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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Don't you just hate those twats who have a 'LAST' compo every week over there on the main page?
What silly and petty things annoy the living bloody shit out of you?
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:10, 123 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
First

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:10, Reply)
Last

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:11, Reply)
You are my rock, my world, and I think I love you, you wee beastie.

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:14, Reply)
Well...
I do what I can ;)
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:16, Reply)
*spluffs*

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:17, Reply)
Easy
tiger.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:19, Reply)
*spaffs*

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:20, Reply)
Mess in aisle 5
Repeat, mess in aisle 5. Clean up team of FlimFlam and al required.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:22, Reply)
We start off cleaning
but by the end we're both very dirty.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:23, Reply)
Dear
oh dear.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:25, Reply)
...Three times a lady....
...sorry.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:17, Reply)
You're not sorry. You're never sorry.
Not even when you mock my small feet. YOU BIG FOOTED FREAK! *runs*
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:18, Reply)
I should be sorry...
...I was quoting lyrics from the wrong song.

*facepalms*
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:22, Reply)
You're
My Everything ;)
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:22, Reply)
Yep, nicely rescued.
I'm going to sit in the dunce corner.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:25, Reply)
*points*
*laughs*
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:25, Reply)
shite puns
that start off reasonably connected, and dissolve into a compo worse than the "Last" shite
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:13, Reply)
POOR PAVEMENT ETIQUETTE
If there's only room for three and you're walking in a group of three and you don't move over, then expect me to square my shoulders and walk into to, you fucking rude mongs.

And Al.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:17, Reply)
^This
Also - people that walk s-l-o-w-l-y. GET ON WITH YOUR LIVES!
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:19, Reply)
Oi!
I know why Clendrix hates me, but what's your problem?
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:21, Reply)
OH LAWD.
I didn't mean "^this" to the al bit, snugglebum.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:26, Reply)
Awwwwww
I knew it must have been a mistake.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:30, Reply)
*voms*
Get a room!!!
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:33, Reply)
absolutely this
in my research I have concluded that this is completely connected to people being stupid and not paying attention to the world around them.

Similar things include: people driving badly, women with pushchairs/trolleys barging past you while shopping.

Occasionally I decide not to get out of the way when walking down the street and see how many people bump into me. It's usually lots. I'm bigger than most people, so they usually end up on the floor.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:20, Reply)
I do this
and I would say that at least 19 times out of 20, the people I've barged into apologise. That just makes them even more fucking stupid.

NOTE: If they apologise sarcastically, I always make a point of saying sweetly, 'That's OK, don't worry,' because that makes them even angrier. This applies to all sarcastic apologies.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:23, Reply)
Thank you!
Women with pushchairs! Just because you heaved some monstrous little cretin out of your vag doesn't give you some sort of KEY TO THE ENTIRE PAVEMENT! Get out of my way horrible women and take your devil spawn with you!!
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:24, Reply)
Flim Flam used to be so sweet :(

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:25, Reply)
Nope
it was all a clever rouse to get you all into bed! I am still sweet but there are traces of pure evil bubbling under the surface, London sets it off!!
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:26, Reply)
I don't like her any more
she says nasty words.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:26, Reply)
Hahaha
sorry for upsetting you.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:27, Reply)
I have a sollution to the whole Oxford Street People Standing Still thing.
People Lanes, with an advertisment campaign.



RoadRoadRoadRoadRoad
---------------
Do what you want here
_______________
____<----______ One way
____---->______ Other Way
Do what you want here
----------------
|Shop shop shop|




Where if you wish to stand still or stop, that's fine, as long as it's not in a person-lane, like a bike-lane.

It's simple like the whole "Draw a box around a cashpoint to indicate a 'please stand back'" thing.

I'm dead clever, me, I should be up for awards.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:10, Reply)
the incorrect use of the word "momentarily"
it means FOR a moment, not IN a moment.

makes me blood boil
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:18, Reply)
I will answer you.
Momentarily.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:19, Reply)
That's okay
as long as your answer only takes a moment.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:21, Reply)
Also
this is a seriously pedantic point and shouldn't get anyone that worked up, it's not actually that commonly known the momentarily means "for a moment" as I didn't know that myself and I've got a degree (or two) and everything.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:22, Reply)
oooooh check out mr two degrees
Who doesn't have two degrees these days?

My pedantic peeve is people abusing the word disinterested. Disinterested means impartial, uninterested is the word you were probably looking for.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:26, Reply)
I don't have any
*cries*
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:28, Reply)
You can have al's second one
I think it's in Needlepoint and Habedashery or something like that.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:34, Reply)
Sweet
Thanks! :D
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:39, Reply)
I'm not sure why it bugs me so much
normally I can let that sort of thing slide
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:29, Reply)
That's nothing.
I know people who say 'Pacific' when they mean 'specific'. Surely I'm contending with more here.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:24, Reply)
That 'momentarily' thing gets on my tits too
Apparently it's standard American usage. When you're on final approach into a US airport, the script from the cabin crew goes something like, "Ladies and gentlemen, we will be landing momentarily. Please return to your seats, with your seat belts fastened, your seat backs in the upright position and your tray tables stowed away."

Landing momentarily? I'd prefer to be on the ground a bit longer, thank you.

*possibly travels too much that he knows this stuff verbatim*
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:33, Reply)
Poor shopping trolly ettiqute.
"EXCUSE ME, YES, YOU YOU FUCKING STUPID FUCKING BITCH, MOVE THE TROLLY HORIZONTAL IN THE ISLE SO YOU CAN BLOCK MORE PEOPLE."
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:27, Reply)
"YES, THAT IS RIGHT, JUST STOP THERE WHILE I WAIT FOR YOU TO FINISH BROWSING... DONE NOW? NOW FUCK OFF YOU TWAT, GOD, NO WONDER WHY YOUR CHILDREN TURNED TO THE SMACK"

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:28, Reply)
"DON'T WORRY LOVE, I'LL WAIT HERE WHILE YOU DIG AROUND FOR YOUR PURSE, YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO NEED IT."

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:29, Reply)
I'm basicly a very angry person, on the inside.

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:29, Reply)
I once stamped my foot and tutted.

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:30, Reply)
hahaha I love you

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:31, Reply)
=D

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:46, Reply)
I'm getting that
vibe off you.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:31, Reply)
It's ok as long as I've got my headphones on.
I mostly get angry at myself, I've got a 'system' when it comes to shopping in supermarkets, it never works but I have to use it. On average, I spend about an hour in my local ASDA, trying to work out what to have for dinner.

In general, I end up with 3 baskets (changing my mind each time) and walk out with just a DVD.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:41, Reply)
You see, cirtain things link into eachother, and other things don't.
Let's say I fancy, ermm, nachos (when I walk out).
- Gwakamoli
- Salsa
- Emintile Cheese
- Blue Cheese
- Nachos
... blue cheese gets wasted as I don't use much, so I need bread for sandwiches.
... now I need some sort of deli-meat for the sandwich, and I've run out of mayo.
... Oooo, oven chips and condiments.
... damn, can't have the nachos now *puts them back*
... Don't need the cheese, dips or nachos now.
... Can't make sandwiches without the cheese, so the bread goes back.
... OH LOOK, SPECIAL OFFER DVDS, IF I WATCH IT JUST ONCE IT PAYS FOR ITSELF.
... Oh man, do you know what would go really good with a DVD? NACHOS !
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:45, Reply)
Ah see my issue with supermarkets is so bad
I have to have all my food delivered now so I don't have to deal with the cretins of Leytonstone Tesco!
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:45, Reply)
I have to go through a private member's pub to get into my flat.
And there is no where to park as I'm on a main road.

Plus there are 3 major and 2 indi supermarkets within a 4 minuite walk from me.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:11, Reply)
Curses
that does cause problems for delivery men. :(
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:14, Reply)
I am pleased to see that this thread is driving people to anger just thinking about stuff.

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:30, Reply)
YES, IT IS FINE FOR YOUR RETARDED LITTLE ANGEL TO SKATE INTO ME AT FULL PELT, IT'S CUTE AS I 'ACCIDENTLY' BOTTLE HIM WITH THE FIRST THING I LAY MY HANDS DOWN ON.
... in refferance to 'heelies'.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:31, Reply)
only yesterday
my mrs was in the supermarché and some moronic slag was pushing her trolley into the end of an aisle. The slag stopped, right in the way, turned to my mrs and says "I'd go round the other way if I were you, I'm staying here"
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:31, Reply)
Haaaaaaahahahahaha
'moronic slag'
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:31, Reply)
I think, and I could be wrong, that under the geniva convention...
... you're allowed to commit up to 3 (THREE) war-crimes on her and her sporn.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:33, Reply)
I think (and I'd like to take credit for twisting her this way)
that my mrs gave her a piece of her mind, utilising new and inventive swearwords.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:36, Reply)
i have been known
to send peoples shopping down the aisle when that happens. Usually I end up regretting it cause it is (or hits) grannies
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:32, Reply)
I move their shopping to the next asle if they're not looking.
Not only do I passive-aggressively win, but they have to start again.

I'm not proud of this, but a few times I've emptied my basket into their trolly and walked out.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:34, Reply)
I actually hold you in higher esteem after reading that
and I didn't think that was possible
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:35, Reply)
indeed
the sly extra shopping items is also fun
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:43, Reply)
when people chew with their mouth open
SHUT YER FUCKEN GOB, YOU'RE MAKING ME GAG
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:27, Reply)
You said that in scouse!
Fluently!
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:29, Reply)
That really annoys me
people who have no concept of basic table manners piss me off. In fact, what annoys me more is people who can't be bothered to instill in their offspring basic manners, and then view people who do things like, use a knife and fork corectly, chew with their mouths closed and eat at a table as somehow "posh" or "La de Da" like it's something to be looked down upon.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:29, Reply)
that annoys me too
what's almost worse is that my brother and dad have the same table manners as I, and yet somehow, when they eat they make the most fucking nauseating noise. It's absolutely vile. Not down to eating with the mouth open or anything. I just think they are defective
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:32, Reply)
this most certainly
the only reason you can possibly have for eating with your mouth open is the lack of a nose. Since everybody has a nose - THERE IS NO FUCKING REASON AT ALL TO EAT WITH YOUR GOB WIDER THAN A WHORE'S FUCKING LEGS!!!
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:34, Reply)
My dog has no nose.

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:38, Reply)
good job
otherwise it'd have left you long ago :-P
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:41, Reply)
Oh right!
War is declared.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:43, Reply)
War? huh
what is it good for?

absolutely nothing!
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:04, Reply)
lies
its good for attacking smaller countries for oil, under the guise of a WMD hunt
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 15:01, Reply)
I hate people who scream at their kids in public. My dad had a very good way of just looking at me that made me shut up.

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:35, Reply)
When I hold the door
And somebody just breezes through without so much as a 'thank you'.
I shout "No, thank YOU!" and then shit myself if they're big and scary.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:29, Reply)
Hahahaha
I do that too!! One day I will get punched!
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:31, Reply)
me too
especially as I have started to add "you fucking moron" onto the end of it.

it's usually middle-aged women who do it too. People say that the youth of today are impolite, but that's not true. Their parents' generation are far worse.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:33, Reply)
I once shouted "Fucking indicate!!"
at a taxi driver who turned out to be a very burly taxi-driver indeed. That made it twice he almost killed me then.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:42, Reply)
Silly things that annoy the shit out of me?
People who are such cowards they can't say things as themselves - and need a meat sock to be able to have the guts to say something.

If you're going to be a twat - be a twat as yourself, and don't hide behind some stupid fake persona.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:30, Reply)
Ooooh, get her!

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:33, Reply)
ooo get you too!
All false bravado but you never can say anything as just yourself can you?
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:36, Reply)
Who the fuck do you think you are?
99% of people on here know who I am, and why I use this account. Grow the fuck up.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:47, Reply)
I await your whiny email to me with relish.

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:48, Reply)
Oh I hope it's a good one.
Mind you, now i've said that i'm awaiting disapproval from BGB and Bert.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:48, Reply)
WHYYYY DO YOU HATE MEEEEEEE?

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:53, Reply)
If you like, I'll slap you about a bit while you're waiting.

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:54, Reply)
If you wouldn't mind
I'm just not feeling the hate enough right now.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:55, Reply)
Surely everyone knows who Slip is though?

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:48, Reply)
yep
don't know why though....
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:51, Reply)
*doesn't*
*feels stupid*
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:52, Reply)
Well
if you don't know, I shouldn't tell you, but there are enough obvious clues in many many posts.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:54, Reply)
Shut up you bully
You called me a terrorist.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:02, Reply)
It was by quite clear logic that I called you a terrorist
so you can't blame me.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:13, Reply)
So when I'm unable to speak on the news without the voice of an actor dubbed over me
I'll know who to blame.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:19, Reply)
I tell you what,
watching Gerry Adams with a squeaky voice was one of the best things about tv in the 80s.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:24, Reply)
Was it The Day Today
that had them using helium ballons due to a shortage of actors?
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:26, Reply)
Sounds like it

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:28, Reply)
Awww
I'll gaz you! :D
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:55, Reply)

you're not the only one
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:56, Reply)
...nope...
sorry.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:05, Reply)
Nothing? No tedious comeback? No badly thought out irrational argument?
I'm disappointed.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:06, Reply)
Parents who can't exercise enough authority to keep their children quiet and sit still
If they're too young to know any better, fair enough. But once they're old enough to converse there are no excuses.

On a plane there was some kid shouting and warbling unnecessarily. Mum repsonds with, "Shhhh, dear don't make a noise."

*noise continues*

"The nice people might not like you shouting. Why don't you sing a song instead."

O_o

Seriously, WTF?
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:33, Reply)
People who cannot be bothered to take their shopping trollies back to the many trolly parks dotted around the carpark.
They leave them by the car and drive off.


LAZY BASTARDS!
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:33, Reply)
true
but how would the mongs get employment?
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:35, Reply)
Haha
I very nearly got my head kicked in because of someone leaving their trolley leaning up against my brand new car a few years ago. I marched across the car park and flung the trolley back at them shouting all manner of hate-fulled madness, then I noticed her husband, he looked rather rough, then I looked at the woman, she looked rather rough as did their car, so I ran just in case they killed me or drove into me! :(
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:38, Reply)
supermarket car park snitch
the other week i rolled into a parent and child space, my daughter was somewhat obscured in the back seat and was not visible from outside the car. i glance over to see some fat old cunt muttering to the car park attendant and pointing in my direction. the equally rotund attendant then made towards me, obviously ready to pile on the smug about not using those spaces.

I unfolded myself from the car and opened the back door for my daughter, the sight of her sent the scrote scurrying back to his wanking hole beside the fat old snitch bitch. I marched over to them and asked them 'if there was a problem' to which they muttered and pretended i wasn't there.

Just as well, as i was ready for a full scale bickerfest. But settled for an all day breakfast in the cafe instead.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:49, Reply)
I parked in one once and
got tutted by a lady, I asked if she had a problem and she said 'well you're clearly not supposed to park here, you don't have a child with you' to which I replied 'How dare you, I'm pregnant' and then ran away. Mwahahaha, yes I am childish.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:54, Reply)
Also very annoying......................
People who don't like me.

WHY!

What's wrong with me.

I'm ace.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:36, Reply)
that's why
it's cause your ace- people don't like ace
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:49, Reply)
Rude
queue jumping shitflickers in pubs. they know FINE WELL you were there before them, and when the under pressure bar-keep mistakely goes to serve them first, they whip into action and order up. cheeky CUNTS

but not yesterday, oh no.....i cut this stupid bitch off in mid sentence as she attempted to place an order for a fucking gristle burger or whatever the fuck she was desperate to shove down her piehole. I stepped in and reminded them all that i was there first, as nicely as was possible under the circumstances.

i was waiting on some back chat so i could have launched into a barely civilised tirade against her inability to queue fairly. Fortunately for her she sensed my murderous rage and didn't breathe till i was gone.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:44, Reply)
say what you like about this country
going to hell in a handcart. As long as there are fine men and women upholding the fine British tradition of fair queueing, I'll happy call this place home.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 13:50, Reply)
meat puppet accounts
edit: oh that one has been done

err this might sound sad but people who don't say thankyou when you make them a drink at work. I trained one person up by way of if he didn't say thankyou when I made him a drink I poured it out of the window.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:07, Reply)
Awww
that is mean, if you made me a drink I would say thank you!
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:12, Reply)
In your own very special way

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:17, Reply)
Nope
I save the 'special way' for you!
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:23, Reply)
Umm...
I've not been on off-topic for a while (the people that employ me want me to do something called "work" for some reason), so I'm out of touch with all the slang of today's youf. What's a meat-puppet?
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:19, Reply)
Back to supermarket carparks......
I would like to award first prize for mind-numbingly antisocial parking to the arseh*le who parked his camper van 6 inches from my driver's door in a half-empty Tesco car park, making me clamber very ungracefully from the passenger side.

I left him a note, but he probably couln't read anyway.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:09, Reply)
should have
pissed on his crappervan - that'd've showed him
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:13, Reply)
Or 'tried' to get in and smack your door against his van
before driving off.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:54, Reply)
many times
of course
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 15:02, Reply)
Me

I annoy the shit out of myself for forgetting stuff
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 14:55, Reply)

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