Dontcha just love getting dumped 3 weeks before Christmas?
What's pissed you off lately?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 7:36, 60 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Looking on the bright side
You can get up to guiltless shenanigans at the Christmas parties.
You don't have to buy them a present.

What's pissed me off lately? Finding out I have to work between Christmas and New Year.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 7:46, Reply)

I guess that is the bright side.
But I work from home for myself, and already bought his present and the airline won't refund it.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 7:58, Reply)

can you reschedule?
Use the value of the ticket against a new purchase?

Change the name on the ticket in which case you maybe able to scrape a few quid back by advertising online that some needy, broke soul might get home for Xmas?

rafter
baz

ps: sorry about the arsehole - if he's that fucking soulless, then you know you're better shot of him.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 8:08, Reply)

Unfortutanely, it was one of those
"special saver" super cheap tickets. Not refundable, not transferable.
I could always call and claim the "dead mum" thing....they don't HAVE to know it was two years ago.........but that would be WRONG. In so many ways. But it may just get me out of it......
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 8:14, Reply)

naa, fuck 'em
it's not going to hurt them any, and I'm sure your mum wouldn't have minded, given the circumstances
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:09, Reply)

it won't - they'll ask for the death cert.
Least they did when I worked for airlines.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 12:24, Reply)

I'm pissed off to find I can't work between christmas and new year
it's awesome - the roads are quiet, the carpark is empty, the manager is absent. I can get a lot of work done (or none if I prefer).

Then use the holiday some other time.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 8:10, Reply)

Is this a good thing or a bad thing then?
Would you get OT if you worked during the holidays?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 8:15, Reply)

Not for the non-holiday days - 29th, 30th, 31st.
I like working them - minimum time spent commuting and peace once there. But our new office is in a building that's closed over those days.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:32, Reply)

You know what really grinds my gears?
America

Fuck you America
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:13, Reply)

Concussing myself - that's pretty damn annoying and embarrassing.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:17, Reply)

Christmas is irrelevant being dumped sucks at any time.
I once bought an super saver airline ticket to the states and got dumped. I called up and gave the dead friend story and they couldn't refund it but they did give me credit against another flight which I never used so lost it anyway. But give them a sob story.

Sorry about you being dumped though.
( Peej, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:21, Reply)

Pretty much everything pisses me off all the time
It's my default setting.

EDIT: the thing about getting dumped is that if one of the parties doesn't want to be with the other long-term then splitting up is doing everyone a favour - the cruellest thing to do is NOT to split up with someone you aren't happy with. I've only ever been dumped once in my life and in the long run I've nothing but praise for the woman for doing it. It was a 7.5 year relationship and we both still really got on - could easily have squandered another couple of years plodding along but her heart wasn't in it.

I don't think people who have the bottle to finish with someone get enough credit. People who walk out of a job that's making them unhappy get a 'good for you' whereas if someone does that in a relationship - which is a fuck's sight harder than just handing in your notice - they get criticised.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:23, Reply)

you big moody bastard

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:25, Reply)

FACK ORF

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:35, Reply)

get orf moi laaaand!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:38, Reply)

*hums starman*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:29, Reply)

*arms missiles*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:35, Reply)

Ground beef whiskas for ginger tom,
Ground beef whiskas for ginger tom,
Take your worming pills and put your flea collar on,
Woooaaaaaaeeeeerrrrrrraaaaoooooogggghhhhhhheeeeeerrrraaaaayyy! Fuckin' ell!!!
This is ginger tom to David Sole,
I'm puking on the floor,
The room is floating in a most peculiar way-ay,
Some bastard spiked my whiskas cat food yesterday-ay,
For him, Am I honking in a tin can?
( Peej, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:41, Reply)

'in a most-a pe-cu-liah wae-heeeh'
*gnashes teeth*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:47, Reply)

*legs it*







waiting in the sky...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:42, Reply)

I had that stuck in my head last night
somehow went from singing "just one cornetto" to singing starman
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:38, Reply)

'cornetto' is an infinitely better song
I don't want to 'let all the children boo-geh' you bonk-eyed simpleton.

I watched the recently-released Small Faces DVD last night. They had moments of pure genius those chaps. Ogden's Nut Gone Flake is one of my favourite LPs ever, and the DVD has them performing all of side 1 in sequence with Stanley Unwin doing the links. Utter magic.

And not so much as a fucking hint of children 'boogeh-ing' anywhere in sight.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:40, Reply)

but but but
he'd like to come and meet us but he thinks he'd blow our minds!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:43, Reply)

he'd blow a horses dick

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:44, Reply)

this is probably true

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:48, Reply)

...and there's nothing you can do

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:49, Reply)

Sorry I am late...
...did I miss some Bowie baiting?

Have we not already established that he is a gozzy-eyed, overrated, pompous fuck-knuckle?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:57, Reply)

I thought we had, but there appear to be some who can't keep up

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:58, Reply)

I don't know why we bother....

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:00, Reply)

*sighs*
You try and help people....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:02, Reply)

I'd blow his kneecaps off with a fucking sawn-off shotgun

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:48, Reply)

I'd blow his knee c aps o ff with a fu ck ing sawn-off shotgun
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:51, Reply)

very nice
true as well
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:53, Reply)

If tonight
or perhaps another night, soon - or not so soon - you think you hear something outside, late at night, just think...it just might be me, armed to the fucking teeth, coming to teaspoon your eyes out for that.

Is it just the wind through the trees...or not....? Was that just a fox.....OR NEMESIS?

Let me just leave that with you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:01, Reply)

my house is a fucking fortress
good luck with that

also, even if I am outside enjoying a reefer, I have cunningly put noisy stones down on the path in my garden so can hear someone coming through the garden.

not to mention the booby-trapped gate
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:03, Reply)

These things are of no concern
to a highly trained ninja such as myself. If I can get past Bowie's top-spec security systems to Stanley-knife his priceless art collection, do you really think a couple of noisy stones will get in my way?

Sleep well....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:07, Reply)

pah
if you were a ninja, then I'd already be dead
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:15, Reply)

well maybe you are, and this is hell?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:22, Reply)

wouldn't surprise me

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:25, Reply)

Dontcha wish your boyfriend was... ... ...

(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:44, Reply)

Awful awful people

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:49, Reply)

IPC Subeditors Dictate Our Youth
I got a load of people magazine subscriptions for Xmas, and they have already been sent letters telling them I did so. I had requested that the info be sent to me so I could put them in cards to be opened on Xmas day.

Now they won't believe in Father Xmas because of these bastards. Xmas is spoilt!

*runs crying*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:55, Reply)

what complete cunts
however, it's a good present. I've been getting a subscription to goodfood magazine for the last few years from my gf's parents, and it's great. so good that I've got my mum a subscription this year, and got my bro's gf one for her birthday earlier in the year
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 9:58, Reply)

Ah, bulk-buying, like it
I subscribe to Classic Rock magazine - it gives me something to shout at on the bog.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Instead of the Lords Prayer...
...you scream 'Jeeeffffff Beeeecccckkkkkkkkkk' whilst crying?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:06, Reply)

I recite the pompous micro-penis-wanking lyrics of The Wall
I think it gives my cry-wanks some much-needed gravitas.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:12, Reply)

I find that wailing, speaking in tongues and gnashing of teeth to be most satisfactory on those occasions

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:16, Reply)

Crucifix inserted in anus...
...for that added element of naughtiness?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:20, Reply)

Excellent idea
Do you know where I got the whole 'wanking whilst crying and screaming the Lord's Prayer' thing from?

Albert Fish, that's who. My (not entirely pleasant) brother's obsessed with him. And some Russian cannibal dude - and anyone else like that, such as the Croydon samurai-sword-attack-in-church chappie.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_fish
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:30, Reply)

I thought he was a weather man...
...no wonder he missed that hurricane, dirty bleeder.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Worst thing is my mum...
...she asked if she could change her subscription to another magazine.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:04, Reply)

maybe she just wasn't ready for 'Readers Wives'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:07, Reply)

Now now.
She has appeared in it so many times she has a lifetime, honorary subscription.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:19, Reply)

I might ask for a sub to readers wives from my in laws

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:11, Reply)

That is litterally the worst thing I've ever heard happening to someone, ever.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 11:00, Reply)

Sorry to hear that
it's better that he does it now rather than in the new year (which is a busy time in dumpsville). This way you can look back on Christmas and not see everything he did and said as one big lie.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 10:20, Reply)

It has to be done when it has to be done.
Otherwise, oh no it's just before Christmas.
Oh no, it's just before new year.
Oh no, just after the holidays.
Oh no, just before Valentine's Day.
Oh no, just after Valentine's Day.
Oh no, we'd already booked a holiday.

Throw in birthdays and anniversaries and if you're that worried about it being the wrong time you'll never do it.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 11:16, Reply)

I once spent the best part of a year doing that
but I was younger then and had an over-active sense of guilt
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 11:40, Reply)

This is the same one who
bpught you groceries just the other day? If so, seems like he was feeling guilty.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 12:59, Reply)