Why do all the males on off-topic own griddle pans, play the guitar and are wine/real ale fanatics?
Do you unconciously seek each other out?
( girlinthehole, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:39, 116 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I own none of the above.
But I'm pretty much below the radar on here, so you'e forgiven for not noticing.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:42, Reply)

Not true
...my guitar playing is very basic.

(I kick ass with a bodhran though.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:42, Reply)

No guitars played here.
Ok for the rest though.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:44, Reply)

Only the last one applies to me.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:44, Reply)

this ^
(and whisky)
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:08, Reply)

Only the first two for me
Stopped drinking a year and 9 months ago.

It must be some sort of magnetic attraction between the guitars and the griddle pans and the bottles that attract us all together.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:45, Reply)

I'm guilty of
Owning the Griddle Pan
Playing Guitar
and love red wine and real ale.

I didn't consciously come here because of that so perhaps it is an unconscious thing.

However this thread has taught me how to spell unconsciously.
( Peej, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:47, Reply)

I knew I'd spelt it wrong.
I was placing bets on who would point it out first.
( girlinthehole, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:49, Reply)

I only point it out because I also spelt it wrong
and the spell checker beat me up about it.
( Peej, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:51, Reply)

Should've been me
I am the spelling vulture on your shoulder usually, eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:59, Reply)

I don't have a griddle pan
But I do have a George Foreman grill :0)
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:49, Reply)

That's spooky
DiT likes his real ale and owns a griddle... no guitar... yet.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:51, Reply)

The thingy went well
Different from your case though.
We once had a mean woman here who's retired. I got plenty of advice/warning from her previous victims before I worked with her so knew how to pre-empt it.
Some people we just couldn't warn in time and she made their lives a misery.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:08, Reply)

Aww
There are people out there like that, it makes me sad!! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 1 Dec 2009, 17:00, Reply)

Unlike many of the others above
I play the guitar, but that's it of the 3. Saying that, I don't even own a frying pan.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:57, Reply)

Because these things are awsome

and togther equal a fun night in full of meaty goodness and alcoholic ramblings
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:57, Reply)

I actually like working
Don't own a griddle pan, don't play the guitar very well, but I do love the real ale though.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:58, Reply)

GUILTY AS CHARGED
I think I might be one of the ringleaders of this coven.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:58, Reply)

me too
I don't have my griddle pan yet.

I soon will though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:00, Reply)

Hmmmm Virpos with a griddle pan
I sense a smug overload!
( Peej, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:01, Reply)

Is it possible to griddle a croissant successfully?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:04, Reply)

I'm much more smug when playing the guitar
than I am when cooking
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:05, Reply)

Hmm
I want a griddle pan, can't play the guitar for shit, but am a huge fan of Ale, and some wines.

Had a lovely bottle of white Chilean the other day (not sure what grape variety). Was only £3 from Co-Op, down from £8, result!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:01, Reply)

Hello

( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:03, Reply)

Just the red wine for me
Never found a white I like, no guitar or griddle pan. Quite keen on real ale, though.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:02, Reply)

Guilty as charged
Although if I'd subconsciously sought these people...would I be aware that I had?

(You forgot to mention that we're all dreadful, tiresome pedants as well)
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:03, Reply)

I don't own a griddle pan
But I do play the guitar and like real ale.

I would never have purposefully sought out you bunch of lolfatty losers had I known what you were like in advance.
( djtrialprice, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:04, Reply)

Anyone wanna buy a bass guitar?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:06, Reply)

Would say I'm quite happy with the one I've got...
...but what are you selling? I'm curious either way.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:08, Reply)

I can't remember
It's no super-duper make.
It was about £200 and it's been in my next-door neighbour's cupboard for two years.
I was never a bassist but had to buy one because I was in a band years ago. The bassist wasn't really a bassist and didn't have one so we had to buy him one.
i'll have a look at it when I'm next door. I may as well flog it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:20, Reply)

I'll pass, thanks all the same
Just wanted to make sure I wasn't passing up an opportunity to upgrade to a second-hand Fender or something! Still, if it's not been used all that much you could probably get a decent price for it on eBay.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:26, Reply)

I'll get round to it at some point.
Might as well.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:30, Reply)

Nope
But thanks for the offer, it's much appreciated.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:08, Reply)

Gwan fuck off

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:23, Reply)

How hard is it to learn to play bass?
I've seen bass players, it can't be terribly complicated.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:10, Reply)

less strings
however owning great big mitts is a help
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:16, Reply)

this is exactly right
www.b3tards.com/u/48ca4e4a50b7cad28251/intersection-phil.jpg
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:17, Reply)

I found it hard
Because I can only play a bit of rhythm guitar. I found I couldn't sing and play at the same time, as I have little co-ordination.
I'm not fussy on it when the singer plays bass anyway. It freaks me out.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:22, Reply)

*Tries to stand up for bass players everywhere*
*buckles under greater weight of bass guitar*
*resorts to youtube instead*
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPnWDimkZnI
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:31, Reply)

Ohh yeah!
I just tried unsuccessfully to locate Fairport Convention at Glastonbury 71 on YouTube - bass playing of equal calibre to The Ox.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:35, Reply)

Well, in the meantime
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnigicAppns
I actually prefer his sound from this era, before he started putting fancy effects on it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:49, Reply)

I play the guitar and I'm an ale fanatic
Only I'm not a man.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:10, Reply)

Marry me!

( djtrialprice, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:12, Reply)

thank fuck for that
I knew if I waited 2 mins someone else would say it first

(only kidding madam if you are reading this in the future)
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:13, Reply)

Sorry, I'm taken
But I'll consider your offer if something changes... Or to better say it, if something doesn't changes and my bf doesn't propose soon!!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:14, Reply)

See that guys?
I'm totally in with a girl from teh internetz.
( djtrialprice, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:15, Reply)

*envies*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:19, Reply)

Tell you what
I'll do you a temporary trade of a few real internet girlz with real breasts for your mental ex.
( djtrialprice, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:21, Reply)

DONE
(you have been)

You'll spend the rest of your frightened little life sleeping with a knife under your pillow...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:25, Reply)

I've only had one mental g/f before
And it was one too many. I still live in fear of meeting her again.
( djtrialprice, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:27, Reply)

Who tells you
that the internet girl is not mental too?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:40, Reply)

GOOD POINT

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:48, Reply)

INTERLOPER!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:12, Reply)

Tonight
I think I'll get pissed on fine wine and then play slide guitar using the handle of my griddle pan.

Take THAT muthafuckahs!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:10, Reply)

I'm not quite feeling the smugness
I'm sorry, I'm just not.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:15, Reply)

I don't play the guitar
and I prefer larger for 51 weeks a year.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:12, Reply)

NAWTY STEP
this heathen!
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:13, Reply)

BEARDS!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:14, Reply)

I unfortunatly have a bit of a beard at the moment,

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:15, Reply)

HIPPIE!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:17, Reply)

I know,
I'll have to shave it off tonight.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:18, Reply)

good lad

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:18, Reply)

Maybe beards are the 'gateway drug'
that lead to the other, harder stuff like griddle pans?


*strokes (bearded) chin*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:16, Reply)

if you'd mentioned the beard before
then you would have scored HUGE smug points and my previous comments would have been null and void.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:17, Reply)

YESSSS!!!!!
*punches air*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:19, Reply)

I don't have a beard!
FUCK!
( Peej, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:20, Reply)

just think how smug you could be if you had a shit floyd tribute act

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:20, Reply)

I can but dream
That level of smugness can only be attained by a very special elite few. With 'mature model' girlfriends.

*is crushed at the realisation I'll always be B-list smug*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:27, Reply)

why did he need to tell us all that crap?
why Monty, why?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:29, Reply)

I don't think we'll ever know.
Next-level smugness, I told you - beyond the ken of mortal man.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:36, Reply)

I think you are right
does he have a beard though?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:37, Reply)

a six-footer, I'll be bound

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:40, Reply)

the dastardly swine

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:42, Reply)

Come on mate
Pink Floyd tribute bands aren't the be all and end all

*proffers shoulder*

However, mature model girlfriends, well, as you say, that's a different level altogether.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:32, Reply)

but....but....
he's organised a festival too!!

*wails*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:37, Reply)

I have a beard
I play guitar (a Gibson Epi no less!), I have a fookin gorgeous mrs (most folks agree with that) and a massive winky.

I'm leagues above the 'special elite' that you mention
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:37, Reply)

unless she's a 'mature model'
and you do edgy, cool standup as well then you're DREAMING, pal.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:38, Reply)

FUCK
I completely forget about the 'edgy' stand-up.

Oh wait, can i piss on your chips a little more? You don't fly a helicopter as well do you? If not, then just get yer coat, and get tay fuck.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:43, Reply)

www.b3tards.com/u/78d66e9f92dc4e8d9be9/lucywhoo.jpg

*smug*
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:44, Reply)

not NEARLY 'mature' enough
And she doesn't look like a turps drinker, either.

Sorry, you're B-list mate, like the rest of us.

DEAL WITH IT
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:50, Reply)

turnips!
I will strive to be better than you all.

Cunts!
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:52, Reply)

cough gibsons are shit cough

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:39, Reply)

Angus Young and Pete Townshend disagree
as does Jimmy Page and one or two other 'entry level' banjoists.....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:40, Reply)

I know
I just don't see the attraction. they are really bottom heavy and the necks are too fat and too short.

I haven't played on in a while though. maybe I should have another go. let's face it though, I can be a lot more smug with a gold Strat than I could with any type of gibson
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:42, Reply)

Each to their own I suppse
I absolutely love the shape of the SG but they are really off balance, I grant you. I'm no professional, really I don't know shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:44, Reply)

I like the SG as well
doesn't suit me playing them though.

I was mainly talking about Les Paul's.

I'd get a kicking if I even thought of buying another guitar though. Fortunately mine are enough to keep me satisfied for the time being.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:46, Reply)

Les Pauls are fucking ugly I reckon
I like the 60s Rickenbackers. I don't have one, I just like 'em.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:50, Reply)

guy from our bodmin office has one
think it is a 60s one. really fucking nice. he plays proper punk music on it.

just look at my glorious guitar though
www.b3tards.com/u/48ca4e4a50b7cad28251/v.jpg

and my guitar face
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:52, Reply)

Beautiful mate (guitar and guitar face)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:58, Reply)

That's fookin beautiful!
I an honestly say that's one of the finest guitars I've seen in a long time
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 17:03, Reply)

it sounds and plays as good as it looks
couldn't abide the thought of a red, black or sunburst one, and had to put the black scratchplate on myself to complete the look
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 17:07, Reply)

You mean to say...
...they put a white scratchplate on that body?
*shudders*
Looks so much better with the black one
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 17:18, Reply)

I know
took it into the shop to get a setup a while back and the old dude in the shop opens the case and goes "that looks the fucking business"

I was pleased
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 17:19, Reply)

I like them in that creamy ivory colour
like wot Jimi played. For that reason - but yours is indeed luvverly.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 17:28, Reply)

Beards FTW

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:28, Reply)

Oh dear...
I lurve red wine and real ale and I have 2 griddle pans and three guitars!

But I'm a girl - does that count?
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:22, Reply)

you could marry
djtrialprice as above?
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:25, Reply)

sorry
alas my heart belongs to another
( djtrialprice, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:26, Reply)

I hope that "another" is me
Otherwise, you better go back to sleeping with a knife under your pillow
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:41, Reply)

I just read your profile
(mainly to see if contained HOT PICS ¬_¬ )

but I see that you live in Manchester and like Spidey comics. You're therefore a perfect match for my best mate from uni who lives in Sale and also collects Marvel comics - of which spiderman is his favourite. I'll graciously step aside. Hurry up and finish with your non-proposing boyfriend.
( djtrialprice, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:46, Reply)

Oh, well
If it's not you, it's nobody :(
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:49, Reply)

Fair enough
When shall I drive up the M6 for all the sex?
( djtrialprice, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:52, Reply)

Good question
I´ll check with my PA and let you know soon.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 1 Dec 2009, 20:05, Reply)

*rubs thighs a la Vic Reeves*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:28, Reply)

It's like,
ZZ Top featuring on Come Dine with Me in here!

I've been hairy faced in the past
Always loved the wine
While i don't own a griddle, i do bbq in all manner of weathers, as I haz chiminea. I can even cook pizza in it.
Never played the guitar in a serious manner, but can get a good tune out of my hairy banjo.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:27, Reply)

I might get me one of the chimenia things
Are they any good in the rain?
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:38, Reply)

Yeah, brilliant
Just fire in a load of wood, charcoal, whatever and let it settle down. it acts like a mini oven and is much better than a regular bbq as you can just swing the grill out with all the stuff on, so there is no real, fat sparking drama, and you don't get burnt.

The Argos had a large one, for about £80, which we got. They are also great for just having a cheeky fire in, perhaps to burn some blood soaked clothes or whatever.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:46, Reply)

*pricks up ears*
Is that so...?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:53, Reply)

It is also generous enough to accomodate pre-prepared body parts,
or maybe just to relax beside after a hard day full of amazing sex, helicoptering, festival organising and shitting in handbags.

Getting the chiminea would be the easy part, attaining a lifestyle with that amount of smugness is effectively impossible.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:58, Reply)

CURSES
Dreams crushed once again....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:59, Reply)

I long for a griddle pan, and the palette for fine qine/ beer,
but the best I can do is a cheapish tefal number and dirty lager.
(TheColonel, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:36, Reply)

I don't own a griddle pan, I only play the guitar baddly, and I don't like wine or beer.
But I am excedingly good looking.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:51, Reply)

can you play that Wonderwall one?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:55, Reply)

Nah', been askin' 'round for someone to teach me, seems it's quite a 'ard one to learn.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 17:12, Reply)

Ooh dear!
Griddle pan - check.
Love of fine wine - check. (Can't stand real ale)
Beard - check.
Guitar playing* - check.
Lots of guitars - check. (Anyone want to buy a cedar-topped electro acoustic?)

I am not a meme!



* As 1/2 of the famous Belmers**
** Laziest, 2nd least talented band*** in christendom.
*** We used to be the least talented band but then came Jedward FFS.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 17:45, Reply)

it's more that real men do all of the above
so the proportion is always going to be high

unless you go on /talk
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 17:56, Reply)