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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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 Hello all!
	Hello all!I'm really, seriously, fucking annoyed.
I had my bank card stolen at the weekend, and they emptied my account. I've no idea how they got hold of my PIN, but that's not my main problem.
I've cancelled the card, and put in a fraud claim. I was just on my online banking, and I've seen which cash point they used to withdraw the money. It's the one round the corner from my house, the one I use on 4/5 of my cash withdrawals.
This considered, with the amount I'd been withdrawing beforehand doesn't put me in the best mood. I think the bank is going to turn down my claim, and I'll be fucked.
ARGH!
But this brings me to the question, what is your favourite dish to cook?
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:17, 146 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
 I hate to say this
	I hate to say thisBut are you sure it's not someone who knows you?
Favourite dish to cook...
Spag bol, or chicken breasts stuffed with roule, on top of creamy mashed potato with red wine/onion gravy. Comfort food to the max-i-mum.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:19, Reply)
 No
	NoIt's understandable. There are two people who know my PIN except for me.
One of them was in the pub next to me the entire night, he didn't leave until after I did, and he couldn't see straight.
The other is in Preston.
Either way, I know it wasn't them. I was very drunk earlier on, so I might have been really obvious at the cash point, god knows.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:25, Reply)
 Somebody you live with could have seen you enter your PIN
	Somebody you live with could have seen you enter your PINwithout you knowing. Either that or somebody was following you around for long enough to know your PIN, where you use your card, and that you keep your wallet in the back pocket of your 28" skinny jeans that you wear hanging off your arse
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:27, Reply)
 My mate who was at the bar with me is my housemate, I know his PIN, he knows mine.
	My mate who was at the bar with me is my housemate, I know his PIN, he knows mine.It makes Beer runs much easier to just chuck the card and place an order with the other.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:39, Reply)
 Also
	AlsoSkinny jeans? Good god.
I'm no skinny lad, my waist has increased shitloads in the last 3 years!
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:59, Reply)
 Don't cash machines have little cameras in them?
	Don't cash machines have little cameras in them?Surely the bank could identify who it was used your card? Does your online statement give a time for the transaction? If so you may be able to show that you were elsewhere at the time of the withdrawal.
Possibly.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:36, Reply)
 I'm hoping they do, it might help
	I'm hoping they do, it might helpUnfortunately, no record of time on there, nothing I can do :-(
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:38, Reply)
 The bank will have a record of the exact time of the transaction though
	The bank will have a record of the exact time of the transaction thoughit just might not be on your statement.
The fact that you've disclosed your PIN to other people though will put you in a very bad light.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:01, Reply)
 Aye, of course
	Aye, of courseWhen I get the time, it might help me a bit.
But at the moment, I'm just incredible annoyed. Made worse by the fact I missed the bus this morning, so I had to get a taxi, spending the last of my money.
Joy.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:07, Reply)
 when you get the time?
	when you get the time?fuck that, if some fat mug stole my money I'd be raising hell until it was replaced
then I'd cut the cunt who did it and stick my fat penis in 'im
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:38, Reply)
 HAHA
	HAHAyour penis is fat because your a LOLMERKIN who can't stop eating burgers.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:41, Reply)
 I tried sticking it in a burger
	I tried sticking it in a burgerbut it wouldn't eat and it got a bit burnt
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:49, Reply)
 I think your Mum used your bank card
	I think your Mum used your bank cardto pay off her pimp.
I don't cook dishes, I cook food. Crockery tends to be a tad crunchy.
EDIT God I hate food threads
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:19, Reply)
 Only in spirit
	Only in spiritmy metabolism is catching up with me though, by the time I'm forty I'll be as big as a house.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:28, Reply)
 Stuffed sea bream
	Stuffed sea breamOne whole fish, 75g watercress, spring onions and brie. I usually use two decent sized wedges of brie.
Chop and fry the onions and watercress in butter. De-rind the brie, chop roughly, take the pan off the heat and stir brie into the watercress and spring onion until melted.
Spoon mixture into cavity of the fish and over the top, and bake in oven for about half an hour. When cooked, sprinkle some chopped spring onion over the top.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:23, Reply)
 Certainly is
	Certainly isand a piece of piss to perpare and cook. Also works with red snapper, sea bass...
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:28, Reply)
 Flour and hot water.
	Flour and hot water.LOTS of flour, because it starts off very sticky. Then you cut out 1/4" thick discs, brush the top of every other one with sesame oil and stick another one on top to make a sandwich. Roll them out flat, fry them in a dry pan until cooked - you'll be able to tell, trust me. Then you peel the layers apart, fill 'em with duck and away you go.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:49, Reply)
 Then, if you're cooking a whole duck,
	Then, if you're cooking a whole duck,I would also recommend that you keep it somewhere cool, dry and well-ventilated for 12-24 hours before you cook it, and brush the skin with very cheap vodka every couple of hours.
If you're just doing legs, boil'em for an hour or two then baste them with hoi-sin and crisp 'em up under the grill.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:01, Reply)
 From earlier
	From earlierI escaped!
www.b3ta.com/talk/6426206
www.b3ta.com/talk/6426298
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:28, Reply)
 No.
	No.Apart from the aforementioned heart-winning, but in my defence I can't say I've ever tried.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:33, Reply)
 whole duck
	whole duckbefore leaving it for 12-24 hours, pour a load of boiling water over it to shrink the skin.
well worth doing. the homemade pancakes are the business too. Have done it a few times, it's easy and it impresses the hell out of people.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 15:10, Reply)
 I just like FISHY STUFF
	I just like FISHY STUFFDon't particularly bother with any plush ingredients as I love the natural flavours from up here in the North...
Boiled Crab/Lobster by itself, nice and messy. Maybe put the brown meat on a sandwich.
Baked Salmon, with a giant baked potato & cheese.
Grilled Mackarel on buttered thick brown toast...
Nom-tastic
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:49, Reply)
 P.s.
	P.s.Sorry about your loss. We need to bring in that Sharia law / eye-for-an-eye or something. Or just stamp on offenders balls/fannies until they become infertile.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:50, Reply)
 I'm guessing you've already gone to the police
	I'm guessing you've already gone to the policeIn my experience banks are very good at these sort of things, unless you've done something stupid like given your PIN out.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:55, Reply)
 I've not gone to the police, as there's absolutely zero information I can give them
	I've not gone to the police, as there's absolutely zero information I can give themDidn't really want to waste time.
I told the bank that no-one knew my PIN, because I know the only ones who do wouldn't have been able to get money from there. (Also, I trust them completely)
I'm hoping for the CCTV though, not really anything else I can do!
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:57, Reply)
 You should tell the police
	You should tell the policeAt least the crime will be reported and will go on official stats.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:03, Reply)
 If the bank says
	If the bank sayshow do we know you didn't just fuck off with a load of cash and then claimed it as fraud, then if you went to the police and reported having your wallet stolen then they are likely to be more on your side.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:12, Reply)
 You're either lying
	You're either lyingor an idiot.
If someone pinched all my money, the first thing I would do would be to contact the police, not post about it on hall of lies.
Just on the off-chance that you are a moron, not an autist, you might be entitled to compensation as a 'victim of crime' as well as having a case reference to help with your enquiries at the bank.
Also, the police in this country are pretty good at catching people stupid enough to steal people's money from a cashpoint (which will certianly be covered by CCTV)
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:24, Reply)
 Stop being a prick.
	Stop being a prick.He's just young and probably thinks the police aren't that fussed about his miserly earnings being pilfered. Let's face it they don't have a good reputation for dealing with petty crime.
Just explain what to do and why and stop acting like your a fucking genius because you know stuff that we don't.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:01, Reply)
 My answer is the most sensible he is going to read on here.
	My answer is the most sensible he is going to read on here.The fact that I combined that with mocking his brain damage is irrelevant.
Also, if I knew something that you didn't, it wouldn't make me more intelligent than you, just less ignorant.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:23, Reply)
 also, saying that I'm less ignorant than you
	also, saying that I'm less ignorant than youis a bit like saying I'm less disfigured than the elephant man.
Who co-incidentally is less disfigured than you.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:25, Reply)
 I honestly thought that both those would get a rise out of you.
	I honestly thought that both those would get a rise out of you.I must be losing my trolling touch.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:28, Reply)
 I knew that if I pretended to show weakness it would bring you all out.
	I knew that if I pretended to show weakness it would bring you all out.(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:38, Reply)
 That was showing weakness?
	That was showing weakness?I was in general agreement with those posts.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:52, Reply)
 Sorry! I was busy.
	Sorry! I was busy.But I can certainly see why you are in your chosen profession. *laughs*
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:36, Reply)
 is it because he is a cunt?
	is it because he is a cunt?I only know one who isn't, and really, he is.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 15:12, Reply)
 Thank you for the information
	Thank you for the informationI wasn't certain about the second part.
Also, I hate to break it to you, but I don't exactly do this all the time, it's not something I'm used to, and I'm still far too angry to think straight.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:12, Reply)
 ^
	^This too.
I got scammed abroad a few years back after my debit card was 'swallowed' by a cash machine. Thousands of pounds extricated themselves from my account; I got every penny back.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 12:59, Reply)
 I learned an interesting thing a while back.
	I learned an interesting thing a while back.If a cashpoint ever swallows your card and you're a bit dubious, see if you can get a nail under the surround of the card slot. There was a scam where this would be a fake stuck over the real one, with a loop of thin strong plastic fed into the machine - this would catch a selection of cards inside, but if you pulled the front off the whole lot came back out.
I would not recommend going at it with a screwdriver though, the police look dimly on that sort of thing.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:04, Reply)
 This is true
	This is truethese days I'm very cautious and always rub my fingers along the slot before I put it in.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:55, Reply)
 When did you report the card stolen?
	When did you report the card stolen?before or after the cash went missing?
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:07, Reply)
 Sadly, after
	Sadly, afterI'd only just noticed the card was gone, so I spent an hour searching the house, thought I might have dropped it, and cancelled the card.
It was only the next day when I went to the bank I found out the account had been emptied.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:14, Reply)
 Beef stew
	Beef stew1. brown beef in casserole dish then remove
2. fry onions, garlic & carrots cut like fat matchsticks until soft
3. make up a mixture of good red wine and beef stock
4. reintroduce beef to casserole dish, add flour, thyme, tomato puree, salt&pepper, Lea & Perrins or Marmite, followed by the wine/stock
5. cook on super-low heat for minimum 4 or 5 hours.
6. serve with carrot, swede & turnip mashed together with nutmeg & butter, and mashed potatoes w horseradish.
7. gaz Monty Boyce telling him you've cooked the best stew ever and you are very grateful
NB NO FUCKING CELERY, ALRIGHT?
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:10, Reply)
 For such an innocuous-looking vegetable
	For such an innocuous-looking vegetablethe flavour is all-pervasive, I find.
IT MAKES ME ANGRY.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:14, Reply)
 I'm thinking of bullying celery.
	I'm thinking of bullying celery.Hopefully it will be home-schooled as a result and i won't even have to clap eyes on the STRINGY, GREEN REPULSIVE SHIT ever again.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:46, Reply)
 I heard celery has started cutting itself and telling it's mum that it's a teacher training day so it can stay at home.
	I heard celery has started cutting itself and telling it's mum that it's a teacher training day so it can stay at home.(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:48, Reply)
 Who wants something that looks like tubes of grass but tastes like Pear's Soap mixed with white pepper?
	Who wants something that looks like tubes of grass but tastes like Pear's Soap mixed with white pepper?Who???
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:49, Reply)
 Who is familiar with the taste of Pear's soap mixed with pepper?
	Who is familiar with the taste of Pear's soap mixed with pepper?Who???
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:50, Reply)
 I've never mixed the two, to be honest with you.
	I've never mixed the two, to be honest with you.But I've tasted both and feel that this gives me an insight into how they would taste. Together.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:51, Reply)
 That's probably fair enough.
	That's probably fair enough.I was just being a pedantic old git as usual, you weird, soap-tasting type.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:53, Reply)
 Tongues?
	Tongues?How many tongues do you have?
...unhand my tongue, you weird, soap-tasting type!
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:01, Reply)
 I was young and foolish
	I was young and foolishAnd I was mainly a soap-powder taster really.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:04, Reply)
 I've tasted it.
	I've tasted it.I tasted it the last time I accidentally ate CELERY.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:01, Reply)
 I think I use a similar recipe
	I think I use a similar recipeMy own personal touch is to use cheaper bottle of wine and just chuck the whole thing in, but it does make a truly magnificent beef stew. Serve with a baguette.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:27, Reply)
 Skimmer on the cash machine
	Skimmer on the cash machinehidden camera to see your pin,
it's pretty simple for this to happen and the banks probably wont refuse your claim.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:16, Reply)
 Sorry to hear about your loss : (
	Sorry to hear about your loss : (Crab, chilli and fresh spagetti, simple to cook and tastes divine.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:22, Reply)
 That dish is another favourite of mine
	That dish is another favourite of minecrab linguine with chili, flat leaf parsley and lemon zest & juice.
MmmMMmmmmMMmmmmm
Washed down with an ice-cold Sancerre
*has wank*
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:30, Reply)
 I use spagetti instead of linguine and add ciabatta bread crumbs and a little garlic.
	I use spagetti instead of linguine and add ciabatta bread crumbs and a little garlic.I could eat it every day.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:32, Reply)
 "kind of" lazy?
	"kind of" lazy?Extraordinarily so, surely? This is not a bad thing in my book, however.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:43, Reply)
 You'll need to go to an Asian supernarket of some sort,
	You'll need to go to an Asian supernarket of some sort,but you can find them online, too. They're lovely.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:56, Reply)
 Well....................
	Well....................1. I rarely have bread at home thus none to go stale to make breadcrumbs with.
2. I'm a busy career women and I make all my evening meals from scratch so let me have a few short cuts please.
3. They are very good ready made bread crumbs.
4. Fuck off.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:45, Reply)
 I wasn't being mean.
	I wasn't being mean.I was pointing out a moment in your illustrious career on off-topic when you should have kept your gob shut.
Edit - I have admitted to my mistakes on here and you should own up to yours.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:49, Reply)
 Without taking the internet too seriously
	Without taking the internet too seriouslyI stand by everything I said on that thread. It was a debate about immigration laws and just because the other person involved in the debate got upset and threw a hissy fit doesn't make it bullying.
The ongoing joke about visa's was just that, a joke. TGB didn't take comments about having a distended vagina personally, I don't take comments about my mother being a massive whore personally, Clendrix doesn't take comments about being a terible racist personally.
So I haven't made any mistakes there to admit to.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:56, Reply)
 The tone of your posts were not meant in jest.
	The tone of your posts were not meant in jest.But if you feel you have nothing to apologize for then so be it.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:03, Reply)
 French onion soup
	French onion soupwith either sherry or cognac in it, and a lump of brie bunged in the top just prior to serving...crusty bread with real butter on the side
*wanks cock to bloody stump*
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:34, Reply)
 best of luck getting it back
	best of luck getting it backmine is chicken cooked with basil, garlic, onion, carrot and zucchini with pasta
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:49, Reply)
 I dont' know if this is a generally american thing, or specific to certain parts
	I dont' know if this is a generally american thing, or specific to certain partsbut I was at a party with some merkins, and one of them brought this big dish of cheese, chicken and chilli dip and it was really nice and I wondered if it was a national thing or not.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:57, Reply)
 It's probably national
	It's probably nationalyou can get that sort of thing in restaurants probably anywhere here
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:02, Reply)
 Oh I'd quite like some caribbean jerk chicken nachos now.
	Oh I'd quite like some caribbean jerk chicken nachos now.Well done.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:22, Reply)
 if
	ifit involves cheese and chilis then it is good. I don't need to try it to know this.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:02, Reply)
 Steak and Ale Pie with Mash
	Steak and Ale Pie with Mash(but only because it's my new thing that I can do. Otherwise, I cook a mean (and I mean mean) butter-bottomed steak.)
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:03, Reply)
 Go on then!
	Go on then!I like being taught stuff.
Then I'll take a picture of my mongy pie and post it.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:18, Reply)
 A picture of your cock?
	A picture of your cock?We heard it's too big to fit in the boot of a car.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:32, Reply)
 Of course.
	Of course.She's a girl, online. She has to expect that kind of thing. And if I was sponsoring for my charity trip to the south pole, I have to give her something, don't I?
NOTE FOR MY WIFE: I have not gazzed roota a picture of my cock.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:38, Reply)
 
	...I've gazzed her a picture of someone else's that's much more impressive.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:42, Reply)
 Note to my nemesis:
	Note to my nemesis:He HAS gazzed me a picture of his cock.*
In your face Quim-Quam!
*he hasn't.
Thanks for the pie-age DiT.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:42, Reply)
 LIES LIES
	LIES LIESLIES on teh interwebs... at least I hope so.
You have just crossed the line of the nemesis... I'm burning down your house as I type! Boo-Yah!
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 15:06, Reply)
 Let the cat out first!
	Let the cat out first!I beseech thee! Oh no, you don't like cats, do you. Oh well, he's a little bastard anyway. I'll get one that's more friendly. As you were. You can burn my neighbours too if you like.
No wonder you married him. His penis is made of 'lectrics. At least it looks that way from the pic he gazzed.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 15:10, Reply)
 Mwahahaha
	MwahahahaNope, don't like cats - Ha-harrr!
I shan’t burn down your neighbours houses as they haven’t done anything to upset me – you on the other hand have!!
*Wanders off to re-fuel the flamethrower!*
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 15:16, Reply)
 It's not my fault
	It's not my faultthat your husband gazzed me a picture of his 'lectric peen.
And a pie recipe.
Oh, wait. It was just a pie recipe. I imagined the 'lectric peen.
Truce?
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 15:18, Reply)
 best steak accompaniment on earth:
	best steak accompaniment on earth:en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chimichurri
It is *unbelievably* tasty.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:14, Reply)
 Not in a pie you crazyfool!
	Not in a pie you crazyfool!On a steak.
It's so nice, just dunking bread in it is superb.
(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:28, Reply)
 "Objects Contained Within Are Not as Large as First They May Seem"?
	"Objects Contained Within Are Not as Large as First They May Seem"?(, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:39, Reply)
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