A place for the weary to rest this dark and wretched evening



Come on in, pull up a pew - I have just cracked open a rather cheeky bottle of mead and have extra glasses.

Shamanistic rituals have been performed to ward off ghost bees & mind weasels so your toast is safe from their spunky antics.

How are we all?
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 17:52, 219 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wheee
Let me innnnnnnnnn

Spag bol

Followed by copious amunts of tea

Watch the football

Go out a jog

Sleep
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 17:54, Reply)

I have had a busy day involving schools and cat vomit - in that order
Went and looked around a senior school this morning for the Nuggets - they loved the place mainly because the school takes part in a Lego version of Robot Wars each year and they've won for the last two years....My sons can't wait to join up.

The new cat (Basil) went back to the vet for another inoculation and decided to throw up in the car about five minutes into the journey. Nice.
After that he thought he'd add to the delightful aroma in the car by emptying his bowels onto a newspaper.
Lovely.

So all in all I've had a demanding day.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 17:57, Reply)

today
I was bored at work, so took a half day, got my hair cut and the barber and I spent the entire time telling each other sick jokes, mostly from the bumber b3ta book of said items!

I have drunk mead, and can vouch that it is bloody foul stuff.
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 18:04, Reply)

Shamanic, eh?
I met a guy recently who introduced himself as Eamon the Shaman. I wondered if he'd still be a shaman if his name was Eric.

Edit: note to self: remember to read last night's thread.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 18:10, Reply)

If you were called Eric
you'd have to be a viking really.

Or perhaps a man of the cloth....
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 18:37, Reply)

What... like
Eric Denim... or Eric Tweed?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 18:38, Reply)

Or (and I'm really sorry for this)
a half a bee.

uk.youtube.com/watch?v=F_-vxAFcQIU
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 18:40, Reply)

evening all
*salutes*

*manages not to glue fingers to head*

Just here briefly til my mum parks the broomstick ...

How is everyone?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 18:43, Reply)

@ No3L
No....

Eric the Cleric!


*sigh*

Evenin' Glue Lady.

*EDIT* I like the Half A Bee song!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 18:47, Reply)

Or you could go the opposite way
and become Eric the heretic.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 18:49, Reply)

Evening all
I'm debating between whether to write a polite but snotty letter to National Express East Coast regarding having to fork out £250 for the 'pleasure' of standing all the way from London to Newcastle on a crowded train last Wednesday; or putting up some shelves in the dining room.

Think the shelves are winning, if only because the collection of Daleks has been stuck in the shed for three months during renovations and I'm starting to miss their plastic knobbly aestheticism (is that a word? I know what I mean anyway).
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 18:53, Reply)

DG
Do the letter - you might get some money back...

And put up the daleks later once you've vented your spleen.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 18:56, Reply)

Eric the Cleric
Is. Just. Genius!

And with that I retire into Delia, cooking and wine. Later!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 18:59, Reply)

Hey chickenlady
I'm not really in spleen venting mode right now. However, I'm in tedious bullshit-bingo meetings for most of tomorrow, so that may set me up nicely once I get back to my desk :-)

Even if I get half my money back, it'll be something. The bastard on the desk didn't even acknowledge that the tube got stuck in a tunnel twice, it was "You'll have to buy new tickets, that's £250".

Not even a please, the cunt.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 18:59, Reply)

Om nom nom nom
Mead. Mmm.

I generally make a point of having it at Halloween but didn't this year.

And the ghost bees and mind weasels can't get me tonight, I have a goat wool hat.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:00, Reply)

British Rail employ a special kind of bastard don't they?
Complain to them most vocally and give 'em hell.

Glass o' mead coming your way Fuzzy :)
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:05, Reply)

'lo ancrenne
Just don't miss the train you are booked on is my advice...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:09, Reply)

Hello all
I'm having fun playing "TGB's Moral Dilemma Game"

It really is fun for all the family!!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:09, Reply)

Am off for a bit now
May pop back later. See y'all!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:14, Reply)

Evening all
Poor kitty chickenlady, great on the school though.

DG, that sucks big monkey balls!

Witchy, don't get your hand stuck, you may never be able to use it again.

Badger, what's up, anything we can help with?

Everybody else *Waves* heeelloooooooo.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:14, Reply)

What's your dilema
TGB?
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:15, Reply)

I've just seen Delia cook with frozen mash potatoes.
*faints*
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:32, Reply)

Moral Dilema I hear you say?
That's me personified if it made sense for an actual person to be personified in the first place or as something that is not, in fact, a person.

Aaaaaanyway - can we help?
( Captain V, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:34, Reply)

She did potato recipes that are quick and easy for today's busy lifestyle
I think I may buy the book.
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:37, Reply)

evening all...
Is there any spare mead for a newbie?
(etak, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:38, Reply)

BGB
If you do tell me if it's any good, then I may buy it too.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:39, Reply)

I've just found
that the Thomas Dolby version of the old Dan Hicks song "I Scare Myself" is actually very beautiful- slow, a bit melancholy, dreamy, surreal and a little bit menacing at times. I'm thoroughly impressed- I like it a LOT better than the original.

It's like Gary Jules remaking "Mad World". Hard to recognize it as the same song.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:41, Reply)

Loon
I didn't know you liked Dolby, I've got almost everything that he's done.

EDIT Hi Etak.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:44, Reply)

Evening Peeps
*distributes hugs*

I can't take too many more days like today:(
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:44, Reply)

I've very little of his stuff.
Some of what I've heard I didn't like, but other pieces are simply brilliant- "Airhead" is hilarious, as is "The Keys To Her Ferrari".

And then my iPod kicked this up:

the day my pad went MAD

I'm ankle deep in human waste
the toilet has been clogged
marrowbone jelly all over the place
I don't even have a dog
the man upstairs he grabs my arm
saying don't I know your dad
all I could hear were the fire alarms
the day my pad went MAD

all I could hear were the fire alarms
the day my pad went MAD

The kitchen has been ransacked
ski trails in the hall
a chicken has been dansacked
and thrown against the wall
in walks this dumb waiter
with a fountain pen and pad
saying how do you want this alligator
the day my pad went MAD

saying how do you want this alligator
the day my pad went MAD

The hamster had been slaugtered
the parrot bound and gagged
the guard dog had been sorted out
and absolutely shagged
the goldfish drowned, the cat was found
kicked around and stabbed
the radio did not make a sound
the day my pad went MAD

the radio did not make a sound
the day my pad went MAD

the pop-up toaster refused to pop
the chandelier was smashed
the starter motor would not stop
the tyres had been slashed
there was no way out of there
I was stuck with what I had
out of order, beyond repair
the day my pad went MAD

out of order, beyond repair
the day my pad went MAD

yesterday I had the place rewired
and slung out all of my junk
a tumble dryer and a two bar fire
and a telephone now defunct
I peeped through the venetian blinds
and the rain fell down so sad
on the broken home I left behind
the day my pad went MAD

on the broken home I left behind
the day my pad went MAD
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:48, Reply)

I'm here briefly before I go off to eat something
Basil the cat is well despite suffering travel sickness.

He behaved very well while being jabbed and didn't even make much fuss when his ears were being cleaned out. Sadly before we got him he'd lived on the streets for a while and was both painfully skinny and stinky too.
He now eats like a horse (yes, we've wormed him) and finds it hard to give up his scavenging.
However he is probably the most affectionate and chilled cat I've ever known.

Now I'm off to dodge him as I eat...he'll have the food out of your mouth given the chance.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:49, Reply)

Ah
John Cooper Clarke.

Great!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:51, Reply)

@ Herr Dok
Yay for John Cooper Clarke!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:52, Reply)

Earlier
it tossed out "Ibiza Bar" by Pink Floyd.

One of the designers informed me that I'm old.

Which would have disturbed me if he wasn't five years older than me.

EDIT: and now it's put up some early 90s Clapton. Guess I'd better load it with newer stuff tonight... I found that I have an album by the Donnas that I had forgotten about. Sweet!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:53, Reply)

@Loon
You are not old and your a damn sight more open -minded musically than most your age.

@ancrenne - some of those recipes were awfully nommtastic.
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:58, Reply)

True enough.
Tonight I'll have to watch this video at least once: www.youtube.com/watch?v=77rajWcysw0
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 19:59, Reply)

Eve Nin
Thought I'd wander in and see what's going on. Evenings at home are a rare and precious joy!

*prepares meal not made of takeaway or beer*
( thealternativefact, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:00, Reply)

Ooooh, it's clenders!
*huggles*

*flex*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:01, Reply)

@ etak
I'll be honest. I've had my fill - I charge your glass and offer my best.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:03, Reply)

Hi there, Beekers!
How ya doing? Had a bad day?
( thealternativefact, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:05, Reply)

Shocking!
New system at work, took a perfecly decent one and smashed it to bits. It's now far less intuitive, awkward and unnecessarily complex.

My colleague has worked really hard helping to roll it out over the last 6 months and I offended her when I told her, "Sorry, it's shit!"
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:07, Reply)

Bye ancrenne!
Enjoy!

Tell us if it's any good.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:09, Reply)

I never saw ancrenne as a bond fan.
Still....Daniel Craig in shorts.....Woo Yay!
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:11, Reply)

.
I quite enjoyed the first one.

But I liked Eva Green since she flashed her mimsy in The Dreamers.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:14, Reply)

Evening folks
how are we all?

Seems like it's been kind of quiet the last couple of days...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:15, Reply)

Hey Vipros
It has been a little bit quiet.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:16, Reply)

Evening All
Watching Friends gets you up the stick. FACT

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7707664.stm
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:19, Reply)

It's a good job I only watched Animal Magic when I was a teenager.
*phew*

Mind you, they didn't have sex on the telly when I was young. It wasn't invented then. Sex that is, not tv.
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:25, Reply)

I think that
the teenagers are getting so bored watching toss like Friend and Sex and the City that they shagged to relieve the tedium.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:28, Reply)

without having clicked the link
if you are a man who watches friends, which was on at 9pm on a friday night, you probably get a a snuggle fuck out of it from your tipsy girlfriend who is lulled by the soothing nature of the show into forgetting all your faults.
(sirolimus, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:37, Reply)

I think it's
that the people pushing the agenda of abstinence instead of contraception have pushed it a little too far.

Let's be serious- the only way to keep teenagers from fucking is to keep them separated by concrete walls and steel doors. Give them any freedom at all and they'll be fucking hard, anywhere they can. That's the way nature works. No one can stop that. Blaming it on TV is horseshit. Being open about sex and making sure that not only do they know to use contraception but have access to it is the only way to slow teen pregnancy.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:39, Reply)

Is it too late
for you to run for President Loon?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:42, Reply)

Evening again!
Friends is shit, and sex is good. That's probably what's driving them into bed...

And old music is better than new music. Fact. I mostly listen to music that dates from 15-20 years before I was born!

_{if you know what my new sig's from without Googling it, I'll buy you a pint at the next first bash I attend! Two pints if you'll admit to being a fan.}
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:46, Reply)

@Sam-i-am
It's either Father Ted or Black Books.

Edit - Loon for president....which means Fursty Ferrett for all. Woo!
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:51, Reply)

quote
father ted?
(sirolimus, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:51, Reply)

'fraid not, although I do love both of them
It's a song lyric that predates either of those programs by a good 20 odd years!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:52, Reply)

(All bow before Google...)
Son Of Sam I Am by Too Much Joy?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:53, Reply)

Nope
But respect for finding an album with the same name as my user name!

It's really not my sort of music so I'd never heard of em.

Going for a smoke now, answers on a postcard to the usual address :P
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:56, Reply)

I may
have to tell my kids that anal is like having stabilisers on your bike and you can only play in fanny town once you hit 21.

Or is that just deeply wrong?
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:57, Reply)

They'd never vote for me.
I'm a non-religious pagan sort who's far too practical for the position. I tend to want to cut through the bullshit, which upsets the bullshitters. Also, I'd run the country the same way I have dealt with my kids- willing to listen to a point, then telling them to shut the fuck up and do as I say if they won't use logic and reason.

I would get things done and cut a lot of the fluff and bullshit out of the process, but it would offend a lot of people. Can you imagine the Religious Right's reaction if it became law that kids got thorough sex ed and had access to contraceptives? I would be encouraging Sinful Behavior rather than trying to save their little souls! I would be giving in to the Debbil, Lor' save us all!

Gah. I'd better stop now before I start another rant...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:01, Reply)

The best bit of sex advice we gave my teenage sister.
You can have sex when you want to and we won't mind but only, and I repeat only if you are 100% ready to do it without any pressure from your partner and when your mentally ready to take responsibility for the chance you may become pregnant.

She's just over 18 and still a virgin. She would have told us if she wasn't.

BTW - we told her this when she was 13.
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:06, Reply)

@ BGB
Sensible advice there.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:09, Reply)

Is it something by IamX?
..although I doubt it.
(lost, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:10, Reply)

I'm back
And have no idea what is going on *looks confused*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:10, Reply)

Also
my housemate appears to be having sex upstairs
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:13, Reply)

Your ceiling
plus broom plus banging equals Epic WIN!
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:15, Reply)

hahaha
That made me choke on my cadbury shots but it was worth it :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:16, Reply)

Sam
It's Bernard Cribbn's Hole in the ground!

Hello again everybody.

People having sex Badger, and it's not you? That's bad! *hugs and kisses*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:16, Reply)

*runs to dok*
Hold me I am scarred
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:17, Reply)

Scarred?
Did Kaol get you?

That stabby badman.
( thealternativefact, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:18, Reply)

No
more the sex noises.

A knife would have left less damaging ones 0_o
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:19, Reply)

Kaol's not scary if you just imagine him naked.
Oops! too much information.
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:20, Reply)

BGB!
I am shocked and appalled intrigued!
( thealternativefact, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:22, Reply)

I used to live above
A brazilian woman who had VERY loud sex.

a lot.

evenink all
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:22, Reply)

Oh Badger
I'll make the badness go away *ensnuggles*

BGB is there something you want to tell us?

Drixy, not in a pub? Shame on you, anyhoo Kaol gone to the pictures.

Hi Halfy
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:23, Reply)

Sorry Dok (but another good guess!)
Badger - spreading marbles/sharp things/Lego all over the floor outside their room then turning the electricity off at the consumer unit is made of win.

(My mate's housemate didn't speak to us for about three weeks, but it truly is worth it to see someone's reaction to unexpectedly falling down a flight of stairs bollock naked in the dark whilst your drunk mates cackle at you)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:24, Reply)

True
But if you bang the broom out of time of the shagging then they'll get a strange Doppler effect.

It may put yer man off his stride.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:24, Reply)

@ TGB
Not as bad as my housemate and her French boyfriend babytalking to each other in French while they're at it!

*shudders*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:24, Reply)

I should add at this point that I imagine a lot of men naked.
It makes the day go quicker : )
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:24, Reply)

Kaol has indeed gone to the pictures.
Presumably, he is fully clothed.

And not only am I not at the pub, I am at home! Shock!
( thealternativefact, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:27, Reply)

Sam
Then it has to be Gong - The Flying Teapot.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:28, Reply)

Badger
What you need to do is join in, counter groaning will either make them think they are having the greatest sex ever




or scare them shitless.

bgb, you must live a life of constant disappointment then!
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:28, Reply)

@Halfy
You have no idea....

*shakes head*
( girlinthehole, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:29, Reply)

Impressive!
Google or a secret fascination for space rock?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:30, Reply)

Hmm
*looks for marbles*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:32, Reply)

TGB
I've lost mine too
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:33, Reply)

Queen
I'm going Slightly Mad

has just come on as well! How fitting...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:35, Reply)

I swapped mine
for salt made from the tears of a million virgins.

quite nice on chips it is.
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:36, Reply)

Halfy
So is TGB.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:37, Reply)

I don't
like chips :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:38, Reply)

TGB
Who said you'd be eating them :P
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:39, Reply)

0_o
My filthy drive just exploded there.

Actually that comment made it explode :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:40, Reply)

ethel
well someone has to peel the potatoes :p
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:40, Reply)

Sam
A love of Gong, great band.

Badger, did you solve your moral dilema?

Just think it could have been us having sex as well!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:42, Reply)

Stop it Dok!
I am constantly horny as it is!

And no moral dilemma is simmering but now I'm drunk so my morals are fucked anyways! Unlike me :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:44, Reply)

*sings*
You can run with us, we've got everything you need, run with us, we are free.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:45, Reply)

Poor Honey Badger
*Hugs*

I'm sorry to hear that, not the horny thing though, you minx!

*Snuggle*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:46, Reply)

*snuggles*
*cops a feel*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:47, Reply)

Red
Run With Us by Lisa Lougheed

Cops a feel back.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:49, Reply)

Herr Dok
The Googler :P

Either that or you're as sad as me (or you remember The Raccoons)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:51, Reply)

So folks
What movie shall I watch tonight?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:52, Reply)

Dok I'll jump you
if you carry on that behaviour :p

And watch erm... I dunno *noses through collection*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:53, Reply)

Yup
I watched that a few times, not bad but there was better.

*sensual massage*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:54, Reply)

dok
remember if you are going to cop a feel of badg . . . . . . .

pics or it didn't happen :)
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:55, Reply)

@ Ethelred
That's where I know it from ...... I've been sat wondering. Cyril Sneer .... What a role model.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:55, Reply)

could that be called
badge vadge?

@ Swan

He is my idol. Without the aspirations for a big pink nose.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:56, Reply)

Halfy
It's YOU'RE

You've just ruined my mood with your bad grammar
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:56, Reply)

Badger
Now they want pics, our word isn't good enough for them.

Better watch your noes though, it's a big collection. Over 600 films at the last count, and that was a while ago.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:58, Reply)

hahahaha
that made me cough whisky everywhere!
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:58, Reply)

My grammar's appalling
She says cunt and everyting.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:59, Reply)

*sings more*
Up above the streets and houses, Rainbow climbing high, everyone can see it smiling over the sky, paint the whole world with a

Rainbow!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:59, Reply)

:p
My noes?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:00, Reply)

Badger
Let me see what I can do to get the mood back?

Chocolate sauce?

More massage?

A blunt heavy object to throw at the bad grammer monster?

Or huge *hugs and kisses and snuggles and things*?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:01, Reply)

cunt with everything?
is that a new kebab topping?

ps changed, heaven forfend a stray grammatical error disturbing the flow
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:02, Reply)

*kisses*
to make Badgers noes better!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:03, Reply)

Hey
there is nothing wrong with the grammar monster!

Chocolate massages sound good *gets ready to lick*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:04, Reply)

This one
is the "Bad Grammer Monster", the Grammer monster is all good.

*Dribbles chocolate sauce*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:05, Reply)

Ooh, A horrific sight.
Cobbled together pudenda hanging on to a rotating kebab spit while a swarthy greek man carves slices off it with a massive knife.

No wonder my Gran would say cunt. And probably spunk sock, dog's cock and fuck nugget.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:06, Reply)

Badg
I think he meant me*

the grammar monster, not the chocolate massage.

I recommend candle wax and oily massages, but not at the same time, it gets very messy
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:06, Reply)

Ok Swan has ruined the mood :p
*licks chocolate sauce slyly*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:07, Reply)

Sorry to unload, but I need an outlet, so here goes...
My Granddad went in for a hip replacement last week, so far, so routine. He came out of hospital on Sunday, a little weary and certainly battle, well, surgically scarred, but otherwise fine. He's now developed a rather large blister on his shin which very nearly turned into an aschaemic foot, as all the crap in there was flowing downwards. The whole thing was black at one point, and very nearly ended up being chopped off, but for the timely intervention of Mum, who is a nurse, and very good at getting precisely what is needed from the NHS. Now his toes have started developing blisters, and there is still a worry Granddad may well be doing a very good, but sadly permanent impression of a pirate.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:08, Reply)

swan
I would try it with enough burger and chilli sauce, plus a few pints they could be serving almost anything to us anyway
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:09, Reply)

Candle wax must be hot
or it's a waste of time.

Baby oil, I think scented oils are better.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:09, Reply)

*hugs piston*
I did a little laugh at the pirate thing sorry. Only as pirates are so freeking aweome!

Hope he gets better soon :)
x
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:09, Reply)

Huzzah!
Ich bin ein thread killer.

The left part of the brain thinks a little too much sometimes - Rarely with decent and wholesome results.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:10, Reply)

Piston
That sucks, sorry man. I hope he gets better, and doesn't have to lose it!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:11, Reply)

@ HDL, TGB
Cheers. I may get him an eyepatch and hat, if only my family could see my sense of humour, which alas they don't get. I'm about as understood as a happy emo with that lot.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:13, Reply)

fucking hell
my housemate is at it again.

If I knew his stamina was this good I may have tried bagging him a while back :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:14, Reply)

Piston
Would your Grandad find it funny though? I know the feeling, mine don't get me either. I've given up telling them anything funny.

On other new I've just heard that my brothers boss got bitten by a Mangrove snake earlier, and is now in the hospital! He shold be OK though.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:16, Reply)

badg
you will just have to get revenge with some 5am noise.

Piston. thats a bit rubbish, but will be a potential save on socks
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:17, Reply)

@ TGB
Sometimes stamina is over-rated. Imagine a bloke thinking to himself during sex- "Right, so that's 6 toe-curling orgasms she's had now, my back is starting to hurt, and I still haven't come yet" and then giving up 1 hour later through sheer exhaustion.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:17, Reply)

@ TGB
Get the broom out.

@PB - Bugger. Hope your Granddad's ok without piratical coolness.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:18, Reply)

Remember Badger
Quantity is no substitution for quality!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:18, Reply)

@ SV, Halfy
Once again, cheers. I think the person who said "You can never be unhappy when dressed as a pirate" may have been a little wrong about this one.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:19, Reply)

^hahahahahahaha
Dok is small!
( thealternativefact, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:19, Reply)

True
Right who is going to offer me some quality?

Oh wait Duran Duran has just come on! *dances*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:20, Reply)

clendrix
its a grower not a shower, well thats what he told me the last time

*was disappointed*
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:21, Reply)

Drixy
The adults are talking about stamina.

I've never had any complaints!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:21, Reply)

@ TGB
I know a certain individual who can supply both, but is cursed with the inability of having an orgasm of his own within a reasonable time.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:22, Reply)

Badger
Which track?

I never used to like Duran Duran when they were big, it's a different story now.

Stop talking about my knob, that's for the Badger only!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:23, Reply)

Halfy
I'd beware, if I were you. I've a feeling it would be a frightening experience, growing or showing!
( thealternativefact, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:24, Reply)

piston
you should stop thinking about Maggie Thatcher during sex.

or try small boys, they are great!

clendrix: don't worry, im no exhibitionist, I leave that for the drunk and desparately attention seeking
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:24, Reply)

Dok, Ordinary World
And woo Dok's knob is for me only!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:24, Reply)

Pah
You two know nothing!

*snuggles with Badger*

Edit for spelling!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:25, Reply)

Now
I have put A View To A Kill on though
*snuggles Dok*cough*two*cough*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:25, Reply)

My gods
Loads of DD *dances*

Edited right after I posted it lovely.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:27, Reply)

Yeah
You are learning ;) I like that good grammar turns me on you know
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:27, Reply)

@ TGB
I'd love to but I'm all old and worn out.

Give me a week of rest and I'll be fit for duty.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:28, Reply)

Yup
Sometimes my grammer is not that good though.

I'm popping away for 5 minutes while I change computers.

Be right Back!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:29, Reply)

Pow
Pack it up, pack it in, let me begin
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:31, Reply)

That's ok Dok
I'll get you trained up ;)

Swan I can't wait a week :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:32, Reply)

*jumps around*
wooooo
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:33, Reply)

OK BGB
I can stretch to a heroic amount of oral in a pinch but even with such a lovely lady on offer I'm afraid I'd not be able to do the full 9 yards.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:36, Reply)

A heroic amount?
That may do ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:41, Reply)

Er...
Did people need to talk about me being naked?

*shudders*
Not a pretty sight!

Anyhow, I'm about to write a positive film review :D
( Cawl, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:42, Reply)

Positive?
Who are you and what have you done with Kaol?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:45, Reply)

Happy to oblige
As my dear old Mum used to say ...... Treat others like you'd like to be treated : )
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:45, Reply)

Well...
I've got a powerful dilemma...
Some of the bits that were rubbish involve fairly major spoilers, so...
I'll have to not mention them!
Or do a full version, post a non-spoiler-version, then people can gaz me for a full one if they want.
*shrugs*
( Cawl, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:47, Reply)

Hello again
I'm back, and on my portable.

No Kaol, nobody mentioned you naked!

Badger I turn my back for five minutes and you're already setting up dates with other people!

Kaol, do a spoiler and non spoiler one, that's the way forward.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:47, Reply)

Sorry Dok
*looks sad* How can I make it up to you?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:51, Reply)

Herr Dok...
"Kaol's not scary if you just imagine him naked."

That's a direct quote!
( Cawl, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:52, Reply)

Aw
It's not a problem, you can *snuggle* me if you want.

I decided to watch "Revenge of the Zombies", it comes from my Friday night selection.

*hugs & Kisses*

*Licks* I must have missed that bit of chocolate!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:54, Reply)

*snuggles*
I may fall asleep though I have a habit of that :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:55, Reply)

Yes it is
But it was from Drixy, so none of us mentioned you naked did we?

EDIT, Sleeping, or sleeping while snuggling? Either way I don't mind so long as it's only then, and not during anything more energetic.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:55, Reply)

Forsaken for zombie films
*woes*
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:56, Reply)

I don't think I have
fallen asleep during anything more energetic *thinks*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:57, Reply)

Swanny
Forsaken? It rings a bell, what's it about?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:59, Reply)

Badger
It would be good manners not to.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:00, Reply)

I'm naked..
..and highly lickable.. so do your worst my bitches..
(lost, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:00, Reply)

Well it would be good
manners for them to make sure it was exciting enough for me not to fall asleep during :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:01, Reply)

Is getting you that excited
a problem?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:03, Reply)

According to IMDB:
After an innocent man is released from prison for a crime he did not commit, he seeks out the people he believes responsible for his destiny's unfortunate path...under the impression that he is dieing of a disease due to a disturbing experience in jail, Murphy Berserk decides to no longer be the "forced" one in his life, but the "enforcer." He takes the advice of his long time war vet friend and decides to "cut all his ties, and end every game you started on this god-forsaked earth.

I apologise for literal punnage.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:04, Reply)

Not really Dok
Don't worry :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:07, Reply)

Swanny
I like that. It sound funny.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:09, Reply)

Badger
I never worry about things like that, it would just make it a challenge.

Every time you :p I almost lol due to your profile pics.

*massage*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:12, Reply)

Almost?
I obviously need better profile pics!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:14, Reply)

I have the suspicion that
it's been written by a semi literate fan with illusions of literacy.

Straight to video if ever I saw it.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:14, Reply)

I saw it first at work
and did indeed officelol.

Oh it's a bit chilly in my bedroom tonight, could you come down and warm me up a bit?

EDIT Swanny, it's a short as well, so you may well be right. I'd forgotten just how bad this film is, I may have to change it!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:16, Reply)

Aw fucking hell!
Get a bloody room!

*mutters*

*writes review*
( Cawl, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:16, Reply)

It would be an awesome review....
*goes and warms dok up*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:18, Reply)

You're just jealous!
*Snuggles under duvet*

Oooo toasty. *cops another feel*

I changed the film, I've put on Night of the Living Dead!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:22, Reply)

Thanks Miss crenne
Now I don't have to see it! ;)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:23, Reply)

*warms feet up on dok*
I was just getting in to the other film!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:23, Reply)

Golly
Your feet are chilly. Never mind they'll soon be warm.

OK I'll put the other one back on!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:25, Reply)

No it's fine I'll
watch this *snuggles*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:26, Reply)

Done
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post295081
( Cawl, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:29, Reply)

They're
coming to get you Badger! They're coming for you now! Look there's one over there!

*snuggley kiss*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:30, Reply)

ARGH
Don't let them get me Dok :(

*snuggles close*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:31, Reply)

I am also off to bed
Night all :)
x
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:36, Reply)

Bad zombies!
Get back downstairs and get us some drinks!

Is that better Badger? I won't let them get you!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:37, Reply)

Night Badger
See you tomorrow!

xxx
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:38, Reply)

My band is broad! Kiss my pipe!!!!
At last, I now have broadband. I didn't manage to set it up the automatic way, but I fiddled a bit and got through a different way.

Manc bash pics to follow shortly...

EDIT: @ancrenne: Now I have broadband, I'll be happty to help.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:40, Reply)

Yay for broadband Spakka
How long till the pics are up?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:41, Reply)

.
@HDL: I still haven't measured my BB speed yet. The b3ta bash pics will be the perfect opportunity.

@ancrenne: Are these demons the ghost bees & mind weasels that were being talked about last night?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:47, Reply)

Miss crenne
And after you saw such a great film!

*hugs*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:48, Reply)

In other news
I've taken up Tai Chi and had my first ever session this evening. I didn't know what to expect, so it wasn't anything un-expected. It's sort of like a combination between Yoga and a martial art.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:48, Reply)

My dear
Don't worry about that, you cry if you need to!

*GIGANTIC HUGS*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 23:55, Reply)

The uploading has commenced
23 photos, 35MB, lots of b3tafun!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 5 Nov 2008, 0:02, Reply)

Miss crenne
If you want to vent, just gaz me.

Splendid Spakka, i;m gonna look now!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 5 Nov 2008, 0:05, Reply)

* whacks ancrenne's demons *
* with my pipe *

* gives ancrenne a big hug *
* with my pipe *
* and of course with my arms and body too *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 5 Nov 2008, 0:05, Reply)

My bash pics
have been uploaded. Come and get them!

edit: 'night ancrenne. The US Election results look very hopeful.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 5 Nov 2008, 1:04, Reply)

Looks like everyone's asleep
or following the US election.

I'm going to bed and dreaming of an Obama victory, and hope to wake up to news of an Obama victory.

G'night.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 5 Nov 2008, 1:52, Reply)

Still Awake Here
watching the destruction of the Republicans!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 5 Nov 2008, 2:15, Reply)

Me too
70 to go!
(bill, Wed 5 Nov 2008, 2:51, Reply)

Woohoo!!
PRESIDENT Obama!!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 5 Nov 2008, 4:04, Reply)

273!
Yay!

Time for bed now!
(bill, Wed 5 Nov 2008, 4:06, Reply)