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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Slow afternoon is going too slowly
Enough of Kitty's anger, what are you doing this weekend?

I'm playing a gig tonight, then probably getting wasted. Lie in tomorrow (yay!) possibly riding my newly fixed bike down to the guitar shop to try new guitars, then playing another gig tomorrow night.

Finishing off the weekend with some exciting DIY.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:08, 249 replies, latest was 16 years ago)


(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)
oh so creepy

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:12, Reply)
you should see how much he's licking his lips, the beams are well moist.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)
I do not want to consider that

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:18, Reply)
I saw that the moment you posted it,
and only just stopped laughing,
cunt.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)
Ain't I just the worstest?

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:16, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:15, Reply)
This should be the next image challenge

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:20, Reply)
What, 'shop Chompy into images
That accurately convey his creepiness?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:21, Reply)
Chompy in 30 years.
www.funnyforumpics.com/forums/ASL/1/ASL-Creepy_Guy.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:23, Reply)
Chompy in 15 years
Apologies to those who've already seen it on my FB.
Here
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:25, Reply)
worryingly that kind of looks like my dad
EDIT: no, it's just the tash. He has my dad's tash.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)
Chompy probably does
In a jar, labeled, and placed amongst his many other meticulously organised jars.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:28, Reply)
Photoshop a Sex Deprived Man From Milton Keynes?
I like it.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:21, Reply)
how do we keep this lolchomp
at the top of the popular page forever?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:30, Reply)
We don't I'm going to politely ask vipros to delete this soon,
I have a job you know.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:35, Reply)
why don't you just ask DG to delete the picture?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:42, Reply)
Yeah could do,
I'll wait though it deserves some attention.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:46, Reply)
I thought about putting it on my FB wall and continually tagging you in it
but I knew you'd go sick
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:47, Reply)
Yes, I think you and I should have a game of who can ruin each others careers over the internet.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:52, Reply)
I could photoshopping her touch a kid if you want?
get us a pic and I'll do it now.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:54, Reply)
I think you're taking it a little too seriously
there's nothing on the internet that could ruin my career.

If I had one.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:55, Reply)
Not yet
muah muah muah
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:56, Reply)
I'm picturing me being dragged away in handcuffs screaming
"it was photoshopped! PHOTOSHOPPED!" and people going "no one's that good with photoshop"
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:57, Reply)
I could just publish the gaz trail where I refused to fuck you up the arse.
That's my collateral.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:57, Reply)
Go for it
Although that bit I wrote about Vipros might make things awkward between us
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:59, Reply)
between you and I?
or between you and chompy?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:17, Reply)
I know what she's talking about and you don't
hahahahahahaha
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:18, Reply)
contrary to your perceived goal
that has made me give a shit even less than I did before.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:20, Reply)
After Chompy 'turned me down' I said I would console myself with you
or words to that effect *looks shifty*
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:24, Reply)
I suspect it was more like "make do"
but I'll let you off. your naivety does you credit.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:25, Reply)
nah it wasn't pitying
it was filthy.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:36, Reply)
awesome
feel free to gaz me details

*waggles eyebrows*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:52, Reply)
OMG
He's having a stroke!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:53, Reply)
not yet
she hasn't gazzed me yet
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:54, Reply)
Lab sets 'em up
Vips knocks 'em down!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:57, Reply)
*high fives*

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 17:48, Reply)
I said something about you spilling your molten hot smugness all over my chest.
There, ya happy?!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 17:05, Reply)
FILTH

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 17:07, Reply)
you loves it

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 17:19, Reply)
ecstatic :-D

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 17:48, Reply)
yeah but it's not like you're famous or anything.
It's staying, and if you complain anymore i'll call you a rapist on your facebook again.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:48, Reply)
I like this and have clicked accordingly.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:50, Reply)
It's easy for you mr common name,
everything is pretty easily traced to me if you know my name.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:55, Reply)
Maybe time to stop raping then really

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:56, Reply)
I'd probably give up bellowing your first name when you spluff too

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:00, Reply)
I say "make it so"

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:04, Reply)
I always go with "GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL*
Then run around the bedroom doing airplanes
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:11, Reply)
good job you're on your own most of the time then

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:12, Reply)
If someone did this after sex
I would piss myself laughing and ask to see them again.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:13, Reply)
It's not just when I orgasm, when I successfully get a mouthful of soup in my gob without pouring it on my chest I do it in the restaurant too

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:14, Reply)
you laugh but I'm usually wearing some of my lunch
it's not a sign of retardedness *sobs*
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:25, Reply)
Just before, I look the woman in the eye and say "Who wants to live forever?"
Then, at the vinegar strokes, I laugh loudly and shout "DIIIIIVVVVEEEE!"
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:13, Reply)
I like to go with the post-coitus high five.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:14, Reply)
This rocks so much!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:15, Reply)
do you mean to tell me that you have never high fived your partner after sex?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:18, Reply)
You're all barely sentient cro-magnons
After intercourse, all that should be done is you should give your sexual partner a firm handshake, a pat on the bottom, and then throw their body in the canal
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:20, Reply)
this is my favourite post today.

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:21, Reply)
This made me officelol
and I can't explain myself
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:25, Reply)
just read it out verbatim

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:26, Reply)
they already think I'm weird
and that I laugh at child abuse.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:34, Reply)
good
goooood
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:36, Reply)
Not yet, no
I actually feel ashamed.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:21, Reply)
you may need to build up to it
as it needs to be spontaneous.

you need to introduce high-fiving into your relationsip. don't overdo it though.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:22, Reply)
Oh we high-five, just haven't done so after sex
Yet.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:23, Reply)
then maybe you just aren't good enough to warrant it
my next goal is going for the spontaneous post-coital high-then-low five.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:26, Reply)
I take umbrage at that
I like to think it's because I leave her without the energy for a high-five.
Stupid Rohypnol
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:28, Reply)
But only if you both attain satisfaction I hope
otherwise it's just empty and wrong
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:19, Reply)
goes without saying
if you both aren't satisfied then the proposer of the high five is just going to be left hanging, and no one wants that
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:19, Reply)
I go with the standard
"Take two bottles into the shower? No, I just Wash & Go."
Then jizz in their hair.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:18, Reply)
I've taken a leaf out of the book of a character from Weeds
and now shout "LEGENDARY!"
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:19, Reply)
As just before reaching the vinegar strokes,
you should say "this is Legen-wait for it..." pause while you cum, then go "...dary" afterwards.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:25, Reply)
a la Barney Stinson?
I could manage that
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:25, Reply)
Bang on.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:27, Reply)
oh I will

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:31, Reply)
who says that?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:26, Reply)
I can't believe I can't remember his name
*googles*

Doug
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:30, Reply)
I thought it might be him
I can't remember him saying it though.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:33, Reply)
yeah me too
stupid rare name.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:56, Reply)
THAT IS FANTASTIC

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:13, Reply)
DJing tonight
Sleeping tomorrow
Daughter Sunday morning
Fuck all rest of Sunday

Abject misery throughout.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)
good lad
less of the misery though eh?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:13, Reply)
"Monty Boyces Wheels of Steel"
The ABBA megamix, followed by the Grease megamix, followed by the Jivebunny megamix followed by YMCA...
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:22, Reply)
You've seen me DJ before, then, Colin?
Ah yes - at the Belmarsh fun day, I remember now.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:33, Reply)
It was bitch-stabbingly good!

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:53, Reply)
Is that 'fuck-all' as in nothing...
...or are you planning 'to fuck' for the rest of Sunday?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)
The former.
I have retired from sleeping with women: the cause of at least 50% of my life's woes...

EDIT *something hilarious about sleeping with men*

...saved you the bother....
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)
Nonsense.
I know you are as 'shirtless' as a Geordie on a brisk March evening and wouldn't dream of suggesting otherwise.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:46, Reply)
Got a LARP event starting tonight
So hopefully the weather holds out.
I aim to get hammered tonight, then stumble around woods hitting weirdos with swords.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:10, Reply)
I'd really like to go to a LARP event dressed as a sword.
I'd lie on the ground screaming in my boomy mediaeval voice:

"SWING ME YOU FOOLS!!!!"
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:13, Reply)
I wholeheartedly encourage this

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:16, Reply)
sweet. see you there.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:17, Reply)
later on im going to talk dirty to prepubescent sweaties on xbox live round my mates
then for the rest of the weekend i shall be sunning my legs and tits in someone elses garden drinking someone elses beers.

im shit at diy
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:12, Reply)
I approve of your plans

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:12, Reply)
Those fucking shelves
make me piss myself every time
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:32, Reply)
I would give you my xbox live ID but then it would have mean that we've been on a date and I'd get a bit attached.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:15, Reply)
nah i ent got one im a ps3 girl innit
my mate max has and they do the playing while i talk filth on the headset. dont pretend you dont do this.
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:17, Reply)
Doesn't really work as none of the other boys will flirt back with me :(

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:20, Reply)
nah they dont with me either im a bit hardcore for their liking
they usually dont speak but you can see every one of them silently switch their headsets on. puts them right off their stride on cod. cunts love it.
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:24, Reply)
I fackin luv ya mouth you massive schlag.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:33, Reply)
I'm going to look at your tits now on fackbook and you can't stop me.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:33, Reply)
that was wicked fun.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:48, Reply)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:01, Reply)
I have a PS3
we can play worms armageddon!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:20, Reply)
i dont have worms armageddon :(
ive just whooped the arse out of batman on normal
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:22, Reply)
haha I had to restart Fallout 3 on easy
don't tell anyone
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)
I used to think you were cool

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:04, Reply)
no you didn't,
liar
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:06, Reply)
Maybe a little bit
But not any more.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:08, Reply)
I've completed all the Zeldas!
(ok that's not true, I just want you to like me again)
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:09, Reply)
Really? You actively are putting effort into garnering my 'like' of you?
For that alone, I like you again.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:10, Reply)
disjointed sentence is disjointed
I've finished Phantom Hourglass, Windwaker and Spirit Tracks if that helps. I'm still working on Twilight Princess.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:13, Reply)
I kept changing my words, and then didn't proofread it
I've not played my Zelda, I'm not a fan of Nintendo games (apart from Phoenix Wright stuff). I admire your dedication to gaming though.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:14, Reply)
OBJECTION!
I love Phoenix Wright. Although on the second one you have to actually shout objection which is pretty embarrassing.

On Spirit Tracks you have to blow into the microphone to use one of your weapons which is annoying because the DS is perfect for travel, but doing things like that makes you look crazy.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:27, Reply)
I played the 2nd and didn't have to shout OBJECTION!
But yes, playing some DS games on the train does mean people look at you funny.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:29, Reply)
I'm sure I did
maybe I'm just retarded and shouted at a train full of people for no reason.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:33, Reply)
This is entirely likely

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:41, Reply)
it's so good though pant wettingly excited for new one

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:46, Reply)
worst skate ramp ever.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)
dunno about tonight, probably food and booze and pool
tomorrow is a baby shower, possibly riding 4 wheelers, swimming and hunting and my friend's house
sunday is the god damn football
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)
make sure you have a sturdy umbrella

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:15, Reply)
*doesn't get it*

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:22, Reply)
shower of babies

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:23, Reply)
out!

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:27, Reply)
You cannot diffuse my anger!
I'm going on a boat this weekend. Got my flippy floppies.

Unfortunately, aforementioned douchebag will be there so I'm not looking forward to it any more.

Wiggy's supposed to be fixing my bike so I can join bike club. I've been stealing his to ride to work on this week and it's been terrifying.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:15, Reply)
Hit the douchebag with your flippy floppies

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:17, Reply)
I really hope thats a nick name for her lung hammers.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:17, Reply)
what's a lung hammer?
is it a fish?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:21, Reply)
BREASTS

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:32, Reply)
BREASTS

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:33, Reply)
BREASTS

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)
BREASTS?!

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:46, Reply)
there these things, soft and juicy you've got when you look down
on a plate of KFC.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:49, Reply)
mmmm KFC
Someone emailed my friend on facebook today with the message "I like your face, hair and breasts"

Was it you?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:51, Reply)
I like KFC
And breasts.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:03, Reply)
enough to email a stranger to tell them about it?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:06, Reply)
No
I am a gent, I would send a telegram first, presenting myself and asking permission if I could message them through Facebook.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:07, Reply)
Would you be wearing your top hat and tails from the other day?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:09, Reply)
But of course!
And as I bow with a flourish, I'd leave a dust trail from the hat.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:11, Reply)
I told the girl in question and she would like to meet you

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:14, Reply)
That's surprising!
Wait, does she want to meet me to say "That's the one, Officer!"
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:16, Reply)
I would giggle coyly and curtsey in return
And if you were really lucky, I might not just flash my ankles...but a bit of shin as well!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:16, Reply)
slut

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:17, Reply)
How DARE you!
If you do not apologise post-haste, I shall have to defend the lady's honour and demand reparations!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:20, Reply)
Rapiers at dawn!

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:21, Reply)
Indeed, m'lady
To first blood?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:22, Reply)
Of course.
I am most concerned for thy safety, but give him a good thrashing, yeah?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:32, Reply)
The rapscallion is in for a swift exsanguination
When it comes to the noble art of fencing, I am second to none!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:40, Reply)
oh fuck off.
I wasn't flashing them at you. If you really want to be involved in this role play, I suppose we can draft you in as Jack The Ripper.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:20, Reply)
pahahaha
I'm totally picturing him with a cape and a top hat and a twirly moustache like the bad guy out of silent films
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:21, Reply)
Tying a helpless Applebite to railroad tracks.

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:23, Reply)
Haha!
But who will come to my rescue seconds before the train arrives?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:30, Reply)
I shall, m'lady!
Fear not!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:39, Reply)
The whole thing is a bit LARPy for me.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:23, Reply)
You'll give me palpitations!
Verily you shall put me to an early grave, albeit with a smile on my face!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:19, Reply)
Oh dear sir!
You do flatter me so. Have this silken handkerchief as a token of luck for the upcoming duel with that dastardly psychochomp.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:29, Reply)
I shall treasure it always, m'lady
You do me a great honour!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:30, Reply)
have you got a nautical themed pashmina afghan?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:18, Reply)
not yet
never thought I'd be on a boat
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:23, Reply)
remember to take a good hard look

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:23, Reply)

sadface
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:18, Reply)
you don't scare me now that we've entered into the gift giving pact
Now you're my weird-gift giving buddy.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:22, Reply)
Splendid!

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:22, Reply)
unless you send me one of your severed toes or something
that would bump me right back to scared
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:23, Reply)
I need all my toes, you creep.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)
no one needs all their toes
what do you do that requires all 11?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:31, Reply)
cheeky scamp, I only have 3

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:32, Reply)
are you a pigeon?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:37, Reply)
If I were you I'd leave the douchebag at home and take T-Pain instead.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:22, Reply)
he does do some nice vocoder style harmonies it must be said

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:23, Reply)
T-Pain and GlaDOS, sitting in a tree

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:24, Reply)
and be On A Boat, Motherfucker!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:23, Reply)
Oh god why didn't I think of this,
I can just tell him we're taking T Pain instead.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:23, Reply)
Do it
and video it

then recreate the song while you are on the boat
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:29, Reply)
there are so many recreations of that video
but I have yet to see a canal boat one.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:31, Reply)
there's your niche
I'm totally going to have to listen to it when I get home.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:32, Reply)
Just in case you're still cross,
you may enjoy this headline foreshadowing Darth's forthcoming running adventures.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:31, Reply)
hahaha
also, I haven't used the term cross for ages, I like saying it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)
I'm with my bird this weekend. We've been going steady for 15 years.
I can't believe it, and I'm not sure she can either. We will be roaming about the New forest, and generally chilling out. I may finish the destruction of the shed which smashed my foot up, but only if it rains.

Next week hols for me alone in my sweaty flat in Luton. I'll be naked all week, except when I go to get more beer.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:19, Reply)
oooh i fucking love the new forest
i envy you.
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:24, Reply)
I prefer the old one

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:25, Reply)
Before it got cool and everyone loved it?
Fuckin' scenester...
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:27, Reply)
It is jolly good.
Nice to have two homes between us. My pit in Luton, and her nice house near the forest.

And the cops don't know I'll be there, so I'm safe.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)
I'm going to Paris to drink silly drinks in Scottish pubs
And then try to climb fountains and throw my mobile in the Seine
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:28, Reply)
You're still mental.
Good news.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:32, Reply)
Well hopefully I'll be sensible and just drink things and not throw my phone into things or roll about on the pavement for an hour in the rain
BUT one can never tell, such is life. C'est la vie. Say you will, say you won't.

Alright face.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)
I am going to try to be sensible.
However, I am off to the pub in five minutes, so that might not work out for me.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)
If you're caught up a lamp post trying to use your knickers as semaphore again there'll be troulbe from the bobbies

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:44, Reply)
WHAT HAPPENED IN PARIS STAYS IN PARIS

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:45, Reply)
It's my birthday
I intend to get drunk and eat cake.
(berk, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:32, Reply)
Happy birthday (best Eyore voice)

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:34, Reply)
make rum cake
two birds one stone.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)
I'm making
nutella cake. And possibly a Pimm's cake too. Nom :)
(berk, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:52, Reply)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I haven't gotten round to reading you paper yet, but I'm on it :)
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:48, Reply)
Hehe
well you do have the entirety of the summer off in which to read it...

bloody students mumble grumble etc
(berk, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:17, Reply)
she'll be whinging about her summer job next

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:20, Reply)
I love my summer job, unlike SOME PEOPLE.
It provides me with money on which to get drunk.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:36, Reply)
Happy birthday!
All the best folks have July birthdays.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:55, Reply)
^ I concur wholeheartedly with this sentiment
Happy birthday berk!
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:58, Reply)
Oooo
Happy Birthdy!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:04, Reply)
Ta very muchly :)

(berk, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:16, Reply)
Busy.
Shopping with Mrs T (I say 'with', she goes to clothes shops and I loiter around nearby stores.) Evening is a party for a friend and I have a 1.5 hour DJ set followed by M*ss*v* Dr*gs, lots of Italian red and a bouncy castle.,
Sunday taking kids to Malvern for a hike, kite flying fun and on the way home a scrummy pub supper, then watch the Oranje crush Spain in the World Cup final. (That's football you know.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:44, Reply)
I've never seen either Crackhouse or Captain V
is this them?
awkwardfamilypetphotos.com/2010/07/03/saturday-night-special-the-arrival/
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:45, Reply)
That dog looks ready for a nosh.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:47, Reply)
oh eeeewwwwwwwww

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:52, Reply)
Looking after my Grandma-ma
and getting my train home on Sunday, to stay for a while, then PACK AND MOVE TO LOVELY LOVELY SOUTH LONDON.
All caps, because I'm excited. I'm planning my housewarming, already have extended invitations over to all manner of creatures (though one's coming because he wants to fuck my hot flatmate, so yeah)
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:12, Reply)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:14, Reply)
What's the sadface for?
Also, cocktails. Soon. I'd like to meet you and I want to spend longer than 3 seconds drinking at Font. And actually be conscious at the end.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:16, Reply)
because she didn't get an invite I expect
(I don't blame you)
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:17, Reply)
no because she's leaving Manchester
You're shit and dull and I hate you.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:20, Reply)
I LIKE THIS

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:21, Reply)
Sarf Lunnun awaits in trepidation.
Where near?
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:36, Reply)
Camberwell
About 3 mins walk from the Green.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 17:22, Reply)
tough street.
You're made for each other.
Say hello to the Beauty.
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 9 Jul 2010, 20:44, Reply)
The housewarming?
It's not official, just a "Come and see my lovely house".

I've just invited her to something over on book of face. And YOU didn't reply to my text!
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:20, Reply)
I don't usually reply to texts about what someone saw out of a window.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:23, Reply)
The concrete cows though.
They excited me, and now I have no need to visit Milton Keynes.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:27, Reply)
You should've said, I've been texting you about the giant brick outside my window for weeks now
IT'S FUCKING GIANT
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:34, Reply)
well I can guarantee the first one but probably not the second!

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:20, Reply)
I'm avoiding the Fruli this time, that gets me laid with girls.
Oh wait, make that 5 frulis...
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:21, Reply)
are you coming on to me?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:32, Reply)
I'm coming all over you.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 17:23, Reply)
I've got the weekend off from my charity work in Liverpool
Think I'm going to have to get my stuff in order as I'm about to move house. And I'll be getting drunk and watching football.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:23, Reply)
Charity work in Liverpool?
That's no way to talk about Roota!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:27, Reply)
if you think I'm pissing into shoes on webcam later
you can sod off now
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:33, Reply)
But baby
I ordered you those new chunky rock boots. You know you love it really.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:41, Reply)
Oh I can only fill a delicate glass slipper

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:43, Reply)
quick
moaaaar tea!
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:46, Reply)
PUBLICPLACELOLZ

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:53, Reply)
What if I ask really nicely
Like, 'thirty quid via Paypal' nicely?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:42, Reply)
Done

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:43, Reply)
It's not my thing, really
Was just curious is all.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:52, Reply)
Pay up!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:53, Reply)
What the hell?!
I didn't even get erect, let alone off!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:54, Reply)
Not my fault
I've just pissed into a Hush Puppy
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:57, Reply)
It IS your fault
You know I only get off when it's brogues!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:59, Reply)
Ahem
www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10001_10001_084010262970_-1?CMP=OTC-GOOGLEPS
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 17:11, Reply)
*melts*

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 17:14, Reply)
I just noticed your sig, V
not my favourite song, but not a bad one. Bloody difficult to play though, if you're a gaybo like me
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:24, Reply)
it reminds me of my bands stuff a bit
and I like the silly lyrics
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:32, Reply)
pretty much the only decent song off that album
EDIT: getting confused between the 2nd and the 3rd. There are a couple more decent ones on the 2nd. Still, they're a pretty mediocre band.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:42, Reply)
they're ok
bit too much of a mashup of soundgarden and rage though really.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:50, Reply)
I think they could have been an ace band
if they replaced a few of the members of Audioslave with Ben Shepherd, Kim Thayil and Matt Cameron, for instance.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 17:03, Reply)
I've already made a 50-mile round trip (Barnsley and back) for booze today.
It's not going to get better than that.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:26, Reply)
Do you live on an oil rig?
Or in Rothbury?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:50, Reply)
Well, it was from the brewery shop.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 16:57, Reply)
And on the brightside
you're at least 25 miles away from Barnsley. That's just about safe I'd say.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 17:04, Reply)
True, but then again I'm uncomfortably close to Dewsbury.
Swings and roundabouts.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 18:00, Reply)
stopping in tonight with pizza and a bottle of wine
although I'm currently sitting in the pizza place as the moment I walked in the guy said, "oh shit" and started making it.
Tomorrow I'm off to Shrewsbury for afternoon drinking and evening fine dining. Woo!
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 20:30, Reply)

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