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:55, Reply)
Clarkson could do it.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:13, Reply)
fuck that.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:13, Reply)
he'd bring some much-needed political balance to what is basically a leftist propaganda machine

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:16, Reply)
That's Bob Mills' job.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:21, Reply)
Yeah, Hardy should stay put.
I'm a little sick of Calman (her "I'm gay and love cats" routine is almost as annoying as Shappi Khorsandi's "my parents are Iranian and I hate my ex-husband"). Hope they don't go down the HIGNFY route, though.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:20, Reply)
khorsandi has somehow made a career out of a fifteen minute stand-up routine
It's PC gone mad
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:21, Reply)
I saw her live, she was good and had at least 20 minutes of material.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:22, Reply)
I must have gone for a piss for that extra five minutes

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:23, Reply)
Her divorce must have been a real blessing, gifting her with 10 minutes of new material.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:39, Reply)
Her 'I'm Iranian' routine isn't any better than Omid's.
In fairness Calman sometimes mentions Greggs as well.

Holly Walsh, Lucy Porter or Danielle Ward would all be alright if we're only talking women.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:08, Reply)
Lucy Porter is fucking great
And I find her quite sexually attractive
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:12, Reply)
And me.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:14, Reply)
I don't find you sexually attractive

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:36, Reply)
Will she be able to fit it in around her Top Gear duties?

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:03, Reply)
and all that celebrity lezzing

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:05, Reply)
Toksvig managed to...

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:10, Reply)
And she played the role of both Dimbleby brothers.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:12, Reply)
I recently discovered that Dozer is Baggenfock

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:42, Reply)
sad news

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:46, Reply)
he's only one of them
the other one is an actual paedophile from Reading or Basingstoke or sutin
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:00, Reply)
dbt is in talks with Tim Martin about a Wethergpsurgeries for the US market. sort of like a Betty ford clinic but very much with booze

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:45, Reply)

with Tim Martin about a Wethergpsurgeries for the US market. sort of like a Betty ford clinic but very much with booze about buying b3ta
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:49, Reply)
I hate goodness. I hate purity. I don't want virtue to exist anywhere.
I want everyone corrupt.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:53, Reply)
Fuck off Baggenfock

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:56, Reply)
you sound a bit upset pal

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 15:57, Reply)
to the bones.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:15, Reply)
I hope 'Bill Clay' is okay

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:01, Reply)
And Tangled should be on his train home now, worrying that he hasn't checked in.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:03, Reply)
Gaylord.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:03, Reply)
I knew that would summon you from the depths, so predictable and well jell.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:04, Reply)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-32531004
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:12, Reply)
ex-regular Bud was stuck in that
train commuting is grimmer than grim
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:16, Reply)
I think it's better than car commuting.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:19, Reply)
less opportunity to kill cyclists on a train

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:20, Reply)
Good grief.
Another reminder, as if I needed one, as to why I don't miss taking the train into Lahndon in the morning.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:26, Reply)
I liked Bill. Stand up guy.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:54, Reply)
^ grooming

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:54, Reply)
helping police with enquiries about the prostitution ring operating out of the shed in the beer garden
alt: Roota and Colonel Dracula (at least I think that was his username, owned chickens if that narrows it down).

altalt: nobody

altaltalt: the rusty nail cocktail, very nice indeed.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:19, Reply)
I thought you would need more than a shed for it to become a ring.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:23, Reply)
the voice of experience

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:26, Reply)
I put up a shed last week.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:27, Reply)
A SEX SHED!

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:31, Reply)
I can smell it now

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:32, Reply)
can you be sure it wasn't for the purposes of sex trafficking?

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:31, Reply)
Yeah, it was a bit to small for that, 8 foot by 4foot.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:33, Reply)
that's enough space for at least three dwarf hookers

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:06, Reply)
they would all be grumpy

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:21, Reply)
The trustee in bankruptcy has forced him to flog his PC and his phone has been disconnected for non-payment.
No-one.
No-one.
Crime against christians is victimless as they have to accept your flaws and forgive you.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:40, Reply)
eggs

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:42, Reply)
I like eggs

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:45, Reply)
DBT killed his wife, raped his daughter and then burned down his pub.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:44, Reply)
classic DBT!

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:52, Reply)
He's been caught writing out scripts for methadone for himself.
The police first noticed when he'd visit the pharmacist, but rather than swallow the methadone, he'd spit it into a container hidden inside his coat. It was later discovered that he'd put it into his customers drinks, causing them to develope an addiction and unnatural attraction to his boozer.

He claimed in court 'It was the only way to avoid bankruptcy after the life insurance policy on my family failed to pay up!'
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 16:53, Reply)
He's gone to a better place I imagine
alt: Chickenlady!
altalt: the guy at work who thinks I broke his code but he's just shit.
altaltalt: Shoot from the hip! improv comedy chaps. Jolly good. Also raclette cheese on a burger is fucking awesome.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:04, Reply)
oo ... might do a raclette tonight

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:07, Reply)
it's a cheese AND a meal

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:12, Reply)
but mostly cheese

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:17, Reply)
Whatever happened to Chickenlady anyway?
I have had too much coffee and it feels like I have put my stomach in the autoclave.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:11, Reply)
she got bored of the shitflinging on qotw

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:20, Reply)
Oh.
Now I am disappoint.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 18:02, Reply)
I think my stinging eyes are down to my Garnier hand cream. Not meant for face.
Every breath I take it hurts.
Don't stand so close to me.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:48, Reply)
silly jayson, vicks is not bonjela

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:51, Reply)
IT'S A PRETTY EXCITING LUBRICANT THOUGH!

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:57, Reply)
you fucking beast

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:59, Reply)
Every time I see house DJ Laurent Garnier mentioned I start thinking shampoo.

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:52, Reply)
crispy bacon is a right tune

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:53, Reply)
GWARN TOSH
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdNnDAD8Xg0&feature=youtu.be
(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 17:55, Reply)
garnier's also a proper junglist

(, Thu 30 Apr 2015, 18:00, Reply)

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