I am reminded why I don't use banks
I'm working on a project with a friend of mine - the server is held at his house for the moment while we develop.

He's just had his Internet cut off.

He phoned his ISP to find out why, and apparently they changed 'their billing' on the 10th March, and apparently he hasn't paid his bill...only, he has, by Direct Debit - to whom, no-one seems to know, but in the meantime we can do no work until it's resolved and he has an internet connection once again.

Ok, this time it may not have been the banks fault, but if he'd paid a year in advance in cash like I do, then we'd still be working.
(dchurch bah, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:29, 106 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*sits back and waits for al*

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:30, Reply)

I was busy working up a massive head of rage
and then you had to go and post that.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:39, Reply)

I'm lazy and wanted you to do all the work.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Catface was whinging about that side of you just the other day

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Ha. In that case I won't be washing his socks in this afternoon's laundry.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Yeah! You show him, the whiny little shit.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Oh man, this is SO getting moved here. I'm raging.
I HATE TALK TALK.
Because they are a bunch of cunts.
Except for the lad just now who tried to chat me up. He's not a massive cunt. He's just a cheeky little pup. But he was the Wrong Department, so I reckon if I'd actually spoken to him about the problem I have he would have turned out to be a fucking cunt as well.

I CLOSED MY ACCOUNT IN NOVEMBER. STOP SENDING ME BILLS AND DON'T TELL ME "It doesn't matter as long as they're bills for minus figures and you're not being charged, does it?" BECAUSE YES IT FUCKING DOES!

I no longer have an account with you, so stop being shady cunts and making it look like I have. Fuck off. I'm shagging BT now. It's over. Accept. Don't contact me again with your -£7.50 bills. Me and BT right, we're happy together. They give me good internet. Go away, you gormless set of bastards.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Surely if they're sending you bills for -£7.50
you should ring the bastards up and demand the already overdue payment of £7.50 they clearly owe you? They'll either stop sending the letters sharpish or you'll make a pretty penny out of their stupidity...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I never thought of that.
But to be fair, I just want them to fuck off.
I hated them the moment I got with them. Sarcastic South African cunts.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:35, Reply)

At the risk of sounding dreafully racist
the last time I was looking for a new place to live, I spoke to a number of estate agents but just couldn't bring myself to trust the South African ones. Is it the accent, or are they just much more pushy than their British colleagues?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:36, Reply)

More pushy
"Do you WANT to save money or not, Miss Roota??"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:40, Reply)

Ha! That does sound eerily familiar
I noticed one of them tried to pull the trick of casually mentioning that her little one had just started school - read: "I could really use the commission on this one" - well, if you needed it that badly then you wouldn't have shown us one place that completely missed our requirements and another which was miles out of our price range, you daft bint.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:44, Reply)

See?
Cunts.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:45, Reply)

The S.A.
mortgage broker I used many years ago, accidently misplaced my passport.

My sister used his services a year or so later, and he accidently misplaced hers. My boss was using him at the same time, and coincidently, his passport went missing too.

They are an abent minded lot, these South Africans.
(dchurch bah, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:54, Reply)

*sings*
I've never met a Nice South African
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:47, Reply)

and that's not bloody surprising, man
'Cos we're a bunch of arrogant bastards
Who hate black people
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:50, Reply)

This
Every time they sent you a minus bill send an invoice for the same amount to their finance department.
(bill, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Your username is marvellously appropriate for this subthread.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Ha!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:39, Reply)

I can never be arsed
I bought something that reeked of turps. Emailed them and told them.
They said "No probs, send it back and we'll give you a voucher to boot."
I didn't.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Haaaaaaahahahaha - you're angry ONLINE

( thealternativefact, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Oh I'm in a blind rage Clentits!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:35, Reply)

You should post this on /talk

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Alright Al

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:41, Reply)

i misread the first line as
"I hate /talk"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Blind ey?
*cops a feel*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Fwoar!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:43, Reply)

the debt company chasing my Pipex bill from 2 years ago have now given papers to a solicitor

with which to take me to court. www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post674127

None of the basterds care that this was their fault and I'm trying to fix it, they just carry on regardless, utter utter cunts
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:43, Reply)

You don't use banks?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:36, Reply)

No
I found that when I did, I was constantly having to sort out their mess - and find myself out of pocket for the trouble.
(dchurch bah, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:40, Reply)

So all your money is in your house?
When are you next out?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:43, Reply)

I'm not going anywhere near that mattress.
( thealternativefact, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Ha
I have a safe.
(dchurch bah, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I have an
oxygen/acetylene torch.

GAME. ON
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Nope.
You win. It's fireproof, but I doubt it'd stand up to that.
(dchurch bah, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Are you a French peasant?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Or any tax payer in the developed world
littlebitofpoliticsforyouthere
(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:46, Reply)

And do you know what the best thing about that is?
I'm irrelivently cooking a Green Thai Curry in my Slow Cooker, first thing I've cooked in it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:39, Reply)

I like curry
What are you currying?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Does it have jellypenos in it?
*hopes*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:45, Reply)

It's irrelivent.
But probably sweets from across the road.
( thealternativefact, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:47, Reply)

I heard that you won't try my cooking because you know you'll need to bring some leather knickers...
... because my food is so good, you'll need non-absorbant knickers, but you'll be walking around with a water balloon between your legs until you get the chance to change them... but you'll have to change them in the bath so that you don't make a mess.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:49, Reply)

I already have some leather knickers, so I ain't bovvered about that.

( thealternativefact, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Chicken Thighs, so really it's "Chicken Thigh Thai Curry", which is what I'm going to offically call it as it sounds ace..
I got 9 for under a fiver at my butchers.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:47, Reply)

That was one fucked up chicken

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:48, Reply)

It is now.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:49, Reply)

ha!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Can you put the recipe on your blog please?
I'm doing your pie on Saturday.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:04, Reply)

Oh man! A slow cooker?
They're awesome!

I use mine for Bolognaise and Chilli mainly, it's ace.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:48, Reply)

It's like Back to the Future, they're going to be the big thing last year.
Right, I've got to dash out, toodles pplz !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:50, Reply)

I don't quite get slow cookers
particularly as my oven has some very low settings

I have too many gadgety kitchen things already anyway. but the breadmaker and the george are staying.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:57, Reply)

surely cooking things
sooner is better. Slow cooker for me would just mean waiting longer to find my cooking has fucked up
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:00, Reply)

if you are intending to cook something for a long time on a low heat
it is generally harder to fuck it up.

some things benefit from a long cooking time, like casseroles and stews and most things with lamb in them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:01, Reply)

it's more time in which
I will get distracted and forget I'm cooking
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:02, Reply)

won't matter
you're cooking something for like 8 hours, a couple more won't hurt

you'll remember when you get hungry
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:03, Reply)

what!
forward planning?! Perhaps one day I shall try this thing
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:04, Reply)

Does it not use loads of electricty/gas?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:10, Reply)

no idea
I don't have one

I imagine they are reasonably efficient.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:17, Reply)

do you not have trouble getting things like mortgages and wages and stuff?
I'd love to not use a bank, I hate them. They cost me hundreds more than they've ever benefited me. I wanted to keep my money in a sock under my bed.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:58, Reply)

how often would you make deposits to the sock under your bed?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:59, Reply)

"insert awful innuendoes"

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:00, Reply)

I'll fucking insert her innuendoes

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:05, Reply)

you're all disgusting
and should be ashamed.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:05, Reply)

I'd fucking dis her gusset

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:06, Reply)

tenuous
but the judges will allow it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:16, Reply)

RESULT!

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:19, Reply)

I find your lack of bank use interesting
I understand that many people have had problems with banks.

ready for the smug bit?

I've never had a problem with a bank. I've been with natwest my whole life, and have had nothing but excellent service from them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I've never had a problem with my bank
My Mrs has never had a problem with her bank, my parents have never had a problem with their bank. I don't think I actually know anyone who has had a problem with their bank.

I've also never had a speeding ticket or a parking fine. Crazy eh?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:04, Reply)

are you enjoying that croissant
of smugness?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:06, Reply)

Aye, It's reet fookin tasty that like.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:06, Reply)

you can't be smug
oop in t'north
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:12, Reply)

That's because there's nothing to be smug about.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:31, Reply)

I had my first speeding ticket this year
had a couple of parking tickets. one pissed me off because my ticket blew over when I shut the door AND THE CUNT PARKING WARDEN SAW IT AS I WAS WALKING AWAY AND DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:10, Reply)

A warden once watched me buy a ticket and walk away and then
gave me a ticket as I was in the only residenst bay on the entire fucking street, all others were residents OR pay and display.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:14, Reply)

fucking cunts

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:15, Reply)

Yeah, people so stupid that they can't identify a residents parking bay
really piss me off.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:17, Reply)

You
must be the lucky ones then.

I don't think I've ever come across anyone that hasn't had trouble of some kind with their bank.

Of course, it could just be that you don't ever check it with enough detail, and thus they are ripping you off as you type, and you obliviously believe that you are having no problems with them.

...or, you've just been lucky.
(dchurch bah, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:12, Reply)

I don't think either of us, or the other people we know with no problems
are cretinous enough to not notice that we are being ripped off.

I've had maybe 2 sets of charges levelled against me, and a brief polite phone call was all it took to get them removed.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:14, Reply)

Yes of course
I'm being ripped off to the tune of millions because I don't look at my account.

The only thing I'm being ripped off is the piss poor rate of interest in my ISA. But the reason for this is that I haven't got round to switching it yet, and probably won't bother until next year. So it's entirely my own fault.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:18, Reply)

what rate is it?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:19, Reply)

0.5%
Bit pointless really.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:23, Reply)

that is awfully low
not sure what mine is. was like 5.4% when I signed up, but that seems unlikely now.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:34, Reply)

The highest around seem to be 3%
but I think the best deal is Santander and I don't trust them. When I most recently looked First Direct were doing a good deal on transfer in ISAs
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:37, Reply)

looking at mine it appears as if it is probably 0.5% these days as well
that would trouble me more if the money in it was actually mine
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Where you aware that Student Loans are currently not accruing any interest?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:49, Reply)

I was completely unaware of that
I tend to ignore my student loan because it is so big
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:50, Reply)

^This
apart from when Icesave collapsed and I lost my savings (for 6 weeks). Oh well, it's all part of lifes rich tapestry.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:12, Reply)

oh fuck off
Of all days I could do without smugness from you it's today.

Bitchwhoreathon next to me is being super fucking smug about fucking everything and I am proper close to having a bit of a cty
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:06, Reply)

Box her and mail her to Kabul

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:09, Reply)

I do have a lot of boxes
at my disposal...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:10, Reply)

I read that as mail her to Kaol
thought that'd be a bit harsh
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:11, Reply)

But cheaper

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:14, Reply)

And more effective at making sure she doesn't come back

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Plus you'd get the satisfaction of a job well done
when Kaol posted the results of his vivisection experiments.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:24, Reply)

you'd better hope that he receives her and does his business before the weekend though
otherwise she might be down in cornwall too
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:32, Reply)

she's going down later this month

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:48, Reply)

that bitch
you should cut her up
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:49, Reply)

punch her in the tits

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Or apply a vigorous cunt punt

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Cunt Punt for phrase of the day!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:13, Reply)

smugness from anyone else is fine though right?
forgive my lack of sympathy

in fact, don't
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:11, Reply)

No one else comes remotely close to your true levels of smugness
they are wannabesmugees
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:23, Reply)

I dunno
Al is right up there
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:35, Reply)

*chews croissant*
Sorry, what did you say? I was miles away.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:35, Reply)

bank use interesting
I understand that many people have had problems with banks.

ready for the smug bit?

I've never had a problem with a bank. I've been with natwest my whole life, and have had nothing but excellent service from them.
faith disturbing.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:14, Reply)

that was what was going through my head as I wrote it
:-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:16, Reply)