holidays
not long til I go off to palma with some girlfriends, then a holiday with the snake later on. any holidays planned? any holidays you'd recommend for another poster?

alt: it's about time tangles released another record. let's have some song title/cover suggestions for the yurtsmiths.

altalt: something food related....... best restaurant you've ever been to?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:39, 119 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I'm going on my holibobidoodahs on Saturday!!!!!
Alt: Working title is currently six mile cross

Altalt: The best food I have ever eaten came from a takeaway, not a restaurant.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:45, Reply)

I think there's only you and me here, rach

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:47, Reply)

Or possibly just me now

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:48, Reply)

I'm here, babe
I'm always here....
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:51, Reply)

I know, but I consider us to be as one.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:52, Reply)

natch x

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:53, Reply)

Off to Scotland in summer
nice log cabin in the middle of nowhere, no phone signal, peace, quiet and whisky.

alt: "everybody yurts"

altalt: Argentinian steakhouse in Benelmadena, best steak ever.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:49, Reply)

I was up in Scotchlandworld last week...
It was a whisky trip for a mate's 40th. Stayed right next to the Glenlivet distillery, I can vouch for the lack of phone signal and whisky (not all theirs, because there's far better out there...)
(Twangy Rubber, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:21, Reply)

Might go to Rome later in the year, it's just the small matter of the bill
Alt: An all-folk cover of Slayer's Reign In Blood
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:50, Reply)

ALL folk???
It's crazy enough to work
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:51, Reply)

Not just a bit folk
100% FOLK
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:52, Reply)

GO FOLK YOURSELF
I JUST FOLKED YOUR MOTHER
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:52, Reply)

My mother played in a folk band once
Yeah, what do you think about that?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:54, Reply)

disgusting

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:58, Reply)

My Dad's in one
I've probably mentioned that before. They're called Feckless.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:58, Reply)

Yeah you did, but I forgot

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:00, Reply)

He hits a drum with a stick
and sits on a box and its the sides of it with his hands. I'm totally convinced that a chimp could replace him in the band and no one would notice.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:03, Reply)

I see, this in part explains why you formed a band with baldmonkey

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:05, Reply)

He's my step-dad in all honesty
but your point still stands
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:07, Reply)

I'm glad you were able to finally admit the truth here.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:13, Reply)

I'm too old to keep lying, Tangs
Let it all hang out, that's what I say
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:16, Reply)

I hear you, hombre.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:17, Reply)

Possibly only Monty gets this 'joke'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:18, Reply)

not without the help of a small blue tablet though

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:14, Reply)

I fully endorse this well timed and perfectly executed knob gag

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:15, Reply)

Hey, here's a true and quite dull anecdote
We once went to see Slayer perform Reign in Blood IN ITS ENTIRETY down in that London, where we met up with the lovely Al, formerly of this parish.
I shall be signing copies of this anecdote in the foyer later on.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:59, Reply)

I'll buy one

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:02, Reply)

Al and me are President Assad impersonators

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:14, Reply)

lolidays more like

(lol man river definite greek god, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:53, Reply)

I'm going to Bristol in July. That's my holiday.
Alt: He should do a song about a stone, a 'Folk Stone' you could say.
Altalt: The omelette cafe down the road. The green one on the corner.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:56, Reply)

I have never eaten an omelette in a restaurant
Maybe I should. What fillings do they do?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:59, Reply)

Egg. Just egg.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 21 May 2015, 10:59, Reply)

those monsters

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:02, Reply)

Haha I was trolling you!
They do all sorts, but I have cheese, bacon and sausage. Sometimes I get an extra complete sausage on the side for a treat.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:03, Reply)

You rascal!
I love a chicken & mushroom omelete, as perverse as that is
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:07, Reply)

You're thinking of pies again aren't you?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:09, Reply)

I'm ALWAYS thinking of pies
but a c&m omelette is a thing of godless beauty
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:10, Reply)

u r mentl

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:11, Reply)

Mmmmm. Pies
*drools*
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:14, Reply)

Steak & Kidney for me
Just magnificent
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:18, Reply)

Now, there's a debate to be had here
Are you more in the 'steamed suet pudding' style of Steak & Kidney pie camp? Or are you more of a shortcut pastry top man? There's also the flaky/puff pastry top style. Where do you stand on this important issue?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:23, Reply)

Flaky's my favourite
Followed by shortcrust, then pudding last.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:41, Reply)

I just don't care! I'll say anything, me!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:17, Reply)

If the h8rs don't like it they can just jolly well not read it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:24, Reply)

Then you have clearly never been a vegetarian eating out in France.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:01, Reply)

You know me so well x

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:02, Reply)

fuck off Elaine

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:06, Reply)

oooh! ooooh!
Dexys Midnight Runners 'fucking shit' follow up to 'Come on Eileen' was rubbish or something.

HAHA!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhh......memes!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:10, Reply)

ooooh! ooooh!
Stings 'fucking shit' follow up to 'Englishman In New York' was rubbish or something.

HAHA!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhh......memes!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:09, Reply)

My falafels were a triumph, btw
To be fair, I've made them before, but there were 4 clear plates at Casa De Hats
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:18, Reply)

It's all about the rebranding.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:19, Reply)

It sure is

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:42, Reply)

i heard that if you castrate a dog
you will find falafels
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:21, Reply)

If a falafels in the forest and there is no one around, does it make a sound?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:26, Reply)

Dont think I am going to have a proper holiday this year just many little breaks
Jamaica was a great holiday, and I really enjoyed doing a scenic tour of the ancient sites of Northumbria last year, just packed the car up with the missus and the dog and went off find hotel for the night then move on,

alt: He could do a folk cover of All Along the Watchtower but with a harmonica instead of the guitar riff.

Altx2 food is food, if somewhere does a good steak then I am happy
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:04, Reply)

Alt: That could never work

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:14, Reply)

Crazy idea soz

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:15, Reply)

Already been to South Africa this year, I can thoroughly recommend it
Might do a cheeky week in the UK - Torbay area - later on.

Alt: Yurts so good.

Altalt: The Mahogany room in Melbourne casino or the (old) Hotel Rus in Kiev
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:06, Reply)

"cheeky"

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:14, Reply)

came here to say "everybody yurts"
DAMN YOU LOCALBOY
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:09, Reply)

slower than me?
that's gotta hurt
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:13, Reply)

h Y
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:13, Reply)

I'm spending a week near Wales, during the summer. Dunno where, I didn't really engage with the whole booking process.
My favourite restaurant is the Coconut Garden, which is just the other side of town. We don't go there enough, but whenever we do, the waitress spends the evening verbally abusing me - the joke's worn a bit thin, now, but who am I to deny her such a simple pleasure?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:13, Reply)

It's so big it yurts, but I kinda like it.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:15, Reply)

Well seeing as how all the other entries to the alt competition were based on replacing the word 'hurt' with 'yurt', I declare MEATSNAKE to be the winner.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:21, Reply)

The best thing about it is that, if you think about it....
....it could really work....
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:23, Reply)

How about a NIN cover?
'Yurt'
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:24, Reply)

Deeply Hippy/Right Said The Grateful Dead
?
(Twangy Rubber, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:30, Reply)

Too late, Frog has already taken the prize.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:32, Reply)

/tantrum

(Twangy Rubber, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:42, Reply)

Eerrrr Mine wasnt
I want a prize too
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:52, Reply)

No.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:53, Reply)

what is (communal) love?
baby don't yurt me
no more
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:21, Reply)

Went to Iceland last month.
Going to Inverness for a 'Leo Sayer' with the LADS in June.

Would recommend Iceland. I went South-East to look at things, will have to go back and look at some of the stuff in the North at some point.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:29, Reply)

I've been much more tempted to go since kerry katona stopped doing the adverts.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:37, Reply)

Just booked our holiday a couple of days ago for me and the kids in the Dominican Republic.
My delightful ex-wife and I engaged in an email conversation, which went something like this:

Her: I hear you've booked your hols. That's good. Are you sure it's safe?
Me: Er...it's the Dominican Republic, not Afghanistan. Think Thomson's rather than Dignitas.
Her: Ah. Ok. Oh yes, it's dodgy tummies or something you get there though, isn't it?
Me: Well it's all-inclusive 4-star, so I certainly hope not.
Her: Wasn't it really expensive?
Me: .....

Even after knowing her for 20+ years, her daftness never ceases to amaze me. Firstly it's unsafe, then there's prolific food poisoning, then it's really expensive. Make up your bloody mind would you?

Why would it be unsafe, unhygienic AND expensive? That sounds like a pretty shit business model.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 21 May 2015, 11:30, Reply)

I ent no psychologist or anything like that but I reckon she's just fishing for reasons to object innit.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:33, Reply)

She's not really in a position to object, she just likes to make herself feel better by attempting to belittle others, usually me.
The kids were pissing themselves laughing when I told them.

She got her living room all re-done a couple of months ago. When I first saw it I was all "Yeah this is really nice, what a difference, it feels a lot lighter" etc.

When I knocked through from my living room to dining room, and totally re-decorated last year she stood and looked for a full 2 minutes before offering "Yeah...quite nice".
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 21 May 2015, 11:38, Reply)

unsafe, unhygienic AND expensive? That sounds like a pretty shit business model Thomas Cook.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:33, Reply)

Massive drugs at glastonbury

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:34, Reply)

Done and done

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:37, Reply)

i spent christmas day there one year when we did a cruise
there is an absolutely beautiful colonial hotel right on the beach, well worth a cocktail if you're over that way.

I realise this would be a lot more useful if I could remember the name. all I can say is, think proper Spanish style beautiful building and Caribbean beach.

#wants
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:50, Reply)

We're in Punta Cana, which is in the north east corner I think.
I know at least 2 people who have stayed in the same hotel who both say it's excellent, so it should be good.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 21 May 2015, 11:54, Reply)

Are you sure it's safe?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:55, Reply)

dodgy food there
and the locals will behead you if you are not careful
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:59, Reply)

Well hopefully they'll just get the beheading over and done with while I'm bent over retching into the thunderbox.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 21 May 2015, 12:01, Reply)

i only spent a few hours there
but it certainly looks beautiful. i suspect it's like anywhere else in the Caribbean - lovely on the surface, chilled out, gorgeous, but just common sense off the resort as there can be one or two pricks. my dickhead ex got a lot of abuse in barbados for being asian, and my friend sam and i got shoved into the road by a gang of girls in grenada (local girls don't like the tourists much because the local men try to shag them). but ignoring the very occasional common sense thing, it's AMAZING.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 May 2015, 12:13, Reply)

Yeah, don't really intend venturing too far from the pool anyway - maybe the odd day trip here and there.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 21 May 2015, 14:53, Reply)

I did all-inclusive in Dominican a few years ago
All good, except for the guys with sawn-off pump-action shotguns patrolling at the beach to keep the locals out of the resort. Kinda sobering
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 21 May 2015, 12:17, Reply)

We're going to stay at the in-laws house while they are away and do day trips.
Got a few work trips to some interesting places, so I'll probably just pretend I went with my family. I'll post pictures as proof, since impressing a buch of strangers on the internet is the only thing that matters in my life at the moment.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:33, Reply)

Johnny L - Yurt You So.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:33, Reply)

Off to Centerparcs in the summer holidays
Planning a trip to Gran Canaria/Lanzarote in October and have booked to go to Turkey next year

Alt:
PLEASE RELEASE ME

AltAlt:
I genuinely loved Tayyabs. Excellent food, lots of beer and a good laugh
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:34, Reply)

I used to love center parcs.
Half-cut rapids is fun.

My uncle used to refuse to rent bikes because 'there's always some twat who doesn't lock them up outside their cabin'.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:37, Reply)

It's like butlins for middle class people.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:38, Reply)

I love sitting outside when its dark with a glass of wine

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:39, Reply)

You know you can do that at home?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 May 2015, 11:58, Reply)

Maybe he lives on a submarine.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 21 May 2015, 12:00, Reply)

Fuck.
Earworm.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 May 2015, 12:03, Reply)

middle class working
+ with more money
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:40, Reply)

I splatted my nose open on that a few years ago
I have a nice scar across the bridge now. The accident book was great:

Sarah (4) - cut lip
Thomas (7) - black eye
Sporters (37) - fuckwit
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:39, Reply)

I have been to Thailand recently and I am flying First Class to San Francisco in October to do two weeks
touring yellowstone and the Utah valley. It's how I fucking roll.

Best bit, one night of Bristolian Passion with the mighty 'Snake.

I recommend that emvee takes a long walk off a short pier.

the meal I have most enjoyed is a place in Wapping called Il Bordello. They do a fillet steak in dolcelatte sauce that'll stop your heart. And a nice Barolo.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:42, Reply)

As a povvo supermarket worker
my dream is to fly long haul first class. Aim high, eh?

Maybe I should start a crowdfunder. Might work, if I promise not to come back.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 May 2015, 11:55, Reply)

£20 from me.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 21 May 2015, 12:02, Reply)

I can't really imagine the level of wealth that would lead to me spending a couple of grand to spend 10 hours in a slightly more comfortable seat.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 21 May 2015, 12:02, Reply)

If you buy some vallies you won't even notice what seat you're in.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 21 May 2015, 12:05, Reply)

fuck yeah, fuck the plebs
but i agree you get far more out of it for really long haul
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 May 2015, 12:09, Reply)

LADZ ON TOUR 2015 #BANTZ

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:55, Reply)

u r a fukn ledge, m8.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 21 May 2015, 12:02, Reply)

^ bant and dec ^

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 May 2015, 12:28, Reply)

probably Blackpool and Grimsby. all the b and bees near to the pleasure beach in Blackpool are great.
MacDonald's is the best restaurant or wetherspoons, all the ones in Blackpool are great.

I will probably get to Blackpool by bus.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:50, Reply)

^jelly of your Blackpool skillz

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:54, Reply)

I did a 4 week RV tour of the Californian coast road, it really was great.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 21 May 2015, 12:05, Reply)

Cruising is definitely worth doing, as long as you get a decent boat.
I wouldn't recommend a trip to Weston, though. It's an absolute shithole.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 May 2015, 11:58, Reply)

Aren't cruises shit and for old people?
I mean, I realise that is perfect for your needs, but still...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 May 2015, 11:59, Reply)

No, not at all.
At least, I don't think so. Certainly more designed for couples than LadzOnTour, but the one we were on had all sorts of ages.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 May 2015, 12:02, Reply)

cruising is great

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 21 May 2015, 12:05, Reply)

Isn't LadzOnTour more like Jaysum's cruising?

(Twangy Rubber, Thu 21 May 2015, 12:06, Reply)

I'm on holiday any time the sun shines

( Peej, Thu 21 May 2015, 12:27, Reply)