It's Wiggy's birthday tomorrow so we're having a barbecue on Saturday (weather permitting)
I'm going to make coronation chicken, potato salad and coleslaw. FROM SCRATCH. The barbecuing itself is up to the menfolk.

Besides the massive piles of meat, obviously, what else would you include?

If you hate food threads, tell me a fire related horror story.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:06, 173 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Beer.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I was going to do jugs of Pimms and Mojitos
I keep wanting to spell jugs with two Gs, I don't know why.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Make some Furious Jenkins.
It's like Pimms but use Relentless instead of lemonade.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Plebian

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:17, Reply)

good name

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:20, Reply)

It'll be like having a party for children, everyone will be running around all hyper
and I'll have to tell people off for climbing on the roof.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Pimms must be made in the following manner
Pimms
Lemonade
Gin
Gingeer Beer
Cucumber, strawberries, oranges and mint
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:17, Reply)

cucumber is fucking vile

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I forgot about your hatred of cucumber; least offensive of all salad vegetables

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:21, Reply)

it's disgusting
I pity you poor fools who can't taste it's vile fucking strongness as you are obviously missing out on the tastes of other things that aren't fucking horrible
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:24, Reply)

It's not as bad as celery.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:25, Reply)

it's much worse

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Celery is so wrong
It's taints everythjing with it's horridness
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:27, Reply)

celery is just disgusting.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:27, Reply)

that's what cucumber does
but much worse than celery!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Have you n oticed that you are the only peerson to dislike cucumber?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:28, Reply)

I know a guy who can smell cucumber from the next room

(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:30, Reply)

I can smell your mum from the next room

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:41, Reply)

why is she in the next room?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:47, Reply)

I told her to clean herself up and wait there

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Kitty is burgling your parents' house as we speak.
Stop buggering about on the internet and ring them for goodness sake.
(Cave Duck, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:08, Reply)

I dislike cucumber...
... because of the way it taints the inside of sandwiches.

It's okay in salads though
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:30, Reply)

I dont mind cucumber
but I wouldnt defile a perfectly good pimms with it (I dont care what the ad says)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:31, Reply)

He's not

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Oh, I thought he was weird

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I know a few people who feel the same
it tastes really strong and horrible to me
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:35, Reply)

SUCK IT BITCH

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:34, Reply)

The cucumber?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:40, Reply)

yeah, why not

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:47, Reply)

To be honest I don't like cucumber either
but if it's in a salad I'll eat it because it's not very offensive.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:41, Reply)

You don't add extra gin to Pimms!
That's insane behaviour!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:22, Reply)

It gives it some kick and the ginger beer balances the sweetness
Trust me on this
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:24, Reply)

squid stuffed with chorizo
big flat mushrooms
tiger prawns
flatbread
sweet peppers (the long pointy ones)

edit: and beer
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:08, Reply)

what kind of poncy ass barbecues do you throw?
Because I want to come to the next one.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:13, Reply)

fucking gourmet barbecues
I go camping a lot, which means eating a lot of barbecue. there are only so many burgers and sausages you can eat.

the best thing I can suggest you do is get a pineapple, slice it into 6 or 8 lengthways, leaving the leaves and skin on. cut into the flesh towards the skin and cut away from the skin so you have a load of trapezoidal chunks sat on the skin. skewer through the skin, through the chunks and through the skin again so it's all held in place.

Mix dark rum, ground ginger and sugar together and brush it all over the pineapple flesh, then barbecue skin side down for ages, occasionally brushing with more sauce.

serve with vanilla ice cream and the remaining sauce
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:17, Reply)

the best thing I can suggest you do is get a pineapple and kill it with fire because it's evil.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I don't like pineapple either
but the above transforms it into something amazing
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Ok I'll give this a go!
I say I, I mean Wiggy.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I can't quite remember the quantities
something like 2 tablespoons of rum, a teaspoon of ginger and 2 or 4 tablespoons of dark brown sugar
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I'll guess
and probably fuck it up.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:28, Reply)

it's hard to fuck up
particularly if you do what I said above
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:35, Reply)

so basically you're saying
"it's easy if you follow the instructions"

Thanks genius.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:42, Reply)

you were the one who said you'd fuck it up even with the simple instructions...
compared to you I am a genius :-P
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:46, Reply)

you're the one giving me guessed measurements!
*shoves hands in pockets and kicks pebble*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:00, Reply)

That sounds like a lot of - presumably ground? - ginger.
but then I do like ginger
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:04, Reply)

I may have the quantity of ginger wrong
it did have a fair amount, at least half a teaspoon
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:19, Reply)

rice salad.
NOM NOM NOM.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Rice, cous-cous, croissants.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:09, Reply)

all in a pile?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:43, Reply)

a l' Americano

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Crackwhores
stuffed with COCK
( broadsword, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:10, Reply)

I find that gives them a rather salty aftertaste
Therefore I suggest eating them with a mango chutney to bring out the sweetness.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:12, Reply)

*makes joke about fingerfood*

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Sun, beer and football

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:14, Reply)

football can fuck right off.
We have Twister though.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Real beer
as in a selection of ales.

Oh and vegetarian barbecue stuff for those of us who've resigned from their position at the top of the food chain.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Bearded lesbian

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:16, Reply)

That list doesn't include sandals and
a subscription to The Guardian BTW.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Mung Bean eating bleeding heart leftie bearded lesbian Bill Oddie lover ;)

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Madonna once sang about him you know...
..."Bill Oh-ddie, Bill Oh-ddie, smear your beard all oh-ver my bo-dy"
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:21, Reply)

ha ha ha
yet horrid
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Sadly I imagined that in the style of Adam Ant.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:39, Reply)

I have to have a separate barbecue for two of my lame friends who don't eat meat
but they eat fish and still call themselves veggie, which annoys me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I like the Frankie Boyle take on vegetarians
"There is a vegetarian option,..."
"You can fuck off."
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Halloumi kebabs are good veggie barbecue fare.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:28, Reply)

yeah one of the pescatarians always brings halloumi
he makes halloumi, mushroom and pepper kebabs, they're pretty nom.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Try paneer kebabs.
They're also nom.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:55, Reply)

how do you get them off the motorbike and onto skewers?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:56, Reply)

With a panier knife.
Duh.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:59, Reply)

n v

Mushrooms are the devil's own tag-nuts.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:58, Reply)

I love mushrooms
they're so nommy. I used to hate them as a kid though, so I don't know what changed.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:01, Reply)

get big flat ones
or portabello, and smear them with butter and salt and pepper, then bbq them.

awesome
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:02, Reply)

sounds good
We were thinking of doing the big flat mushrooms stuffed with cheese and those sweet peppers.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:08, Reply)

nice

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Why is it that Vegetarians at a barbecue...
...are as popular as Jeremy Clarkson at a Green Party conference?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:32, Reply)

BBQs are a celebration of meat
By being vegetarian you are undermining their whole existance.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:37, Reply)

A few simple pastas that taste ok cold
Like pasta and sweetcorn, pasta and a tomatoey sauce.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:21, Reply)

pasta and dj's cock

(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Sweet corn on the end? What have you been up to dj? dirty boy!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Nom
Warmish though, not barbecued :s
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:27, Reply)

this is a good idea, Wiggy's obsessed with pasta and pesto
even though I think it's greasy and horrible.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:29, Reply)

I know a way to put him off it
it's not pleasant, but it worked for a guy I lived with at uni
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)

as long as the word 'smear' isn't involved then I'm open to ideas

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:01, Reply)

it is not
my mate used to eat pasta and pesto out of a saucepan most days. one day we discovered that a pan with the dregs had been left "to soak" on the side in the kitchen. for possibly a week.

once the water was tipped away the smell was fucking repulsive. it put us all right off.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:07, Reply)

He won't leave something soaking for a week
he'll get all Kim and Aggie on me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:09, Reply)

you might have to hide it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:13, Reply)

I'm on it.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Here's a fire related story.
I like fire and flames and all that shit, so my job designing burner control systems is really like extended therapy.
I was up at Anglesey, on an aluminium holding furnace. At 750degC the metal is liquid brilliant yellow, and basically beautiful. It had bits of insulation floating on it like minature icebergs. As I was watching through the viewing hole, I was getting nearer and nearer. One of the burners came on, and blew hot gases out of the viewing hole. I lost all the hair on my head. If I hadn't had goggles on, I would have lost my eyes too. God, I was quaking in my boots until I realised I was OK.
Let that be a lesson to you kids, don't stick your head in furnace, no matter how great it looks.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:23, Reply)

That is an excellent story

(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:25, Reply)

"don't stick your head in a furnace"
Obvious advice is obvious
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I knew this, but it was hypnotic.
Imagine an arctic seascape with icebergs, only brilliant yellow. Shimmering in the heat.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:28, Reply)

holy fuck!
Please tell me you have pictures of your hairless head afterwards
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:30, Reply)

I wasn't thinking of photos at the time, more of a bucket of cold water.
I do have some photos of other bits of hot metal.

I'll try and scan some in sometime.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:31, Reply)

I want to see you looking like you have leukaemia!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Thank you, and I hope your tits fall off.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:54, Reply)

If they did I would be considerate enough to take a picture.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:09, Reply)

On reflection, I think it would be better if they stayed where they were.
Time and gravity will do the job eventually.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:25, Reply)

nah
that's the great thing about smoobs, they stay put right up until I croak.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:02, Reply)

You are effectively ASKING for a cock-gaz here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I'll just get my macro lens.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Ha!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:44, Reply)

I did not think this through.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Here's a fire related story
Having finished our final year at High School, the best part of our year in something of a cliche descended en mass to the beach for a bonfire, BBQ and mostly illegal drinking. We had brought an amount of petrol to help the Bonfire along and used it quite sensibly initially, however as the drink started flowing and the night progressed, a few crazy heads started "playing with fire".

The canister of petrol was mostly used in non-hilarious fashion, yadda yadda, but at the end my good friend James trying to get the last of the petrol out of the canister, went for the classic "hold can high and look inside" trick. Idiot. So a trickle of the last drop of fuel landed square in his right eye. I'm not sure if anyone's landed petrol in the eye before, but I'm told it is agonising.

My lasting memory of that night is the image of James desperately pouring the only non-petrol fluid to hand - a 2 litre bottle of Diet Coke & Lemon - directly over his head and gushing the entire content into his eye socket.

He was quickly driven to hospital and he made a full recovery.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:29, Reply)

I'd like to say what a bunch of dopey twats you all were,
But that would be hypocritical.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:36, Reply)

that made my eye water just reading it

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:45, Reply)

DG's BBQ Meat Marinades
Pork Lion Steaks + Light Soy Sauce + Chili + Honey 24 hours =BBQ low heat until cooked.

Chicken Breast Chunks + Patak's Tikka Paste + Natural Yoghurt + Fresh Corriander 24 hours = BBQ medium to high heat until cooked (can be grilled first to make sure they're cook)

Rack of Pork Loin Ribs (about £3.50ish)
bottle of Reggee Reggee jerk/BBQ sauce
1/2 a glass of Orange Juice.

Preheat oven to 120c

Pour OJ and BBQ sauce into roasting pan, mix, dip ribs and baste all over. will be quite watery but that's fine. Cover tightly in tin foil.

Put in oven for 2 hours (can cook for longer if you wish for more tender) take out and re baste ever 30 mins.

after 2 hours drain all the juice/sauce (apart from a tiny tiny bit about 2%) into a sauce pan, put ribs back in, and then heat & reduce the sauce into a thicker sauce (should take about 10-15 mins)

Baste with reduced sauce and cook on hot BBQ for 1 mins each side. or until sauce is glazed.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:40, Reply)

I've just had a sex orgasm over your ribs recipe

(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:42, Reply)

same here
I haven't eaten anywhere near enough ribs this year

I might have to get some this week
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:45, Reply)

recipe
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Ah man, I'm starving now and all I have is a stupid apple!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:43, Reply)

I just had something I'm not too sure about
It was a lasagna pie.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Lasagne in pastry?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Yes
Like a standard Steak Pie but instead of beef and gravy within the confines of the pie it was a fucking lasagna.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:50, Reply)

that sounds weird

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Frankly I think I need to take a shower

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I have never had any type of food make me need a shower
as far as I can remember
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:54, Reply)

What about that time Al got his man gravy all over your face?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Or when he got chocolate fudge all over his genitals?

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:57, Reply)

that doesn't really count as food

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:04, Reply)

Some people swallow...

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Meaning you

(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:10, Reply)

NO. NOT ME.
I don't give blow jobs.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:14, Reply)

I have now lost all interest in you sexually
I do hope Amberl gives blowjobs or B3ta is going to become a very boring place for me.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Half relieved, half disappointed.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:25, Reply)

Which half is which?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Evenly spread.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Like you legs!
Badum TISH!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I walked straight into that one.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I want one; where did you get it?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Local bakery
North of Scotland. I'll post you one for £8.99+delivery
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:56, Reply)

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Maybe not, but are you made of porka nd covered in BBQ sauce?
No? Then by definition you are a little bit shit.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Quit disturbing the Apple force.
I'm trying to relax here.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:04, Reply)

Aww
Why am I feeling sorry for a cartoon apple?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:57, Reply)

It's one of your kin
Like how the Ents feel it when there's a disturbance in the tree force.

EDIT: You've only just got up haven't you?!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:59, Reply)

There's a disturbance in the Apple force.
I feel it.
Maybe is time for a little destruction, no?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Destroy Naked Ape, he's the one who badmouthed the apples!
I just illustrated the point.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:02, Reply)

I think that's the first sensible reply I've ever seen you write
I would have expected "wrap your pug in a rainbow and cuddle until it sicks"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:46, Reply)

what do you mean when you write 24 hours?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:46, Reply)

marinate for 24 hours

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)

ahh I shee.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Marinade it for 6 hours
then kick a pug for 12 hours then enjoy teh sick rainbow for 6 hours.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Some woman was walking to puglets outside my office yesterday
but I was too lazy to go out and kick them. Plus they were filming Coronation Street so I probably would have been seen.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Is puglets a place?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:59, Reply)

tooshay

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:03, Reply)

Which animal do 'pork lion steaks' come from, please?
Are they like 'tiger prawns'?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Ha ha, you git

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:51, Reply)

It's
a pig's growler.
( Kroney, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:51, Reply)

I do some lush stuff with ribs, but donno if it would work on a BBQ.
Cut up some Sundried Tomartos, Garlic, any out-of-the-bottle BBQ sauce, grilled jar'd red peppers, some chopped chilli, honey, brown sugar, whatever-else-you-think-would-work.

Mix it all up and smother the ribs, which take about 40 minutes to cook, smothering some more sauce on every 10 minutes.

It's soo good, I like that with half a loaf of Tiger Bread, to make 'pulled pork' style sandwiches.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:56, Reply)

if you wrap it all in foil and cook it slowly for a couple of hours
then bbq it briefly it would be awesome.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:57, Reply)

I love the ingredient "whatever else you think would work"
Can I get that in Sainsbury's?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:04, Reply)

BBQs need trampolines

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)

man, I need a dog and a trampoline
immediately
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Everyone needs this.
It should be a new law.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Oh I want this.
I have an exercise trampoline and a rat. I'm on it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:04, Reply)

Videos please.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:06, Reply)

I'm really tempted to photoshop some breasts onto that dog

( broadsword, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:50, Reply)

So basically you're throwing a load of veg in some mayonnaise?
Skills.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)

At least she knows her place

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Er, did you not see where I said coronation CHICKEN
Hmph.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:05, Reply)

I know a lovely drink
Orange Juice, Campari, mixed frozen fruit of your choice, something like cranberry or apple or pomigranite and ice... all mixed up in a blender.

And cover bananas in tin foil and dump them in the coal when you first light it. You can then take them out when it's desert time and they'll be black. Slice down the side and fill with some combination(s) of.
- Nuts
- Honey
- Nutella
- Ameretto
- Glava

Seriously nice.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I'm going to try and make some banana splits with chocolate in the middle and toffee sauce and shiznit
should be awesome.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:05, Reply)

I was cooking with some kids t'other day.
One wanted to try a recipe he'd heard of. Make up some choc cake mix, and spoon it into an orange (having scooped out a golf-ball sized hole for it). Put it in the fire.
It was one of the foulest things I've ever put in my mouth.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:04, Reply)

I've posted this before...
...but the nomness is stunning.

www.bbqaddicts.com/blog/recipes/bacon-explosion/
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:16, Reply)

I've made several of them
They are fucking superb.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:17, Reply)

I'l show that to Wiggy later
and watch him jizz everywhere.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:21, Reply)

The bacon does not need a salty marinade...

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:27, Reply)

neither does my face
but he won't be told.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:32, Reply)

I have a bbq problem.
It's an old bbq left in the garden by previous owners.
It's an unusual design - a cross between a pot-bellied stove and a rotisserie. I can make the rotisserie turn, but the fire keeeps going out. Also, the charcoal falls around inside it and ends up on the food. Any suggestions welcome. I have a picture if that helps.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:45, Reply)

is this some kind of trick?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:49, Reply)

Of course.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Time's up
here you go
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:06, Reply)

it's a good one

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 13:14, Reply)