If you could keep someone in a shed at the bottom of your garden
who would it be but more importantly - why would you keep them there?

The more bizarre the reason the better, ta.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 15:56, 145 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bowie
In case I needed to, you know, de-stress from time to time...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:03, Reply)

This is a good idea
I shall consider which pop star I'd have....
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:06, Reply)

I've got an extensive list
You're welcome to use it for ideas, if you like. Meat Loaf's a good starter option - most people would like to stove his fat face in on a regular basis, I should think.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:11, Reply)

Yes
I cheered when he almost died on an episode of House - I was most upset when Huge Lawrie cured him.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:17, Reply)

I love Hugh Laurie
but now I know this I love him a little bit less.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:23, Reply)

great idea
but my only concern would be just how many 'de-stressing' sessions he would take before he snapped in two. My money is on two, possibly three. Then you would be better off punching a bin bag filled with dog food.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:14, Reply)

I would keep Verne Troyer in a little plant pot
and pay him to jump out to swat away all the nasty scary spiders that keep webbing the whole shed up, and maybe get him to do sex with a garden gnome while I watch.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:04, Reply)

Apparently
conkers keeps them away.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:06, Reply)

Clearly you're talking about some sort of voodoo magic
are you a witch?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:10, Reply)

I've been called that

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:18, Reply)

We're going to have to chuck you in the lake to see if you float

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:19, Reply)

I shall swim to the bottom
and then drag you all under when you come back in the summer.

They'll make a film about it and only the virgins will survive.

So most of the members of b3ta will be safe.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:22, Reply)

Woohoo!
I'll be first to go, because I'm a whore
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:27, Reply)

Obviously.
And next to go will be Al and the goats - remember them? Scorned by you all.

Bastards.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:32, Reply)

I'm still in love with the goats
they jsut haven't been mentioned for a while because of that E.Coli outbreak at Horton Farm

I'm the one who infected the animals, and the children
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:41, Reply)

Glad to hear it
poor goats.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:46, Reply)

You could glue loads of hair onto his entire body and call him 'Mini-me'.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:06, Reply)

Good idea
but I prefer to use sellotape when I'm attaching my clippings to midgets
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:11, Reply)

Garden gnomes!
That's what I need.

Ta.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:07, Reply)

Get ones that look mischievous

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:12, Reply)

Mine are going to be evil ones
who whisper and play with magnetic gold fish in their wishing wells.

I've got it all planned out.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:18, Reply)

You'll need a whole army of them
and start them off on one side of your garden, but slowly move them slightly closer to your neighbour's fence every day
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:21, Reply)

And they'll all have bad paint jobs
so they look like burns victims.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:22, Reply)

Bury some of them up to the tip of their hats
and make it look like they're emerging from the ground as zombie gnomes
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:27, Reply)

I think zombies might just be a step too far
I don't want anyone thinking I'm unhinged or anything.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:33, Reply)

Hugh Jackman
Let's see if he can use his Wolverine powers to get him out of that one. I'd also spend years slowly killing him with poison!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:16, Reply)

You're only bitter because he's so damned handsome
and you're, well... B3tan
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:18, Reply)

Handsome my arse
He looks like what lives in my shed already.

He needs to be locked up so he can't destroy any more films.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:20, Reply)

The ladies love him
and to be fair the films he's in are rubbish to begin with, I can't imagine any other other actor being able to save the shite that was Van Helsing
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:22, Reply)

Fuck me
that was POOR, wasn't it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:24, Reply)

The worst film I've seen in decades
even Kate Beckinsale's tight outfit couldn't save that one
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:26, Reply)

Ye Gods
Never mention that film again.

You've got to remember that a lot of ladiez are far too easily swayed by what the media says.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:29, Reply)

Don't generalise about women
all the bitches and ho's in the world hate when guys do that
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:32, Reply)

Oh Yeah I forgot
It's a bit like what you just did then.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:34, Reply)

I'm allowed to
because I'm aware of the female population's lower IQs and weaknesses, and I'm able to exploit them
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:40, Reply)

Yes Bert
We believe you. Millions wouldn't but we do.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:46, Reply)

I would dive into this one
but it's unfair to fight with the unarmed.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:47, Reply)

Unarmed?
I couldn't possibly be unarmed. You see, they stop my shoulders fraying at the ends
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:49, Reply)

Nice.
Very nice.


*tick*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:51, Reply)

Hi
sings
I've got arms, and I know how to use 'em
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:51, Reply)

My point precisely
;)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:52, Reply)

Your
Lecturer is showing.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:53, Reply)

Shit.
I'll cover it up. A longer skirt maybe?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:56, Reply)

Some people like that sort of thing

(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:57, Reply)

Zooey Deshanel,
so she can sing to me and be sexy and that.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:18, Reply)

and that and eat cum.

Edit: Epic fail.
(TheColonel, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:21, Reply)

GOOD STRIKETHROUGH!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:23, Reply)

Haha

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:25, Reply)

I adore her

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:21, Reply)

I do too,
she's awesome, I watched Yes Man last night the only reason i could bare it was that she was in it.
Although Jim Carey kissing her is just another reason to punch him in the face.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:22, Reply)

Now that Katy Perry is with Russell Brand
There really is only Zoe for me now.
Her pretty pretty face. Katy's boobs are still the best though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:23, Reply)

She's not amazingly good looking
but she just seems so cool.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:25, Reply)

She is
She looks like she has come from another realm and her prettiness is offensive to our grey world
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:26, Reply)

She's not ridiculously out of your league* good looking though
which makes her even better

*I'm aware she is out of my league
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:33, Reply)

I suppose...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:35, Reply)

I agree with these statements
me and roota do share the same taste in women

I can't believe katy perry is with russell brand
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:39, Reply)

I don't see the appeal of Katy Perry
This can only mean one thing; WAR
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:39, Reply)

1) boobs
2)open to threesomes
3)boobs.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:40, Reply)

Does she actually swing both ways?
Because even then she's still meh
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:47, Reply)

Bert!!
Have you seen her boobs!
Her milky white skin and her giant blue peepers.
Brunettes rock das haus.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:42, Reply)

^this

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:43, Reply)

Brunettes do indeed rock da house
but don't you think her face is a bit... mannish? She has a square jaw, I don't like her
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:47, Reply)

Only on some pictures
I don't look at her jaw much.
Anyway she's been all hair extensions and fake tan lately. She can suck a camel's ass.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:50, Reply)

She's just bland

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:23, Reply)

No, that's the other one.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:26, Reply)

They're both bland

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:28, Reply)

I feel ill about it
I know she's probably an annoying bitch really, but now I've been faced with a terrible reality and it does not sit well. She is dead to me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:40, Reply)

I can't quite believe it
she's obviously been hypnotised.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:46, Reply)

That tatty-headed twat
He's had his... ARGH!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:52, Reply)

Have you seen the new photo of him
advertising something or other - he's doing the whole Jesus bit - closed eyes, head on one side, bare chested. If he stayed like that and promised not to open his gob and had his hair combed he'd be alright.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:55, Reply)

Maybe he would
But it's still not on. It's out of order.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:00, Reply)

he's on the list
Boy is he on the list...

*cracks knuckles*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:24, Reply)

Alan 'Boss-Eye' Titchmarsh
So the cunt can get clever with the garden, sort it all out, look after the leaf mould etc. Any of his shit and the eyeballs would be getting re-aligned.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:18, Reply)

Tim Minchin
I'd put him down the shed with a piano so he could play me songs every now and then. The rest of the time he could cook me burgers on the BBQ
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:21, Reply)

I don't know what to think of these new comedians
Who come along with their instruments, and sing their sometimes mildly hilarious songs. It seems most people are either very good musicians, or very good comedians, but rarely both.

I think they should all leave it to the master, Bill Bailey
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:24, Reply)

YOU SPEAK THE TRUTH

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:25, Reply)

But saying that
Flight of the Conchords's 'Albi the Racist Dragon' makes me wee myself a bit
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:29, Reply)

Once again, I agree
Fucking hilarious, as is 'Business Time'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:51, Reply)

Don't get me wrong I love The Bailey
He is the master, but Tim Minchin is pretty darn groovy and rather funny and highly talented, especially when he takes the piss out of Elton John! You should give him a chance, you might just like him! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:32, Reply)

I think I saw him live
a couple of years ago at a works do...but I was rather drunk and can't really remember if I imagined it or not.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:35, Reply)

GOOD ANNECDOTE

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:35, Reply)

YES, I LIKE ANNE TOO

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:48, Reply)

I do like Tim
but I saw his hour-long set the other week, out of which about two songs were enjoyable, and he needs to stop wearing make-up and get a haircut, the ginger poof.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:36, Reply)

Aww
*insert sad face here*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:41, Reply)

I do like him though
he's amusing, just not very funny
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:43, Reply)

I heard him on the radio the other day
being interviewed

he was totally hilarious
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:44, Reply)

Coming from Mr 'School of Comedy is excellent'
this comment is meaningless.

EDIT Actually, I'm sure he was, he has his moments
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:45, Reply)

I've revised my opinion on that
it was a temporary aberration and should be stricken from the record
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:46, Reply)

NEVER
Temporary or not, it was still your opinion, and it was wronger than a dog humping a kitten
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:48, Reply)

Oh, like you've never thought about it!

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:56, Reply)

All the time
I once superglued a spaniel to a burmese, just to see how it would look
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:05, Reply)

*sigh*
everyone knows you're supposed to use masking tape - it keeps the edges cleaner.

This is where you've been going wrong for YEARS.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:08, Reply)

Masking tape would tear the fur off
which would leave me with a handy patch to hold onto when it's my turn
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:11, Reply)

See?
Everyone's a winner.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:21, Reply)

Vipros
TO THE RESCUE!!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:55, Reply)

Hehe
I saw him on his Tinselworm tour at Wembley, he was wicked and because I'm signed up to his newsletter thingy I got really wicked seats right at the front! Mwuhahaha!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:38, Reply)

'm signed up to his newsletter thingy slept with him and his entire crew, simultaneously
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:44, Reply)

Oh yeah
a bit of hairy Bill Bailey sex
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:54, Reply)

Nowt wrong with being hairy
*strokes armpits*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:15, Reply)

If you're
Teen Wolf
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:21, Reply)

Which I totally am
I've even been back in time and got off with my mum
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:22, Reply)

I gave him a chance
He failed miserably.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:52, Reply)

You're a hard man to please

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:03, Reply)

and you like that in a man?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:06, Reply)

What a hard man?
Or a hard man to please?

Or both?

Or neither?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:08, Reply)

You're so unfussy
it makes me happy
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:14, Reply)

Meh
What can I say, I'm easily pleased
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:19, Reply)

by men that are difficult to please
Oh, the irony!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:22, Reply)

What about Mitch Benn?
FFS he wrote a song about PIRATES
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:37, Reply)

Who?
I googled him, but don't know his songs. Did he do that shit song about dead people for WatchDog?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:43, Reply)

Ah!
That's it...it wasn't the hairy makeup guy at all - it was Mitch Benn!

He was mildly amusing.


HAPPY NOW PSYCHOCHOMP?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:50, Reply)

Mitch Benn
Does the songs for the NOW SHOW
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:06, Reply)

Never heard of it

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:12, Reply)

Radio 4
Friday evening at 6:30pm unless its the News Quiz.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:14, Reply)

I don't listen to the radio

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:15, Reply)

Well you should
But only Radio 4
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:16, Reply)

no thanks

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:18, Reply)

Your Loss
When you are as old as me, its gives comfort, and something to shout at.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:21, Reply)

I'm ok though, cheers

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:21, Reply)

Oh I saw that
that was shit!! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:09, Reply)

Almost as shit as that bloke's face

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:12, Reply)

Indeedy

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:19, Reply)

and Giles Coren
I hate Giles Coren.

The whole Coren family ought to be drowned in buckets
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:21, Reply)

I like Giles Coren
I'd cook for him and then slather it all over his bitter little body and let the chihuahua out to lick it off.

I think his acerbic wit is rather sexy.

Would.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:23, Reply)

Of course you would, you've got terrible taste
and that's why we haven't hooked up yet
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:27, Reply)

Yet?
Hahahaha!

When you have the Thighs of Steel and are 6' tall you'll be much more my type.

Right now I'd just keep you in a cage as my little monkey toy. You'd like that, wouldn't you?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:48, Reply)

Ray Mears.
He thinks he's shit hot at survival, then lets see how he survives in my shed.
( girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:36, Reply)

He'll gnaw his way out like a beaver

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:37, Reply)

or gnaw BGB's beaver

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:43, Reply)

fnar

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:45, Reply)

I vote for this one
Ray Mears in BGB's shed.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:53, Reply)

Daniel O'Donnell
I shall keep him tied up whilst I pursue my dream of usurping him as the world's pre-eminent crooner of Oirish songs to post-menopausal ladies, taunting him on a daily basis as his legions of followers become mine.
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:44, Reply)

My friend's mum camps out all night for tickets
Don't mess with them. Those bitches are vicious.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:50, Reply)

If only he'd share his secret, the kidnapping wouldn't be necessary
Nor the cattle prod, rubber hose, fire ants or canes
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:00, Reply)

But they'd be fun
wouldn't they?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:09, Reply)

Reading last week's QOTW answers for more ideas
I'd teach him not to share the hot flush brigade with anyone else. It's just greedy, that's what it is.

Oh it'd be so much fun
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:28, Reply)

Fiona Bruce.
She would have to read the news to me every day.

Also:

Stephen Fry for interesting and witty anecdotes. Then, when he'd finished each one, I would have chompy leap out of a cupboard and shout GOOD ANECDOTE, at which point Bruce, Fry and Myself would fall about laughing. Chompy would look all confused, and we'd all say in unison "Oh, Chompy", and open a door where the BBC Philharmonic (there for cultured music events) would play the "Wah-Wah-Waaah" noise from 70s comedy.

And Esther Rantzen, so I could hit her while yelling "THAT'S LIFE, BITCH! AND NOW, AND INTERESTING MISPRINT THAT SAYS 'PENIS'! WALLS!"
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:21, Reply)

Hahaha
This^ but with Kirsty Young
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:24, Reply)

I like this.
And I am saddened that a click would be useless.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:25, Reply)

Tell him to post it as a new thread
if we both click it, it might appear on the /all page

EDIT but I wonder how Flim Flam feels about DiT's longings for Fiona Bruce?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:27, Reply)

She knows, my friend.
Just as I know about her and that meathead Statham.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:29, Reply)

Crunk made me laugh the other night
It's like GTA the movie, if it was done by drunk children
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:30, Reply)

I must admit
I do like the 'Crank' film (haven't seen the second). It's mindless rubbish, but still enjoyable. See also The Transporter, The Transporter 2.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:34, Reply)

Aythangew! :)

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 17:30, Reply)

Natascha Kampusch
ain't life a bitch.
(knackerz is skinning up, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 2:16, Reply)